Breaking News
LOCATION: Diego Garcia
TIME: 1445 Zulu
Gyvon was almost ready for the press conference. His Dress White uniform was as crisp and clean as the day he was issued it. To his right, Twilight was getting ready for the big event as well. She was a last minute addition that Princess Celestia insisted on, despite Gyvon's objections. He had spent the better part of the past day coaching Twilight on how to deal with the Press.
"Alright, let's go over this again." he said.
"Don't speak unless spoken to directly." Twilight reiterated for what seemed like the thousandth time. "Answer questions as simply as I can, giving yes or no answers when possible. Do not volunteer too much information about my personal life. Do NOT mention anything on the 'classified list'." She then looked up at Gyvon. "Why are you so worried?"
"Twilight, the media scares the crap out of me." Gyvon said. "I'd rather go up against Galvatron solo, while I was still fully human, than speak to a reporter." As he was talking, he put the finishing touches on his "Salad Bar" of medals. "They can take the most benign statement, and twist it to make anyone look like a monster if you're not careful."
"Why would they do that?" asked Twilight.
"To sell papers." he replied.
"Ah, don't listen to him, Twi." said General Lennox, having just joined them wearing civilian clothes. "The media's not all bad. Special Forces types like John just have an intrinsic distrust of reporters." He then turned to Gyvon with a serious look on his face. "However, it's not always unfounded. You are gonna be ambushed out there."
"I figured as much, Bill. Anything specific?"
"Your file got leaked." Lennox replied, causing Gyvon's eyes to widen in shock.
"When?"
"Last night. I just found out about it and came to warn you." he replied.
"What do they know?" asked Gyvon.
"Everything but your real name, date of birth, and Social Security number. All references of your real identity have been wiped clean by some outside force."
Gyvon just sighed. His bad day had just gotten worse. "Damage control?"
"Nothing today." replied Lennox. "If they ask, tell them that this conference only concerns Equestria. Any further inquiries about your 'condition' will have to wait until a later date. Next week most likely."
Gyvon then looked at his watch. It showed 1455 Zulu. The Press conference would be starting in five minutes. "Let's get this over with."
"Any questions?" asked Gyvon to the assembled reporters, having just finished briefing them and, by extension, everyone on Earth with a TV about Equestria. The silence in the room was deafening. He suspected that the only reason that the entire room of reporters didn't simultaneously yell 'BULLSHIT' is the fact that Twilight was sitting next to him in full view.
Finally, the representative from CNN stood up and raised her hand like she was in school. "Is this some kind of joke?" she asked. With that, the floodgates opened and all of the assembled reporters began talking at once, trying to shout over their colleagues.
"That went well." said Gyvon as he left the stage, followed closely by an agitated Twilight.
"Are you SERIOUS?" she asked. "That was the worst experience I have ever been through! Did that one lady seriously imply that we were..e"
"Yes she did, Twi." Gyvon replied. "Still, could've been worse."
"How the hell could that have been worse?"
"They could've outright said it, Miss Sparkle." said someone.
Turning to see who had joined them, Gyvon immediately snapped to attention. "Mr. President!"
"At ease, son." he said. "God, I wish my press conferences were that easy. At least they didn't harp on the fact that you're an Autobot too much."
"Speaking of, any idea what the official explanation's gonna be, sir?" asked Gyvon.
"The truth." replied the President. "It's simpler that way. Now, If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with Princess Celestia. Anything I should know about her, Lieutenant?"
"Just speak to her like any other Head of State." said Gyvon. "She prefers it that way. Also, tell your detail not to shoot the pink one. She's harmless."
"Will do." replied the President with a chuckle.