Sam lay back in his chair, glancing around the office. Max had gone down to Bosco's Inconvenience Store for some corn dogs and sodas, leaving Sam to twiddle his paws in the office. Getting to his paws, he stretched his hands and arms over his head as he wandered around the office to examine a few of the things scattered around from past cases.
"Hmm...Jessie James' hand," he muttered to himself as he examined the hand mounted over the closet door. "I don't know why I keep looking at it. Rather gruesome in its own way." Shrugging his shoulders, he straightened his blue tie as he smoothed out his blue business suit and straightened his hat. Sitting back down, the canid began bouncing a ball against a nearby wall, catching it in his mouth as it returned to him.
As he threw the ball for the 12th time, the office door swung open. "Sam!" Max called out eagerly, his long ears waving around his head as he grinned widely, showing all his sharp teeth as he always did. "Look what I found!"
Sam examined his lifelong lagomorph companion, from his pure white body to his beady black eyes, his sharply pointed ears and the strange top hat clutched in his hands. "Max, I thought you were getting corn dogs and sodas."
"I forgot my wallet," Max explained casually, "and Bosco wasn't in the mood to accept bullets as an alternative payment plan. But check this out!" He held up the hat. "I found it outside Bosco's store! It's a magician's hat!"
Sam raised an eyebrow. "How do you know it's a magician's hat? Is his head still inside?"
"Sadly, no," Max admitted. "But look at it! Can't you see the eldritch glow of ancient powers which we mere mortals were never meant to fool with?"
Sam gently took the hat from Max's hands. Holding it up, he turned it over in his hands, sniffing here and there to get a better sense of the hat. "I'm afraid not, pal. It just looks like an ordinary hat to me."
"Oh Sam, you're such a philistine," Max chided, shaking his head. "Haven't you learned to use your imagination yet?"
"I've got you for that, Max," Sam replied, smiling as he leaned back in his chair once more. "So does this mean you're going to try to do some magic?"
"Of course!" Max proclaimed, holding the hat out one handed with the open end up. "Behold," he proclaimed, waving his hand over the hat, "as the great Maximilian Vermicelli performs the most stupefying feats of preposterous prestidigitation as ever seen by people's eyes!"
Sam chuckled. "Well, Mr. Pasta, what will you be doing? Will you be pulling a rabbit out of your hat?" He snickered a bit at that.
"Oh ye of little dreams!" Max bemoaned. "No, this rabbit...is going to pull a magician out of his hat!"
Sam grinned. "I'll believe that when I see it!"
"Bet you 20 bucks I can!" Max said quickly.
"You crack me up, little buddy. You're on!"
Grinning, Max waved his hand over the open hat. "Abara Kadabara, Presto Chango, Mumbo Jumbo Mystic Mambo! By the craftings of the ancient gods, powers of the multiverse obey my will! Come forth, magician Great and Powerful!" With that, he thrust his hand into the hat.
When he pulled his hand out, he clutched a tiny, pale blue equine with big purple eyes, a paler blue and white mane and tail, wearing a purple pointed hat and cape - both with a star scattered design - the cape held clasped by a perfectly carved sapphire, a spiral horn rising from the center of her forehead, and clutching a teddy bear and a toy wand in her forelegs. She looked around nervously as Max held her.
Sam sat up. "Okay, Max, I'll pay up...if you tell me where you got that creature and why you'd dress her up like that."
"Honestly Sam, I have no idea," Max admitted. "I've never seen her before in my life."
"Why is the doggy talking?" the filly asked in confusion.
"Yeah, he does that way too much," Max agreed. "I've been trying to shut him up for years."
"Great galloping gorgons grabbing Greek gorgonzola!" Sam gasped out. "Max, that little unicorn is talking!"
The filly frowned at Sam. "That little unicorn is the Gweat and Powaful Twixie!" she proclaimed with a pout.
"By all the gods Sam, she's adorable!" Max said happily. "Can we keep her?"
Sam frowned. "I don't know, little buddy. We really shouldn't..."
Trixie turned her face to Max. "Are...are you my Daddy?"
"Hnng..." Sam mumbled, clutching his chest.
Max smiled widely. "I am now," he said, pulling her close into a warm hug.
"Hnng!" Sam said again, sitting down as he clutched his chest in both hands.
Trixie snuggled into Max's embrace. "I...I have a Daddy now," she whispered. She closed her eyes, holding back tears. "I'm home..."
Sam flopped backwards as his tongue flopped out of his mouth, his head lolling back on his neck.
Grinning, Max pulled out a Taser. "Clear!" he shouted, before shooting the electrified probes into Sam's chest.
As Sam flailed convulsively from the electricity shooting through his body, restarting his heart, Trixie smiled. "I think I'll like it here..."
Later that night, Sam rolled over in his bed in their apartment on the first floor of their office building. He glanced at where Max was curled up in his bed, sleeping peacefully. Normally, Max curled up with his gun clutched in his hand, but tonight he held Trixie carefully in his arms. She had left her wizard's hat and robe on a coatrack, though she still clutched her teddy bear.
Sam had tried to question Trixie a bit after Max had restarted his heart. All he'd been able to learn, though, was confirmation of what he'd already guessed: Trixie was an orphan, a unicorn, claimed to be a pony, and had irrefutably imprinted on Max as her Daddy. He'd lost any hope of fighting this situation when she'd called him 'Uncle Sam'.
So now the two of them - a straight laced, gun toting, violence inclined, over enthusiastic cop barely removed from being a violent thug, and a lagomorph - were responsible for raising a magically empowered infant from another dimension....and raising the little girl right.
"God help us all," Sam muttered under his breath.
"God is no match fow the Gweat and Powaful Twixie..." Trixie mumbled in her sleep.
"Make him eat sacrilege, snookums," Max mumbled dreamily, nuzzling Trixie's mane.
"You two crack me up, little buddies," Sam commented, curling up for sleep.