//------------------------------// // Spliceing and Diceing (Edited 8-28-2015) // Story: A Boy and his Box // by Jake Witt //------------------------------// "WOOOOOOAH! Woah there pony! Reformed? Discord, Lord of Chaos and Slauter? Reformed?" "SLAUTER?!" Twilight exclaimed, now the one needing to take a seat. "History books? I love 'em a lot. I love 'em to pieces... He mass murdered me, Box, and many ponies! Reformed! Ponies, who can never return to life. Who only live once. Until that fateful one hundred years before his stoning, he focused on me and Box!" My finger seemed to have wings as it flew faster than Luna in the air, "You can make him soft, but reform is impossible to the max, and yes, I said 'to the max' to drill the warning into thick pony heads, who believed that last time! Unless this place actually advanced that much or found the kindest thing in existence, it wont work." "That's why he only cares about Fluttershy," Pinkie said, slurping down sugar. "Oh. ...Well. That sounds like him, always trying to find a pet, I guess." "A pet? That isn't entirely worrying. But please, can you tell us more about the 'Lord of Slauter' side of him?" Twilight asked with another clip board, a scroll, and glasses teleporting into place. "You are aware it's rude to spread rumors and talk about friends behind their backs, right Princess of Friendship? I mean, really?" I shook my head, "You only noticed the odd silence from Pinkie? tsk tsk. Shame on you for not questioning that. I'm actually bored of waiting here for a troll moment or plot development while you're here calling Twilight short and me a murderer," they all stared at me in anger, shock, and... whatever. Box simply ignores me after a second, "What? I lost a bet so I'm Twinkie for a day! Or less... heehee! This was not as fun as I hoped, sadly. Any way, keep going." I waved my hoof, "You were talking about 'that meanie Discord' and his shenanigans, right?" Pinkiecord sat in it's seat drinking limitless tea from a sugar-filled gallon sized tea cup and tapping it's hooves. Twilight breaks the stunned silence with, "What are you doing, Box?" "Nice save." All eyes are on- Oh Luna, what the hay?! Discord Pie turns to me with at least fifty, more or less, blue eyes. He even opened his mouth to reveal more! Oh my Luna, my dear Luna, I am scared- no -grossed out of my mind! "Darn it, stop!" I cried, trying to look away. "Discord stop!" Twilight said looking almost as green as grass, holding down her lunch like the rest of us as Discord covered himself in bleeding yellow eyes and big blue eyes. "Oh fine!" he-she said followed by a spin that turns him into a... a... Box starts staring at Pinkiecord... looking a bit slimmer than the actual Pinkie with a wet mane over it's face. She gives him a wink that caused him to fall over like a statue. I got up to my feet, "That's it. You and me, outside, we fight!" She regains his normal draconequus form as he smirks back, "Yo, Pinkie, times up! So you want to duel? Let's go!" As we walk out the door, Box injects me with a blue liquid before saying, "Temporary DNA splice. Remember our deal from earlier?" A shook my head, "OK, you currently have a temporary change as an edge. Good luck." Discord pulls me outside with a yo-yo, flinging me towards him. My heart was pounding, senses felt weird, my old skills returning to me, and two swords in my hands... wait, two swords? I cut the rope with my left sword and caught Discord's talon with a sudden free hand before swing DiscAnvil over my head, almost resulting in being crushed by him landing on me with his new weight. I use that said Discord anvil to repair a "Smite II Bow" I had on me, cracking his body before I smacked Discord's head, missing him as he bound me in a snake hug... I fell to my back, losing air as he tightened his grip. I flipped my hand and checked out my dual swords, one gold "Knock Back V" and stone "Flame IV". "Hey... Dissy... go away!" I said, trying to sound awesome, before tapping his red tail with my gold sword as he flew off my body by the power of it's enchantment. "Wow, I should've said 'I needed an adult'. Meh." He recovered as Diskite and charged at me as a Discord-Dart train. I stuck TNT in the train from a distance, clotheslining the still speeding, but now returning Discord who switched our positions to catch and pile drive me as Royal Rumblecord... what? You have imagination, use it! I pull my head out of the ground as Do Do Discord starts pecking at me, from behind a dark green chest plate slid past my legs and under me. "When in Rome, dress like Caesar!" I said, donning my only piece of armor... [EMERALD