//------------------------------// // Flash Forward // Story: Flashback // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------// A whole day has passed since I entered and exited the portal. I'm lying on my cot in the tiny, dim-lit prison cell. My eyes trace the edges of the ceiling as my chest slowly rises and falls. For the umpteenth time, I glance at my hooves, imagining them to be arms and hands instead. In my mind, I wonder if he is taking care of him, hugging him close like I did for those brief thirty minutes of heaven, telling him how much he cares for him on a daily basis. I try to think about giving Dreamy the horseshoe. I try to think about the genuine look of awe in his face. But, instead, all I can envision is the pained confusion in his eyes as he hangs there in the other me's embrace. I feel a sharp shudder rising through my body. I rest a fetlock over my head, clenching my eyes tight. The claustrophobic walls of the place echo my jagged breaths. Just then... hoofsteps. The door latch opens from the outside. Blearily, I look up. At the first shade of pink, I gasp, immediately hopping to my hooves. Ignoring the blood-rush to my skull, I bow low to the cold crystal floor. "At ease, Lieutenant," Princess Cadance says, standing in the doorway with a pair of guards. "I'm not Shining Armor." "With all due respect, Your Majesty." I slowly stand up, still avoiding her gaze. "I'm not a 'Lieutenant' anymore." "That has yet to be decided," she says. "Shining Armor is still speaking with the Crystal Council. I... had a long talk with him myself. I wouldn't give up on your future just yet." I fidget where I stand. "I... do not understand, Your Highness." "Oh, I'm sure you do," the alicorn says, gazing calmly at me with those majestic eyes. "I'm sure we both do." I shiver in a breath of confusion. She gazes quietly. Turning around, she speaks to the guards. "Leave us." They give her a worried look. "And close the door behind." They bow, backtrot out into the hallway of the stockades, and oblige her royal request. I hear the cold click of the door-latch, and then Princess Cadance is trotting gently towards me. "Shining Armor sees most everything with his military eyes," she says. "Which is understandable. It's his talent... his special gift, after all. At the same time, I have a gift of my own..." She rests a hoof over her chest. "My talent is the very essence of love. It's an extremely delicate fabric, and yet it binds us more than even time and space." "I have no doubt of that, Your Highness." "Truly?" She leans her head to the side. "Then you must believe me when I tell you that I sense something... something more to your recent escapade than you're willing to tell my husband Shining. More than you're willing to tell anypony." She paces to a stop. "But you can tell me." I shake my head. "There is nothing more to tell, Your Majesty." I gulp. "I knew the mirror was off-limits to everypony but Princess Twilight Sparkle. I went through it anyway. I disobeyed orders, and now I am being punished for it. Rightfully so." "Lieutenant." She says. "Flash Sentry." She rests a soft hoof on my shoulder. And just like that, I'm shivering. Obstinately, I keep my eyes locked on the prison door directly past her. She speaks gently. "We're more than just colleagues. We're friends. You and Shining Armor have been through a lot together. You're like a cousin to me. A brother." Her eyes narrow. "I can sense the love that resonates from your being. Something drew you into that portal, and ever since you came back, you haven't been the same. Now please... tell me what happened." Silence. She says, "Love functions both ways. Don't do something to sabotage who and what you stand for. If you loved someone on the other side that much, then they must love you back all the same. It would be a shame to break their heart by breaking yourself into pieces like this..." Upon hearing that, my ears droop. I lose every semblance of a soldier. No longer able to contain my shivers, I glance her way. My lips move ahead of me. "Your Majesty..." I gulp. "Cadance... as you well know, there was a reason wh-why I entered the service to begin with." She nods thoughtfully. "The bandit attack," she murmurs in a sympathetic voice. "When you were younger." I try to keep my anger in check. "Griffon mercenaries sacked my town along the Equestrian border. They burned houses and smashed everything to bits. When they burned my family's home down, my little brother suffocated from smoke inhalation. I struggled and fought to bring him back while my sobbing parents looked on. But it was no use. He..." I grimace. "...he