Cyan and Steel
By: Alexstrazsa
Until recently, I hadn’t really thought about what it would be like to lose what makes you stand out. We each have something special about us which defines who we are, you know - a quirk or an ability. For example, Pinkie Pie has her peculiar Pinkie Sense, Rarity has that unique eye for style and Fluttershy has her attunement to animals. Me? I have my horn and my magic. Most of us go about our lives, day to day, not thinking much about our special gifts and talents - but not me.
Why? I know somepony who lost everything they had.
Oh, I’m sorry, I really should have introduced myself first. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m Ponyville’s resident librarian. I also happen to be Princess Celestia’s pupil, but that isn’t really important right now. What is important is the story I’m about to tell you, so you should listen. You can even take notes, if you’d like to, but it isn’t necessary. I’m not going to quiz you on it, I promise.
- - -
It started one Saturday afternoon when I was cleaning the library, like I normally do at the end of the week. All the shelves had been freshly dusted and I had even swept the floor, saving Spike - my dragon assistant - a bit of work. I had also just received a new copy of the Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy and was busy putting it on it’s shelf when my pegasus friend, Fluttershy, just about broke down the door. Obviously, I was shocked, and I was just about to say something about common courtesy when I noticed the look on her face.
She wore an expression that was a mix of deep seated fear and painful sadness, and seeing that took the words from my mouth. She was breathing heavily, and several times she opened her mouth as if to say something but stopped midway. My train of thought stalled for a moment before I finally asked “Fluttershy, what’s wrong?”
“It’s... it’s Rainbow Dash!” she said, her voice wavering. I had never seen her this frightened before - not even when we had taken on that dragon, so I knew whatever happened to Dash was serious.
I dropped what I was doing, quite literally, as the book slammed to the back of the shelf it was on. “Where is she? What happened?” I asked, a million different thoughts running through my mind. This was Rainbow Dash we were talking about, the pony who would do just about anything if it made her look ‘cooler’, so I really had no idea what to expect.
“She’s in... the hospital,” Fluttershy replied. The hospital?! That was much worse than I had thought. In fact, now I was starting to feel scared, so I didn’t waste any time in leaving the library.
We rushed outside, and slamming the door behind me, galloped to the hospital. A sickening mix of emotions spun around my head, ranging anywhere from fear to confusion to hopelessness to concern, and in my panicked state I barely noticed the large building we had quickly arrived at. The two of us got inside and found Nurse Redheart waiting there, with a very bleak stare, coupled with a somber frown, like this was the worst thing she’d ever seen happen to a pony. In hindsight, now that I think on it, it most likely was.
“Please, come with me,” she said, her voice little more than a whisper. Fluttershy and I followed her without a word, through the corridor with the ‘Emergency Room’ sign on it. I remember looking at that sign and just gulping, from both fear and uncertainty.
We stopped in front of the ER. There were no windows looking into it, save for a single square pane of glass on the door, most likely just for checking to see if somepony was using it. Now, only ponies that suffered horrible tragedies ever went into that room, so you can probably imagine how I felt, looking at that door.
“She’s in very bad condition...” Redheart said, looking to the two of us.
“Just... how bad?” I asked. It was sort of a silly question, considering it was obviously really bad, but my curiosity got the better of me. All Redheart could do in response was shake her head.
“She’s very unstable right now, mentally,” She said, putting a hoof on the door handle. “Just... try to comfort her, okay?”
Both Fluttershy and I nodded as she opened the door, allowing us in. Nurse Redheart immediately started checking the medical equipment, which comprised part of the small collection of things in the room. The other main thing was the bed, which Rainbow Dash was occupying. I could see the redness of her eyes and how unkempt her mane was - well, how more unkempt than normal it was. She didn’t notice us at first, because she was just blankly staring at the opposite wall. It was like she was in permanent daze, and she only acknowledged us once I spoke up.
“Hi, Dash,” was what came out of my mouth. I suppose seeing one of your friends in an emergency room will sap you of your thoughts, so that was the first thing that came to mind.
She looked over to us, barely turning her head. “Hey...” she replied, in a quiet, raspy voice. Her eyes were glistening in the soft light of the room, like she would break down at any moment. I remember thinking ‘This must have been a terrible,’ and I couldn’t have been more correct.
