3/14/2200
Entry 123
It’s hard to go to sleep when you can hear crying in the night. I didn’t get much sleep last night and I don’t think my roommate did either. I didn’t confront him about it. I asked him instead about how his latest novel was going. We spoke for a while about the characters, but we ended up having a long discussion about the nature of love and how it comes in many forms. He’s still somewhat of a bigot too, which surprised me because he said that certain people should not publicly show their love, that they should keep it to themselves, even if they are married.
Huh. My roommate is a bigot who wants to be friends. Isn’t that something? Well I can be his friend, but only out of pity. I just can’t believe that he still thinks that way! How can you expect somepony to care for you if you’re so disgusted with them you can’t even bear to watch them do the most normal of things? What about all of his books, his time reading, and his effort? Was it for nothing?
3/30/2200
Entry 125
I thought he could be different from my parents. From my old landlord. I should have seen the signs that he wouldn’t be. And yet he is different. He’s well-read on the issue at hoof. It’s so much more different than the disapproval of my parents or the indifference of my classmates from college. He has all of that knowledge and he’s still having a hard time figuring things out. If he’s really that confused, I guess pity really is the reason I’m still friends with him. The weirdest thing is that he does seem genuinely happy when we spend time together.
When he made his first potion a while ago, the concoction blew up in his face. I thought he would be furious, but he was grinning like a foal in a candy store. I remember when my first potion blew up in my face—my parents were fuming as they scrubbed the gunk off the ceiling for the good part of a Saturday afternoon while I spent it grounded. His parents seem to be the stricter type though. I doubt they would have let him even have an alchemy set or any toys, but he does speak fondly of them. At least they took him on vacations like camping trips. According to him, he’s gone camping many times already, but before he met me, he couldn’t even pitch a tent! It’s just so funny to see him do something so normal. When he first found out about me, I thought he’d be this frothing, seething pit of hate that would only seek to make my life miserable, yet he’s normal at times.
4/23/2200
Entry 131
Alex surprised me. Not once have I ever heard an apology from anyone—it was nice to hear. It was the first thing he said to me when he got back from his camping trip yesterday. I said thank you and I asked him if he had any trouble with the stakes this time. He laughed, said that he didn't have any trouble, and it was because of me that he knows better now. Heh. Then he asked me how I could even tie off the ropes with my hooves. Good question! I told him the answer that my parents told me: magic. No seriously, he just couldn’t imagine not being able to touch things with your forelegs until somepony taught you to use the grip magic everypony has. He was like, but why do you ponies still use your mouths to hold things then? I told him it was out of convenience because your mouth is usually closer to things than your forehooves are. Then he went silent for a bit and after a while said to me that he learned something new today, thanking me for it. You’re welcome. Again.
5/23/2200
Entry 139
I know why pegasi make their homes in the sky. Not because they can, but because they want to! Even if it is temporary, even if it is just at the height of trees, flight is a gift that I appreciate more and more as I soar. I can’t believe I never thought to do this before. I’m getting better at this too, since I came up with a new potion to make my spell wings tougher and stronger—they’re not going to melt in the sun anymore. No more fear. All you need to do is grab your worries, pack them up in a box, and leave them behind as you take off.
That’s how you become lighter than air. It’s how you feel lighter than air. It’s how Alex has been able to keep up with me despite my wings as we fly kites. He’s very light on his legs. Of course, that didn’t help us any when we both crashed into that tree. I know he was trying to keep his kite away from me as I started chasing it, but he was staring at me the entire time with a smile. So he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. And I was focused on the sky and the kite. After he righted himself and helped me out of the tree, we just sat down and laughed.
6/1/2200
Entry 143
I surprised Alex today. The bicycle that shipped from that specialty shop in Canterlot finally got here! Now, I didn’t know how to ride a bicycle until today, but I convinced Alex to teach me when I showed him the one I bought. After today, I can confidently say that I still don’t know how to ride a bicycle. At least he warned me about falling off repeatedly; he’d better be right that my bruised rump is part of the learning process. It just takes practice he said. I smiled back and told him I’d get it down soon. As an apology for my rump, he offered to pay for my lunch, but I didn’t want him to feel sorry for taking the time to teach me something new. Instead, we just had lunch together at home.
We started on about the weather and how the pegasi should add more rainstorms every now and then. He thinks the serenity of the thunder and lightning complement the pitter-patter of the rain. When I asked him if that should be the other way around, he admitted he just likes the sound of thunder. During his camping trip, it rained for a few days, so I wondered if he liked that too. After, he mentioned to me he likes it because it’s easier to think for him in the rain. It helped him apologize to me according to him.
7/14/2200
Entry 150
Found a book club that just started up in the beginning of this month. I couldn’t focus on any of the discussion, and only got the time and place the next meeting would be. Alex is looking terrible. He denied anything was wrong when I confronted him and I’m not sure what to do if he won’t tell me anything. I began to wonder if I did anything to upset him, but when I said sorry, his eyes glistened and he choked out that I have nothing to be sorry for. I haven’t seen him so broken up since a few moons back. Are his friends still giving him grief? Is he feeling guilty about something? Did something bad happen to him? Not knowing is killing me! When I tried to get him to fly kites with me, or go bicycling, or work on some potions, he brushed me off saying that today was just an off day for him. It's not just that.
8/23/2200
Entry 157
He cried again. I still don’t know what’s going on and he still won’t tell me. But I’ll be there for him. I am his friend.
9/10/2200
Entry 163
Alex seems happier now, so that’s good, but his mood only seems to brighten up when I’m in the same room as he is because of how he smiles. It seems a little fake to be honest. I don’t want to push it though. Whatever it is, he’s trying to keep it a secret from me. I’m not sure if waiting is the best thing to do here, but I guess it’s all I can do. He did teach me that patience yields good things. I’m glad I was patient with him. I’ve had plenty of times where my frustrations got the better of me, and sometimes they almost won out. But I just can’t forget the moments where we had … when there was clarity. When I just forgot about all my worries and shelved them away in a box. I know he did the same in those moments.
I hope he’ll tell me eventually.