n-never reached the age of six. He n-never even got his cutie mark. From that moment, everything in our lives changed. My parents were devastated, and nothing I did could bring them out of their depression. If Dreamy Days had lived, th-then maybe they'd still be around today. Both of them. Instead, I've had to fend for myself on my own. Ultimately, I... I-I chose to become a member of the royal guard because I wanted to make the world safer for Equestria, so that mindless tragedies like mine wouldn't happen anymore. For a while there, I thought I had grown past the sorrow. But then..." I hesitate. She stares at me. Patient. Always patient. I buckle under the Princess' gaze. "When... I found out a year and a h-half ago that there was a world... another world where there were copies of us... everyone of us... and we can just enter that world through a simple portal." I swallow hard. "A world with no griffon mercenaries? I... I..." Her ears fold back as her eyes water. It isn't until my world fogs that I realize she's mimicking my expression. Frowning, I stare off into the wall, or at least try to. "Your Highness, pl-please understand..." My voice is already cracking, but I soldier on. "I take no pride in disobeying orders, nor in destroying the trust that you and the Captain have placed in me." My nostrils flare. "But I do not regret having done what I did. Not even if it means restoring my commission would I go back in time and change my actions." I shudder. "I broke the rules and statutes of the royal guard, but... but in so doing I had thirty minutes... j-just thirty heavenly minutes with him and... and I-I won't ever... ever..." "Shhhhh..." Cadance squeezes my shoulder with her hoof. "I rule over a kingdom by the power of love. Believe me, I understand the need to have closure." I clench my teeth tight. "I... I do not know wh-what you—" "Flash," she says. "It is alright. Stop fretting about the future... and stop worrying about the past." She nods with almost a motherly smile. "Do here and now what you could not afford to do when you were in front of Dreamy." "I can't..." I'm already imploding. "C-can't..." "You can and you must," she says. "Shining and I need our friend back, for he deserves to be loved too." I shut my eyes. My wings spread, but it makes no use. The fall has happened. Maybe Cadance catches me. Maybe she doesn't. Gravity itself has dissolved, replaced by these tears, these sobs, and Dreamy Days' innocent smile wading in the depths of it all. "H-he's so happy... so a-alive and happy..." I stammer, quivering all over. "That should be e-enough! I should be glad for him—but why isn't it enough?! Wh-why can't I be happy with wh-what I saw over th-there?!" "Shhhh... It's okay, Flash." "I miss him so m-much!" I wail, howling muffled words into my forelimbs. "Mom... and Dad... and D-Dreamy! Dreamy! I-I just saw him yesterday! I held him! Listened to his laughter, and st-still I miss him!" I shudder and howl. "I let him go! This time... finally... I-I thought I let him go! Why d-does it still hurt?! Why is it even worse th-than it was before?!" At last, I feel her nuzzling me. Through the tremors of my sobs, I forget the boundaries between us and surrender to her embrace. Her words are rich and sweet, rolling right through my shattered core like honey. "You can never escape the pain of losing somepony you care for, Flash," she says, stroking my shoulders and neck. "But the love you have for them is stronger and even more inescapable. Someday, I trust, you will find the warmth to be more cherishable than the void." I hiss through clenched teeth. After several quivering breaths, I find out I'm actually smiling. It is a bittersweet thing, a gift laced with tears. My sobs grow shallower, for I'm once again seeing his face. Not the naked thing that giggled at me in an alien world, but the mischievous little monster face that raspberried at me while we chased each other across the field behind our parents' house. He waddled on tiny little pegasus hooves, and I let him catch me. I always let him catch me. When Dreamy's figure tackled mine, the whole world spun in gasps and giggles. I clung to Cadance like a pony drowning in a storm, and she held me still so that my breaths finally caught up with me at the far end of the maelstrom. "He used to laugh," I murmur with a pained chuckle. "Such a m-melodic voice. All he ever d-did around me was laugh and sm-smile..." "Well of course he did, Flash." She says. Her breath grows softer as she leans down to nuzzle the top of my head. Her princess tears warm me like a blanket. "He has the best big brother in the world."