I moved closer to the bed, and that’s when I really saw just how bad she was. Her fur was matted and dirty, with various cuts, scrapes and bandages all over her body. There was severe bruising in multiple places, and all I wondered was ‘How could this have happened?’ You probably haven’t met her, but this was a pegasus who had single-hoofedly destroyed a barn, suffered multiple collisions, and was consistently pit against crazy g-forces. I just couldn’t believe what was going on.
That’s when I made, what I consider, the most poorly thought out decision I’ve ever made. Well... except for one instance where I may have cast a fairly potent ‘Want It Need It’ spell... but that’s not relevant. This decision was, right then and there, to ask Rainbow Dash what had happened. I feel so... silly for it, because it was so blunt and deliberate, almost like I was trying to get her to re-live the experience. Honestly, I didn’t mean it like that, but the way I said it was... well...
“Dash... what happened to you?”
There are two distinct things I remember about the seconds immediately following the question. The first was Fluttershy’s expression as she turned her head and looked at me. The way she was staring, it was like every fibre of her being was screaming at me ‘Why would you ask that?’ She stayed silent, of course, but it was in her eyes. The second thing I recall was the way Dash’s eyes widened and her pupils shrunk. If I had to describe ‘fear’ to somepony, I probably would have given them a picture of that moment.
She stammered at first, struggling with the words. “Oh... uh... I... Well...” then, she inhaled and exhaled deeply before continuing. “I was trying a new trick out... kinda close to Everfree Forest. And... I wanted to see what using lightning would be like.”
The words ‘Oh no’ shot through my head as she said ‘lightning’, mainly because not even the most talented weather pegasi really know how to harness electricity. I probably said it out loud on accident, because I remember Fluttershy giving me another look.
“So,” Dash continued, “I built up a nice, big storm cloud to fly through. I thought that maybe... I don’t know... the lightning would trail off behind me in some kinda electric rainbow.”
She seemed to brighten up just the tiniest bit at the thought, which was good.
“I finished the cloud, got ready, then flew at it... and... as I got near... it went off before it was supposed to.” She sniffed. At the time, I really hadn’t considered how much this was going to hurt her to explain, and that one little sniff was my first clue.
“The lightning struck out at me... took me off guard. I couldn’t react in time and just... I went through the cloud... and...” She paused, taking a small breath. “It keep shocking me... it hurt so bad I couldn’t move...” Now, a small stream of tears was coming down her face. I wanted to tell her to stop, but couldn’t form the words. It was like watching a train wreck.
“So... I fell... and... I couldn’t do anything. I fell into... into the Everfree... where I... I... the trees... and branches... they...” she blinked, a fresh set of tears trailing down her face. “T-they...” she shut her eyes, hard, trying in vain to hide her crying. “I... I lost...”
And that was where she broke down. I stepped back in shock as she went from light tears to wracking sobs, her forelegs crossed over her chest. The poor thing was crying so hard she was shaking, and was constantly gasping for breath over her heavy weeping. To be honest, in my whole time knowing Dash, I had never seen her in this state. It was... surreal, for lack of a better word.
Almost as quickly as Dash had started crying, Redheart rushed over to us and pushed us out of the room. The doors closed behind us, but that didn’t stop the sound from coming through. Even from a distance, the noise was just as painful as being right next to her, and I felt downright awful for having caused that. However, I still didn’t know what exactly had happened.
Glancing through the window briefly, I asked “Nurse, I can tell she’s very hurt... but what exactly happened?”
“Well... I’m afraid she’s... lost her wings,” she said, frowning at both of us. At that point, I was able to feel my blood run cold as the words were processed. Rainbow Dash. Lost. Her wings. Apparently Fluttershy didn’t know either, because she immediately whimpered, and I spotted some moisture in her eyes. Overall, I wasn’t sure how to respond to the situation.
So, I replied with a quiet “Thank you, Nurse Redheart,” and turned to leave. Fluttershy followed me out, and we silently said our goodbyes, both heading in different directions.
I walked back to the library, not really paying attention the the world around me. Ponies and buildings just passed by, and I felt like I was just viewing things through another ponies eyes. The shock of Rainbow’s accident didn’t wear off until I was outside the library, and even then, I only knew I was there because I walked into the door. Shaking my head, I went inside to find Spike finishing up the day’s cleaning.
“Oh, heya Twilight,” he said, cheerily. He hadn’t seen my face yet, which explained his good mood. My voice, however, was about to clue him in.
“Hey,” I flatly replied, closing the door behind me. I was still a bit lost in thought, so I didn’t pay much attention to him as I climbed the stairs and went into my room. Shutting my bedroom door, I let out a heavy sigh, then sat down at my desk and rubbed my temples. I shut my eyes, trying to collect my thoughts, and that’s when I decided I needed to do something to help Rainbow Dash out.
