Pinkie Pie's Fourth-Wall Breaking Variety Show

by Alex Warlorn


Pinkie Pie 4th Wall Breaking Variety Show Recovery Part 4

While the apple farmer was still somewhat shaken, the barista managed to sidle up next to her, having returned to the studio, but Trixie had not.

"Rather sobering, isn't it?" His question caused her to to face him, minor confusion displayed on her face. "Knowing the things that didn't happen."

Her eyes widened slightly as the wolf pup growled a bit, but he took no action.

"You know?"

The pegasus flared his wings in the species specific variant of a shrug. "I know a lot of things I shouldn't, it's why I expect him and I-" he nodded in the general direction of the wolf pup "-will cross paths outside of this studio some day."

"That would bother most ponies," Applejack pointed out.

"Most ponies don't have my point of view," Coffee Swirl countered. "Anyway, I'm just making you an offer: I know a lot of the same things you know, and I've been dealing with it for a while now. If it ever starts grating on your sanity, I'm available to talk. 'Cruel comes by the shop every day at noon anyway, she could probably use the company while I work."

Applejack considered the offer. "Ah don' much care fer coffee, ya know..."

Swirl wing-shrugged again. "Not saying you have to, but the offer's there if you want it. Now, I'd better go before he tries to erase me from existence." He turned form the earth pony and made his way back over to the Flutters, he was rather enjoying spending more time with them.
-

"I wish he wouldn't joke about that," The Blank wolf said startling AJ.

"What why?" Applejack said.

"Cause despite his ways I do enjoy his company, and my duty is not something one should joke about, it is very stressful," Blank wolf said as he made to leave but stop as he said "Chose a young world."

"What?"

"The baby foal, the best place for her would be a young world. Not everything would be establish as of yet, which mean there would be NO version of me as of yet. I'm saying this because despite your thoughts on me, I do want that child to be safe," Blank wolf said as he left.


"Ya know, I'm curious, how do chimera work?" Rainbow dash spoke

"You're asking that now in a body of a griffin?" Twilight replied annoyed.

"No I mean a Chimera chimera. you know having three heads and all that, I mean what if one head swing that way and the other two don't," Rainbow dash said "And according to AJ one still attack ponies yet also want apple pie, what's up with that?"

"Okay first off with sexuality, that rarely happens in the chimera community. Two, despite having a big cat head and a snakehead slash tail, the remaining head is still a goat which is herbivore thus chimera are all omnivore" Twilight said. "Anything else."

"Yeah, why didn't you zap me with that spell when you had a chance during the explanation," Dash said as she flew away. Twilight's eye twitch as she slapped her forehead as Applejack came walking towards them.
-
"Hey Twilight, Ah have something to talk to you about it..."

"If it's about three-headed chimera or shapeshifting spell forget it! I have a bad enough headache cause of those two subjects as it is," Twilight said.

"No nothing like that, it just Ah think Ah have a plan that can help us with Midnight," Applejack said.

"You do, what is it?" Twilight asked, forgetting about her headache for a moment. Applejack began to explain it to twilight.

"I see.... well in theory it could work, but we might have to add a modification to the what-if machine, to make sure the world is safe-safe, don't want to send her to a world that looks safe yet isn't," Twilight said.

"Okay good." Applejack said, noticing RD she asked "So uhh... you want me to lasso her down?"

"Nah, I'm waiting till she get tired, and when she does, wham. back to being regular Rainbow Dash, but right now I have a machine to modify!" Twilight said as she left the room.

Twilight is seen tinkering with the machine a bit.
-
A view from the what if machine whirled to life as it show images of the rainbow of darkness, standing in front of it was a strange pony none of the mane six seen before glaring at Celestia.

"Sunset stop this now, you don't know what power your wielding can do."

"Oh I know what it does. And it will give me what should have been mine, the thing you deny me."

"I denied you it to PROTECT you, if you were to awaken with that negativety in you, your transformation will be monstrous. Please listen to me!"

