“Flaminitus!”
“Wait… No, that can’t be… Ricky! It really is you!”
“Yes, Flaminitus. It really is me,” Ricky chuckled at his old guard’s enthusiasm for seeing him again. “How’s it going?”
“Shitty. I fucking hate patrol duty.” Ricky fell into step beside Flaminitus as he made his daily rounds across the perimeter of Caesar’s camp, which, of course, was a wooden fort. Flaminitus was apparently serving advanced patrol duty, outside the timber and earthen walls of the fort. “Speaking of patrolling the fort, how the fuck is there so much lumber down here without it all turning into one massive bonfire?”
“Dunno. At least if it went up, we’d get a warm meal for once,” Flaminitus remarked.
“I’ll bring the marshmallows!”
“The what?”
“They’re these… you know what, forget it. Lots of things have changed since you were around, man.” Ricky gave up on any mannerisms for now, as he was sure Flaminitus wouldn’t get any of them. “So, where’s Aeneus?”
“Sentry duty, on the south side of the fort. I get break in about a half-hour, you should hang with me until then and then we can pay him a little visit,” Flaminitus explained.
"Sounds cool. Why does Caesar even make you patrol around here anyways?"
"There was an... incident, about 4 years ago. Some Gaelic and Germanic tribesmen decided to get revenge on us in the afterlife. They snuck into our camp, which was unfortified at the time, and managed to get to some of Caesar's top lieutenants, slitting their throats while they slept. We got them in time, but Caesar couldn't stand for it. 'What if another attack happened?' he thought. And so, he made us build a fort around our camp."
"What's the point of killing people if they're already dead?"
"Down here, if you die, you die. Permanently. You end up in the Rift."
"That doesn’t sound very pleasant."
"Yeah, it's just a fancy name for a bottomless abyss that absorbs your soul and casts your body down into never-ending freefall and darkness." Ricky just stared stupidly in response to that answer.
"Whatever you say, bud. You’ve been here longer than me.” Ricky replied, still not entirely believing what the grizzled Roman was saying.
“Anyways, where’s Caesar?”
“Where do you think? In his tent, making battle plans and overseeing the drill. He’s a good man, only believes in glory and hard work.”
“Yeah, said ‘good man’ gets assassinated just after the civil war ends, so, yeah.”
“WHAT!”
“Yeah, just ask him. Actually, it was an entire group, about 15 senators. They all stabbed him numerous times.”
Leaving Flaminitus to his stunned silence, Ricky walked along the wall, but was no further into the patrol route than a bell suddenly tolled, which, as Ricky was quick to see, was the fort’s bell signaling the rotation of patrols in the camp’s regimen. The bell also seemed to toll the end of Flaminitus’ daze, as he began to walk off towards the gate. Ricky fell in beside him as they stopped just in front of the gates.
"Who goes there?"
"Soldier of the 10th, pride of Rome, back from patrol with an outsider who wishes audience with Caesar!" Flaminitus called back up to the gatehouse, where the voice debated for a minute, before answering.
"Okay, Flaminitus, but if anyone gets hurt, by Jupiter, I'll make sure this is the last time you'll walk through this gate!"
"Sir, yes, sir!" Flaminitus snapped a crisp salute as a massive creaking sound suddenly emanated from the gatehouse, followed by the huge wooden gates reluctantly swinging open. Flaminitus, followed by Ricky, walked straight into the midst of a history book.
Legionnaires were everywhere, in the tents, running around outside, on the walls. Centurions strutted around proudly, their eagle standards flapping gently in the updrafts caused by all the warm air. The two boys walked among row after row of Roman tents. Suddenly, a gladius was around Ricky's neck. He was just about to scream out to Flaminitus, who had not noticed his friend's sudden disappearance, when a voice chuckled from behind. Ricky stopped struggling. He knew that voice. "Aeneus, this isn't funny."
"Come on, let's see if we can ditch this idiot!" The gladius slipped back out from his neck, and Ricky turned to see Aeneus grinning as he beckoned for the Scot to follow him. Ricky, not able to resist the temptation of pranking Flaminitus, followed Aeneus as he ducked in between tents. From behind, Ricky could hear panicked shouts beginning to surface back on the main throughoufare, and he grinned. That is, until more voices joined in. And then more, and then more.
Then the bell began ringing. Ricky's heartbeat began to quicken as he realized what must have happened. Flaminitus' shouts had begun to spread a panic amongst the other legions, who had taken it as an intruder alert. Now, the fort was on lockdown, and he was the only non-legionnaire in the entire fort.
'Well, shit.' Ricky sighed in his brain as he continued to follow Aeneus, who was still taking him in between tents, likely making him even more suspicious.
Suddenly, the lines of tents stopped. There was one left, standing by itself. Just above the rest, it was certainly no fancier. In front stood two men, guarding the flap of what was unmistakably Caesar's command tent. However, when Aeneus and Ricky walked up to the guards, they immediately drew their swords. Aeneus raised his hands, trying to avoid a fight, while the Scot just stared warily at the sharp iron tips of the two swords pointed at their chests.
"Hey, calm down. Aeneus of the 12th here with someone who wishes to speak with Caesar." The guards did not step aside, however.
