Whiskey Lullaby

by Smitty91


Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Closure. Was that was Twilight had said that she needed? Closure. Yes, that was it. That was what Rarity needed. But how was she supposed to find closure? She paced back and forth in her bedroom, racking her brain over and over again on how to tackle her guilt. She'd been feeling like this for months on end. Therapy was helping some, but she needed more.

Sighing heavily, she flopped down on the bed, her body sinking into the mattress of her bed. She stared up at the ceiling while the comfort and softness of her bed began to envelope her so much that she could easily have fallen asleep right then and there. She turned her head to look over at the clock on her bedside table. It was about three thirty in the afternoon. Her eyes met the ceiling yet again as she went back to thinking about what course of action she should take.

Of course she hadn't bothered to pick up Sweetie Belle from Applejack's, feeling the need to be alone so that she could get her head cleared and come up with a way to solve the problem that she currently had. Thankfully, Applejack had agreed to look after her little sister while she tackled her dilemma.

A tear fell from her eye. She missed him so much, probably just as much as Twilight did, if not more. True, the two of them hadn't exactly been close, so maybe that was why his passing was affecting Twilight more than her. Even so, they had still been friends. After all, he had been her biggest pillar of support throughout her career, giving her his honest opinion on outfits and what, at least he thought, could make them better. His ideas weren't always the best course of action, but she would always take them to heart and try them out, if only to keep from hurting his feelings sometimes. She had even taken a bite of that wretched pie he had made while declaring servitude to Applejack, just to keep him from feeling hurt by her refusal to eat it. She smiled at the memory, remembering that it had tasted like charcoal.

Her gaze fell from the ceiling to her stomach as it growled. That was right. She hadn't eaten breakfast today. All she'd had was a cup of java and that was about it. It was well past lunchtime and dinner was fast approaching. Nonetheless, she saw no harm in getting something to much on, to tide her over until dinner. Strangely enough, she didn't really feel like eating, much less getting up and cooking something for dinner. With how many bits she made from her career, she could easily just go out to eat instead of needlessly dirtying up dishes just to make a meal for one pony.

She stopped to look at herself in the mirror and struck a pose. She did look malnourished, but that was to be expected given that she'd had no appetite as of late due to her depression over Spike's passing away. On the other hoof, Sweetie Belle had been eating constantly, to the point where Rarity had had to put a chain and lock on the fridge and put a spell on the doorway to the kitchen to keep Sweetie Belle from gorging herself. Obviously, the little filly and Spike had been closer than Rarity or anypony else had realized. Instead of talking to her older sister about how she was feeling regarding Spike's death, she had decided to start eating her emotions, finding comfort in food. Then again, Rarity had never actually taken the time to talk to Sweetie Belle about Spike's death, probably because the older unicorn had been too busy fussing over herself and the orders that needed feeling. She glared at her reflection, hating that despite being the Element of Generosity, she could be so selfish and stubborn sometimes. And now, because of her selfishness, her little sister was a big, fat slob who could barely go through any door without getting stuck. The filly must have been having a field day at Applejack's, what with all the food that Applejack and her family cooked. The first thing she was going to do as soon as Sweetie Belle came home was put her on a strict diet and exercise regime to help her lose the excess weight she'd put on over the past few months.

She continued on with her journey, stopping when she reached the first floor and noticed the kitchen a few feet to her right. She shook her head. There was no sense in making dishes dirty for just one meal. It wouldn't kill her to spend a few bits on a meal at a diner. With her popularity as a fashion designer, she could easily get the spent bits back in no time at all.

Exiting the Boutique, she thought about maybe stopping by Applejack's to see how Sweetie Belle was doing, just to check up on her and see that she was all right. Hopefully, the filly hadn't eaten them out of house and home. Still, that could wait until after she'd gotten something to eat. Her growling stomach wouldn't allow her to skip a meal long enough to see how her little sister was faring at her friend's.

Maybe it was her depressed mood or maybe it was because she was thinking of Sweetie Belle, but either way she was craving something sweet. Sugarcube Corner was the ideal place for getting her fix. It wasn't as if a little something sugary wasn't going to give her a paunch or anything. What would a few chooclatey treats do to her besides hype her up and add a slight bulge to her stomach? She could easily work it off on her way to Applejack's and back.

