"Okay, recruits, to be a member of the new Ponyville Royal Guard, you're going to need guts," Flash Sentry yelled as he paced back and forth, crunching the fallen autumn leaves on the ground. Over the previous few weeks, Twilight Sparkle prepared vigorously for her upcoming Princess of Friendship tour, while Flash advertised around town that tryouts were going to be held for a new security force at the castle. The turnout was less than ideal.
"You're going to need wits," the stallion continued as he paced in front of the eager ponies applying for new positions. Flash stopped and looked at the ponies in line. From left to right were: Big Macintosh, Spike, Rumble, Featherweight, Bulk Biceps[1], and Tom the Rock. "Which may not be your strong point," the prince continued. "But regardless, you recruits are going to have to be willing to lay your life on the line in order to protect Princess Twilight Sparkle. Is that something you're willing to do?"
--------------------------------------
[1] Or Snowflake, as he was affectionately called by his close friends and secret fillyfriend, Fluttershy. Regardless, while Flash spoke, the massive, small-winged white pegasus was examining the inner cavities of his nose and was stunned by his discovery upon retrieving what he found.
--------------------------------------
"Eeyup!" Big Macintosh replied cheerfully, while Bulk screamed like the little filly he was on the inside. Rumble and Featherweight gave each other a hoof-bump with excitement, while Spike and Tom stared back at their potential future captain blankly.
Flash facehoofed. "Slim pickings," he muttered. "All right. This morning, I am going to test your endurance, speed, strength, and smarts. First, your strength. We're going to test each of you one-on-one in a tug-of-war contest to see who is the strongest. First up, Rumble and Tom."
--------------------------------------
"Oh, darling, this dress is simply darling, darling. It really makes you look darling," Rarity complimented as Twilight continued to try on multiple dresses inside the massive master bedroom of the castle. The princess and her five friends were seeing what she could wear on her upcoming planned tour across Equestria.
"I like the way it makes your flank look," Rainbow added.
"Me too," Pinkie shouted.
"All right," Twilight replied. "This will be the one I wear in Manehattan, since they have a heightened sense of style, and it's the final stop on the tour." Pointing to a few other dresses, the unicorn continued, "I'll wear that one in Canterlot, that one in Fillydelphia, that one in Baltimare, that one in Vanhoover, and that one in Las Pegasus."
"I think it's going to be a wonderful trip for you and Flash," Fluttershy commented. "You not only get to travel across Equestria, meeting many ponies with your husband, but you also get to—what on earth is that noise?"
Fluttershy was interrupted by the sound of burly shouting and cheering, as well as colt-ish struggle. The mares ran over to the window, looking into the backyard of the castle. Instantly, Twilight covered her face with one hoof in embarrassment.
"Oh, Flash, why," she muttered to herself as she watched.
Outside was Flash Sentry, blowing a whistle, watching Rumble pulling a rope tied to a giant rock, with a number of other males watching and cheering loudly.
"Um, sorry, we don't have to watch this," Twilight said to her friends, but they all continued to look out the window, fascinated.
"There's my love," Rarity mumbled with glazed eyes as she rested her chin on her hoof. "Go Tom!" she then screamed out, startling the others.
With a confused roll of her eyes, and a slight chuckle, Twilight backed away from her spectating friends to continue to prepare for her upcoming trip.
--------------------------------------
"Okay," Flash said with his eyes wide open in surprise. "So." He paused to try and gather his thoughts. "The stallion who won the strength contest, defeating Big Macintosh in the final, is Tom the Rock."
Tom, being the relaxed-type that he usually was, refused to celebrate his victory. Besides, there were plenty of other contests to go.
"Don't get too cocky, Tom," Flash said flatly as he continued pacing in front of his prospective guards. "There are many other things I'm going to test you on today. Next, I'm going to test your speed. What if a crazed mare sneaks into this castle at night and steals the princess' crown? Will you be fast enough to catch up to her? Each of you will run down to the river and back individually, and I will be timing you. First up will be Rumble."
The colt gulped and trotted his way over to Flash. He bent down to set himself while the stallion put the whistle in his mouth and one hoof in the air. After a few seconds, the whistle blew, Flash's hoof came down, and Rumble was off.
--------------------------------------
The hours went on. Twilight sat by the window. She swapped between looking out the window at Flash's tryouts and watching Applejack and Rainbow Dash's very heated argument.
"Ah told ya, Granny Smith is the best tasting apple," Applejack yelled.
"And I told you that that is disgusting and illegal!" Rainbow retorted.
"That's not what Ah mean!"
Twilight rolled her eyes and returned to watching the tryouts outside for the Ponyville Royal Guard. Needless to say, they weren't going so smoothly. The princess sighed through her nose as she watched her husband desperately try and rally up the other stallions, who at this point were all on their backs, exhausted from the various tasks they were asked to do. Tom looked like he was about to pass out, and Big Macintosh was asleep against a tree.
For a quick second, Twilight turned back to her friends.
"Listen, Applejack, I won't judge what you do in your family, but I also don't want to hear about it," Rainbow continued. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Fluttershy can be the judge if Big Macintosh is the biggest apple." The yellow Pegasus quickly turned red and shrunk in her stance.
"Rainbow, how dense are ya? I'm talkin' about apples the fruit!"
"Ooooooooh."
Stealthily, Twilight got up from sitting on her bay window sill and snuck along the side of the room. Rarity spotted her sneaking away, but the unicorn gave her a wink and kept quiet as Rainbow and Applejack continued to dominate the conversation while Pinkie Pie chewed on her own hair. Twilight eventually made it out of her room and into the hallway of the castle. She made her way downstairs and to the open backyard of the castle.
Once there, she found Flash standing in the open, looking around at the weak contestants who came out for his tryouts.
"Hey," Twilight said as she came around and kissed her husband on the cheek.
"Hey," Flash replied as he looked down on his side.
"I take it that it didn't go very well?"
"Not really," Flash replied, scratching his head.
"That's okay. You tried. So, what're we going to do, then?"
"Can your friends watch the castle while we're gone?"
Twilight thought for a second. "I don't think they all can at the same time, but I'm sure they'd love to!"
"Great! What about Spike?"
"A few weeks in a castle, alone, except for a bunch of mares? I think he'll survive," Twilight said with a smile.
"Great," Flash said as he put his whistle into his mouth.
"No!" Twilight yelled as Flash blew it loudly with his wife right in his vicinity.
"Line up, fillies," the prince yelled out. Though all tired, the stallions, colts, and rock all lined up. Flash pondered for a few seconds on what he was about to say, and how to say it in a cordial manner, but then flicked his hoof in the air and said, "Bah. We'll be in touch." Twilight and Flash trotted side by side as they made their way back into the castle as the others all dispersed.