The greatest thing about being a ruler is: that you can do whatever the hell you want. Now that Celestia is gone, Equestria succumbs to my rules and logic, with no rebels what so ever! I’m guessing that they’re just too scared of my power to do anything, but that’s just me. It was a genius move on my part I think to have Twilight tell all of Equestria of what I did to her to magnify my power even more!
First thing that I did while in office, was dismantle the Nobility. These ponies need all the freedom in the world that they can have, and once the Nobility was out of the way, that led for the layponies of society to step in and run things, which leads to even more Chaos! I laugh at the mess that I have created as I sit atop my throne, overseeing my throne room. And as with a change of rulers, comes a change of castle style. My castle has been completely covered in some sort of candy sweet, as they are my favorite. Being immortal, obviously I don’t die from all of the natural, or pony-made diseases that are caused when eating too many sweets. The same can’t be said for the mortal ponies though.
As I’m sitting up here thinking what to do next, my slaves, or what I like to refer to as minions, come into the room.
“You need to tell her to stop this Master!” It was my good and faithful servant, Twilight. She had always stuck up for those in great danger, and here was no different.
“And why would I do that? Pinkie seems to be enjoying all of the sweets that I give her. As her friend, would you really take away the things that are keeping her alive?”
“Well… no, but she’s going to be eating herself to death if she doesn’t stop!” She ran over to Pinkie to try and pull her away from the chocolates But one word made it certain that she was still under her spell that I put her under:
“No!”
“Master, what did you do to her?!” Twilight said, still trying to pull Pinkie away from the chocolates.
“Oh, I just planted something in one of those candies that makes it so that she just can’t stop eating them. Sooner or later, she will die, and it’ll be your entire fault.” I said, taunting her with one of my fingers.
“No! No! Pinkie snap out of this! You don’t know what he’s doing to you! You have to cut it out!” Twilight kept on shouting at her pink friend, but her pleas fell on deaf ears, as I expected. This was such a brilliant trap of mine that I keep on patting myself on the back for it. For one thing, it keeps one of the more bizarre Elements at bay, and it also keeps Twilight from ever leaving the castle, as she has to constantly take care of Pinkie so that she won’t die. Though the truth of the matter is, she won’t die either way. Now, this is where the whole genius part of the plan comes in: Pinkie will never die. Every night, I erase all of the candy from her system so that she can start fresh in the morning. Though the one back draw of this would be if Twilight started to question things and ask why and how Pinkie can still be eating as much as she is. But, as I have again correctly predicted, she has been too preoccupied in trying to help Pinkie regain her self-control of her eating habits than actually being focused on the bigger questions.
While all might be right in Canterlot, there is still trouble in the rest of Equestria. Why just this morning I sent in a dispatcher to Ponyville to stop a potential uprising. While the method of execution wasn’t preferred by myself- burning at the stake in the public square- as it was to structured, I was however pleased with the result. That poor fellows name… what was it again? Oh yes, I remember now, it was Pound Cake. While I myself never made the execution, I need my sleep you know, I heard it went off without any trouble. And if Rainbow Dash and Applejack still thought they could start an uprising again, well, just ask his wife and twin newborns. I felt so sorry for them that I almost reconsidered throwing them over a volcano and instead resort to a much more civil method of execution. Almost.
“Master, the afternoon report is finished!” Ah, if it isn’t one of my favorite minions, Fluttershy, entering the room with the beauty and eloquence that I have come to expect form her. After all, she is the official head prostitute for Canterlot, using her kindness in just more than one way!
“So have any other ponies decided to rebel after this morning’s celebration?”
“None Master, just as you have predicted.”
“Ah, very good my young minion. Tonight you shall have work off and meet me inhere around oh, whatever o’clockish.”
“Yes Master.” She said, bowing to me as she existed the throne room.
“You know what today needs? A party!” I said, jumping down from my throne and appearing with a party hat on my head, and blowing a vuvuzela into Twilight’s face.
“Ohh a party! Master, you know that I love to throw parties!” Pinkie said, her face lighting up at the sound of a party.
“Yes, well, that’s why I put you as the official party planner of Equstria!” I said, clapping my hands together.
“What shall I work on first Master?”
“How about… the party invitations! Even better, you can tell every pony in all of Canterlot to come and enjoy this grand party of yours! But make sure you tell each and every pony here, or else it’ll be no candy for you for a week!”
“Gasp! No candy for an entire week! Master, I don’t think I could live that long without your chocolates!” Pinkie sank to the floor in despair.
“Now get up sweetie, as the clock is ticking. Oh, one more thing that I forgot: you have to do it blindfolded, and you can’t invite the same pony twice, or else you’ll lose. Even if you do it once.” I said, making the blindfold appear out of thin air before her eyes. “Oh and Twilight, make sure that you tag along with her. I wouldn’t want her to lose the game, now would I.” I said, whispering to Twilight.
“Not for the world Master.” Twilight said, walking out with Pinkie. Good. Now that I got those eye sours out of my sight, I can get down to the real business. Let’s see, I muttered, as I fished through all of my important paperwork. I have a meeting with the Griffon leader later today, then after that, nothing.
“That’s just fantastic!” I say to myself out loud, doing a little dance while I proceed to my private quarters. Now this is the only place where I find true peace in my life. Nothing but floating furniture and random house appliances. Now I am at home. I lay myself to rest with my head upside down on my pillow, which is in the middle of the room, surrounded by nothing, as all of my other things are in the corners at this moment, and settle down to relax for a long days work ahead of me. Oh I love being king, I thought, drifting off into solace.