//------------------------------//
// Chapter 9 
// Story: Wedding Bells Bug Hunt 
// by Trinary 
//------------------------------//

Rainbow’s wings twitched in irritation as she impatiently paced up and down the Canterlot train station. Oh come on how long does it take the train to arrive? What did they get stuck behind a dumb rock or something? They’re so late! She glanced irritatingly at the station clock. How is that Princess Celestia can raise and lower the sun on time for thousands of years, but she can’t make the trains run on time? I oughta write a letter…
 
After what seemed like an eternity, the Ponyville train pulled into Canterlot station a full two and a half minutes behind schedule. Dash’s hooves tapped impatiently as the train crawled to a halt. Then with a final burst of steam, it stopped. The train doors opened—and immediately Rainbow found herself tackled to the ground as something hit her in the chest.
 
A brief burst of panic swelled up in Dash as she looked down to see what had tackled her, expecting a changeling or a monster or—

“RAINBOW DAAASH!” Dinky Doo clung to Rainbow’s chest, hugging her forcefully. “I missed you so—” she gave Rainbow a fillyish kiss on the cheek “—darn—” and again on the other cheek “—much!”
 
Rainbow blinked in surprise. She reached around to hug Dinky back when she paused. Was this really Dinky? Or just a changeling wearing her goddaughter’s appearance? Oh Celestia, can I really trust anypony?
 
Dinky nuzzled Rainbow’s chest, then looked up at her with her big, golden, trusting eyes. “You a’kay Rainbow?” When Rainbow didn’t respond, her ears lowered slightly. “Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if I did…”
 
Oh, no. Dash felt the bottom of her stomach give way. Feather the changelings, this is my godkid and she needs this. I need this. She hugged Dinky tightly, prompting a surprised ‘Whoa!’ from the little filly. “No, you didn’t. You’re perfect.” She didn’t let go or look up until she heard Ditzy Doo’s hoofsteps on the platform.
 
“Hey, Rainbow.” She smiled at the closeness between Rainbow Dash and her goddaughter.
 
Rainbow looked up at her old friend, holding Dinky protectively close as she looked for any sign that Ditzy wasn’t who she said she was. Unaware of Rainbow’s suspicions, she just smiled that Derpy smile of hers, her left eye rolling around and keeping an eye on the other kids.
 
Yeah, that’s Derpy all right. Rainbow decided. No bug could imitate her eyes without getting totally nauseous. “Hey Derpy. Got all the kids here?”
 
Derpy nodded, looking over at Cloud Kicker, who was standing in the midst of the Ponyville foals they had brought: Alula, Pipsqueak, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. “And then some. I’m just glad Cloud could come with me. I can handle a few, but I couldn’t have managed all of them without her help.”
 
“I can believe that.” Rainbow gave Dinky one last squeeze. “But organizing a Royal Gala Wedding is a lot harder. Wanna trade?”
 
“And now you have to plan a Royal Gala Wedding with the kids around,” Derpy teased.
 
Dinky scrunched her muzzle in thought. “That's gonna be like herdin' cats ... 'cept cats're evil, an' nopony here's evil, huh Rainbow?”
 
Dash coughed and ruffled Dinky’s mane. “Something like that.”
 
“Whaddaya mean ‘Somethin' like that’?” Dinky tilted her head, then gasped dramatically as something occurred to her. “Oh NOES! We got cats around here?! I'll go tell Apple Bloom t'go back an' get Winona!”
 
“You don't have to do that, Muffin,” Derpy quickly said. “If Rainbow Dash wanted a hoof with anything, I'm sure she'd ask you.”
 
Rainbow nodded. “You know it.” She smiled for the first real time in days. “Never change, Dinks.”
 
Dinky’s voice was slightly muffled from the hug, but she still managed to get out an “A'kay!”
 
The other kids, having gotten their first (for some of them) look at Canterlot, finally noticed Rainbow Dash and ran over to say their hellos. Cloud Kicker’s little sister Alula was first to reach her. “Hi Rainbow!” She leaped into the air, hugging Dash around the neck.
 
Cloud Kicker walked up at a more sedate pace. “That’s a warmer welcome than she gave me,” she complained in a faux-whine. “I feel the love, sis.”
 
Rainbow grinned. “Heh, heya, 'lula. How's the most awesome Kicker I know?”
 
“Good. I've been really good and did all my homework,” the filly announced, proud of her great achievement.
 