She wasn't too surprised to see Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash eating and chatting together when she entered the eatery. After all, they were best friends. However, Rainbow Dash appeared to be doing most of the talking, Fluttershy being the shy, quiet type and all. Their eyes met when Fluttershy looked past Rainbow Dash and noticed Rarity entering. The cream-colored Pegasus waved her over, causing Rainbow Dash to turn her head and smile and wave. She thought, What the hay, and decided to go ahead and join them before ordering. Besides, they were probably wondering how she was doing anyway.

She was actually a little surprised that Rainbow Dash was so elated to see her, especially considering how little time they had spent together. Nonetheless, she sat down on one side of the table, between the two of them.

“So,” Rainbow Dash said, smiling and resting a hoof on the side of her head, “how goes therapy?”

“Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy scolded quietly, glaring.

“No, it's okay,” Rarity corrected her friend. She turned to Rainbow Dash and grinned. “It's going pretty great, actually. I really think I'm close to a breakthrough.”

“That's so great, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “Before you know it, you'll be out of there and back to your old job in no time.”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “I second that.” She lifted her glass and clinked it with Fluttershy's before rearing back her head and taking a swig.

“Are you hungry?” Fluttershy inquired Rarity. She pushed a basket of chili cheese fries towards the unicorn.

Rarity stared down at the basket of fries. The smell alone was so intoxicating that she could just bury her face in the basket and eat them all at once, but that wasn't ladylike. She wouldn't be caught dead doing such a thing. She looked up at Fluttershy. “Thank you, kindly, but I'd prefer getting my own food, thanks.”

“Oh, o-okay.” Fluttershy pushed the basket of fries back to the center of the table. “What are you getting?”

“I don't know yet, but I'm in the mood for some chocolate.”

“I recommend the chocolate milkshake,” Fluttershy said. She took a sip of the chocolate milkshake in front of her. “It's simply to die for. What a taste?” Once again, she offered her own food towards her friend.

“No, thanks,” Rarity replied. “I'll be right back.” She trotted over to the main counter. “Hello, Mr. Cake. Pinkie Pie busy cooking today?”

Mr. Cake nodded. “Yes, she's been cooking up a storm.” He and Rarity both jumped when they heard an explosion, followed by Pinkie Pie yelling, “I got it!” He turned his head to see the kitchen coated in dough and Pinkie Pie happily, and greedily, wolfing it down as she swam in it. He chuckled and shook his head before turning back to Rarity. “What can I get for you?”

“Uh . . .” Rarity raised her head to scan the menu and put a hoof to her chin, tapping it while she thought about her choices. “Hmm . . .” She squinted and finally looked back down at Mr. Cake. “I'll take some cheesecake with a small helping of whipped cream and a chocolate milkshake, if you please.”

“Of course,” Mr. Cake replied. “That'll be ten bits.”

Rarity levitated exactly ten bits from her saddlebag and set them on the counter.

“And we'll call you when your order's ready,” Mr. Cake added while he deposited the bits into the register.

“Please and thank you,” Rarity remarked before turning and walking back over to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. As she was walking away, she heard Bon Bon mutter, “About time. Ow!” Obviously, Lyta hadn't found her comment too pleasant and had chastised her by jabbing a hoof in her side.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were in the midst of a discussion about whether or not Fluttershy should ask Bulk Biceps out on a date.

“Come on, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash urged. “You totally have a crush on that guy. It's obvious to me and everypony else.”

“Oh, I don't know,” Fluttershy said. “I do like him, but he's not exactly dating material. Besides, I don't even have a crush on him.”

“Well, who do you have a crush on?”

“I can't say.”

“Who?”

“You're going to laugh at me.”

“Who?!”

“You!”

Rainbow Dash became silent while her face fell. Her eyes darted about the room before finally making contact with Fluttershy's eyes again. “Uh . . . wow . . .”

“Ladies,” Rarity said, taking her seat by them. “Did you happen to find anything interesting to talk about while I was gone?”

