//------------------------------//
// Crosseyed and Painless 
// Story: Cubic Zirconia 
// by arcum42 
//------------------------------//

Now that she was outside, maneuvering the wheelchair was rather more difficult. Diamond had to watch for rocks and apples and other such obstacles. She had to stay on the dirt paths now, and it was difficult to avoid getting all that icky dust on her that the wheels kicked up.

It didn't help that Apple Bloom kept looking backwards and glaring at her. She wasn't even sure she understood why. She'd much rather have somepony pushing her anywhere she wanted rather than having to walk everywhere.

Better yet, how about having several ponies carry her around in a chair? They could give her something to drink when she was thirsty, snacks, and wipe off the sweat on her forehead when she was hot. It would be even better if they were ponies she didn't really like.

Pushing this chair around wasn't so bad, though. It was just a matter of keeping an eye on where you were moving it to. It was just a matter of watching that turn, avoiding those rocks, going around that tree ahead, making sure not to crash into that boulder… actually, wait, no, that was Apple Bloom's brother ahead.

What was his name again? Big Mac, wasn't it? Had there ever been a Little Mac? Maybe he had actually been Little Mac originally, and it had just been changed when he got big.

Either way, that was him right ahead of her, blocking the path. Diamond stopped pushing the wheelchair. She really hoped he wasn't in a yelling and killing her type of mood right now. For all she knew, Apple Bloom took after him.

It didn't seem too likely as he got closer and she got a good look. His head was hung low, and he seemed a bit more flushed than usual as he walked towards her, though it was hard to tell with all that red.

As he came up to the wheelchair, he nodded to Apple Bloom, said "Lil' sis," and then continued around to Diamond. Stopping there, they both stood in silence until he finally spoke.

"I reckon I shouldn't have yelled at you back there."

"No," Diamond replied, "you shouldn't have."

"It seems I owe you an apology. Shouldn'ta have jumped to conclusions."

"Why's everypony being nice to her all of the sudden?" Apple Bloom grumped. "She broke my legs!"

Big Macintosh turned to her and frowned. "Now you just hush. I was yelling because I thought she'd hurt you, an' now I find out that you were the one doin' the hurtin'. You should be ashamed. She was a guest, an' you don't do that unless they're tryin' to hurt you first. I know you're upset, an' I know what happened to your legs, but that ain't how we Apples do things."

Apple Bloom slumped downward in her chair and seemed to become a bit smaller. "But I…"

"You an' me will talk 'bout this later," he said firmly. He looked back at Diamond. "Again, my apologies for my and my sister’s actions, Miss Tiara. I'll just be on my way."

Without saying another word, he continued on past them, nodding briefly to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo as he went by.

After a minute of standing there wondering about the sudden turnaround, Diamond continued down the path. It wasn't actually that far to the clubhouse from where she was, and in a minute she was standing at the bottom of the ramp up. She looked it over dubiously, and back at the wheelchair.

"I think I can get you up there, but all those bumps are going to make it pretty tough," she told Apple Bloom.

"Yeah. I forgot 'bout those," Apple Bloom said faintly, not sounding nearly as cocky as earlier. "I thought those hoofholds were a real good idea when I made the ramp, but now I'm not so sure. I didn't want anypony slipping, so they'll make it so you don't go too far, but I never thought 'bout wheelchairs."

"You made the ramp yourself?" Diamond asked. That sounded like a lot of work, cutting things, banging on nails, getting splinters and all that. It was exhausting just to think about.

"She made most of the clubhouse herself, really," Sweetie Belle said softly from behind Diamond. "It was a real wreck when we got it, and most of it needed to be totally rebuilt."

"You made most of it?" Diamond looked back at the clubhouse in a new light. "And you still don't have your cutie mark?"

"Can't you at least let up on the whole 'blank flank' thing for once?" Apple Bloom said.

"No, its just, well, that's a lot of work, and it looks pretty well made. I'm just surprised if you can build things that well that you didn't get a cutie mark for it."

"Wouldn't that have been ironic?" Scootaloo said. "Spending all that time getting the clubhouse together so we could go crusading to find our cutie marks, and then getting a cutie mark for it and not having to use it?"

"Let's just get up past all those bumps. They're not going to get better looking at them," Apple Bloom said, sounding more than a little embarrassed.

Diamond shrugged and started going up. It was pretty tempting to make each bump as rough as possible, but things hadn't gone well last time she'd given in to temptation, and she wanted to at least try to do this properly. It was slow, but eventually she made it to the top, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle behind her.

"Okay, we're here. Why don't you say what you have to say, then you can get back home and we can have our meeting? " Apple Bloom said. "I'm sure there are all sorts of things you'd rather be doing."

A hard lump formed in Diamond's throat. This wouldn't be easy. "First, you won't tell anypony about what I'm going to say. I need your promise on that."

"Why not? Didn't you want us to spread all the juicy gossip all over Ponyville?"

"That was different!"

"I'm not sure how," Apple Bloom said. "None of the ponies we wrote about for you wanted their secrets talked about."