Sunset seem hesitant for a moment, as if she was listening to Celestia word before her face harden. "You're lying!"

"Sunset please-"

"No, i am tired of listening of your lies belove teacher." Sunset spat the word like venom making Celestia flinched. "It's time i take my destiny with my two hands." The rainbow darkness swirled around her.

"Sunset no!" Celestia ssaid as she ran forward but was too late. Sunset screamed in agony in as she can feel a transformation occurring.

AJ said looking at the image, "I'm pretty sure that world isn't safe."

Rarity Stone shook her head, "I agree . . . have you girls considered she was put on YOUR front step for a REASON?"
-
Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof. “Maybe it’s time we found the pony who left Midnight here and asked. This machine certainly isn’t getting us anywhere.”

“However are we going to do that?” asked their Rarity.

Twilight vanished with a pop of teleportation, then reappeared with a heavy tome, already flipping through the pages with her telekinesis. “I know it was in this book somewhere... Yes! The Roots spell! This will conjure a magic light that will lead us straight to her closest relative, within a reasonable distance.”

“Should we really use that?” asked Fluttershy, stammering a bit. “What if she doesn’t want to be found?”

“We’re kind of still filming here, too,” Pinkie piped up, bouncing over. “It’s not like we’re going to find the missing mom here in the studio, right?”

{ The Half-Lights looked at each other awkwardly. }

“What are you all so worried about?” said Twilight. “Isn’t it better to know? How will not knowing help anything?”

The Blank Wolf Pup growled faintly. Applejack grimaced, but said, “If you think so, Twilight.”

Twilight leaned over Midnight’s basket, eyes closed, and concentrated. A soft white globe formed at the tip of her horn. Baby Midnight waved her hooves at it, as if it was a toy hanging over a playpen. Finally, the spell finished, and the globe floated into the air, hovering on its own.

Everypony waited.

“So, now what?” said Coffee Swirl.

Twilight frowned. “I don’t understand. Maybe I didn’t cast it right.” She trotted back over to the spellbook, and the globe followed her, bobbing lazily through in the air.

Spike gawked. “Twilight, look!”

She spun around, gasped. “What? That’s impossible...”

Rainbow Dash hovered beside her, grinning naughtily. “Ooh, does Twilight have a secret coltfriend she isn’t telling us about?”

“What?! No! How could I keep something like that from you, my closest friends?” She took a moment to glare at the griffon right beside her, and blasted her good with the Reversal spell.

Rarity Stone raised a hoof. “I didn’t want to say so before, but there’s definitely a resemblance.”

Fluttershy said, “Are you sure you don’t have any brothers or sisters you don’t know about?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I don’t have any..." The unicorn stumbled, eyes unfocused. "I... I’m pretty sure that... no, I definitely don’t have... No, of course I don’t!”

Applejack frowned thoughtfully, then started forward, trying to catch Twilight’s eyes... but the Blank Wolf Pup grabbed hold of one of her hooves, shaking his head.

Fluttercruel put in, “With all the spells that Twilight messes around with, actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if she did accidentally clone herself somehow.”

A still-smoldering pony Rainbow Dash pried herself up from the floor. “And, Twilight freaks out in three, two, one…”

“Omigosh! Omigosh, omigosh!”

“Called it!”
-

Unseen by the others, Pinkie Pie was meddling with the What-If machine, pressing buttons and flipping switches.

"There's gotta be someplace where we can find a home for that filly," she muttered. She saw a world where Queen Celestia and Luna reigned over a dark and cruel Ponyville; one where she and her friends welcomed sentient wolves, descendants of Fenris Sun-and-Moon Slayer, back into equine civilization; one where they were all dragons and Spike was a pony, and still had a crush on Rarity...

Then she shot upright, her mane quivering, as a literal light-bulb flashed into being above her head. Breaking out a notebook labeled 'My Little Pony G1' she began re-tuning the machine.