"The fort is on lockdown. Only centurions are allowed to see Caesar right now." The one on the left rumbled in a guttural voice.
“Hey, come on man, we need to talk with - urk!” Aeneus’ protests were cut off by a sword poking into his jugular, the tip dangerously close to making him bleed out on the ground. The legionnaire smiled grimly.
“Alright then, we’ll just take you before Caesar, and see what he thinks,” the other one said. They motioned for the two new prisoners to turn around, which they did, and began to walk through the camp on a forced march.
Finally, they reached a cluster of men, formed in a circle around something that Ricky could not see. The two legionnaires shouted as the group reached the edge of their huddle, and the men in the middle parted like the sea to allow them through to the middle. Inside was the most larger-than-life figure Ricky had ever seen.
His close-cropped haircut topped a figure of slender muscle, and his piercing eyes showed nothing but cold, calculation ambition. Speaking of his eyes, they settled on the two men being brought into the circle, and one eyebrow raised up in a questioning manner, seeing the outraged legionnaire and the other man, barely into his teens, judging by his looks, glaring at him in a mix of anger and awe. He stepped down from the small stand he had been ordering from and approached the two, who had come to a stop.
“What is this? Two captives, one dressed as a legionnaire, and the other…” he took a step forward to inspect Ricky closer. “Yes. You come from Britannia, correct?” Ricky nodded slowly. Caesar laughed at this. "What, are the Britons really still as uneducated as to not speak?” His men laughed at this. Ricky, however, was not amused. Standing up to his full height, which was about as tall as Caesar, he stared him in the eye. Then he spoke.
“You may think us Britons are still uneducated barbarians, but no. We are a proud nation, we are educated, and we managed to wither the storm of time. You have no leverage over me, and you know it. Don’t act like you do.” Ricky kept up the glare, and Caeser matched it. Intense silence reigned for a few moments, before someone… very familiar cleared his throat. Both men turned to see Aeneus, who thrust out his arms as to say ‘that’s it? Come on!’.
“Um, yeah, so, um…” Ricky rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “yeah. We’re not trying to kill you, one of our friends panicked when we played a prank on him and raised the alarm. We actually came here to propose an agreement. We’re creating a military campaign, and we were hoping you’d lend us a legion for the conquest.” Ricky explained slowly.
Caesar looked around at his men. “You know what, boy, I like you. Fiery, yet elegant. In fact, I’ll take you as my champion, and lend you my Legio V Alaudae for your campaign. If you can perform well with them,” he spat the last word venomously, as if it had a foul taste, “Then I may consider upping your armament, so to speak.”
“Many thanks to you, Caesar. I shan’t let you down!”
“I would hope not.” Just then, the crowd parted to reveal the form of Chrysalis, her eyes swinging wildly before centering on Ricky. She ran up to him, grabbing his shoulders before shaking him violently.
“Where were you?!”
“Here,” Ricky replied to Chrysalis’ quite stupid question.
“You’re late for the next damn meeting, fool!” Then, she seemed to catch herself. “I’m sorry, it’s just that…”
Ricky cut her off. “Don’t sweat it.” Chrysalis timidly smiled. “Now, we missed a meeting?” Chrysalis nodded. “Then why are we standing here, let’s go!” But then he remembered his mission. “But first…” He clicked the button on the side, sucking up the green remnants of one of the eagle standards in the ground. The lid closed with another click, and the material in the tube changed color again, this time to a soft yellow.
"Okay, NOW let’s roll,” the two walked out of the compound. Little did they know, two certain fools were following them…
Meanwhile in Canterlot…
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am pleased to report that Pinkie was released from the hospital this morning, although still in a leg brace. Thankfully, the shot didn’t harm any tendons or muscles, but it fractured the bone. I hope that Ricky is having a terrible time down there. If you got Luna to check for me, I would be deeply grateful. It would make us much less sad. Did you know even Pinkie could get sad? I didn’t either. It’s all his fault, and I want to make sure he’s suffering.
On a lighter topic, the next friendship report should be arriving soon!
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Celestia smiled as she read the letter from her student. Her little pony was feeling better, and she could make them even happier if she got Luna to dreamwalk in his head, not hard at all. “Lightning Strike?” she asked the guard on station next to her. He briskly snapped to attention.
“Yes, your highness?”
“I need you to fetch Luna for me, please.”
“Yes, your highness.” He left the room. A few minutes later, he returned with Luna, who looked at her sister questioningly.
“Sister? What is it?”
“Twilight has requested a favor of you. It would cheer her and her friends up greatly to know that ricky is being properly punished for his crime. She wishes for you to dreamwalk in his mind tonight.”
Luna could hardly believe her ears. She had been wanting to speak with him ever since she had first heard of the incident, and here was a sanctioned chance to do it! She had to contain her enthusiasm, however. She didn’t trust her sister for some reason, she just had a nagging feeling not to. “I shall see to it, sister,” she said evenly.
“Good, that is all, dear sister.” Celestia smiled, which Luna returned before turning and leaving.
‘And now, we prepare to talk to Ricky Welfork, charged and convicted by Equestrian law,’ she thought as she walked away.