It took Pandora a moment to break out of her stupor. Her face morphed into a feral growl, and she grabbed up Cupcake in one paw.
“We’re going after them.” She declared, readying her other to snap.
“Boss, I--” Cupcake began, before the world flashed to one of black steel and roaring engines. “--have absolutely no say in what we’re going to do.”
Around them, heavy steel girders laced a large cylindrical room. Circular portholes opened out onto the rapidly shrinking fields of the Crystal Empire, the entire horizon going at a slant as the ship began to ascend. Pandora quickly scanned the room, only sparing a moment to grab Cupcake as she started to slide down the floor.
“Well, well, well, look who joined the party.” From a door at the far end of the room, the black-maned mare appeared, though she looked different than she had before. Gone was any hint of demure self-control, replaced by an almost feral gleam in her eyes. “And here I was, getting bored.”
“You!” Pandora hissed, setting Cupcake on a girder, and snapping her squeaky warhammer back into existence. “You’ve got a lot to answer for.”
“And you,” the mare grinned, slapping a button on the wall beside her, “have a long way to fall.”
Behind them, a low buzz droned out, audible even over the thundering engines. The back of the room began to open up, revealing the now distant land of Equestria below, laid out like the world’s most accurate map. For a moment, everyone present simply stared at the sight, before the black-maned mare glanced behind her.
“Is this thing broken?” she grumbled, giving a kick to something in the room she’d come from. “Why aren’t you being sucked into the vacuum of space?”
“The what of space?” Pandora and Cupcake shared a glance. “There’s no vacuum in space.”
“Of course there’s a vacuum in space,” the mare bit back. “We should have already cleared the mesosphere, and you should have been decompressed straight into freefall!”
“Moron. If there was a vacuum in space, how would the moon creatures survive?” Pandora grinned smugly as the mare gawked. There were advantages to being Twilight’s kid.
“I… just…” The mare shook herself. “I hate this place. New plan.” One of her wings reached beside the doorway, and pulled out a strange device that crackled with luminescent blue energy. “Die.”
“Look out!” Pandora grabbed Cupcake out of the way just as a blaze of searing blue melted away the girder she’d been on. Another dozen shots streamed past the pair, Pandora contorting wildly to dodge each and every one. As the last fired, the device let out a searing gust of blue from a set of vents in its side, prompting the mare to curse and drop it, letting it tumble out the back of the ship.
“Hated that thing anyway,” she grumbled, flaring her wings with a savage grin. “Call me a hands on girl.”
“Actually--” Pandora smirked as the mare leaped at her. A quick snap of her paw conjured a massive strip of fly-paper between them, which the mare smacked into with a sound whap! Disoriented and tangled, she could only flail and curse as she tumbled right out the rear of the ship. “--I’ll call you later.” Pandora then whipped out a pair of sunglasses, and placed them on her nose.
“Yeaaaahhhhhhh,” Cupcake deadpanned. “Boss, can we save Skyla now?”
“If we must,” Pandora sighed, carrying Cupcake along as they explored the ship.
There really wasn’t much to explore. Most of the ship consisted of the chamber they’d been in, along with a few boxes strapped securely to the sides. The room at the head seemed to be some sort of control room, similar to what an airship would have. Pandora began to reach out for a leaver, before Cupcake cleared her throat.
“Boss, when did you learn to fly?” She asked.
“Pffft, can’t be that hard. Besides, I’ll save you if we crash.” She started reaching for the controls again.
“And Skyla?” Cupcake asked.
“...hmph.” Pandora folded her arms, and stalked back into the cargo hold. “Fine. I’ll find her, then we can crash.”
“Wonderful idea, sir.” Cupcake watched as Pandora surveyed the first box. After a moment, she snapped her paw and produced a jackhammer and hardhat, bracing the blade against one of the seams. What followed next was a din to make even the immortal DJ P0n3 wince in agony. It was also completely useless.