“Well, apparently,” Rainbow Dash said, “Fluttershy here has a crush on me.”

Rarity beamed at Fluttershy. “You do? That's so cute.”

“Well, real cute,” Rainbow Dash said, monotone. She cleared her throat and, in desperate need to change the subject, said, “So what are you doing back here in Ponyville, Rarity?”

“Twilight thought it'd be good for me to come back and get my bearings, to get some 'closure', as she put it. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what that means, but if it helps me finally move on, then I'm willing to give it a try.”

Rainbow Dash breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. That means we can finally go back to the way things used to be. You know, before all this drama started up with you and Spike.” When Rarity glared at her, she hastily added, “Not that that's a bad thing. I mean, we've all been struggling as well, but we've all managed to move past that and move on with our lives, all without the help of some therapist, thank you very much.”

“We all react differently to different things, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy stated. “So what if Rarity is attending therapy to help her move on with her life? It doesn't mean anything.”

Rarity nodded her head. “Have either of you spoken with Sweetie Belle recently?”

Both of her friends shook their heads.

“Oh,” Rarity continued. “Well, I was planning on stopping by Applejack's to see how she's been doing since I've been gone.”

“I'm sure she's fine, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “You know as well as I do that Applejack won't let anything happen to her.”

Rarity nodded her head. “I'm most certain that she won't, but I'm still going to go check up on her to make sure that she hasn't gotten herself and her friends killed.”

“Trying to get their cutie marks is going to be the death of them, I swear,” Rainbow Dash agreed, stuffing a few chili cheese fries in her mouth.

Rarity winced. “Ugh! Rainbow Dash, how can you eat that repulsive stuff?”

“Easy,” Rainbow Dash replied. “With how many calories I burn while flying, I'll be able to lose any pounds I put on in no time.”

“Really?” Rarity was taken aback by this statement. “I didn't know you could burn calories whilst flying.”

“Of course,” Rainbow Dash continued. “Flying is like form of exercise, like bucking trees is Applejack's.”

“Cheesecake with chocolate shake,” Mr. Cake called.

“Oh, there's my order,” Rarity chirped, getting up and walking over to the counter. Once she got back to the table, she began eating while continuing on with her conversation with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

It was half past five by the time the trio broke up. Fluttershy left to make sure that her animal friends had dinner before going off to bed while Rainbow Dash soared off to clear away the clouds before the day was done. Finally, Rarity set out for Applejack's to check up on Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were playing together in the front yard when Rarity arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Apple Bloom was jumping up and down on Sweetie Belle's big, round white stomach while the latter giggled madly as her belly jiggled, making its contents slosh audibly. Rarity smiled, seeing how happy Sweetie Belle while living at Applejack's. At least she was behaving herself and staying out of mischief. Though, Rarity's fears seemed to have been realized, as she noticed that Sweetie Belle seem to have gotten fatter while living with Applejack. That shouldn't have been surprising, given how much Applejack herself was able to eat. It was still kind of jarring to see how big and round the little filly had gotten over the past few weeks.

Rarity walked past the pair (both of them said, “Hello” to her and she returned the gesture) and up the front steps to the front door. She lifted a hoof and knocked gently, at least ten times, before stepping back and waiting for Applejack to answer the door. Instead of Applejack, however, Big Mac answered the door. She grinned and said, “Hello, Big Macintosh. Is Applejack home?”

The large, red stallion looked behind him, turned back to Rarity, and uttered a deep, “Yep.” He stepped aside to let her squeeze inside the home. Not surprisingly, Applejack was helping Granny Smith cook in the kitchen. Though she'd already eaten, Rarity couldn't deny the fact that the scent in the kitchen as she entered was downright heavenly.

Hearing hoofsteps, Applejack turned and beamed when she saw Rarity enter the room. “Howdy there, Rarity.” She tipped her Stenson hat to the unicorn. “What brings you here/”

“I'm just stopping by to check up on Sweetie Belle,” Rarity replied.

“Care to stay and have some dinner?” Applejack inquired.

Rarity shook her head. “Thank you, but I've already eaten. Has Sweetie Belle been behaving herself since I've been gone?”

