Chapter 116
"So, you are paying, right?" Grace asked as we all trotted towards the spa.
"Yes, I got this covered." I said with a grin.
Now, you may ve wondering where I get my money, right? Well, since I lost my job, my good friend Fred has been sending me a large amount of bits from time to time. Gotta love that guy.
When we reached the door, I pushed it open and strolled in, followed by Grace and Tovy.
"Pfft, nice place." Grace said as she glanced around.
I looked over to the waiting area to see Twilight and her mother.
Oh good, they're already here. Now we don't have to wait for them.
Twilight looled up from her magazine and smiled happily, "Hey Lance! Glad to see you've finally decided to join us..." She then saw the cuts and small bruises on my face, "What happened to you?!"
I smiled sheepishly, "I was in a boxing match... and lost."
She facehoofed, "Really Lance?" She then chuckled, "A boxing match? You'll do anything, won't you?"
I smirked, "Anything and everything. I'll always try something at least once."
Grace cleared her throat, "I would like to get this started."
I looked at her and rolled my eyes, "One minute." I then turned to Aloe... or is it Lotus? Honestly, I can't tell them apart... because I don't know who is who, "Hey, could we get the same thing Rarity usually gets?"
Aloe or Lotus looked up and smiled, "Yes you can! Follow me!"
We all followed her into the back where she pointed to some ropes, "Just slip those on and get in the steam room."
After everyone had on a robe, mine was too short, we walked into the steam room.
I jumped up on a bench and relaxed, Twilight sat down on my right, and.... Tovy sat down on my left. Now, I'm uncomfortable.
Everyone else just sat where ever they wanted.
Aloe/Lotus walked in and jumped behind the hot stones. She picked up a bucket and poured a little on the rocks. The room instantly filled with hot steam.
After a few minutes, I began to completely relax.
[Ahh yeah, this is great!]
<This is so refreshing, we need to do this more often.>
We stayed in there for five minutes before Aloe/Lotus jumped off the bench and motioned for us to get up.
Next up was facials, and let me tell you. Guys getting facials is just strange. But, I did it.
When Aloe/Lotus rubbed it onto my face, I almost laughed. But, when she put the cucumbers on my eyes, I felt tired. Yeah, I need more sleep at night, plus, I just got out of boxing match, so you can't hold anything against me!
"Oh, this is relaxing." I heard Velvet say from the spot next to me.
"I agree with ya on that!" Grace said.
"Meh, could be better." I said as I stuck my tongue out and pulled one of the cucumber slices into my mouth.
As I chewed, I began to taste the mask they had put on... and let me tell you this, that stuff taste like crap! I spit it out and whipped my tongue clean of the horrible taste.
"Don't eat the cream." Aloe/Lotus chimed as she trotted past me.
I chuckled and sat back and put my hooves behind my head.
Then, being as stupid as I am, I stuck my tongue out and pulled in the other cucumber slice, only to spit it out a second later.
As I sat there, I saw the two spa ponies working on Twilight's and her mothers horns.
I don't get it, why do thy file them?
After a few minutes, Lotus, Aloe, and another pony came in and guided everyone onto their stomachs. They then began to massage their backs. Either by rubbing or hitting.
Tovy was next to me getting his back beat by a tough looking mare, and I have to say this. I felt sorry for the little guy. The mare was beating the crap out of his back like he was a large stallion.
Next, she trotted over to me and told me to get on my stomach.
Once I was down, she began to beat the living hell out of my back.
[What the fuck?! This isn't relaxing at all!]
<Make it stop! Please, just make it stop!>
When she finally finished with me, she moved left the room and allowed Aloe and Lotus to get the others.
Oh man! My back feels like crap!
Thankfully, next up was a mud bath.
Before I got in, I looked at Twilight and smirked, "Remember this morning?"
She rolled her eyes, "Don't remind me."
While everyone else climbed down into the mud gently, I just stood on my hind legs and held my forelegs in the air. I then fell back, hitting the mud with a loud splat.
"Cute." Somepony said.
I looked over at the other mud pit to see Tovy, smiling.
[GAY!]
<We know that already.>
[Still... he called us cute, and we are not cute! We're a fucking sexy beast!]
I ignored Tovy's comment and just relaxed in the mud on my back.
A little side note for you. Don't lay on your back in a pit of mud, because you're more than likely going to sink.
I became so relaxed, I didn't notice when I began to sink downward. By time I noticed, I was already resting on the bottom.
I instanly freaked out and pushed myself upward, breaking through the top and slinking mud everywhere.
[We can't die idiot, no need to freak out like that.]
{You try being trapped in a suffocating mud pit!}
Grace laughed at me and shook her head, "What? Can't take a little mud?"
I chuckled and laid back, "Shut up Grace."
After the mud pits, we moved on to something that I think was a hoof washing? I have no idea. All it involved was all of us standing in a bath of soapy water.