“Damn, what did they make these out of?” Pandora snapped her paw again, this time opting for a blowtorch and welder’s mask. Once more, she went at it to no effect. “Maybe a concrete saw? I’m thinking concrete saw.”
While Pandora occupied herself with increasing degrees of effort, Cupcake took the chance to stare out the windows. By now, the curve of Equestria was visible, the world below curving like a globe rather than a flat surface. Around them, the naked stars shone clear as night, even as the sun began to peak over the curve of the world. And that’s when Cupcake saw it.
“Uh, boss. You should see this.” Ahead of them, a rectangle of light sat floating in space, growing larger as they approached.
“What?” Pandora stuck her now smouldering head in, wisps of smoke curling from her eyebrows as they climbed in surprise. “Well that’s new.”
As they watched, the ship flew itself into the rectangle. What lay on the other side was a vista beyond description. Before them, a small sun shone within the interior of what could only be described as an inverted sphere. Where one would have expected the sky to be, there instead ran endless fields and even cities, all thriving beneath the light of the tiny star at its heart.
“Woaaaaaah.” The two intoned at once.
Under no direction of their own, the ship carried on its own course, slanting to race along the surface of the world-sphere. This close, it was clear that the cities below them formed a bizarre patchwork of styles. Some shone with gleaming steel and flowing curves, while others belched black smoke from towers of jagged scrap. Still others seemed made from rivers of light itself, flowing into intricate designs of impossible beauty.
One shape in particular, however, drew their attention. Dead ahead, a massive spire rose up from the world, its monolithic edifice drinking in all light. It’s lines were clean and impossibly square, until even looking at it almost seem to hurt one’s eyes. Pandora, naturally, pulled a face.
“Gah, how… orderly. Of course this is where we’d be headed.” She almost reached for the controls again, before Cupcake cleared her throat. “Right, Skyla. Always Skyla.”
Slowly, the ship flew further into the impossibly symmetric interior of the tower, settling inside a hanger so perfectly fitted to the scale of the ship that its wings brushed the walls by the barest margin. The moment it slid to a halt, a series of brilliant white cubes flitted in the back, quickly arraying themselves around the boxes, and beginning to lift them out.
“Hold up!” Pandora dashed out, Cupcake in tow as the cubes made off with the boxes.
Each one was deposited just outside, where a large, rectangular claw systematically popped the tops off each. Moving in order, it extracted various items from within, tugging out everything from random junk to royal artifacts before setting each and every item atop its own floating rectangle. The entire affair proceeded at a clockwork pace that made Pandora’s claws itch, at least until the claw dove down and pulled Skyla’s limp form from the last crate. “I’ll be taking that!”
“Boss, wai--” Cupcake found her warning cut short as a flight of cubes suddenly bound her by her hooves and waist, squeezing tight.
“What is it Cup--Cupcake!” Pandora nearly dropped Skyla where she stood, her other paw wielding an umbrella to fend off the now decidedly persistent claw as it struggled to regain control of its cargo.
“I’m okay, boss!” Cupcake squirmed about even as more cubes flocked to her and lifted her up, beginning to carry her off. “Save the princess first!”
“Oh, buck no.” Pandora immediately released Skyla, leaving the claw to put her on her own platform as though nothing had happened. Instead, she took off after the rapidly retreating Cupcake, a snap of her paw leaving her brandishing a hefty stick of butter. “I’ve got this!”
“Boss, I don’t thin--” Whatever else Cupcake was going to say was drowned out as she got smacked with the massive butter stick. Slathered in slippery gooeyness, Pandora immediately grabbed her hooves, pulling her out from the cubes with an audible sluuuuurk. Cupcake could only blink for a moment. “I didn’t think that would work.”
“And that’s why I’m the boss.” Pandora boasted proudly, before another flight of cubes swept past and engulfed Cupcake. “Hey! I was winning here!”
“ILLOGICAL.” Boomed a massive, buzzing voice. “YOUR CHANCES OF VICTORY ARE ZERO.”