"And that worked out so well for you that you want to try it again, huh?" Diamond took a few deep breaths. "Look, I already told Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle about this, and they promised. Can't you?"

"Will that get it over faster?" Apple Bloom sighed. "Fine. I promise. Now talk."

It was now or never, she supposed. never might have been better.

"So, about that night… Miss Cheerilee came over to talk to Daddy. She wasn't happy, and he was really upset at me."

"Good," Apple Bloom said. "He should be. I guess he's actually punishing you this time, instead of letting you off the hook like usual? Is that why you're acting so weird?"

She walked out in front of Apple Bloom’s wheelchair.

"Look, didn't you notice something missing?" She passed a forehoof through the air above her mane, to illustrate her point.

"Huh. You do usually wear that thing everywhere, don't you? You got it taken away?"

"Not taken away. He… he broke it. I don't think it could be fixed." She closed her eyes, feeling weary. She supposed she should have been more upset than she was right now, but she'd she'd been through so much recently that it was starting to just all feel numb. 

"Geez. So that's why you decided to apologize and all this?"

"It's not just that that. Afterwards, he, well, he kicked… he kicked me out." Diamond took another deep breath. "He said I wasn't his daughter any more."

It was out there, at least. Goal met. Now she could either chauffeur Apple Bloom around in her wheelchair, or go crawl off in a hole somewhere and die. She wasn't sure she cared which at the moment.

"Well, that's not right. How could you not be his daughter any more? That's not how families work. He might have gotten angry an' grounded you, but he'd still be your family. That's what families are for. They're there when you need them. That's the whole point. He couldn't have done that. Could he?"

"Not all families are like yours, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo said.

"You know, no comparison to Scoots, but my parents don't really remember I'm there most of the time. If I'm not home, they figure I'm with Rarity. That might usually be true, but…" Sweetie Belle trailed off.

"And your mother just went along with this?"

"Mommy… mommy's dead," Diamond said, a little perplexed. "Weren't you at the funeral a few years ago? I thought the whole Apple family was there. You didn't know that?"

"There was a funeral a few years ago, wasn't there? I don't think I was ever told who it was for, though. Right. So who are you living with now?"

Now that was a tricky one. "That's really why I needed to tell you about this. I've spent the last couple of nights here. We'll probably be seeing each other a lot, I'm afraid."

"In the clubhouse? Scoots, you're okay with this?"

"She doesn't have anywhere else to stay. You remember where I was sleeping before the clubhouse, don't you?"

"Yeah, but it's our clubhouse? Don't you have any other relatives that could take you in?"

"Not in Ponyville," Diamond said.

"Well, outside of Ponyville, then," Apple Bloom said. "It's not like you have to stay here."

Diamond spent a minute in thought. "I… I think I have an aunt somewhere. I haven't seen her in a long time."

"There you go, then, go live with her," Apple Bloom said matter of factly.

"Move away from Ponyville?" Ponyville was her home. It was the only place she'd ever lived. Even thinking about going somewhere else was weird. "I don't actually know where she lives. I'm not even sure she's alive. She had a big fight with Daddy a few years ago, and I haven't seen her since."

It wasn't like she'd have a reason to take her in, either, if she wasn't on good terms with Daddy.

"You could try to find out. I don't really like the idea of you staying in my clubhouse…"

Sweetie Belle stepped between them. "Diamond, could you go outside? It'll just be a few minutes. I think we need to talk about this."

Oh good, another important conversation she wouldn't be in the room for.

"Fine," she said, walking out the door. She decided to lie on the ramp just outside, out of view. It might be uncomfortable, with the bumps working into her back, but she wanted to hear some of what was going on. 

"Look, her situation sucks, but this is our special place. It's not like we owe her anything. She's always been horrible to us."

"Sweetie Belle, could you remind Apple Bloom of the spot I was in when we first met? She needs help. Diamond isn't able to cope with all of this herself, and she shouldn't have to."

"We really should let her stay here. It'd be better if we could get her to tell somepony and have her get a real home, but since she's as stubborn as another pony I know, I think we should let her stay."

"Why are the two of you on her side?"

"Look, I've been thinking," Sweetie Belle continued. "Remember Babs?"

"What about Babs?"

"Remember what we did to the float? I know we tried to stop it, but suppose things had happened a little differently? What if Babs had ended up breaking her legs in the crash, and it was all our fault? I don't like what Diamond did, but I can understand it. We're not that much better, really."

"I… I guess. I don't like it, but… it'd be pretty bad of me not let her stay, wouldn't it? It's just… I'm stuck here in this chair. I can't walk around by myself, and even need help getting to the bathroom. Things are all in pieces, and I'm really mad an' upset. It's easier if I have somepony to be mad at. I just… I don't know what I'm supposed to do…"

Starting to feel uncomfortable, Diamond quietly got up and went down to the ground, where she wouldn't hear as well. With as bad as she was acting, it was hard to remember, but Apple Bloom was about as bad off right now as she was, wasn't she?