“Course she has,” Applejack said. “She's been a little angel. Never had to get onto her but for a few times for sneaking up in the middle o' the night and trying to get food.”

“That's what I was afraid of. Forgive my language, but she's been eating like a little piggy lately, so I was afraid of–what are you staring at?” She stopped talking when she noticed that Applejack had a worried look on her face. She turned her head and her face fell when she saw Sweetie Belle standing there. Before anypony could say or do anything, the little filly burst into tears and ran down the hall, bawling. Rarity winced when she heard the door to Apple Bloom's bedroom slam shut. She sighed and turned back to Applejack. “I'll, uh, I'll just go. Tell Sweetie Belle I'm sorry.”

Applejack nodded. “Of course. Ah'll talk to ya soon.”

Without another word, Rarity headed towards the front door. She stopped and walked down the hallway. She stopped at Apple Bloom's room and pressed an ear to the door. Her heart sank when she heard Sweetie Belle bawling her eyes out. Her ears drooped and silenlty whispered, “I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle.” Feeling as horrible as she thought she could, she turned and walked back down the hall and out the front door.

***

Later in her bedroom, Rarity mentally scolded herself. Damn it, Rarity! What in Celestia's name is wrong with you? Why can't you stop hurting the ones you love? She stopped in the middle of her pacing as the question caught her off guard. Ironically enough, the same question had been plaguing her mind ever since Spike's passing. Now she'd hurt her one and only sister. Quite possibly, she felt even worse about hurting Sweetie Belle than Spike because, after all, they were family. Emotionally, she and Spike were family also, but she and Sweetie Belle were closer than either one of them had been to Spike since they were siblings.

She fell forward onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow. She inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly while she thought about what to do now. As if she didn't have enough problems plaguing her mind, now she had to figure out how to fix her broken relationship with Sweetie Belle. She cared deeply for her little sister, hence why she'd been trying to figure out a way to keep her little sister from eating herself to death. Ironically enough, she'd been more concerned about Sweetie Belle's problems than her own. It was no wonder why Rarity saw herself as a second mother to her little sister. She just hoped that Sweetie Belle would find it in her heart to forgive her and wave away the incident as if it'd never happened.

She turned on her side, lifting up her covers to bury herself within their warmth and comfort. It was only a little past seven o' clock, but she was so drained mentally, physically, and emotionally that she didn't care. She hoped that she would be able to get a good night's sleep, but she highly doubted that with how bad she felt for hurting Sweetie Belle's feelings. It hadn't even been intentional; she had just been being honest with Applejack. She had vowed never to hurt her little sister ever again, and she'd broken that vow. How in Equestria was she supposed to get to sleep now?

She yawned, lifted a hoof to shut off the lamp on her bedside table. She was so tired that she didn't even feel like doing a little reading before going off to bed. Closing her eyes, she silenlty prayed to the gods that they would supervise over her night and fill it with pleasant dreams instead of bad ones that only served to remind her of how horrible she felt right now.

***

It was around three in the morning when Rarity awoke with a start. She sat bolt upright in bed, looking to and fro, having an idea suddenly sparked within the inner depths of her brain. Yes! Of course! She knew what she had to do now, to make things all right again!

Leaping out of bed, she charged out of the Boutique, grabbing a shovel and a sack along the way and levitating them both above her while she ran throughout the town of Ponyville. There wasn't a soul on the streets of Ponyville as she ran. She was shrouded in darkness, all of the stores having closed up shop hours ago. She was completely alone, with only the light from the moon as her guide. Looking back now, she'd wished that she'd brought a lantern with her, just in case it became too dark to see. But there was no time to go back and get one. She'd already started on her journey and she was going to see it through to the end, even if it killed her. If it did indeed kill her, then at least she would finally be with her beloved yet again.

It took her over an hour to get to her destination. It was nearly five in the morning, and the moon was beginning to lower while the sun was beginning to rise, casting the sky in a beautiful shade of purples, oranges, yellows, and reds. The sight was absolutely breathtaking. Sadly, there was no time to marvel at Celestia's handiwork as she had a job to get done. She stopped at the top of the hill, bathing herself in the shade of the tree that overlooked Ponyville. The shovel and sack were dropped on the ground. Her gaze fell to the tombstone that lied before her. Carved into were the words: “Spike the dragon. Beloved friend to the end.” A few tears ran down her cheeks as she read these words. Getting herself all worked up right now was uncalled for. There was a mission to be completed.