CHESTPLATE: BLAST RESISTANCE II] ...interesting. Discord bumped his beak and then slammed a minotaur fist at my head, I set a command block under me and teleported. Discord smashed it instead of me as I reappeared above him, impaling Discord with my gold sword and stabbing with my stone. He was tossed from under me and was on fire, "Uncle! Oh, Uncle! I give!" I doused him with a water bucket in time to see a butter blur dash over to me. "What are you doing to poor Discord?!" Fluttershy asked, her mane and rose adorned green dress flowing in the wind as her teeth gritted a rose. We double-taked as El Discoro (bull fighter... I guess?) held her with his red caped arm. I looked up to see I was wearing horns... so... LegoTorro? Screw it. "My dear Fluttershy, we were just playing a game!" he placed his paw arm over his head in a 'woe was me' looking poise, "He challenged me, it got rough, and I lost FAIR! But alas friendship is with me- Well, actually no. But once again, it was against me in a flash!" in a flash of light, me and Discord wore bandages and I had a crutch as he had a hospital bed with an I.V. in his paw wrist and Nurse Shy holding a clip board next to him. "Discord, please stop." she said in her soft voice, a crowd gathering around. "But you look adorable~! I could eat you!" I was dressed as hay fries, Shy was mustard, and he was a ketchup-tarter sauce Discord. I looked back to Twilight, "Can I see those files now?" A few hours later, we looked through most of the files. Box was about make a permanent splice serum incase I gave him my ax or now its his [ALL GIVER] to keep, but who cares? He is messing with my blood and his blood in the machine, looking for the perfect blend worth giving me as I discuss with Twilight about some ideas. "OK. Lets put Appleoosa and Las Pegasus together. Grab Canterlot 1A, 2D, 3E, Ponyville Pink File 10, Blue 7, 8, and 9." Twilight requested Spike to bring to the table, "I found our main focus in the form of these prints... and blue paws..." Twilight informed, showing the images. My eyebrow rose as I began to remember, "Hold on..." "We thought Discord was pulling something, but he denies it! I mean, what K9 or feline could make prints that can turn the ground, under it, blue?" Twilight asked rhetorically, pointing at the paws on each picture. "Clearly, I'm wanted or being laughed at." I replied, leaning on the block of wood I sat on. "What does it mean? I mean, why is it here to get your attention?" Twilight asked, "I don't think those 'Displaced'-" "For one, I'm not wearing green stripes anytime soon," I looked up from the folders, "If this is a serious call for me... We'll be looking for 'Blue's Clues'." "Who's Blue?" Spike asked. "Clearly not me, are you?" I asked, to be honest I never had a good history with this. Either it means death or a call for help. "Jake, I'm being serious." Twilight said, slamming a hoof. "It's Lego! L-E-G-O. Meaning 'let's build' and I'm serious, too. You read about me finding a blue paw print, right?" I asked, looking for response, "No? OK. I found my first one as a bad joke, only I understand the joke. When I came here, I was dressed, and sort of still am, as Steve from a game called Minecraft." Twilight nodded, taking notes. "In my world, there's a show for toddlers, or foals in this world, called 'Blue's Clues' where the host Steve looks for three blue paw prints his dog leaves. Well for me: its either a taunt, a call for help, or a sign of death." "So somepony is asking for help?" Twilight asked, a hoof on her chin. "Doubt it. Since I haven't been free long, I doubt word spread within two days and a train ride nor do I think anybody believes I'm real." "Really? I was well informed about your existence. By the way, how was banishment?" Twilight asked. "Meh. Could've been worse." I shrugged, "Stay in a rotten cell, meet ponies I outlive, and curse the zebra that wouldn't take a smile as my reward for his rescue. When you can't die of hunger... endless ticking can drive you mad... until you're used to it." "I'm sorry to hear that. By the way, what ticking?" Twilight asked. "When I'm hungry, my stomach makes a patting sound as its unseen meter deteriorates and those pats grow louder into a ticking noise. Like an annoying bomb. Luckily the potion keeping me from starving to death expired, thanks to Pinkie, so now it can't follow me into this body nor any of the future ones." "Interesting... Can do some research on you, later? Or maybe a survey?" she asked, "The books said you were sent to a planet called 'Jupiter'." From that point on, we wasted time in conversation for a while... instead of preparing for danger.