//------------------------------// // Side Battle: Six Paths to Death (part 2) // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Please make sure that "Formatting" is set to "Dark", not "Light". Thank you. A/N: The following chapter may contain spoilers. Please read with discretion. Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, Sega, and GanonFLCL. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 3 E Side 5 No, really. I couldn't eat another bite. For those of you that are just now tuning in with us, we're pitting the Mean versus the Deadly. A total of six rounds will determine which of these teams holds superiority as villainous groups. Last time, Zor just couldn't handle the G. Force! Where will the Deadly Six's momentum kick in? Will gluttony allow Zomom to take a bite out of the Mean Six's winning streak? Or will Insipid's greed steal yet another victory? I'm F and she's N. I'm B and he's W. And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills... ... to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Zomom -Alignment: Evil; The Deadly Six -Age: 133 -High physical strength; burrowing; unlimited appetite; flight; enhanced speed movements -Favorite food: Fried chicken and very large sandwiches -Dislikes being called fat -Lacks intelligence "Does this mean no dessert?" Aside from the leader Zavok, Zomom is most likely the physically strongest Zeti of the Deadly Six. Strength is all well and good, but he doesn't have much to direct those muscles other than his love for eating giant sandwiches. Even Subway doesn't offer meals two feet or longer. Yes, despite being over one hundred thirty years old, his mind has yet to grow with his body. He's also technically the slowest of the Deadly Six, but he has enhanced jumping and flight abilities to compensate. And boy does he pull his weight around. With enough stomping force, he can spin Minecraft-shaped platforms while they're falling through the air. As if that weren't dizzying enough, he can spin his arms around. Add one more to the list of people that stole Mike Haggar's double lariat. While Zomom assisted Zavok in preparing the roboticizer for Tails, he foolishly left the remains of his sandwich within reach, allowing Tails to stop the machine before its work could be completed. Yeah, the fox already has enough Mega buster action. He doesn't need more robot parts to beat up green plumbers. Zomom also has the ability to burrow and disrupt magnetic fields, though he rarely uses them. Instead, he prefers to belly flop enemies and eat anything else. Put the KFC down and hit the gym, tubby. "It'll be fun to have your little buddy scramble you like an omelet. Omelet... mmmm." ---Death Battle--- Insipid -Clone of Rarity -The Element of Avarice -Insatiable Greed (Power Copying) -Can sometimes use powers in ways that the original user never thought of -Not easily provoked; dangerous when she doesn't get something she wants -Loses stolen power "if she's bored with it" -Ignorance is bliss; is terrible at remembering names "Hey... Rarity! Can I, like, borrow you for, like, just a teensy minute?" Oh, gundam it! It's the valley girl of the group. I think it's kind of cute how she talks like that. No, N! What would R think if he heard you talking about somepony else like that? N suddenly opens her eyes wide while her cheeks turn slightly red. W-W-What? That's not... I mean... He understands... wait, no... I... Hah... that's better. Anyway, Insipid was created from a combination of Rarity's genetics and a goddess's magic. Together with her 'sisters', they form the Mean Six. In addition to not knowing how to properly talk, Insipid has a tendency to ridiculously mispronounce everybody's names except her fellow clones and Rarity, her original. *ahem* This lack of careful thought carries over to her fighting style. As the Element of Avarice, her power is that of Insatiable Greed: the ability to steal and copy the powers of others. However, she doesn't always understand how her newly acquired powers work and she sometimes discovers new methods of utilizing those powers completely by accident. There doesn't seem to be any limit to how many powers she can absorb from multiple ponies. But if she grows bored with a particular skill set, she discards it. Her body seems to take the motto of "use it or lose it" quite literally. Her slow-processing mind takes a long time to feel the sting of insults. This makes it very difficult for her to get angry enough to attack. But take away something that she wants really badly and look out! Love didn't stop her from attacking her sister CuraƧao, so there's nothing that will stop her rage against an enemy with no relation. "You ate all your hay tacos with that, like, hot sauce and junk?" ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. It's time for a- Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- Some small, yellow action figure enters the screen. He wears a brown fedora and coat and carries a whip at his side. He walks up to what looks like a giant pile of green and purple building blocks. He scratches his chin briefly before bending over. His hands that look more like C-shaped pincers quickly go to work. The Legos make a lot of clickety-clacking noises as they start stacking on top of and around each other. When the entire pile is used up, the small man backs up to admire his work. The structure is huge, probably a thousand times the size of this action figure. Meanwhile, a dark equine quietly wanders in from off screen. She eyes the item on the action figure's belt. "Can I, like, have that?" she asks. "Okay, like, thanks!" Barely having time to let out a confused grunt, the man turns