“So this is what you call a lair?” Gale asked, looking around disdainfully.
It was true that the hideout was not much to look at, Ace had to admit, though it had a certain hidden beauty about it. For one thing, rent was cheap and the landlord didn’t ask annoying questions like ‘who are you?’ and ‘are you doing anything illegal?’ Secondly, it had everything a good safe house needed. It was inconspicuous, the windows were covered by so much grime that it was practically like they had blackout blinds and it was only a few minutes away from a decent fast food joint. Ace really didn’t see what she was complaining about.
“Okay, firstly, it’s a safe house. Not a lair. Lairs are for supervillains and disturbed folk with too much time on their hands. And secondly, we’re not even staying here for very long, just long enough for us to get this whole mess sorted. Now,” He sat down on the wooden crate that served as his table and gave her a pointed look, “Why exactly did you help me?”
She suddenly looked very nervous, scraping one hoof across the floor, taking away years of carefully collected mould in the process, “Well, that was a bit spur of the moment I admit. Basically, I want you to train me how to do what you do.”
“Do what I do?”
She stomped a hoof, “Yes! The lockpicking! And whatever else you can do. I’ve been a thief for most of my life and thought I was pretty good at it. But then you come along and pick a cell door in a few seconds…with nothing but a wing feather!”
Ace couldn’t help the smug grin that took over his face. He was a performer at heart and it was nice to hear some praise every once in a while, “That was pretty good. But what makes you think I’m going to train you to be a thief, I’m just a humble stage magician.”
“Really?” She raised an eyebrow, “A stage magician who has his own safe house. A stage magician who goes around getting thrown through police station walls and battling giant minotaurs? Or was that part of your show as well?”
The lie died on Ace’s lips, “We may have gone a bit off script.”
“Then you must work with some great actors because it honestly looked like he was trying to kill you!” She did not seem amused.
“Fine, so I haven’t actually done any stage shows in a while, but I’m not exactly a normal thief either you know. Hell, look around,” He waved a hand, encompassing the dingy room, “It ain’t like I’m drowning in riches here. Why would you want me to teach you?”
“’Cus you’re the best I’ve seen.” Ace’s head shot up at that, “Yeah, I’ve been around criminals most of my life, was practically raised by them you might say. But even the most skilled of them are two-bit grifters and pickpockets. I want to be the best, and that means training with the best.”
“You realise that to be the best you’d have to be better than me at the very least?”
“Yes, once I’ve learnt everything you can teach I shall surpass you and become the greatest thief in the world.” The surety in which she said this statement was mind boggling.
“Well, at least you’re honest.”
She beamed.
“…Which is a bad thing in our profession.”
Her face dropped instantly.
“But, by crazy random happenstance, I am actually looking for some companions to join me on a rousing adventure to defeat the forces of evil.”
“Wait, hold on a second,” She was frowning now, “What do you mean forces of evil? Aren’t we the forces of evil?”
Ace shook his head, “You’ve been reading too much right-wing literature. We’re more like the,” He furrowed his brows as he searched for the correct term, “…The forces of not-quite-good. There is way worse things than us out there. Things that would see the world in ruin if given half the chance.”
“Isn’t fighting those sorts of things the job of the forces of Quite-Good?” She asked.
“Technically,” He replied with a shrug, “But it’s our world as well, and we sort of need it. I keep all my stuff here. Be a bit pissed if it was all destroyed.”
“So you’re fighting against some big bad evil?”
“Pretty much.” He cocked his head at her, “I must say you’re taking all this awfully well. Especially considering you were freaking out about hitting that detective ten minutes ago.”
She awkwardly rubbed her forelegs together, seemingly just remembering what she had done, “Yeah but this is Equestria. A world-threatening evil seems to pop up every other week so after a while you just get used to it. Hitting a police officer though, that’s different.” She sucked in a breath, “That’s illegal!”
Ace opened his mouth to respond and then paused, staring straight at the confounding pegasus. “You…you do realise that we’re criminals. You know that right? You said you wanted to be the greatest thief in the world but you’re afraid of breaking the law? How did you even get into this profession?”
“Yeah, I’m not an idiot.” She snorted, “But there’s a difference between stealing a purse and assaulting an officer of the law.”
Ace mulled that over before nodding, “Point.” He then swung himself up from his seat and towered over the pony, “So, back to business. You want to come with me to face the forces of evil, become a great thief and maybe learn some valuable life lessons about friendship and whatnot?”
“Do I?!” She was practically jumping on the spot in excitement. “I always wanted to be a hero.”
Ace grimaced, “Please don’t use the H word.” Shaking it off, he stuck out his hand to Gale, “What do you say? Apprentice?”
Overtaken by enthusiasm, she stuck a hoof forward to shake before what the satyr had said fully hit her, causing her to yank her leg back and glare up at him. “Partners.”
“Fine,” Ace sighed to conceal his smile. Maybe she wouldn’t be completely hopeless after all. “Partners it is.”
They shook on it firmly. Each one watching the other for any sign of deception. Apparently satisfied, Gale pulled back first and looked over at her new companion in crime.