“Ow, burned again. Rejected by my sister and Rainbow.” Cloud clutched her chest. “I don’t know how I’ll go on…”
 
Dinky immediately hugged Cloud’s nearest leg. “I’ll help ya!” She nuzzled her.
 
Rainbow tousled Alula’s mane, her signature move with kids. “That's great. You looking forward to being a flower filly?”
 
Alula shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. It's just flower stuff, right?”
 
Rainbow thought she had a point. If she had been asked to do this as a filly, her response would’ve been pretty similar. Still, there were some fringe benefits. “Right. But hey, you'll be right there for a Royal Wedding--with plenty of wedding cake and stuff!”
 
“Oooh, cake!” Alula smacked her lips at the thought.
 
“Exactly,” Dash grinned. “And I bet awesome flower fillies get their piece nice and early.” She nudged her. “I heard you've been telling your family all about your big adventure in the Crystal Empire?”
 
Alula nodded, all the pain and fear about the experience having been buried in the ancient past—a whole six months ago! To a filly, that was almost forever. “Yeah, it was super-neat!”
 
“You're a regular little Kicker hero, huh?” Rainbow set her down and saluted.
 
“Uh-huh!” Alula saluted back, albeit with the wrong hoof. “I'm a soldier, just like Mommy and Daddy!”
 
“You sure are.” Rainbow nodded to Cloud. “You got a cool sister here, Cloud.”
 
Cloud Kicker grinned. “Yeah, she's pretty cool.” She paused to ruffle her mane. “For a baby.”
 
That prompted a fuss and grumble from Alula. “Not a baby...”
 
“So what’s up Rainbow? You doing good?” Cloud asked.
 
“I could actually use your expertise for planning to bachelorette party.”
 
“Oooh…” Cloud grinned wolfishly. “Sounds like something to talk over later.”
 
Dinky looked up, a big excited smile on her face. “A party? Ooh, that sounds like fun! Can I come?” She tilted her head. “Wutever it is.” Alula nodded in agreement.
 
“Sorry, it's an adult-only party.” Cloud’s explanation elicited a fillyish chorus of ‘awwws.’
 
Rainbow reached down to pat Dinky’s head. “It’s okay, squirt. They probably won't even have party hats. Buuut I think Pinkie Pie set up a small party for you and all the flower fillies at the castle.”
 
Alula’s eyes widened. “Oooh, a Pinkie Party?”
 
“Yes!” Derpy said quickly. “A Pinkie Party--just for the flower fillies.” Spotting Pipsqueak’s downtrodden look, she quickly added, “and ring bearing colts too!”
 
“That sounds fun too!” Dinky beamed at her friends.
 
“Yeah!” Scootaloo stepped forward, her wings buzzing in excitement. “And you’ll do a Sonic Rainboom at the wedding, right? It’s going to be so cool!”
 
Rainbow Dash grinned. “You bet it is! I just need to talk to Cloud and Derpy for a bit, but then we’ll take you to the castle.”
 
Cloud cut in. “Actually, my parents can take them.” She nodded to the pair of older ponies in guard uniforms that were waiting off to the side.
 
“That’s even better.” Dash forced herself to sound natural. She didn’t want to leave the kids alone with anypony unless she was sure they weren’t changelings. But on the other hoof, she really needed to talk to Cloud and Derpy. Going by what the Princess had told her, she didn’t think the changelings would bother replacing a bunch of little kids. Be a bit hard for big bugs to pull off little ponies, she thought. “Okay, I just need to talk to you guys about something.”
 
“Oh?” Cloud grinned. “Go on.”
 
She had meant to ease her way into the subject, but she was in a rush. “I need to find a few naked stallions and hard cider.”
 
Cloud and Derpy blinked. It was the wall-eyed mare who found her voice first. “…but we don't usually wear clothes, Rainbow.”

Shaking her head, Cloud Kicker recovered and squeed. “My little Dashie is all grown up! Can we throw in a few mares too for variety's sake? Ooh! I have a list! What’s your preference?” She dug into her saddle bag, looking for something. “Word of advice, griffon dancers are frisky. There is a reason their poles look like scratching posts.”

Rainbow facehooved. Hard. “No, I mean for the bachelorette party! Everyone has been edgy and I want a super cool blowout to cheer everypony up.”

That only made the smile on Cloud’s face grow wider. From her bag she pulled out a small black book, hastily flipping through it. “Stand back ladies. I have favors to call in.” She cackled. “At last, this is Cloud’s time to shine! Mwahaha!”
 
