//------------------------------// // If she was my court jester, I would have her hanged. // Story: A shadow of what I once was. // by FaelaArts //------------------------------// “-So then I said, that’s not butter, that’s yellow icing, and then she said, what no way, and I said oh my gosh, and then we began to party. So the moral of the story is always check a label before you put it on your toast, else you’ll get super sugar hype and be all jittery for the rest of the day” Pinkie Pie talked loudly as she gave everyone drinks. Most just cracked a smile, however today she had actually gotten a few chuckles. However, Sombra had yet to crack so much as the pip of a smile, and it was starting to wear on her. He would just sit in the corner, sipping his drink as he watched everypony with eagle eyes. If Pinkie Pie didn’t know better, she would almost assume he was judging them like livestock. What nonsense that was, she giggled to herself. Bouncing over, Pinkie Pie grabbed Sombra by the hoof and brought him over to the cake, forcing him to slice it. Sombra didn’t respond. Shortly after Pinkie released him, he turned and returned to his seat, sitting down once more. Quickly handing out the cake, Pinkie brought a piece over to Sombra, giving a wink to Twilight who was also sitting at the table. Twilight frowned, and raised an eyebrow as Pinkie sat down with her own plate. “So what was it like in Equestria a thousand years ago? I bet it was super duper fun with Discord and Celestia battling it out royale style.” Pinkie Pie giggled and wolfed down her cake, swallowing and contuing, pointing a fork at Sombra. “I bet if you and them were in the same room you went all zip bam pow and it would have been so epic and awesome. I had an awesome duel once with a guy named Cheeze Sandwich, great guy you should totally meet him.” Pinkie Pie grinned, giggling once more continuing. “It was all party themed and everything it was so awesome and cool. Dashie has races and they are just as cool, Twilight has those magic fights that go zap zap pow! Applejack likes those Iron Pony events and running, Fluttershy is Fluttershy, but I’ve never seen Rarity really battle it out. There was that time that she went to that fashion show but that was sooo boring. “Have you ever been bored so much you wanted to groan and ingest several thousand doughnuts? I did once, it was during graduation of college. I was quite surprised they let me into a unicorn one, but I got pretty impressive grades for an Earth pony, enough to graduate with honors. Who woulda thunk it huh? “So yeah, it was during a talk about seeing the future and it was sooo boring I mean I already see the future why did I need a lesson on it? So I told the teacher that and he said to show it, so I did by saying doughnuts were going to come into the room. And they did so I got doughnuts while he continued the lesson. “Funny thing was the principal called me in after the lesson and asked how I was casting spells as an Earth pony. I told him he was being silly but they asked to do experiments on me. After finding nothing I was given more doughnuts, and a pretty cheque as thanks for allowing them to poke and prod me. I said they were silly for paying me but they insisted. “There was this other time I made it rain doughnuts. See I told Derpy to give doughnuts to everypony in Ponyville as I thought it might cheer them up. However Derpy decided the smartest option was to toss them around town instead of handing them out. Luckily most ponies still wanted to eat them, but we lost many yummy doughnuts that day. “Have you ever had a doughnut? They’re quite delicious and filling if you eat a thousand of them. You should eat some of Doughnut Joe’s, they’re the bestest ones in Equestria. I meant besides The Cakes, but if you’re in Canterlot you can’t go wrong with his doughnuts. They’re quite good, I’ll be sure to get you some if I ever go back to Canterlot, you’d like that right?” Pinkie Pie paused, and smiled warmly at Sombra. Sombra leaned forward, his mouth slowly opening. In the absence of Pinkie’s voice, the entire room was silent and all eyes turned to witness this moment. “I will use your smaller intestine as a scarf.” Sombra spoke clearly, narrowing his eyes as they flashed briefly. Sitting back down, he began to cut his cake delicately, and eat it. Pinkie Pie blinked, and for once had nothing to say back. All the ponies around the room began to make excuses to leave, and soon enough it was just Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and the others in the room. “Ah...ha ha Sombra, funny joke.” Pinkie Pie forced a smile onto her face, and tried to shrug it off. However, Sombra narrowed his eyes once more. “It wasn’t a joke,” he replied. It was obvious to all Sombra wasn’t kidding. Twilight turned and narrowed her eyes. “Sombra, I know Pinkie Pie talks a lot, but you don’t have to be so rude about it. Apologise immediately.” Twilight was pleased to see Sombra nod, and open his mouth once more. It was nice to see he was actually listening to her orders. “As ordered, I apologise for stating the fact after your death I will be gutting you, drying out your smaller intestine, and using it as a scarf on cold nights.” Sombra finished, and Twilight banged her head against the table. “Good job,” she muttered, raising her head to look to Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie had yet to speak, and it took Twilight a moment to notice her hair wasn’t as bouncy as normal. After a moment, Pinkie Pie finally blinked, and turned her eyes away from Sombra. Pinkie Pie stood up, and left.