//------------------------------// // 1: Trixie Visits England, Briefly // Story: Everypony is Drunk and Speaking Russian For Some Reason // by Admiral Biscuit //------------------------------// Trixie Visits England, Briefly Admiral Biscuit The Great and Powerful Trixie paced in circles around the Slightly-Less-Great and Slightly-Less-Powerful-even-if-she-did-have-wings-now Twilight Sparkle's crystal castle. Her pounding on the door had gone unheeded by even that small green and purple monkey or whatever it was that Twilight kept around as a servant. That Twilight Sparkle was absent was obvious. When she would be back . . . that was not obvious. And so Trixie paced, occasionally knocking on the door or otherwise making a nuisance of herself, until finally Trixie was forced to admit defeat. She sat down in front of her foe's door and began to pen a note. Conveniently, Sugar Grape happened to be trotting by, and saw the unicorn. “She's not there,” the pegasus offered. “Trixie knows that.” “Did she tell you?” “Who?” “Trixie. Did Trixie tell you that Twilight was gone?” “Trixie is Trix—never mind. When will Sparkle be back?” Sugar Grape shrugged her wings. “Dunno. She went through a mirror-portal thing in the castle in order to go to some weird bipedal world and save Equestria in a rock concert or something. There was a public announcement, but I didn't really pay attention.” “Well, Trixie will go, too.” “Suit yourself.” The mare wandered off, never to be heard of again. As soon as she was gone, Trixie got out her Foal's First Lockpicking Set, and began working on the doors. An hour later, she discovered they'd been unlocked all along. The mirror-portal thing was easy to find. It was thrumming away happily in the center of a room, pulsing and throwing odd little bits of energy here and there. Beside it was a huge book labeled “Instructions for Mk I StarMagic gate.” Trixie skimmed past ten pages of warnings, before finding the spell which activated it. Fekk skade på sin eigen hestefot? Trixie's lips formed the strange words. She'd kind of slept through most of her incantation classes, and mispronounced 'hestefot' as 'Gloucester.' The portal pulsed happily anyway, and without any further ado, Trixie stepped through. The first thing she noticed in the new world was Cooper's Hill, which was crawling with dozens of running, stumbling, and tumbling bipeds, all headed in her direction. The second thing she noticed was a nine-pound wheel of double Gloucester cheese, moving at about sixty miles an hour, when it struck her squarely in the chest. She tumbled backwards through the portal, followed by the cheese. And that is how Trixie won the Gloucester Cheese-Rolling competition.