Hesitantly, Derpy edged her way behind Rainbow Dash. “Should she be giggling like that? I wanna hide now.”
 
Rainbow was too busy trying to hide behind Derpy as she tried to hide behind her. “This is Cloud here ... I think I woke a sleeping orthros.” Dash winced as she tried to head things off before her lusty friend got too into things. “Actually,” she cut in hurriedly. “I found a place that I want your opinions on. It’s right nearby. Come on.” She turned and hurried off, not giving the two a chance to reply. The two pegasi left on the platform looked at each other, shrugged, and followed her.
 
Rainbow led them down the winding twists and turns of Canterlot’s streets and alleys, often doubling back and leading them on strangely exaggerated routes. After about ten minutes of walking, she stopped, having led her friends to an empty alleyway.
 
Derpy looked around. “This doesn’t seem like a good place to hold a party.”
 
Her friends were certainly surprised. “Dash?” Cloud blinked. “What’s going on?”
 
“Shhh!” Rainbow hushed them as she looked around, making sure they weren't followed and weren’t being listened in-on.
 
Cloud Kicker cleared her throat. “Uh, Rainbow? Are you going to explain what's up?”
 
“Trouble.” Rainbow eyed both her friends. “I need your help, but this can't go any further than the two of you. Promise me you won't repeat a word of this to anypony.”
 
Derpy and Cloud shared a look with each other before answering. “Done.” Cloud swiftly agreed. Derpy echoed her, but sounded less certain and a touch more nervous.
 
Rainbow Dash sighed and rubbed her head. “Okay…here goes: there's a conspiracy going on in Canterlot.”
 
That rocked Cloud and Derpy on their hooves. “Oh wow. That sounds ... bad.” Cloud gulped.
 
Derpy blinked in surprise and looked around with her wall eyes. “What's going on?”
 
“There are these creatures called Changelings--they're like pony-sized bugs that can turn themselves into anypony,” Dash explained. “They're infiltrating the city to take it over. Princess Celestia said they replace somepony you love and feed off of your love. If you give them enough of your love, they can control you like a puppet. Then, when they've replaced enough ponies...” She stamped a hoof down on the ground. “They stick everypony in cocoons and feed off us all!”
 
Derpy and Cloud studied Rainbow’s face, hoping this was just a prank of some sort. When her expression didn’t waver and didn’t smile, it began to dawn on them that she was serious. “It's just Canterlot, right?” Derpy asked, desperately seeking reassurance. “They're not in Ponyville, too?”
 
“Oh. Oh geeze.” Cloud’s face fell. “That sounds really bad. I'm guessing she can't put the city on lockdown or something, because the guard might be compromised?”
 
Rainbow shook her head. "I think it's just Canterlot. They want to focus on replacing really important ponies and stuff first." She nodded to Cloud. "Yeah, me and Zecora got ambushed by a group of changeling guards after I arrived. We got separated...don't know what's happened to her since." She twitched her wings. "I could've really used her help."
 
Clouds eyes widened. “Oh Celestia, if they're in the Guard, then my family...” She shifted on her hooves, looking over her shoulder and looking torn between staying and flying off to find her family.
 
Rainbow preempted her. "Cloud, no!" She grabbed her by the shoulders. "You can't! If they have been replaced, then you'll just get yourself caught too! And the Princess said that changelings don't kill the ponies they abduct, just feed off them.”
 
“It's my family, Rainbow!” Cloud Kicker half-heartedly tried to shake her hooves off. “You can't tell me you'd just sit and do nothing if some bug monster could be eating your parents!”
 
“I know, I know!” Dash shouted, tightening her hold. “But if they have been replaced there’s nothing we can do about it right now! I don’t know where they took them or what’ll happen if you tip them off that we know about them!”
 
Derpy nodded. “And there’s every chance that they’re fine and haven’t been gotten to,” she hastily added.
 
“But...” Cloud swallowed. “But I have to do something!”
 
Rainbow, winced, knowing how she felt. "Look...Celestia said she was working her way through the guards to find out who's been replaced and who hasn't. But that's not the biggest problem right now."
 
“What?!” Derpy gaped.
 
Cloud Kicker’s eyes widened, but her voice radiated incredulousness. “My family's in danger, and that's not a problem?”
 
"It's not the biggest problem," Rainbow stressed. "Even if the guard has been replaced, we still have an ace in the hole: remember, the Elements of Harmony? If we have those, we win." Her face fell. "Which is why the changelings replaced one of my friends."
 