“So then, what’s our first move?” She asked, honestly curious how the big league thieves worked.
Ace had already moved across the room, throwing what few belongings he had into a bag which was then thrown onto his back. “The same as our previous move, we leave.”
“This dump?”
The satyr spared a few seconds to look offended before he threw a second bag over to Gale, “No, the city. I’ve already attracted too much attention here so it’s time to move on. Besides, I’ve already done all that I came here to do.”
“So we’re running?” She said, lifting the bag onto her back and balancing it between her wings.
“To put it bluntly, yes.” He replied before heaving open the slightly rotted door and walking out without a second glance.
Sighing, Gale quickly hurried after her fellow thief. It seemed the more things changed, the more they stayed the same.
He awoke to the smell of blood.
Slowly, like a child waking up on a school day, Grante opened his eyes, blinking them clear as he took in his surroundings. He appeared to be in a cave. Unfamiliar walls of rough stone surrounded him whilst a dampness hung heavy in the air. Carefully raising his large body up, wincing at the aches that inhabited his muscles, he approached one wall to examine it. The rock was more than just rough, it was freshly cut. Though ‘cut’ was a bit of an optimistic description. It looked more like huge chunks had been ripped out of it by something with wicked claws.
Sighing, Grante headed towards the mouth of the cave. He had a suspicion of what had happened, but needed to confirm it to himself. Sure enough, as he stepped into the blinding sunlight, he almost tripped on a pile of rubble that lay haphazardly outside the cave. He wearily lifted his own hands in front of him, seeing for the first time the deep cuts and the shards of rock that were buried in his thick skin.
“I’ve got to say, I like what you’ve done with the place.” A grating voice called out to him from his right.
Grante instantly swung around, his fists coming up into a familiar stance as he prepared to attack the intruder. Standing in front of him was a chocolate brown unicorn stallion, smirking at the minotaur’s reaction. For a moment, Grante considered carrying through and striking the smug look off the pony’s face. It was something that he had been wanting to do for a very long time. Eventually though, he lowered his fists.
“Grin.”
“Grante.” Gleaming Grin nodded, “Word on the ol’ grapevine is that you fucked up royal. Who woulda’ thought it right?”
“What do you want here Grin?” The enforcer growled, not willing to let the self-absorbed unicorn get lost in his rambling.
“Bit rude. What’s wrong Horns? Not feeling up to an old tongue wag?” Grin sauntered forwards with deliberate slowness before seating himself on the pile of rocks. He lifted one hoof up before examining the underside, tutting to himself as he did so. “Damn. I just got these buffed you know. Shame you’re not more talkative. I always did enjoy our conversations.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“See? Soul of a poet you have Horns.” Grin shot his namesake at Grante, adding in a wink as well.
“I am going to give you five seconds to explain why I should not bury you in this cave.” Grante said, tightening his hand into a fist once more.
Rather than being intimidated as most sane people would, Grin just shook his head in disappointment. “See, that’s your problem. You pretend to be this upright gentleman, apologizing to folks and tipping your hat. But, at the end of the day, you’re still just another minotaur. A big brute good for hitting people and little else.”
Roaring, Grante swung a huge fist at the unicorn, seeking to smash the pony’s face in. Just as he was about to lean into the swing, his body froze up, holding him in place with unnatural force. No matter how much he tried, his body refused to move against the invisible bonds that held him back. In front of him, Grin stared up at the minotaur, a hint of sadness in his eyes.
“And, when you can’t solve your problems with violence, you really don’t know how to solve them at all do you?” The pony sighed before standing up and walking around the statue that was Grante, “See, the boss is a wee bit displeased with you. Something about you screwing up one of the best chances we had to remove Ace permanently. Personally, I don’t see why we have to kill him at all. Everyone’s got a price after all.” Grin frowned for a moment, “But I digress.”
Grin lightly tapped one hoof on the ground and, instantly, Grante felt his muscles return to his control. Stumbling slightly, he managed to catch himself before he fell. Once he managed to stand back up fully again, he glared at Grin.
“Please don’t try that again. I told you, the boss ain’t happy with you, meaning for the time being he’s given your leash over to me.” The unicorn smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Just imagine all the fun we could have with this.”
Grante, through incredible mental discipline, managed to restrain the urge to try and bash the unicorn’s head in again.
“Shame we’re on company time. Maybe some other time eh?”
Steadily ignoring the stallion, Grante grunted, “So what? Am I supposed to follow you around until we deal with this problem?”
“No, you misunderstand. I shall deal with the Ace problem, you shall be a good little thug and go and guard our remaining assets. We’ve lost far too much to this guy already. Our people are beginning to lose faith in their leadership.” For the first time, Grin’s eyes turned hard as he practically growled, “Show them that we’re still on top.”
Not wanting to verbalise the fact that he actually agreed with his colleague, Grante simply nodded. “And you? Ace is well known for his disappearing tricks. How exactly are you planning to track him down?”
The stallion simply smiled, “Please Horns, a gal’s got to have some secrets right?”