"Why didn't I think of this in the first place?" Carefully, she trotted over and picked up the smiling foal before returning to the machine.

"Pinkie?" Twilight looked at her friend and her eyes went wide. The ball of light above her head seemed to glow brighter as well. "Pinkie, no! What are you doing?"

Pinkie grinned at her. Behind her the machine began throwing sparks and emitting clouds of rainbow-colored smoke.

"I'm helping Midnight, of course!" Pinkie picked the foal up and turned to a hole in reality. Beyond it to their surprise the ponies saw a gold-haired human. One they recognized. Pinkie grinned upon seeing her.

"Hi, Megan! Do you think Paradise Estates has room for one more little filly?"

"What?" The girl said. "Hey, who are you? And sure we have room, but..." Her arms wrapped around the laughing unicorn foal.

"Pinkie, no!" Twilight galloped forward. She leapt at the hole between universes. "There has to be a better way then this -- YOW!" Twilight shrieked the last as she shot through the hole to land atop Megan. Twilight shook her head, looked, and gave a shriek as the hole closed, trapping Twilight centuries in the past.

Pinkie gave her shocked friends an embarrassed look.

"Heh-heh. Whoops?"
-
Pinkie Pie declared, "It's okay! I just need to hit the Doctor over the head with a flying pan, steal the keys to his time machine again, go back in time, get Twilight back from the past, throw Doctor Whooves a 'sorry I stole your time machine again' party, and everything will be right as rain right? And the filly who we've just learned has Twilight Sparkle as her closest living relative, and is therefore her FAMILY, all the way in the past."

"Pinkie," AJ said, "Don't ya think learnin' she and Twili' are blood kinda changes things? I mean, dangit, if you and me turned out to be related, Ah sure as hay wouldn't sweep ya under the rug."

Rarity Stone said, "I have to agree, family is important, they're a gift, not a burden."

Rarity Belle hugged her, "That is something I think we can both agree on. And proves that we're both Rarity at our core."

"Can't anything be simple?" Swirl groaned. The Flutters hugged him.

"Yeah she can make me a griffin again."

"Why do you want to be a griffin so bad?" Spike asked.

"It, MIGHT have something to do with better understanding what makes a friend tick."

"TRIXIE HAS RETURNED AND .. . Where is Twilight Sparkle? And were there two Rarities and a baby bite gumming on normal Spike's tail when Trixie left? Trixie's head feels fuzzy."
-
Rainbow Dash grinned craftily, sensing an opportunity. "Hey, Trixie! Twilight said there no way you could possibly reverse the Reversal spell she cast on me, even with an Element of Magic."

Trixie blinked. "What?! What nonsense. Of course the Great and Powerful Trixie can do that!" Her magical bolt caught Rainbow Dash in midair, making the pegasus whirl in place, then unfurl her wings and rake the air with her talons dramatically, a griffon once again. "Success! ... Why is everypony looking at Trixie like that?"

"Ooh, me next!" exclaimed Spike, dashing forward.

Rarity Belle caught him with her telekinesis. "This really isn't the time. We have to get Twilight back."

"Well, that's easy, right?" said Spike, dangling upside-down. "Pinkie can just open that portal again."

"I'm not sure I can," said Pinkie in an odd tone of voice. "I kind of let all the magic smoke out of the machine."

"Whaaat?" cried Rarity Stone. "Just how exactly are you planning to get me back home with a broken portal.... whatever that thing is machine? This world is nice and all, but I wouldn't want to live here."
-
Coffee Swirl sighed. "Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hoof fast."
-
"I wanna get ya and Twilight back home too! I figured with his griffin body I can get my foot in the door with Gilda, I mean, check things out in Griffindale without sticking out like a sore hoof." Rainbow Dash said.

"You are so different from my Rainbow Dash," Rarity Stone said.

"Really? What's she like again?"

Suddenly there was a swirling tornado of magic in the middle of the room, and in a flash of light, Twilight Sparkle stood before them, but a little bit different.

