Fallout is Dragons - Stories from the Maw

by Newbiespud

The Hippocritic Oath

I swear by Sparkle, the bookkeeper, Celestia, Luna, and Cadance, and I dare any one of them to come back here, and just try to stop me from upholding the following "Oath" and personal agreement:

To show the pony who taught me how to fix some form of mercy by not flaying him and wearing his coat like a jacket; to pay him back for teaching me an art I could not live without by pretending he doesn't exist rather than using said art as the means for a prolonged session of intensive internal study; to ignore any dealings and supposed "machinations" that involve him or his underlings and teach this art to only those I damn well please, and likely leaving them the same as I feel about him. No favors are owed to either party.

I will prescribe dosages that benefit my patient’s mental state, while leaving them in a physical condition good enough to become repeat customers, and do harm only to those who piss me off or skimp payments, which pisses me off.

I will give deadly medication to any shitheads who ask for it, and will not hesitate to suggest offing someone for the benefit of another. Unless of course that pony asking for the deadly medicine is a dick, in which case I’ll let them suffer.

I’ll work however I damn well please, and the original version of this document can wipe my ass for all I care.

I’ll operate on whomever, however, because until Celestia comes out of the sky and personally smites me, no one is going to question my methods if it saves their life, experience with the procedure be damned.

If the only payment available is sex, fine, fuck it. Pun intentional. If they get seduced by me or vice versa, they were either literally asking for it, or I've been completely suckered in which case, whatever, tension relief. Don’t even care about who it is at this point. But this is very unlikely.

Customers should understand that information is just as valuable as caps, and that telling me their life story is not guarantee that it’ll be secret. They should understand that I have no qualms about any service provided, but the price for that is that I get stories to tell.

If I keep this oath, whoop de freaking do, my life is gonna be the same as always, respected only cause I know how to remove bullets and make drugs. If I should break this oath, may ponies react in the exact same way because no one gives a crap, this shit is only for me. Stop reading it, fuckface.