And thus, the first shovelful of dirt was unearthed and cast to the side. She was just glad that she could easily use her magic to get the job done instead of having to do the job manually. There wa sno need to get all sweaty and dirty. Still, she would need a shower anyway when she got back home. A shower sounded so nice right about now.

Another hour or so passed as she dug, slowly but surely delving deeper and deeper into the earth. Eventually, she reached Spike's coffin and slowly pried it open, as if afraid that Spike's corpse would jump out at any time in an effort to scare the piss out of her. The door to the coffin fell against the wall of dirt beside the coffin, giving her a full view of Spike's corpse that lied within. Amazingly, Spike's body hadn't started to decay yet. Then again, it had only been a few months since his passing. The decaying process would take years before he was literally nothing but bones.

She lifted her head to glance to the left and right, just to make sure that nopony was watching before levitating Spike's body and carefully placing it in the sack. The coffin was closed and the mounds of dirt that surrounded the gravesite were once again deposited into the grave, being careful to make it seem as if the grave hadn't been disturbed at all. Levitating her objects, she darted down the hill and back home.

***

After this, nopony saw Rarity very much anymore. Sweetie Belle continued to stay with Applejack and her family until Rarity gave Applejack the word that it was okay for her to return home. Months and months went by without anypony seeing or hearing a word from Rarity. Every now and again, ponies would see her up and about in Ponyville, getting groceries or running errands. But these sightings became less and less frequent to the point where she wasn't seen at all. The “closed' sign for her shop was constantly shown in the window, prohibiting potential clients and customers from entering. Even if the shop had been open, customers and clients wouldn't have been able to get in due to the front door being locked.

Needless to say, rumors were spread regarding what was wrong with Rarity. Some ponies said, “Maybe she committed suicide.” Other ponies said, “Maybe she just wants to be alone. We shouldn't bother her.” These rumors were kept out of the ears of Sweetie Belle. The poor dear was worried enough already about her older sister. She didn't need to hear unsupported rumors about her sister that may or may not be true. So, the little filly was kept at home with the others while Applejack went into town for supplies or groceries.

If anypony was talking about her more than anypony else, it was definitely her friends and her therapist, Twilight. They were constantly talking, creating theories about where she was and what she was up to. They didn't dare attempt to approach her shop and look into her windows to see what she was doing. They wouldn't have been able to, seeing as how the windows had either been boarded up or covered with curtains.

Naturally, Sweetie Belle became increasingly worried about the whereabouts of her older sister. Sure, Applejack's had all the food that she could eat, but it didn't compare to living with her older sister. Of course they bickered and argued from time to time, but what pair of sisters didn't? Even though they did spend a great deal of their time arguing with each other, she knew that deep down Rarity truly did love and care for her. So why in blazes hadn't she come to pick her up yet? Was she really that depressed that she hadn't been able to yet get over Spike's death, even though it had been nearly a year and a half since it had occurred? What was going on? The only good thing about living with Applejack was that she'd been able to shed the weight she'd put on from her binge eating helping Applejack with the harvest and various other chores that needed tending to throughout the farm.

Some ponies brave enough to go near the Carousel Boutique were only met with silence when they tried to get Rarity's attention and ask her if anything was wrong. The Boutique remained shrouded in mystery, covered in darkness as its inhabitant stubbornly refused to come out. Fearful that she was starving to death, some ponies and her friends made the generous, kind gesture of leaving food out at her front door. When they would come back a couple of hours later to see whether or not the food had been consumed, they would notice that the food had disappeared.

Months turned to years and years turned into continuous worry and fear for Rarity's health and mental state. Sadly, nopony could get inside to interview her and ask her how she was. She remained a pony of mystery, her mental state and health never to be revealed.