She now had a large blue bow tied at the base of her tail. She look like leaner, like she had been exercising more. Rarity swore she looked a tiny bit taller, and she had let her mane grow out some. at her hooves was Midnight, still in diapers, but clearly no longer a newborn.

She looked around. "It worked! It worked! I'm back!" She jumped for joy. "Midnight! We're home!" She loving nuzzled the filly. She looked at Rainbow Dash. "I thought I fixed that before I went." This time her zap CURVED with Rainbow Dash's dodge and hit dead center.

"Aw man! Can't I get to enjoy being a griffin just for a little while?" The now pegasus again complained.

"Well happy all that is settled." Coffee Swirl said.

"Trixie is confused as to what is going on."

"So is Pinkie Pie, but that's normal for me."

"Twilight dear," Rarity said, "Can you please explain what just happened?"

"Well, I just spent the last year at Paradise Estate-"

"WHAT?!" Everypony exclaimed.

"Yes I know, that's going to be confusing on my taxes and medical reports when I explain I'm a year older than my birth date says I am. It took a while to get Twiley, I mean, Twilight The First's wish magic to be amplified enough with my own element of magic to transport us back. We considered using the rainbow of light, but since my element of magic CAME form the rainbow of light, it might cause some confusion in the spell. It might have gotten it done faster if the entire Witch Clan hadn't tried to destroy Paradise Estate. It's WONDERFUL to see you all again Applejack, Surprise, Firefly, Posy, Sparkler, I MEAN Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity. And of course you too Spike and Trixie."

"Trixie now knows your pain Spike."

"Welcome to my world."

"FINALLY! Everything's settled! Now I can go back to serving coffee to demi-draconequus spirits and Apples that can see beyond the veil!" Coffee Swirl declared.

"HEY! That's not true! We still need to have a home for Midnight!" Pinkie Pie said.

"She is home." Twilight said calmly looking at the foal.

"And I hate to be a bother, really I do, but I want to go home." Said Rarity Stone.

"Huh? Oh you! Sorry! I'm sorry Rarity! I didn't mean to forget about you! But with everything that happened in the last year, I lost track of a few things. But don't worry, I'm sure the what if machine can help."

"It's kinda in the shop." Pinkie Pie admitted pointing at the smoking machine.

"It's okay, I've fully learned and appreciated Twiley's Wish Magic . . . all I need is to have enough heart and believe."

-Five Minutes Later-

"For the last time I'm not a changeling! Now please untie me!"

"Sorry Twiley. Ah was tryin' to tell'em so," AJ apologized as she did so.

"So how many musical numbers did it take for you to reach this point of fairy tale enlightenment?" Pinkie Pie asked grinning.

"I actually lost count, for once, less than a dozen, more than three. I can use my Spell Copy of Twiley's wish magic combined with our belief and emotions to get the What If Machine working long enough to open a portal for Rarity Stone and her son."
-

"Let's get started, shall we?" Twilight braced her hooves and lowered her head, charging up enough magical power to stir a strong breeze in the studio. Inky darkness spread over the ceiling and formed a dome around them, shining with sparkling lights, as if they'd suddenly been transported to a field outdoors on a starry night.

Trixie ooohed and watched, committing every detail to memory.

Twilight finished, seeming slightly winded. "Now we just need to charge it up with happy thoughts and feelings." She blinked. "Pinkie? What are you doing?"

Pinkie was flipping through big sheafs of paper, only to cast them aside and pull out more and flip through those. "No... Used that one already... I can't sing these, we need them for the Wedding Arc... I'm sorry, Twilight! I just don't have any good songs ready! But... I'm so glad that all of you came here to make this my best variety show ever!"

Unexpectedly, a glow surrounded her, then zipped away and formed a six-pointed star, floating in the air. "Heehee! That tickled."

Spike gave it a try. "I'm glad I got a little taste of what it's like to be a big dragon!" Another ray of light made the star glow a little brighter.

The ponies (and dragon) looked at the star, and each other.

