Chapter 1
Rarity walked up the stairs of Shield’s house, a boxed cake in one hand and Sweetie Belle’s hand in the other. For the last couple of days, Sweetie had become friends with Shield’s sister: Hawk Eye. And Rarity was proud of her sister. She had taken the time to become friends with the new girl in town.
She rapped the front door and turned to her sister: “So, what are you going to do with Hawk today? Visit the arcade for your gaming cutie mark? Or will you be trying to beat the last level on that arcade game?”
Her sister just shrugs. “I don’t know. Scootaloo says we would make her a Cutie Mark Crusader, but Applebloom says that we should first see if she’s crusader material. Maybe we’ll just hang out.”
The door opened and revealed Hawk Eye, wearing jeans and a green shirt, rubbing her right eye. “Hey Bells, what brings you here?”
“Rarity baked a cake for Shield, and I wanted to see if you wanted to come to our clubhouse.”
“Oh,uh. I don’t know.” Hawk Eye sighed. “Good morning Miss Rarity.” she bowed, “if you want you can give him the cake personally.”
“Oh, he’s awake?” the seamstress asked.
“Eh, kinda.” the girl turned her head and hollered: “Shield! Get off your lazy backside and come say hi to your visit!”
“But I’m in my birthday suit!” came the reply. “Are you sure the visit won’t mind?”
Rarity was about to speak, but she never had the chance. “Doubt it, it’s Rarity.”
Before Rarity could turn away and run she heard a large thud, no doubt from Shield carelessly dropping from the upper floor, and muffled steps toward the door.
“Oh hey Rares, what brings you here so early?” he said as he opened the door. Rarity covered her sister’s eyes and tried to turn away, until she caught glimpses of silver. She turned back and saw that when they said the word suit, they didn’t mean what her mind was thinking.
The soldier was wearing a silver silk suit complete with matching tie and white shirt. Or at least, an emulation of one. His clothes were wrinkled from sleep, and too thin to be made for any other occasion. His feet were dressed in plush moccasins, a perfect match for sleepwear of such class.
“I just came to drop this off and see if our sisters were going to do anything. Also, Fluttershy said she will not be coming. She is having a rather busy day.”
“Oh, okay then. Thank you very much” he said, straightening his blazer. “Should I expect more gifts through the course of this day?”
“Perhaps,” she said coyly, “may I ask you something?”
“What is it with the misleading name of my apparel?”
“Um, no. Though that is a good question.”
“Well then, in order to answer a question you never asked.” he replied. “It was this little devil’s idea.” he tousled his sister’s blond hair. “She gave it to me on my birthday a couple of years ago and it just named itself.”
“But where did you get it?”
“I,” intervened Hawk, but stopped. She placed a thumb on her lips and stared at the ground. “I have no clue. I was hyped up on ice cream when Crystal and I went shopping.”
“Well that’s too bad, I never thought you could turn eveningwear into nightwear.”
“Yeah, it’s not every day that you see someone rocking the suitjamas like my brother.” Hawk Eye said with a grin, elbowing Shield.
“That is true.”
“So, you want to come in? Or do you have stuff to do before tonight?” Shield asked, unable to hide his red face
“I would love to, but I have already skipped too many days and my orders are beginning to back up.”
“Okay then, don’t let me stop you. The party will officially start at five, but there’s no actual time to get here.”
“I will keep it in mind.” and after handing him the box, she left.
“So, wanna come in?” Hawk asked her friend.
“Nah, I gotta go back to our clubhouse, Scootaloo and Applebloom are waiting for me. Wanna come?”
Hawk Eye eyed her brother and walked back inside. “Sorry, I gotta help out with the party. It’s kinda my job to check the snacks.”
“Oh
.oOo.
Eight hours later, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash arrived. “So what d´ya think this party´s gonna be like?” Rainbow asked.
“I imagine it is bound to be a simple affair, some snacks, some music and probably some games.” Rarity answered.
As they ascended the porch the door immediately swung open, revealing five hardened soldiers clutching video game controllers. The screen, a projector covering the fireplace and about two stories tall, was showing a fighting game where all five were playing. Out the five characters, a red man was slammed off stage, releasing a splash of red light.