Derpy moaned. “Oh. Oh no...”
 
“Oh dammit.” Cloud groaned. “And I'm guessing there's no way of telling who?”
 
Dash shook her head slowly. “I've been trying to figure out which one of them it is without tipping off the fake, but...” she leaned back against the wall, sliding down into a slump, feeling all the weariness and tension and lack of sleep she’d been feeling for the past several days crash on her all at once. “All of them have been acting weird. It could be any one of them.” She groaned. “I have to figure this out before the wedding.”
 
There was silence for a minute as Rainbow’s friends tried to absorb everything. “Okay. That doesn't give us much time.” Cloud rallied with a confidence that Rainbow envied right now. “Do you have a plan?”
 
Rainbow grunted. Plans were more Twilight’s department than hers. She was so desperate and at her wits end that she had briefly considered putting on a disguise to follow her friends around: take on the identity of a superhero to do—something that would somehow make things better. She quickly abandoned that plan when she realized it was stupid. Incredibly, incredibly stupid.
 
She shrugged at Cloud. “I tried talking to them all separately and got nowhere. I figure I need to get them all in a room and see if they spot anypony acting weird. And the only place all of them will all be together is the bachelorette party.”
 
Derpy rubbed her head. “Great … well, hopefully we can get a better feel for them at the party.” She quirked her brow at Cloud, who—to her surprise—passed on the obvious chance to make an innuendo. Things were apparently that serious.
 
Cloud rubbed her nose with a hoof. “I’m—I’m gonna check in on Alula and my folks. I’m not gonna do anything to tip our hoof,” she added quickly. “Just—y’know. Then I’ll start rounding up the dancers and drinks. I’ll meet you back at the castle in a few hours. See ya.” Without waiting for a reply, she took to the air and flew off.
 
“You want me to stick around?” Derpy offered, nuzzling Rainbow as her friend sighed. “This is a lot for any one pony to deal with. Even you.”
 
“Thanks, Derpy … but right now, I just want to clear my head for a bit.” Rainbow smiled weakly. “Catch you around later.”
 
“Of course. Anytime you need me.” Derpy hugged her. “I’m going to see to Dinky, and then I’ll help with the bachelorette party.”
 
Dash grinned wryly. “You’re going to bake muffins, aren’t you?”
 
Derpy’s eyes rolled this way and that, looking anyplace but directly at Rainbow. “Um…”
 
That made her rainbow maned friend chuckle. “S’fine. Just don’t bake a giant one for Cloud to pop out of and it’ll be fine.”
 
“Okay then!” Derpy’s voice took on its more normal bubbly tone. “I’d probably eat it anyway. See you later, Rainbow Dash!”
 
With a nod and wave, the two pegasi took off in different directions. Rainbow Dash drifted through Canterlot, she thought about dropping by to get Vinyl Scratch onboard for the bachelorette party. She’d already put her in contact with Pinkie for the reception, but if anypony could be trusted to hold a wild, yet discreet party it was Vinyl.
 
The club Vinyl, in her DJ-P0N3 identity, performed most frequently at was quiet. But given the time of day, that was hardly surprising. Raves were seldom known to happen during a weekday lunch. Though if Pinkie Pie had anything to say about it...

As Rainbow Dash got closer, she found that while there wasn’t any music playing, the club wasn’t as quiet as it first sounded. She heard the sounds of yelling and arguing. Taking advantage of an open skylight, Dash bypassed the door and soon found herself on the club’s stage: right in the middle of a shouting match between Vinyl Scratch and Twilight Sparkle.
 
“Nonono! This won’t work! You have start with the waltzes—organized by the last name of their composer—then you can move on to more popular songs as scored by the popularity on the charts, and then you can play your stup deb.” Twilight had a frantic look in her eyes. “Otherwise everything’ll be ruined!”
 
“Okay first off, it’s Dub step.” Vinyl shook her head, her eyes peeking out over the rim of her sunglasses. “And seriously? I’ve been DJing parties for years. I think I know how to put together the music.”
 
Twilight drew herself up. “And I’ve been organizing and keeping meticulous order of events since I was foal.”
 
Rainbow remembered how things had gone the last time her best friends had argued with one of her Canterlot friends—Trixie—and decided to step in before things got to that state. “Whoa whoa whoa!” She glided over and put herself in between Vinyl and Twilight. “We’re all friends here. Twilight, you remember me telling you about my old friend, Vinyl Scratch? How she, Cloud Kicker and me used to hang out when I lived here?” She waited for Twilight to give an almost imperceptible nod. “And Vinyl, this is Twilight Sparkle. I, uh, guess you’ve met already.”
 