Fluttershy said, "I'm glad we were able to deal with the Harmony Queens and Nightmare Mirror without anypony getting hurt."

"Well, I'm glad we torched that flytrap so it wouldn't hurt anypony else," said Fluttercruel.

"We're going to talk about this later," said Fluttershy, in a sweet tone that nevertheless made her daughter shiver.

"I got to be awesome in ways I've never been awesome before!" said Rainbow Dash.

Rarity Belle cleared her throat. "I'm happy that I got to meet another version of myself, and learn that even if things had gone very differently, you all still would have been my good and dear friends."

"Likewise," added Rarity Stone. The baby Spike in her pouch waved his claws at all the pretty lights, babbling in baby dragon talk.

"I'm just happy that I got to play a part in all of this," said Coffee Swirl modestly.

"Trixie is happy that she learned at least half a dozen spells today, and she can't wait to include them in her next performance."

The star was shining brighter, sending out glowing steamers connecting the people who had spoken so far. "Ah'm glad Ah met this little fellow here," said Applejack. "And more glad Ah've got a good keg of cider waiting back at home." That drew some strange looks... and many startled gasps when the streams of light revealed the Blank Wolf Pup to everypony.

The Pup blinked at the unexpected attention. "I am grateful... that a main character thanked me and acknowledged all my hard work. There, are you happy now?"

"There's plenty of cider for you too."

"I'd... be grateful for that as well. This day has given me such a headache."

Twilight smiled. "And I'm so happy that I got to meet the daughter I never knew I had. And the sisters I never knew I had either."

Half-Lights Dawn, Noon, and Dusk appeared, with Dawn cheering, "Good luck with your new new home, little sis!" Midnight the filly had fallen asleep on her hooves, though, adorably leaning against Twilight's foreleg.

"Now!" declared Twilight. "I wish for Rarity Stone and her son Spike to have a safe journey home." A rainbow shot from the star, growing into a blinding flash. When they could see again, the studio had returned, and the What-If Machine was no longer a broken-down wreck, but brand sparkling new.

Pinkie looked at the camera. "What? It's not as crazy as the time we finished with a dozen alicorns."
-
Rarity Stone look at the machine, holding her adopted child. Pinkie Pie got right to work on getting the gizmo to open a portal back to her own world.

Rarity Stone said, "Twilight . . . I just want to say, it's ALMOST as amazing that you turned out to be a Element of Magic as Trixie."

"Hey!"

"Sorry Trixie, I apologize." Rarity Stone said.

Rarity said, "And . . . it's amazing to learn that I could have been Magic if I had made different choices."

Rarity Stone said, "But I guess I'm NOT that surprised I'm Generosity here, but I was expecting Kindness with how I've looked after Spike for so long . . . Twilight, please take care of him."

"I will. I always will. And Midnight too."
-
"Ta-da!" Pinkie called out. "Here we are, it's finished!... I think." The other ponies gathered around, with Rarity Stone holding her adopted son close as Twilight furrowed her brow in concentration to cast her spell as the machine began to activate again.

"This should be more than enough," Twilight said as her horn began to glow. A ray of blinding white flashed from her horn to the machine, opening another gate between the worlds. Through it the ponies could see the rocky field they'd where first viewed Rarity Stone and 'her' Spike, looking exactly as it did before she'd left.

"That's it!" Rarity Stone whinnied. "That's home! Oh thank you, thank you!" She gratefully nuzzled Twilight. Little Spike burbled happily at Midnight and she whickered back at him. Bigger Spike smiled to see Rarity go through the gate together with her adopted son. She turned and waved back once, and then with a loud SNAP the gate shut and was gone.

"Okay," Applejack said. "So we got her back home where she wanted ta be." She indicated Midnight. "What 'bout this little filly here? You gonna raise her, Twi?"

"Actually," Twilight began as she picked Midnight up with her magic, nuzzling the happy little unicorn filly, "I was thinking of letting her be raised by my sister in law and brother. They want foals, and they love Midnight..."