“Shows what you know!” Pandora shouted at the air, already racing after her friend. “You can’t count to one hundred percent without two zeros, and that’s us!”
“Inspiring stuff, boss,” Cupcake mumbled through her prison.
“Okay, so it needs work.” Pandora hopped atop the cube cloud, then snapped her paw to produce a massive backpack vacuum. “I’ll show you vacuums in space!” Kicking it into overdrive, she started to suck up all the little cubes, rapidly freeing Cupcake from the swarm, only for the vacuum to immediately suck up her mane and get stuck on her head. “Oop, sorry.”
“Nothing I’m not used to, boss,” Cupcake said as Pandora pulled the vacuum off her with a pop.
“COUNTERMEASURES INEFFECTIVE.” A massive cube raced past, immediately slamming into Cupcake and punting her down a distant hallway. “ESCALATING RESPONSE.”
“Lay off her!” Pandora shouted, frantically taking off after the still airborn Cupcake. “Pick on somepony your own size!”
“ILLOGICAL. A PONY MY SIZE WOULD BE UNABLE TO SUPPORT ITS OWN WEIGHT.” The voice replied.
“What is with everypony today?” Pandora grumbled as she tossed a massive flan cake ahead of Cupcake, leaving her to land with a messy but survivable splat. “Seriously, lay off!”
“VERNACULAR INTERPRETATION. I CANNOT DESIST PENDING OUTSTANDING OBJECTIVES. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU DESIST IN MY STEAD.” The floor suddenly dropped away, leaving Cupcake to plunge into unknown depths. “LOGIC DICTATES THAT THE OPTIMAL SOLUTION IS THROUGH PROVIDING YOU WITH A SUPERIOR OBJECTIVE TO PURSUE.”
“You sound like my mom after a barrel of cider!” Pandora slipped down the shaft that had opened up, following the sound of Cupcake’s sliding as the shaft began to tilt. She snapped her paw and whipped up a nice layer of snow and associated snowboard with which to ride down after Cupcake. “Simple words!”
“I DESIRE YOUR ABSENCE. THIS CAN BE DONE BY MAKING YOUR FRIEND ABSENT.” At that moment, the shaft emptied out into open air, leaving Cupcake sailing through the sky like a missile, and Pandora shredding a sick 720 flipkick after her.
“This isn’t over!” Pandora shouted to the sky, airbording after Cupcake in a deadly race with the ground.
“I really hope not, boss!” Cupcake managed to shout back over the rushing wind. “I was really looking forwards to catering your next birthday!”
“Oh, you’re going to cater my birthday,” Pandora growled, narrowing her eyes as she dove down to get closer. Around them, buildings began to rush fast, their descent carrying them down into the much lower city that sprawled around the black tower. In contrast to its imposing edifice, the buildings rushing up to meet them seemed almost normal as they emerged from a gentle sea of fog. It was a measure of how close they cut it that Pandora’s paws wrapped around Cupcake just as the swirling mists swallowed them up.
Snap! SPLUUUURRRRRRRRT!
“You know,” Cupcake mumbled through a mouthful of flan, “I don’t think I like this dessert anymore.”
“Beats concrete,” Pandora muttered, massaging her paw as she extricated both of them from their messy landing pad. “I’m gonna start getting calluses if this keeps up.”
“Hey, boss?” Cupcake trotted a short distance away, to where a building loomed from the foggy soup around them. “Does this place seem… familiar?”
“What are you… talking… about?” Pandora found her own words trailing off. Before them stood none other than Sugarcube Corner itself, plus maybe thirty years of neglect. Red rust and grime clung to the corners, and the windows were dark with dirt. Even the paint seemed faded, worn, and forgotten. Beside it, other staples of Ponyville stood swaddled in darkness and decay, the skeletal shadow of Golden Oaks itself bringing a chill to Pandora’s heart.
“Boss,” Cupcake said, “I think there’s something seriously wrong with this place.”