We made it back to New Ponyville later than expected, while the evening sky was still brilliant shades of orange and pink. The next group due for patrol sauntered over to begin their journey as we entered the square. We took their old table in the just as dinner was being served: delightful dandelion soufflés with a side of hay fries. Twilight excused herself as soon as she had finished her plate, saying that she had letters to write.
She grabbed Spike out of the crowd with her magic and took him along. He protested the whole way, clutching fistfuls of hay fries and his half eaten soufflé. In her haste, Twilight swung him by his invisible leash directly across a table, causing ponies to dive out of the way as platters covered with food flew everywhere.
Pinkie Pie and Lily doubled over with laughter at the spectacle, having to support one another or risk toppling off of the bench. Rarity, Fluttershy, and the orange pony who had introduced herself to me as Applejack came over just to see what all the fuss was about, and ended up laughing simply at the sight of those two. I joined in as well, and found it quite refreshing—I hadn’t enjoyed myself like that in a long time.
After the ponies finished wiping the mirthful tears from their eyes, a cart came by with mugs and a big barrel of cider, so the three newcomers hurried into open seats at our table. Everyone had their own mug, filled to the brim with spiced apple cider that foamed over and cascaded down the sides. I don’t know where they were producing the barrels from, but the flow of cider never relented—the serving ponies were always right there with a new barrel and another mug-full of the frothy, cold beverage.
“Imagine what Dashie would say if she knew we were drinking her favorite cider without her,” Pinkie Pie said with a giggle.
I listened in silence as the ponies talked, not wanting to interrupt the pleasant conversation between good friends, but then they noticed my lack of participation and determined to invite me into their circle. Every pony except for Lily asked me all sorts of questions, mostly about what my world was like, but eventually they started straying into questions about my family and I grew uncomfortable rather quickly. I think the ponies could sense my hesitation, all save for Pinkie Pie. The question was bound to come sooner or later.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Pinkie asked, grinning as she anticipated my response. Of all the ponies to ask me that, why did it have to be her?
I slowly shook my head. “You know what, it’s been a long day, and I’m pretty tired . . . “
Awkwardly excusing myself, I made my way back to Twilight’s hut, where I found her reading a thick old tome in the common area. Just like last night, Spike was sawing logs from his spot at the foot of her bed. As soon as she noticed me, Twilight closed the book and gave me her full attention.
“Hello, Max. Did you have a good time?” I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, and if I were being honest, the evening had been wonderful up until the last five minutes. I tried to focus on the rest of the night, gathering my wits for a moment before replying.
“I had a great time,” I said, with a half-hearted smile that I hoped would convince her. “The cider was delicious, and your friends are good company.”
“I’m glad you think so,” she smiled, cocking her head to the side and raising an eyebrow quizzically. “Are you ready for another patrol tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I think I am.”
This time, my smile was genuine.
*****
“Move!” Twilight shouted, knocking me aside. So far, my second day on patrol with her group was going swimmingly. I flew sideways into the bushes, just a split-second before the meaty paw of a huge, lumbering beast cut through the air where I had been standing. Slobber dripped from his chin as the creature struggled to process this sudden and unexpected turn of events.
“Over here, ugly!” Pinkie Pie had come up right behind him and promptly delivered a powerful kick with her hind legs. The massive brute reeled forward, but was caught by two of his kin and shoved back toward our group. Lily flew down from the tree she had been perched on and collided, hooves first, with his head. That was the final straw which allowed him to slip the burdens of consciousness. The two pack mates he blundered in with did not take kindly to his defeat.
“What are these things?” I called to Twilight as I ducked another gnarled paw.
Twilight was pouring all of her concentration into levitating an old, rotted tree trunk and slamming it into the nearest of the strange, misshapen canines. I don’t think she even heard me.
“They’re called Diamond Dogs!” Lily yelled, buffeting the last one with her wings while Pinkie cannoned her hooves into its gut. Oh, now she’s talking to me? That’s a clear violation of her rule. I’ll have to bring that up with her.
Twilight had just finished pummeling her adversary into senselessness when the Diamond Dog that Lily and Pinkie were teaming up on toppled over with a ground-shaking thud.
“Twilight, I think they know that we’re here now,” Pinkie said. She was still huffing and puffing from the confrontation, while I was doing the same and hoping that those things wouldn’t wake up anytime soon.
“But they couldn’t know exactly where! Probability dictates that they will be unable to determine our precise location for another month!” Twilight seemed to be pleading with the powers that be.