Vinyl’s shades couldn’t hide her right brow rising in a skeptical ‘Are you kidding me?’ gesture. “You could say that.”
 
Looking pretty annoyed as well, Twilight began grumbling. “Not my fault she can’t arrange the music in a sensible manner…”
 
Rainbow looked pained. “Come on, Twi … Vinyl knows what she’s doing. It’ll be okay.”
 
“Ugh!” Twilight stomped her hoof angrily. “That’s what all our friends have been telling me about their roles and it’s been a total disaster!” Her horn began to glow and a scroll materialized. “I mean, do you see this? Do you see what this is?!” Twilight waved it in front of Rainbow’s face. It was a checklist outlining the various wedding tasks and the ponies in charge of them. Twilight drove the point home. “It’s a checklist without any checks! And a checklist is supposed to have checks. That’s the entire reason why we call it a checklist!”
 
“Twilight--” Rainbow started.

“I’ve never had a checklist with so few checks!” She stamped her hoof. “Look at this! Catering? Nope! Applejack’s too busy fighting with the kitchen staff and Pinkie’s too busy arguing with the Gala planners. Oh, but that’s not all! They’re also arguing with each other about how many deserts and apple-based foods there should be and ignoring the ratio I painstakingly put together detailing just that very question!” 

“But Twi--” Dash tried again, only to be ignored.

Twilight jammed her hoof at another blank box. “See that? That’s where they’re supposed to be a check for the wedding dresses! But there isn’t! Because Fluttershy’s been too busy with the animals to help Rarity, and Rarity’s been busy taking on more orders than she can handle!” She glowered at Rainbow Dash. “Is there anything I’m forgetting? The clock is ticking, Rainbow! Clock. Is. Ticking!” Her ear twitched and flopped this way and that. “Why can nopony but me hear the ticking? Why doesn't everypony just do exactly what I tell them to do so that the wedding be perfect and orderly and nothing will go wrong! ARGH!”
 
“I think you might be forgetting that you have to breathe,” Rainbow joked lamely. “Twilight, just—come on. Take some deep breaths and calm down—”
 
Twilight swatted her wing away with her hoof. “Calm down? CALM DOWN?! How can I calm down when this wedding is dissolving into chaos because nopony's listening to me?” She vanished in a burst of magic, reappearing over by Vinyl. She pointed to the DJ angrily. “She won't play the right music! Make her play the right music!” Before Vinyl or Rainbow could protest, Twilight had teleported herself back. “And Applejack's still horribly behind schedule!” She waved her schedule around before teleporting over to the far side of the club, where she paced furiously. “Rarity's not done with the dresses yet and Fluttershy's still working with the animals. I can't go five minutes without somepony complaining about Pinkie's party preparations!” She teleported right in front of Rainbow Dash, her mane frazzled and slightly singed by the constant teleportation, her left eye twitching. “And what about you? Are you ready yet? What are you doing to help everypony get ready? You've just been going around Canterlot asking us all questions! Why aren't you helping to restore order to this madness!?”
 
“TWILIGHT!” Rainbow shouted. “It’s gonna be okay! Really!”
 
“I must create orderrr!” Twilight shouted before teleporting away.
 
Vinyl adjusted her glasses, which had gotten slightly akimbo, before nodding to Rainbow Dash. “...So she's one of your new PFFs?”
 
Rainbow sighed. “Yes.”
 
The DJ nodded, things seemingly coming into place for her. “What is it with you and the crazy ones?”
 
“Shuddup, Scratchy.”



 

Rainbow Dash apologized for Twilight, but Vinyl just shrugged and waved it off. “She’s just wound a bit too tight for her big brother’s wedding.” Rainbow just wished she could be sure that was all it was. After getting Vinyl onboard for the bachelorette party, she flew back to the castle. The second she arrived in her room, she practically collapsed onto the bed. She wanted to take a nice, long nap. 

So of course, somepony had to knock at the door.

“I already gave at the office!” Dash shouted at the door, too thoroughly annoyed to care who it was or what they wanted.
 
“It’s me,” she recognized Cloud Kicker’s voice. “You want me to come back another time?”

It was all Rainbow could do not to scream ‘Hay, yes!’ but the fate of her friends and Equestria was in the balance, so she groaned and nodded. Then she remembered that Cloud couldn’t see through doors and called out to her. “Yeah, come on in.”