"Sure ya don't mean, they'll love her when they see her?" Rainbow Dash interrupted.

"They already did," Twilight said. "We met in the past at Paradise Estates; they showed up together with the one brown stallion who's always with Derpy, something about some old enemy of Cadance's from her fillyhood working with the three witches..." She shrugged. "Once they got over the surprise of finding me there, we handled the problem. They adore Midnight and begged me to bring her to visit them when we got back, said they'd love having a filly to raise." Twilight smiled at her little sister. The filly nuzzled her. "And I can visit whenever I want."

"That's assuming that they've already met Midnight in the past." Rarity pointed out.

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure the trip already happened by the time they'll meet Midnight in the present. Shining said something about Cadence being the safest pony Midnight could be around."

"Well, that's good to hear. I'm happy for little Midnight." Fluttershy rose into the air, her wings beating softly as she said, "And I'm sorry, girls, but I have to take care of my animals." She shivered and her cutie mark changed to Fluttercruel's as she said, "And I have to keep up on my self-defense lessons." The Flutters flew off the stage.

"Yeah, well," Dash yawned. "I gotta get going too. I have a nap, I mean, some exercises of my own to handle." She flew out after the Flutters.

"And as the last pegasus standing, I'll be leaving too." Said Coffee Swirl, "I came here for catering, and I'd say the cantering is done here. See ya around till next time." The brown pegasus left.

"Oh! That reminds me," Rarity said to Applejack. "You said you'd let me use you as a model for some of my new dresses, remember?" When AJ looked dismayed, Rarity added, "Now, it's just a few. Three or four." She turned and began to leave the stage, adding as she went, "Though I do have that delightful number in forest green and sun gold, and then there's the one with the diamonds..." She vanished offstage. Applejack sighed, rolled her eyes, and followed her like a pony headed for a jail cell.

None noticed the blank wolf pup follow Applejack out of the studio, seemingly vanishing as it stepped through the doors.

"And I've got to be getting Spike back, and Midnight off to Cadence and Shiny," Twilight said to Pinkie Pie.

"Do you think if Trixie could come with you? She could use the exposure please."

"No problem Trixie, I'm sure they won't mind. I was about to suggest to them you be Midnight's baby sitter."

"WHAT?!"

Still smiling, Twilight ignored Trixie and looked at Pinkie Pie. "Think you'll need any help cleaning up around here?"

"Nah, I got it," Pinkie said as she hopped over to the camera. She took a firm grip on the cord and called after Twilight, "Besides, I need to unplug this, we'll need all the footage we can spare when we do the episode with you fighting all the monsters from Tartarus at once!"

"Yeah, I guess I - Pinkie! Monsters from Tartarus? Wait, WHA-"

Pinkie fell back, clutching the unplugged power cord, and the screen went black.

Until next time...
-

A postscript....

{Video static, then shaky black and white footage from a hoof-held camera, advancing down a hallway.}

Applejack's voice: You lost me there. Goths?

{The camera view creeps into the Apple family living room and ducks behind a couch, peeking out. Applejack is at the kitchen table, drinking cider from a large glass mug. A second mug sits in front of an empty chair.}

Applejack: Forget Ah asked. Ya know, Ah do have a name.

{The camera pans towards Applejack, then back, and then it suddenly zooms on the second cider mug. It's gone from half-full to nearly empty in the split second it was out of the camera frame.}

Applejack: Well, maybe we ought to think of one. Something better than Blankie, Ah mean.

{Silence}

Applejack: (laughs) Not since the time Ah let Sweetie Belle try mud wrestling.

{The video cuts to Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Spike, and Silver Spoon in Applebloom's bedroom.}

Applebloom: Ya know what this means?

Sweetie Belle: Cutie Mark Crusader Ghost Hunters!

All: YAY!

{The camera picks up a deep canine growl, but no one seems to hear or react to it. Cut to static}