around. Immediately, the pony swings the whip in her mouth and she is sent soaring up the height of the blocky structure. The fedora hides the man's eyes, but his mouth is open with concern as he pats all sides of his belt. He exclaims his disdain at his missing whip. Up at the top of the tower, the pony says something muffled through the object in her mouth. She acts confused at the fact that she currently can't speak. She turns her head and spits the obtrusive object far away. "Cha," she scoffs. "What a boring yo-yo. It only went, like, one direction." A tiny brown dot on the far ground holds up its yellow pincers before scurrying off in the direction of the whip. But Insipid's attention is quickly grabbed by some other noise. It sounds like some pony crunching away at something. She turns forward and trots a few steps. Around a green-bricked wall, she happens upon the source. A horned, yellow blob of a creature is smacking his lips while crumbs scatter around him. Where did that big guy get such a huge sandwich? Cha, she thinks. A small growling catches the dark pony off guard. She looks down at her wiggling tummy. She looks back up. Suddenly, the origin of that scrumptious food no longer matters. She trots up to the big fellow. "Hey, I want that sandwich!" she exclaims, "So, like, hoof it over!" The Zeti ignores the small noise and continues crunching away at the toasted bread. "Didn't you, like, hear me?" The pony tries speaking up again. "Hoof it over, cha!" To her dismay, the last of the amazing food item gets tossed into the creature's mouth and is swallowed in three seconds. Insipid gasps before immediately narrowing her eyes. I can't tell if that's steam coming out of her ears or just pure temper. Only now does the big guy let out a questioning grunt and look around to see a new occupant of this building. "A horsie?" he asks. "I'm not sure if I like horsies." "You're not, like, going to like this, like, pony after I'm through with you! Cha!" "FIGHT!" Insipid takes a galloping charge toward the devourer. Her horn shimmers like a sword's edge. She looks ready to kill... until she bounces off of Zomom's belly like a trampoline. She slams into the green-bricked wall behind her, comically sliding down against the flat surface. Zomom scratches his head with a finger. "Um, is horsie fighting me?" he asks before letting his arm drop to the side. "Okay, it's my turn." The big Zeti takes a giant leap. His shadow starts growing around Insipid. She quickly shakes herself before rushing to the side. Part of the brick wall crumbles as Zomom bounces off it. While the camera remains stationary, the scenery does not and appears to be leaning far to the right. Insipid scrambles along the blocks. She manages to hoist herself over the left corner just as the structure finds its new balance. Zomom crashes down, causing Insipid to bounce into the air. He quickly spins himself around with fists extended. Several slapping noises can be heard before Insipid gets smacked to the blocks on the left side of the screen. She slowly stands back on all fours before turning around. Her expression is filled with fumes. Zomom stomps toward her, but she stands there with her mouth open in a small "O". Something orange starts flowing through the air from the Zeti to the pony's mouth, though he makes no action to acknowledge this. Insipid suddenly leaps up, performs a flying loop, and smacks into Zomom's face. She then proceeds to spin around with her front hooves extended. The sound effects guy decides to throw in the sound of a giant drill over the numerous bashing noises. Zomom exclaims and grunts as he falls onto his back. Though, he quickly rights himself up again. He takes another giant leap. This time, Insipid follows him to his height. They both spin their respective limbs around and the double lariats match each other punch for punch. But the stalemate ends when the pony loops over and delivers a back kick to the Zeti's head. He hurtles down before crashing into the top of the block tower. Insipid yawns. If I wanted to fly, I could've just, like, taken it from Grayscale or Havocwing. This is, like, so boring. Like a cartoon character looking down, Insipid starts falling like a brick. Her hooves miss the top of the Lego structure by a foot as she continues falling. It's about this time when she realizes that her life is in danger at this terminal velocity. Frantically, she waves her hooves around to no avail. She lets out a scream as she falls below the camera's visible sight. In the downward distance, a splash can be heard. Meanwhile, Zomom sits back up and rubs his head and face from the pain. "Hey, I just realized something," he remarks. "I forgot the mustard for my lunch!" "K.O.!" ---Death Battle--- Now that was a battle that reached new heights. Zomom's lack of intellect is a hindrance when it comes to strategy, but he still has the strength and endurance to withstand some serious punishment. It didn't help that Insipid's intelligence isn't that much higher. While Insipid does have the power to steal and copy other powers, she tends to lose interest and forget what she's doing at the worst of times. Other power stealers, like Rogue, would have used powers in response to their fears, not lose them just because they forgot about them. Zomom's chances were just slightly better thanks to his bottomless pit for a stomach and better understanding of his own powers. I guess you could say that Insipid's greed... ... was her greatest downfall. The winner is Zomom. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Death Battle... Wow... Rarity is looking absolutely beautiful to- 0_o Oh my gosh! That's not who I thought it was at all!