I just wasn’t sure what.
Now, I wanted to be a good friend, so I thought about the things I could actually do for her. A moment of pondering lead to my decision of visiting her the next day. It was really the least I could do, after causing her to go into a fit like that. Even now I still feel bad about it, to be honest. So, I levitated my calendar over to my desk and picked up a quill, jotting down my plans for the next day.
It was then thought to send a letter about this to the Princess. You see, that’s what I do in Ponyville. I send Celestia occasional reports about my studies of friendship, and how they’ve affected me. Although this wasn’t a lesson in friendship, I wanted to tell her anyway, so I wrote a letter that went something like this:
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, I learned that a terrible accident had befallen my good friend, Rainbow Dash. She’s lost her ability to fly, so I plan to do something to help her. Tomorrow, I’m going to visit her in the hospital and speak with her more. Afterwards, I want to do something really nice for her, to calm her down. I’ll send you a longer report when I’ve spent more time with her.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle.
After I had finished that, I brought it down to Spike to send it. Being in a slightly better mood, I did the last of the cleaning with him, and then retired to bed for the night.
The next day, I rushed my breakfast, grabbed a few Daring Do books from the fiction shelf and left Spike with a simple “I’m going out! See you later.” My only concern, from the moment I opened my eyes that morning, was seeing Rainbow Dash - and I did exactly that. I practically ran into the hospital, and after noticing the strange looks I was getting, smiled awkwardly and slowed to a more reasonable pace. I went through the normal sign in procedure and then went to see Dash, who was still in the emergency room.
I opened the door quietly and walked in, letting it shut behind me. She was laying down in the bed, lightly snoring. Thankfully, she looked a little better this time around, with her hair looking more presentable and having a fairly clean coat. My timing was pretty good, because she slowly opened her eyes only moments after I had walked in.
“Good morning, Dash,” I greeted her, with a bright smile. She blinked a few times before rubbing her eyes, then looked over to me.
“Hey, Twi,” she said, weariness still in her voice. She gave me one of the most forced smiles I’ve ever seen, which was a little off putting. I didn’t let that dampen my mood, however, and kept up the cheery attitude.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, pulling a chair next to her bed and sitting. I made sure to be involved and attentive. I needed to show I cared, which I’m sure you understand.
She shrugged lightly, then rolled her shoulder a bit, saying “I’m really sore... like, every part of me hurts.” She then frowned, fidgeting in the bed to get more comfortable.
“That’s understandable.” I replied, softening my slightly over-enthusiastic smile. It was starting to hurt my mouth, and I’m pretty sure I got the message across that I was happy to see her. Not sure what else to say, I asked “Has anyone else come to visit you?”
She nodded and said “Yeah. AJ, Rarity and Pinkie dropped by yesterday, a couple hours after you and Fluttershy left.” She used a hoof and motioned to the balloons floating on the end table. Right under it was a small, pink card that said ‘Get Well Soon!’ on the cover. I thought it was a little tacky, but Pinkie Pie was just being Pinkie Pie, and by itself it was a kind enough gesture.
She then continued, “You’re the first one today, though.” and she genuinely smiled. I thought it was great to see some happiness come back to her!
“Well, you know how I am. Always early!” I added, with a light laugh. She started to laugh, but then abruptly stopped, putting a hoof to her chest and wincing. “Oh! I’m sorry.” I quickly added.
“It’s fine, Twi,” she replied, leaning back and letting her hoof fall limply to her side. “I’ll get over it.”
I just remember how sad she looked, even through the smile she gave me. They say your eyes show how you really feel, and right now, she was absolutely heartbroken. And who wouldn’t be in a time like this? She was trying so hard to be strong, and tough out her accident - but this just wasn’t something she could get over.
I did what I thought was right. I stood up and looked her right in the eyes, and for a split second she let slip what her mind was really thinking. Just that tiny bit of time where her sly smile faltered, and that tiny glimmer of hope was stolen from her eyes.
Without a word, I hugged her. That was all. I wrapped my hooves around her, and gave her the most comforting embrace I could manage. At first, she gasped, but then she accepted it. I felt her forelegs hold me as well, followed by her face buried in my shoulder. Mere seconds passed before I felt warm tears on me - and that was just fine. She was almost silent this time around, but that gave it no less of an impact. In fact, I felt my own eyes growing moist from the friendly gesture, but I wouldn’t let myself cry. I hadn’t lost anything. I didn’t have any reason to cry. This was Dash’s moment, and I let her have it.