“You fucking backstabber! We agreed to a truce and you steamrolled my ass the second we kicked Thunder out!” Shield bellowed, slamming the control to the pillow cushion.
“I said the truce was until we took down Thunder, and we got him.” Moondancer chuckled as she pulled a plate of chips from him.
“And I tanked most of the damage!” he replied, taking a sip from his tankard. “You planned this didn’t you?”
“Of course! I can’t take you out, so I just had to let someone else do the dirty work.”
As Shield rose, his face red and fists clenched, Crystal coughed loudly. He turned to face the door and saw his new guests. “Oh, hello there! I didn’t see you.” he scratched the back of his right ear. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Just after you got knocked off stage.” Rarity replied.
“Crap…” he murmured. “So, make yourselves at home.” Passing behind him was Pinkie with two pints of cider, handing one to Rainbow. “When did you…”
“Right before you said make ‘yourselves at home’”
“How did you find the…”
“The pints? They were behind the pans, left to the pots and under the mortar.” replied Pinkie, “Just like anywhere else, duh.”
“Wait, was it combat mortar or cooking mortar?”
“Cooking mortar, the other one’s in the pantry.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I said: Cooking mortar, the other one’s in the pantry.”
“I know what you said, but it still doesn’t make sense.”
“You’re the one who doesn’t make sense.” Pinkie retorter. “I wasn’t the one that asked if I left a mortar in the kitchen.”
Shield inhaled, his mouth ready to spit an argument. He exhaled. “I’m too sober to debate.”
.oOo.
A couple of minutes later Hawk Eye walked over to Twilight, an extra plastic controller on her, and she extended it toward her. “Wanna join in on the chaos?” she asked with a smile. “We’re about to start the 8-way Melee, no alliances allowed.”
“I don’t know, I’m not that good with video games.” Twilight answered as she turned around, trying to avoid looking at the controller. “And anyways, Rainbow and Pinkie are already filling up the two spare places.”
“Hey! I got an idea! VAnhoover versus Ponyville, four-man teams, six lives, End of the Line Stage! Loser team has to down half a keg. You girls in?” Shield shouted. “Or would you rather wuss out?”
“You’re on!” Rainbow shouted in reply. “C’mon Twil! We’re gonna teach these guys what happens when they mess with us!”
“I don’t know…”
“Don’t worry about sucking, you can be one of our meat shields!” Pinkie replied with a devilish grin. “That way Rainbow and I can take care of the rest and not have to worry about getting killed! And if we die before you we’ll just take your controllers and play for you.”
And so with the teams set; on one side it was Fire, Thunder, Shield and Crystal and on the other it was Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity and Twilight. Team Vanhoover quickly chose their fighters, all of them were an anthropomorphic wolf in sci-fi gear. Rainbow chose the female bounty hunter, Pinkie chose the fitness trainer and Rarity decided to play as a princess. “Ohh, pick Leeroy the spiky turtle!” “ Pinkie said to her hear. “He’s great for soaking up damage.”
The stage was soon chosen, a simple plain, and Shield immediately shouted: “Everyone! Attack pattern Feline Uber Carrot Kilo Zero Zero Feline!” The bell rang and the characters deployed. The pack of anthros bundled on one side kicking away anyone that dared remain. Once side by side they fired their blasters. At first Twilight didn’t see the logic, there was no flinching on their characters so they could still approach them. Twilight soon realized that her character was sluggish when compared to others.
The wolves soon flashed across the screen, and appeared right behind Twilight and sending her into the air. Shield jumped and kicked her up, followed by Fire slamming her to the side and knocking her off stage. And that pattern was repeated for her next three lives.
Just as Twilight was about to receive the last attack that would end her cooperation, until the speakers began sounding off an alarm and the screen turned red with a black stencil reading: CODE RED.
Shield swore under his breath and dropped his controller. Hawk was right behind him, holding out a tablet. He took it without a word, tapped a few things and silenced the sirens.