Cloud walked in, closing the door behind her. “Hey. Sorry about before, but I just had to see my family, you know? Make sure they were okay.”

“I get it.” Dash sighed, thinking of her friends. She just counted herself fortunate that her parents were still in Cloudsdale. They wouldn’t arrive until just before the wedding. “S’okay.”

Trying to lighten the mood, Cloud chuckled. “I see you’re already in bed.” She sat down next to Rainbow, eyebrows wiggling. “Mind if I join you?”
 
Rainbow rolled her eyes and went to her normal Cloud Kicker corrective technique: vigorously applying her wing upside Cloud’s head. “Come on CK, this is serious.”
 
Unphased, Cloud shrugged, fixing her mane. “Yeah, I know, but a joke or two can't hurt.” She looked Rainbow Dash over. “You look like you could use a laugh.”
 
“I'm probably not gonna be laughing for a bit,” she rubbed her face tiredly. “Not until we get this under control. I don't know who I can trust anymore. I'm taking a big chance that you and Derpy are—well, you and Derpy.”
 
Cloud held up her hooves at Rainbow. “Yeah, okay. I get that. Just saying, you're wound up tighter than a...” She paused, obviously thinking of a sexual comparison she knew would just make her friend more uncomfortable, and wisely chose not to employ it. “A ... well something that's wound up really tight. And that can't be making it any easier to investigate things.”
 
Her effort in tact proved to be in vain. “I know that!” Dash snapped at her. “But you try investigating your best friends all the while looking over your shoulder in case some giant bug comes by to replace you and you spend practically all night staying awake by a lit candle and drinking tons of coffee and constantly coming up with plans to stop an invasion that could be only days away—” her voice trailed off into a wheeze as she had become so worked up that she needed to stop and take a breath.
 
“Whoa! Settle down, girl!” Cloud grabbed Rainbow’s shoulders to steady her. “We're trying to help!”
 
“I know!” Rainbow paused, took a breath then sighed. “I know. It’s just been so hard. I suck at looking for clues and investigating and stuff. Twilight's practically Sherlock Hooves with how smart she is. Rarity has a freaky eye for details, Applejack can just tell when things aren't right, Fluttershy's could charm anypony into spilling anything and Pinkie...is Pinkie. But me? I'm just too dumb for this.”
 
Cloud stomped her hoof. “You are not dumb.”
 
“I can't even tell which of my best friends isn't who they say they are. I'm either dumb or a lousy friend ... or both.”
 
Without another word, Cloud went over and hugged her tight. “Rainbow, you're not dumb. This is just outside your area of expertise. Which is why I'm gonna help you.”
 
That made her all but collapse into Cloud’s hug. “Thank you—you and Derpy are two of the best. Even if you don't get fancy necklaces and magic powers, you're still my awesome friends.”
 
“Darn right.” Cloud nuzzled Rainbow’s cheek. “Now let's buck up and figure out how to solve this thing. Between the three of us, I know we can handle it.”
 
Her confidence restored—finally somepony she could talk to about all this—Rainbow nodded. “Right!”
 
Cloud gave a sharp nod. “So, what've you found so far?” 
 
Rainbow sighed and flopped down on her bed. “Okay, so they’re all acting off.”
 
“Right. I guess we can do a quick rundown of the evidence on each one of them.” Cloud reasoned, sitting down next to her. “So, how's AJ acting off?”
 
“She's flipping her lid because she has to work with this fancy, foul-mouthed royal chef and she just wants to do everything the old fashioned Apple way and screw everypony or anything that's different.” Dash snapped, obviously still a bit sore about it. “And that goes double if you try to tell her any different.”
 
Cloud winced. Okay, that sounds pretty bad.” She thought for a moment. “But that doesn't sound too off for Applejack. She's always been a bit stubborn and old-fashioned.”
 
Dash bristled. “Yeah, well, she also doesn’t get so worked up that she almost dislocated my shoulder in hoof-wrestling—and cheated too!” That rankled. “All I did was point out that she can’t pull off the catering for a Royal Gala Wedding by herself using her Granny Smith’s methods or whatever.”
 
"Okay, you’ve got a point there," Cloud Kicker admitted. "Just saying, my initial inclination is to say that there's nothing there that doesn't fit with her just being in a bad mood.”
 