It finally became too much for Twilight and the other four. By order of Princess Celestia, they orchestrated a search and seizure of Carousel Boutique. Repeatedly, Princess Celestia ordered Rarity to come out of the Boutique, but received no response. The event caused quite a crowd, as everypony in Ponyville was curious as to why their oders hadn't been fulfilled by the famous Rarity. A team of guards was standing by the front doors, waiting for Princess Celestia to give the order, if need be. Fed up with Rarity refusing to acknowledge her presence, she gave them a nod and the front door was kicked in by the guards, providing a way in. Princess Celestia nodded towards Twilight and her friends, giving them permission to enter the Boutique.

Twilight and her friends did so quietly and cautiously, not sure what exactly would happen when they entered the building. The sunlight pouring in through the hole where the front door used to be was their only means of light. They had to squint in order to make out everything and even then, they had a hard time making their way to the stairs. Luckily for them, they had been to Rarity's so many times that they could practically navigate throughout her home with their eyes closed.

“Is it safe?” Sweetie Belle asked, poking her head inside the building.

Twilight shook her head. “Just stay out there, Sweetie Belle! We'll let you know when it's safe.” With that, she led the group upstairs to the hallway that led to Rarity's room.

“Can you hear anything?” Applejack asked Twilight, who had her ear pressed up against the door.

Sighing dejectedly, Twilight pulled away from the door and shook her head. “I hear nothing.”

Rainbow Dash growled in frustration. “Enough talk! I say we bust the door down and drag her butt outside!” She charged at the door, only to be stopped halfway across the hallway by Applejack biting down on her tail and pulling her back.

“Hold on there, missy,” Applejack said. “We can't just go chargin' in there like a bunch o' buffalo. That'd be rude.”

“Who cares about being rude?!” Rainbow Dash exploded, getting to her hooves. “She's been ignoring us and everypony for years! She's the one being rude!”

“Rainbow Dash, I understand you're frustrated,” Twilight said, “but barging in her room is no way to handle this.” She cleared her throat and turned back to the door. “Rarity? Are you in there? It's us!”

“Your friends,” Fluttershy added quietly, smiling.

A short silence followed.

“Hello,” Pinkie Pie bellowed. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

Twilight glared. “Pinkie Pie, please.” Once Pinkie Pie backed off, she faced the door. “Rarity, if you won't come out, we'll have to come in.” Behind her, she heard Rainbow Dash flap her wings in agitation.

“Oh, for the love of–” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Rainbow, no,” Twilight ordered.

Before anypony could do anything, Rainbow Dash bolted across the hallway, smashing her way in the bedroom. Unfortunately, she was going so fast that she couldn't stop in time and ended up slamming against the wall across the bedroom. She didn't have time to get out of the way and ended up with the busted door pinning her against the wall. A groan and a muffled, “Help . . . me . . .” was heard as the others entered the room.

Fluttershy flew up and tended to Rainbow Dash while the others looked around the room in search of Rarity, but the unicorn didn't seem to be present in the room.

“Maybe she's in another room,” Pinkie Pie said.

Applejack gasped and pointed with a hoof. “There!” She was pointing across the room at Rarity's bed, which had curtains closed around it. “C'mon, y'all.” She led the way to the bed.

Rainbow Dash shook off the dazed feeling and flew over along with the others, although now she had a headache.

“Do you think she could be here?” Twilight asked Applejack.

“Don't know,” Applejack replied. “Won't know 'til we pull back the curtain, I suppose.” She took the curtain in her mouth and pulled it back. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open when she beheld what lie on the bed. “Oh, my . . .” she mumbled, taking a few steps back to get a full view of the display.

Nopony said anything. Nopony did anything. Which was just as well, as none of them could think of anything to do or say. They simply stared, wide-eyed, mouths agape, at what was before them, their brains unable to fully process exactly what they were seeing. The only sound heard was the sound of Fluttershy silently weeping. The others, on the other hoof, didn't move or bat an eyelash. Their eyes never left the bed, for on it was Rarity's body, not moving, not breathing. Just lying there. Her eyes didn't move, nor did they flutter open. Her corpse lied in the bed, rotting. And around her hoof was the lifeless body of Spike the dragon.