“Alright everyone listen up! The totems detected a large mass of humanoids headed here. By the metrics its estimated to be over a hundred and will get here less than half an hour. Rainbow Dash, I need you to perform basic recon. Just fly there and get a quick look. If you see or hear so much as a firework I want you to get back. Legionnaires, we’re gonna go to the basement for Battle Meditation and some boomsticks.”
.oOo.
Fifteen minutes later and the house was quiet once more. Shield Heart was armed with his birthday rifle, Riot, a falchion, Ash, Snow and his bracers. He was wearing his dragonscale vest, grey fatigues and his crimson duster, black boots and red greaves.
Count Fire Storm was holding a spear on his left hand, a stockless semi-automatic shotgun holstered to his waist and a pair of thick steel bracers around his arms. He was wearing a blue tunic with matching trousers, with a white kevlar vest and matching shoulder pads to cover his torso.
Moondancer held a black battle rifle on her arms, her silver rapier was holstered on her belt. Besides her dark blue cloak she wore little in the way of protection. She had a flak vest, flak greaves and a pair of high-heeled boots.
Count Thunder Storm was the bulkiest of the bunch, despite wearing the least amount of armor. He was wearing his wifebeater-jeans combo. Strapped to his back was both Blasto and his own grenade launcher. His chest had several canisters tied to his suspenders and his belt was lined with beer cans. His crotch had an unnatural bulge, but no one present dared asked why. His battleaxe was tied behind his hip, his hand cannons holstered to his thighs.
Cherry was dressed in an armored frilly black dress. Her scythe was tied to her back, a six-barreled minigun on her left arm.
Rainbow Dash opened the door from the backyard in between pants. Her clothing showed slight scorch marks and her polychromatic had was shorter than before.
Crystal brought her a glass of water, while Shield gripped his falchion. "So," he asked "what are we up against."
"I think they're orcs," Rainbow answered I between breaths. "But there were so many of them. I thought I was gonna die."
"I take it that they have guns." she nodded in reply. "Commissioners, to your basements."
The Commissioners left for the basement for five minutes, later appearing with guns drawn. Shield jumped up the stairs and took a deep breath: “All right boys and girls, today we have been graced by Ysmir with a battle. And not just any battle,we're gonna fight orcs. That means that this night we will kick a thousand asses back toward hell. And we will not rest until their heads rest on my front lawn. Now, I challenge Thunder to the Keg Kombat Challenge!”
“You misspelled combat.” Pinkie said, lowering her raised hand.
Shield paused for a second, mouth ready for a comeback, but he dismissed the idea.
“I accept the challenge!” Thunder replied, beating his chest with his fist. “You just watch, I’ll get more kills than all of you combined!”
“Then let’s meet our foe. Commissioners outside!” Shield cried, thrusting his arm toward the back door. The group marched, Cherry’s boots making the most noise as they tried to break the wooden tiles.
Twilight tried to follow, but Crystal's hand stopped her. "We're not going to be on the field."
"But this is my chance to show everyone that I can fight!"
"If you go there you'll only get in their way. If we go to the balcony you can snipe as many as you want and be safe." Crystal went for the basement and carried three guns, one in each hand and another one slung to her back. She tossed one at Rarity and another one at Twilight. “C’mon, we don’t have much time.”
“You know how to shoot?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, just like most Vanhoover citizens.” they ran up the stairs, and turned left. Two doors after Shield’s room they came to the glass sliding doors. They were soon behind the steel barricades behind the metal fences. “Ever heard of the citizen-soldier principle?”
“Hey! What about us? Rainbow Dash asked “Are we supposed to just sit here and scratch our heads?”
With a disgruntled sigh Crystal handed her a card. “If you wanna do something go get a rifle as soon as you can.”
.oOo.
The air outside was cool, brought by the constant gusts of wind emitted by the Everfree Forest. There was also an eerie silence about the forest, not even the crickets sang this night.
“Ready,” Shield roared, and the commissioners drew their weapons. From the forest emerged a green tide, seemingly endless, carrying a large assortment of weapons. The tide continued to move, and stopped when a large bulk materialized.