“Even Applejack in a bad mood is still Applejack.” Rainbow flicked her wings. “Here—she was just totally trying to avoid the truth ‘cuz she didn’t like it. That’s not the AJ, I know. And after she almost pulled my foreleg out, she just walked away without even a ‘sorry.’”
 
“Well, assuming Applejack isn’t our imposter, I’ll give her an earful about that later. But, to keep playing Nightmare’s advocate, she might not have realized she hurt you. When Applejack gets mad she stops thinking clearly. And given how competitive she is and how much all this wedding stuff was getting to her—anypony can snap and say or do something they regret.”
 
She kept her tone light, but Rainbow knew what Cloud was aiming at: the things Rainbow Dash and Celestia had said to each other before—and right after—Nightmare Moon’s return, Derpy’s panic when Dinky was abducted by Sombra. “Maybe. But would she really act that different if she was a Changeling? Being so uptight about doing everything her way would make it easier to drug or poison all the food. Take out all the higher ups in Equestria at once.”
 
“Yeah. It's worth checking out,” Cloud agreed. “So, what about the others?” She asked as she started kneading Rainbow’s back.
 
The tired pegasus shut her eyes, torn between wanting to take a nap and taking advantage of having somepony here to talk to. “Rarity's high-strung, demanding and really nitpicky--so I'd say she's normal, except for a couple of things.”
 
“Such as?”
 
Rainbow shifted around. “Well, while she was supposed to be making Cadance’s dress and dresses for the bridesmaids and flower fillies, she took a bunch of commissions for some of the nobles attending the wedding. When I visited her she was fretting over those dresses and hadn’t finished the ones me and the girls are supposed to be wearing. I didn’t even ­see Cadance’s, and it’s her wedding!”
 
Cloud nodded faintly. “I think I get what you’re aiming at. It might be selfish of her, but to have the opportunity to advance her lifelong dream drop in her lap like that—It’d be like the Wonderbolts trying to get you to audition while you’re supposed to be practicing the Sonic Rainboom for the wedding. It’d be hard to say no.”
 
A grunt was Cloud’s only indication that she had hit the mark. “Okay, yeah, I get it.” Rainbow grumbled. “But the dresses the nobles were having her making? They were, well, I’m no fashionista—”
 
“Do tell?” Cloud quipped.
 
“—but even I could tell these dresses weren’t any good,” Rainbow finished, ignoring her. “But Rarity fell all over herself assuring those snobs that of course their dress design was great, and of course it didn’t make them look like something a clown threw up or whatever.”
 
Cloud whistled. “Yikes. That bad?”
 
Dash nodded. “I mean, it felt like she was as worried about that as she was getting the dresses ready for the wedding. And she just ... let her creativity and her reputation get rained on for the sake of making some fancy noble happy. S'just ... wrong. If the Wonderbolts wanted me to dress up like a pig and fly butt first into a brick wall, I’d tell them no way. But Rarity just … took it. She can’t stand it when even a stitch is out of place, but here she just lied through her teeth to please them.”
 
“That sounds too bad,” Cloud chewed her lip. “Though she wouldn't be the first artist to compromise her artistic integrity to please a demanding client, especially if she thought it could make it big.” 

“On top of that, there was also some back room that she didn't want to me to go in. And she got me to run errands all over Canterlot for her. She made me waste an entire day by asking me to do ‘one small thing’ ... and then turning it into a bajillion annoying things!”
 
“Okay, that is a bit suspicious.” Cloud admitted.
 
“I know, right? Who knows what she could’ve been doing while she was keeping me busy? Inviting nobles in to try on their outfits and having some changelings waiting in the wings to replace them since they were alone?” Rainbow paused. “And then there was Pinkie Pie. She was, well, angry.”
 
“No pony is all sunshine and bubbles. Not even Pinkie Pie.” Cloud offered.

Dash grunted skeptically. “This wasn’t just a bad mood because nopony liked her idea for a kumquat festival. This was really mad. Even for another pony, this was bad. And considering how hard she always tries to put a good spin on things--yeah, it just seemed weird.”

“Parties are a serious business for her,” Cloud reminded her. “It’s what she does. But let’s move on. What about the others?”
 
Rainbow grumbled. “And Fluttershy, well 'shy was....” she trailed off.
 
“What about Eepy?” Cloud asked, breaking out her old flight camp nickname for her.
 
“She snapped at me,” Rainbow confessed. “She got pissy because I offered some advice on how to deal with the Princess' pet phoenix and then just said ... well, really mean, un-Fluttershy stuff.”
 