Lily rolled her eyes. “Let’s face facts, Twilight. The Everfree Forest isn’t that big; it was bound to happen sooner or later. We need to get back to New Ponyville and warn the others.” Twilight absently nodded, lost in thought.
“Let’s go,” Lily put a wing around Twilight and gently led her back the way we came.
We were only a couple of miles out from New Ponyville—they told me that this was the closest any of them had ever seen the allies of Dissonance come to finding their temporary home, and according to Twilight, the first time that the Diamond Dogs had ventured beyond the lesser western portion of the forest. The day to day routine was becoming dangerous.
When we were halfway home, I noticed something unusual on the path ahead.
“Is that a muffin?” As soon as I had spoken, Lily’s head snapped up like I had shocked her.
“A wha—” she started, trailing off once she noticed it too. She said something under her breath and trotted ahead to inspect the muffin. She started searching the trees around the path, and seemed to be working up the courage to call out into the forest when a massive form came crashing toward us. Some of the ancient trees snapped in half and some were torn from their roots, narrowly missing us as they fell all around our patrol. Two more burly Diamond Dogs burst from the forest, scattering branches and birds’ nests every which way. Before we could respond, one smacked Twilight aside while the other grabbed Lily, pinning her wings to her body with both hands. Pinkie and I took a step back to size up the situation; Twilight was clearly unconscious, and Lily was struggling within the vicelike grip.
The Diamond Dog who hit Twilight began to chuckle. “Peek a boo, little ponies! We find you!” As though he were noticing me for the first time, he sized me up and erupted into full on laughter. “And who is you? Not pony.”
Instead of responding, I tried to whisper to Pinkie Pie.
“Hey!” He growled. “No hush. I am talking. Answer question.” I kept my mouth shut. Pinkie gave me a reassuring glance.
“You need answer . . . A muffin!” His threat was cut short once he caught sight of the baked treat lying on the path. “I seen muffin before.“
The other Diamond Dog, still holding Lily, leaned over and lowered his voice. “Uh, boss—we be chasin’ the dumb pony what likes muffins for a bunch-a days.”
That elicited another chuckle. “Of course I know’d that! That stupid bubble pony, without a brain.”
“My. Name. Is. Derpy!” The grey blur of a Pegasus pony exploded from the treetops and veered straight toward the leader of the pack. He threw up his arms to protect his head, but it wasn’t enough; she struck with enough force to send him sailing head over tail. In shock, the other Diamond Dog loosened his grip on Lily. She dropped to the ground, and immediately kicked his legs out from under him. Toppling in my general direction, I jabbed my elbow hard into the side of the Diamond Dog’s head. He ended up hitting the ground unconscious, just a short moment before his boss finally stopped flipping through the air due to an untimely collision with a willow tree.
Lily collapsed to her knees, desperately trying to replace the air that had been squeezed from her lungs. Derpy seemed a bit loopy after hitting that Dog as hard as she did. She stumbled to and fro for a little while until she ended up by the muffin, which she promptly ate. This was the first time that I was able get a good look at her—she was definitely the pony I had seen in the forest two nights ago. Her eyes reminded me of the plumber who had been working on my apartment building back home, and she had a burst of bubbles on her flank.
Twilight groaned as she rolled over into a sitting position, all four of her legs tucked beneath her. Pinkie Pie was the only pony unscathed after the ambush, so she trotted over toward Twilight to check on her. Derpy turned around, crumbs tumbling from her mouth, and faced Lily.
“D-Derpy . . . ” Lily wheezed, once she had gathered enough strength. “We’ve b-been looking for you. I need t-to tell you . . . ”
Derpy threw herself down in front of Lily, wrapping both of her forelegs around Lily’s shoulders in a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry sis,” Lily squeaked, her voice thick with emotion. Both of their eyes brimmed with tears.
“I missed you so much,” Derpy sniffed. “I’m sorry too. I love you, Lily.” Lily nuzzled her neck in response.
Twilight watched reverently from a distance. Pinkie started to hop up and down with excitement.
“Yay! We found you! We found you! We found you!” Pinkie bounced all around, over fallen trees and between the prone forms of the Diamond Dogs. Twilight managed a lopsided smile.
“We need to get back and warn the town, before more Diamond Dogs or others show up,” Twilight said softly.
Lily and Derpy rose to their feet together and we all set off toward New Ponyville. On the way back, more apologies, hugs, and tears were shared—I found it hard to maintain my grudge against Lily after that. Maybe we had more in common than I realized.