I’m not entirely sure how long that lasted, but she finally broke away, wiping her eyes and sniffling a bit. “Twi... I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything,” I replied, sitting back down. “I thought you needed that.”
She looked downwards, at the sheets covering her, and her own two hooves resting on top of one another. After a moment, she softly nodded and said “Yeah... I guess I did...” She then looked to me. “Thanks, Twilight.”
“Don’t thank me. I’m doing what any good friend would do,” I replied, with a soft smile. Dash nodded again, then leaned back down into her pillow, sighing. After that, we were both silent, her looking at the ceiling, eyes half shut, and myself observing her - making sure she was okay.
It wasn’t until I had the urge to get a drink that she said something. I shifted the chair backwards to get up, and her eyes jerked open at the sound. Dash quickly looked to me, with an almost fearful expression in her eyes, but that faded as I stopped mid-motion and looked back to her.
“Dash?” I asked, a hint of curiosity in my tone.
She blinked, like she was lost in a daydream and had to come back to reality. “Twi... are you... leaving?” she asked, her voice having the slightest quiver to it.
“Oh... no,” I said, a little surprised at the question. “I was just getting something to drink.”
She let out a sigh, then looked to me as a filly looks to their parents when leaving for the first day of school. “Alright. I just didn’t want you to leave without saying goodbye, you know?”
I smiled softly, understanding her feelings almost immediately. If she wanted my company that much, she should have just said so! Then again, that was Rainbow Dash for you. She would never say how she actually felt - she would always mask it under something.
She went on, “If it wouldn’t be too much trouble... could you maybe... stay with me? Please?” With a plea like that, there was no way I was going to say no - not that I intended to leave any time soon.
So I smiled and said, “Of course I will, Dash. I’ll stay for however long you want.”
That made her happy. I could almost see the twinkle in her eyes as she leaned back into the bed, resting her head on the pillow. She had a content smile on her face as she closed her eyes, and it really... made me feel good. I was really glad to be there for her.
- - -
Over the next week, I got into the habit of visiting Dash every day for as long as I could. Some days, she would sleep the majority of the time, others, we would talk for hours on end about whatever came to mind. During the chats we have, I got to know her quite well - far more than I already knew her, that is. In fact, by the time the week came to a close, I probably could have written a biography all about her. I guess talking is really all you can do in a hospital bed, isn’t it?
Even still, after all the sharing and bonding we did together, I still felt like there was something else. It was this nagging feeling, deep in my mind, and it wouldn’t go away. It kept telling me to help her out and do more for her, but I really didn’t know what. She had lost the only thing she loved, and it wasn’t like I could give the gift of flight back to her.
Or could I?
- - -
The idea had been floating around in my head for a while, but it wasn’t until Dash was out of the hospital that I finally decided on it. You see, when she was released, they didn’t tell her to do much other than rest, and let what was left of her wings heal up. For any other pony, this would be fine, but there was one thing Dash had forgotten - her house was in the sky.
I had just finished reading Basic Mechanics, Volume IV, and had a small plan formulated in my head for a way to give Dash her flight back. However, I needed to test my theory out on a smaller scale to see if it was plausible, and the best way to do that was with a model.
After gathering a few materials and referencing some pages, I managed to build a small kite. It wasn’t the most advanced technology, but I was certainly proud of my progress! All that was left was to test it. If it worked, it would prove my hypotheses and I could move on to a real prototype. Tying the small contraption to my back, I trotted over to the door and opened it, only to find Rainbow Dash standing there, her hoof raised.
“Dash! It’s great to see you out of the hospital!” I said, smiling brightly at her. I was sincere with that, too. Seeing her standing upright and being able to walk around was far better than watching her confined to a bed. My grin faltered a bit, though, as my vision trailed down and noticed her sides. They were wrapped in heavy bandages and clipped together, with small protrusions and bumps where her wings normally would’ve been. I quickly averted my gaze, hoping she hadn’t seen.
“Don’t worry about it, Twilight... I know it’s weird,” she said, looking to her left side. I cringed slightly.
“That’s not why I’m here though,” Dash then continued, looking back to me. “Now, I really hate to have to ask you this... but...” She pawed at the ground with her hoof.
“...Yes?” I asked, waiting for a continuation.