The lack of details told Cloud Kicker more than an actual blow-by-blow would’ve. She could tell whatever Fluttershy had said, it had stung Rainbow pretty bad: made all the worse that of her five friends, Fluttershy was the first one Dash knew. “Wanna talk about it?”
 
“Not really.” Rainbow sat up. “But it was just so not like the Fluttershy I know. Like she was trying to say the most hurtful and awful things she could without screaming or cursing.”
 
“Oh geeze.” Cloud shook her head. “Eepy ... she's one of those ponies who buries a lot of stuff, and when it all boils over...”
 
“Assuming that it was Fluttershy,” Rainbow reminded her. “Which is kinda the point.” She rubbed her face. “I almost wish it was her.”
 
“Because then it would mean Fluttershy hadn't said those things to you?” Cloud supplied with a sigh. “Oh Rainbow,” she started working on the sensitive undersides of Dash’s wings. “You should talk to somepony about it some day. It's clearly bugging you.”
 
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Kinda busy,” she grunted. “Impending doom, remember? And there’s still Twilight.”
 
“Right, priorities. Just saying, I’m here if you need to talk about it.” Cloud sagged. “So, what about Twilight?”
 
“She's in charge of all the planning and stuff,” Rainbow shifted about. “And she's gone nuts when things don't go exactly right. Which, with everything going on with everypony else—is all the time now.”
 
“That sounds like Twi.” Cloud offered.
 
“No, you don't understand. This is insane level stuff. Her eyes twitch, her mane does this weird thing and she talks like she’s one step away from trying to take over the world in order to make sure all quills are the same size or whatever.”
 
That rocked Cloud back on her hooves. “Oh. Oh dear...”
 
“Yeah.” Rainbow shivered at just the memory of it. “So any one of them could be the changeling. And we gotta figure it out before the wedding.”

Cloud Kicker stretched her wing out to cover Rainbow's back. “Hey. Things might be crazy right now, but we’ll figure this out. You’re amazing and with us helping you, those bad bugs won’t stand a chance.” She nuzzled. “You’ll see.”

Rainbow was stopped from answering by a knock on the door. “Rainbow Dash are you there?” Cadance opened the door, accompanied by Shining Armor. “Listen, I know we already talked about this, but we just wanted to make sure you were completely okay with me and Shining getting married and--” She blinked, finally spotting Rainbow Dash with Cloud Kicker. “Oh. We didn’t realize you had company.” She smiled as she placed an odd emphasis on the last word.

Shining Armor coughed, looking incredibly awkward. “I guess we came at a bad time--though I guess this does answer our question anyway…”

“Huh?” Rainbow’s face flushed crimson and she realized what they were thinking and she quickly shoved Cloud’s wing off her. “It’s not what it looks like!”

“Of course it isn’t,” Cadance said soothingly, her tone clearly disbelieving. “It’s none of my business, but you two look so cute together!”

Shining chuckled as Dash sputtered. “Reminds me of when Twily used to interupt us.”

“B-but, she was just making me feel better!” Rainbow yelped.

That caused Shining Armor to blush and cover his ears. “I don’t need to hear this…”

“But--”

“Lalalala, not listeniiing!” He loudly proclaimed as he retreated from the room. 

Cadance chuckled. “I’ll make sure you two aren’t, hmm, disturbed.” With a giddy grin, she trotted out of the room.

Rainbow Dash groaned and collapsed back on the bed. “My life is ruined.”

Cloud Kicker patted her back comfortingly, careful not to do anything too intimate that would make Rainbow uncomfortable. “Relax, you big foal. Besides, it got your mind off the Changelings for a bit, didn’t it?”

“I guess,” Dash grumbled. 

“Don't worry Rainbow, everything'll work out,” Cloud assured her. “We can clear this up after you save the day again.” She paused before tentatively asking, “I know the timing stank, but are you okay with them getting married? I mean—”

“It’s fine,” Dash gave her a look. “Me and Shiny and Cadance settled all this way back in the Frozen North. Cadance has always been like a big sister and Shiny, I guess, like a big brother. So I’m not losing them or anything. I’m happy for them.” 

Cloud patted her back. “That’s really mature of you—you sure you’re not a Changeling?” She teased. Rainbow’s response as a pillow to the face. “All right, all right, bad joke. Anyway, I’m glad for you. If anypony deserves to have a happily ever after, it’s them.” Cloud grinned, leaning in to run her hoof gently on Dash’s wing. “But speaking of happy endings...”

Rainbow smacked her with a pillow.