The monster was about three meters tall and Powerfully built. Every single muscle appeared to be seconds away from bursting. The jaw, large, squared, metallic and with a massive underbite, had a large collection gold-plated teeth. The figure was clad in a simple grey tunic, and matching trousers ripped from several directions. It wore the skull of a manticore on its right shoulder, a necklace made of teeth from every creature imaginable, a belt of skulls and a black pirate hat.
The left arm was not green or muscular. Instead it was a large block, about three times as thick as his arm should be, connected by cables held together by duct tape and chewed gum. It had three large blades coated in lightning, Two on the top and one on the bottom. The back of its right hand had a large block of rusted iron screwed in place with two barrels sticking out from one end.
“I’s Cap’n Killteef, an’ I’s gonna make this town my own.” The monster bellowed. “If ya want ya can gimme a good fight!” The army of orcs, dwarfed by the size of this ogre, chanted triumphantly. “Who’s yer Warboss?”
Shield Heart stepped forward and placed a finger on his throat. With a deep breath he channeled his magic. “I am Shield Heart, Commissioner of Equestria, Legionnaire and the bane of Warlord Skull Busta and his clan. I will give you one chance to stand down. Know that you will fight five legionnaires, experts in dealing with pests like you.”
Above and behind the Commissioners “Are you sure that he’s gonna surrender?” Twilight whispered to Crystal. “I thought ogres love killing people.”
“Exactly.” Crystal whispered back, tightening her grip on her rifle. “They also like to fight for glory and extremely easy to anger.”
“So his plan is to enrage a monster that gets stronger the angrier it gets?”
“Technically ogres get stronger by fighting. But yeah, that’s the plan.”
“He’s gonna get himself killed.”
“Good thing Bone Saw came to the hospital before we got here, or he’d be in trouble.”
“I don’t remember a doctor named Bone Saw.”
Crystal shook her head as if she were suddenly waking up. “I’m sorry. What?”
“I don’t remember Shield seeing a doctor called Bone Saw.”
“Then we should make sure Shield doesn’t get killed.”
“Yeah, that’s gonna be impossible.” Rainbow Dash snarked.
“Wait, if they are fighting ogres, shouldn’t they be wearing gas masks?” Rarity asked. “Shield told me that they release dangerous spores.”
“There’s just one ogre, so as long as they burn it to death they won’t have to worry about it.” Crystal answered as she looked through her scope.
“Are orc hordes usually this big?” Twilight asked.
“No. The last horde that they fought was supposed to be the remains of the fifth Canterlot battalion. Where did this ogre make so many of them?”
“Make? Ogres are supposed to be fungal, technically they can’t make more unless they die.” Twilight responded.
“Orcs aren’t the same as ogres. Whenever a person inhales a spore one of two things happen: if they’re weak they’ll explode. If they’re strong, then they’ll enter into a coma and wait for the spore to take control and turn his skin green.”
“So you’re saying that…”
“When we kill one of those we’re in fact putting them out of their misery? Yes, that’s why Shield loves killing them. As far as we care, it’s mercy killing.”
Twilight and Rarity looked at each other with worried looks. “So we’re just gonna stay up here?” Rainbow asked as she fiddled with the dial on her Parasprite SMG.
“Yeah, our job is to take care of the ones that manage to make it through them.”
“So we’ve got the most boring job of all?”
“And the safest. Last thing we need is having to tell Canterlot that you died in a skirmish. Trust me, you want to be here.”
.oOo.
The ogre chuckled. “Yous da Bloody ‘eart? Dis gonn’ be a good fight!” it raised its arm. “Boys, kill everyone but da red runt, ‘e’s mine.” The ogre turned to face Shield: “ I’s gonna git ‘is teeth an’ use his skull fo’ a groin guard.” And the green tide rushed toward Ponyville, making Caliban their first stop.
“Now this is what I call a birthday party!” Shield said as he raised his sword. “Let’s show these green beans how we do it downtown!” His friends roared in excitement, letting loose salvos from their weapons.