I looked down at it and raised an eyebrow, "What's the purpose of this?"
Aloe/Lotus smiled, "To prepare your hooves for a pedicure."
"Oh... yay, pedicure." I have no pride left to lose.
After the hoof baths, we moved to a few chairs, where they proceeded to file down our hooves.
I sat there watching them work on the others, not very enthusiastic about my turn.
When Aloe/Lotus came to me and sat down, I backed up slightly. Now I know how Rainbow Dash felt.
She moved forward again, and I again backed up.
She sighed and glared at me.
I smiled sheepishly.
She tried again, and this time I at least let her touch my hoof before I jumped out of the chair and into the air.
Yeah, I'm not getting a pedicure.
Later, they began to work on our manes, setting them to the ways we wanted, or the ways they saw fit.
I laughed at Tovy's hair style, but when it came time for me, I again panicked.
"Oh no, it's fine! You don't have to work on my hair." I said while waving my hooves.
Aloe/Lotus glared.
I shook my head and ran over to my saddle bags, "Here! Take the money! But I'm outta here!" I tossed the bag of bits on the counter and threw on my saddlebags.
I then looked at the others, "Sorry guys, gotta run!"
"Be home before dinner." Twilight said as she allowed herself to relax.
"See ya." Grace said, half asleep.
"I'm coming!" Tovy yelled as he messed his mane back up and jumped off the table.
Oh come on!
Be nice Lance, he may be gay, but he's still a nice guy.
I sighed and walked out of the spa, followed my Tovy.
But, as I walked out, I ran into somepony I had not expected.
I rebounded off the solidly build stallion and stumbled back a few feet before Tovy caught me... yeah...
I regained my composer and smiled, "Hey Barehoof, what brings you to Ponyville?"
He looked at me with desperate eyes, "I got to get a few things! Fast!"
"What's the hurry?" I said with a chuckle.
He tried to push past me, "Something very important back at the house! Dream come true! I have to get in there! PLEASE MOVE!"
I chuckled, and continued to block his path, "What's a dream come true?"
He knocked me to the side, "LOVE!"
I laughed and allowed him to run past me, but as he enter, his saddlebags hit the door frame and knocked out a tube of lotion.
"Oh, he dropped his lotion." Tovy said, stating the obvious.
I trotted over and picked it, and then smirked, "Hey Tovy, wanna meet my mom?"
"Sure!" He said excitedly.
<Lance, what are you planning?>
{I'm going to go to my moms house, and get in on what ever they're doing.}
<Why?>
{I want to mess with them.}
[BWAHAHAHA! That a boy Lance!]
I smiled and put the lotion in my mouth, "Come Tovy! We ride at dawn!"
"What?" He said as he cocked his head.
I chuckled and put my hoof on his shoulder, preparing to teleport.
He blushed at the contact, which almost made me jump back.
*BZZZT*
We both suddenly appeared at the door to my mom's house.
I looked at Tovy and smirked, "Stay behind me."
He smiled happily, "I WILL!"
<I don't feel comfortable with him behind us.>
[Yeah, he's going to check out our nice bod!]
{Will you two shut up!}
I opened the door and saw a lot of rose petals leading down the hall. I know I've seen this somewhere before.
I walked down the hall, following the petals. The petals lead us up a stair case and down another hall. They turned off to the side and went into a door that was slightly open.
I raised an eyebrow and walked forward. Before I reached the door, my hoof ran into a wire, which snapped upon contact. Seconds later, music began to pour from the room.
I stepped up to the door and pushed it open. I the walked in and glanced around. There were candles all around the room, giving it a peaceful look.
But then, my eyes rested on the bed, and my eyes went wide with shock.
My mom was on the bed, legs spread out, exposing herself to the world. There was a blindfold over here eyes, and she was sitting in a sexual position, rubbing her body.
"Mmmmm, I've been waiting for you to get back." She said in a sexy voice.
The tube of lotion fell out of my mouth and I looked down. Again, I reeled in shock. The tube wasn't lotion... it was lube!
"Come here big boy and stick it in me!" She yelled across the room at me.
"MOM?!" I yelled in complete horror.
She ripped the blind fold off and screamed. She then pulled the covers over herself, "LANCE GREENFIELD!"
My right eye twitched, "I've seen things no man should see..." I turned to Tovy, "Get me out of here."
He cocked his head, "Why? Can't you walk out?"
"Nope." I said before my eyes rolled up in the back of my head. I then collapsed on the floor. Yes, I fainted.
[AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET THE MIND BLEACH!]
<KILL ME! KILL ME PLEASE!]
[WE SAW HER PUSSY! WE SAW OUR MOMS PUSSY! KILL US!]
{.....}
[LANCE! WHY?!]
{.... I didn't know... can I please dig my eyes out with a spoon?}
<[PLEASE DO!]>