“Well...” she started, but then looked to the ground. “I kinda... Uh... Jeez, this is embarrassing...” she muttered under her breath.
“Whatever it is, Dash, I can probably help,” I added, with a smile.
She then stamped a hoof on the ground, looking to me with some unexpected anger in her eyes. “I need to use your balloon, Twilight.”
The question confused me at first. I cocked my head ever so slightly and began to ask “Why do you need my...” but then my eyes trailed down and back to her bandaging. “Oh,” I quietly said, immediately shifting my gaze back to her.
“I... can’t get to my house without it,” she replied, looking downwards and scuffing her hoof against the ground.
I nodded and took a step forward, touching a hoof to her chin and raising her head up so she could see me. “Dash, I understand. You can use my balloon whenever you’d like.”
“Thanks, Twi.” She cracked the faintest of smiles at me. We stood there looking at one another for several moments, with nothing but the occasional chirping bird or rustling of leaves in the wind. Neither of us were saying anything, so I decided to break the silence.
“Would... you like to learn how to use it? I was just about to go to the launch pad before you showed up.”
“Oh, uh... yeah.” She looked away, and I could’ve sworn I saw the tiniest blush in her cheeks. I shrugged it off, figuring it was just embarrassment, and decided to start our lesson on ballooning.
“Okay then, follow me!”
We set off to where I kept the balloon. It was a small area not far from the library, but it was a long enough walk that we could talk a little bit. Avoiding discussing her accident any further, I decided to jump right into ballooning. “Now, the first thing you want to do is make sure there aren’t any holes in the balloon. Well, besides the ones that are supposed to be there.”
Dash gave me a confused glance, then asked “Wait, balloons have holes in them?”
I chuckled, then nodded. “Yes, but they’re called vents. They’re used to do things like raise and lower the balloon. You can also use them to turn, but usually you won’t need to do that.”
I was a bit surprised when she only looked more confused. “Now hold on, why wouldn’t I need to turn it? Don’t I have to steer it somehow?”
“See, that’s the thing about balloons,” I replied, looking into the sky. “You normally don’t turn it yourself. You use air currents to guide it. I’m sure you’re familiar with that, right?”
This time it was her turn to nod. “Yeah, I used them all the time to get around faster. I can get some serious extra speed if I catch a wind current just right.” She seemed to brighten up at the idea of flying, and that was expected. Hopefully, my plan would work and she could be way more excited. All I wanted was to see that light in her eyes again. I needed to see it - because without it... she just wasn’t the Dash I know and love. But anyway, I’m getting off topic.
By this time, we had reached the clearing, and the balloon was right where I had left it. It was deflated and laid out neatly, just waiting to be used again. I pointed to the basket, which sat in the middle of a wooden landing pad. “Stand near the basket, Rainbow. I’ll just do a quick inspection before we go.”
“Sure thing, Twi.” A simple reply, but that was all she needed. I started looking at the balloon and making sure there was nothing out of the ordinary - there wasn’t, so I made my way to Dash.
“Now, after we’ve inspected it, we need to tip the basket over.” I got on my hind legs and pushed the basket over, then dragged it over a bit so the balloon wasn’t covering the burner. “You do this so you can get the initial heat into the balloon.”
“Uh huh...” she replied, cocking her head a bit as she watched me. I wasn’t sure if she fully understood why I was doing what I was doing, but I had to be thorough.
“Next, you have to start the flame up. Normally I do this with magic, but it’s made so it can be done with hooves. First, you lift up the edge of the balloon...” To demonstrate, I pulled the lip of the balloon up. “Then, you turn the flame on.” I reached over and turned a valve, causing a jet of green flame to shoot out.
“Green?”
“Uh huh. It’s magic flame, so there’s no resources required. It’s good for the environment and efficient!” Dash looked as though she could care more about anything else in the world, so I simply continued with the explanation. I motioned to the rest of the balloon, which was starting to puff up and inflate. “You need to wait until the balloon is filled with enough hot air that it drags the basket upright, then you can turn the flame down.”
“How long does that usually take?” Her gaze moved from the flame to the rest of the balloon, and she seemed fairly unimpressed with the rate.
I looked at the parts the same way before giving a light laugh and saying “A couple of minutes.” Fifteen minutes later, the balloon had risen and lifted the basket, which was now settling comfortably on the ground. “Alright, that’s done. Now we’re ready to go.”
“Is it going to take that long every time?” She was tapping her hoof at a steady pace