That probably should have been obvious. It was hardly like she'd never taken out her problems on everypony around her. It just didn't feel the same when it was somepony else doing it, especially since it was her fault.

There'd been some other interesting information. So they'd really been responsible for that float crashing? Why had Babs picked them over her, then? Maybe they just didn't tell her. Babs had been such a lousy friend, though. They spent all that time together and she got ditched without warning like that?

There had been that crack about her mother, too. That had hurt more than the mud. She'd really wanted to get her back about that for quite a while. But then, that's how she'd gotten into this mess.

After the last bit she'd heard, she was more than content to be excluded from the rest of the meeting. That had seemed like something that really should be private.

She'd feel better about sitting out here if she had something to eat, of course. She wasn't even sure if lunch was going to happen, with the way things were these days.

Not knowing when your next meal was was certainly going to get old. She should have been able to wave one hoof and have a fire-roasted eggplant sandwich in it the next. Well, maybe something a little less fancy. The cook had left a few weeks ago, after all. Grey had been pretty good at getting her something suitable to eat even after that, though.

Everything that came next was basically up to the Crusaders. If they were going to go to town, she should come along and push the wheelchair there. She wouldn't be surprised if she managed to get another free meal from Sweetie Belle if they did. Should she feel guilty that she was doing that so often?

"Diamond?" Sweetie Belle's voice came from behind her, almost as if she was summoned by thinking of her. "You can come back up to the clubhouse now. We're done talking."

Diamond got up, and followed Sweetie Belle back up the ramp, and went in the clubhouse once again. Scootaloo was sitting on her cushion, and Apple Bloom's eyes were red and slightly damp.

"I guess you can stay here," Apple Bloom said, without any sort of opening. "though you'd be better off just telling somepony about it. But you said you wanted to spend your time pushing me around in my wheelchair earlier?"

"It seemed like one of the few things I can do to make up for things, and it's not like I don't have time now. I've got nothing but time, really."

"You’re doing a lot better at it than Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were, so I guess if you're gonna be around that much, we can do that. You'll probably be able to get snacks and such, too, as long as my family knows you're helping," Apple Bloom smiled, as if she'd just thought of something. "That means you're working for me, and will do anything I say, doesn't it?"

Visions of Apple Bloom ordering her to do all sorts of embarrassing things as vengeance went through Diamond's mind. 

"I'll do anything Scootaloo says," she quickly amended. "If I think it's reasonable I'll do it, but otherwise, Scootaloo can decide if it's fair."

Right after that, she remembered Pinkie Pie's whole weird thing about being Scootaloo's pet, and wondered if this was a good idea. Too late now, of course.

"I guess the two of you are getting along, at least, then? That was one of the things I was worried about with you staying here."

"I can live with Scootaloo. Other than the first night, she's been fine. It's everypony else I have to worry about."

"Scoots did let you know that Miss Cheerilee gave them detention and talked to the class, right?" Sweetie Belle said. "I don't think they'll give you trouble if you come to class on Monday."

"Wait, gave who detention? Talked to the class about what?" Apple Bloom asked. "What have I missed?"

"I missed most of it, too, but I guess you weren't the only one upset with Diamond," Sweetie Belle said. "She kinda got ambushed at lunch a few days ago."

"It was by Snips, Snails, Rumble, and I think her name was Archer. They thought breaking my legs in return for yours was a good idea. Hurt myself getting away, too."

Scootaloo looked a little uneasy. Just as Diamond was wondering why, Sweetie Belle spoke.

"That's right, you've been sorta avoiding Archer, haven't you, Scoots?"

Scootaloo barely nodded.

"Really? Why?" Then something occurred to her. "Archer actually does look a lot like you without wings, doesn't she?"

She wasn't expecting Scootaloo to violently flinch after she said that. Sweetie Belle quickly was next to her, and moments later had Scootaloo locked in a big hug.

"I said something, didn't I?" As her mental gears ticked away, one thought presented itself to her. "You're worried she might be related to you, aren't you? That she might have heard you’re missing, and let your parents know where you are?"

"Not any more. I happened to overhear Archer tell somepony once that there was no way the two of us could be related. It seems she has a pure bloodline. Nothing but earth ponies all the way back, on both sides of her family."

There was enough sarcasm in Scootaloo's voice for Diamond to be sure she was missing something. 

"I think my grandmother was a unicorn, though she died before I was born," Diamond said. "I could see most of your family only being earth ponies, but all? Does that really happen?"

"Not really, but some ponies think it does. It's pretty- Sweetie Belle, could you stop squeezing? I can't breathe!"

"Sorry."

Sweetie Belle reluctantly let go of Scootaloo, though she didn't want to seem to move from near her.

"It's pretty unlikely, anyways. I'd think somepony along the line'd be adopted, or not have the mother or father they think they do."

"That just seems weird." She glanced at Apple Bloom, wondering if she actually had any pegasi or unicorns in her family. "It's not like what type of pony you are matters."

"Really?" Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. "I might have been wrong about you."

"That should be obvious. What matters is how much money they have, their connections, and what they can do for you."

"Oh. Never mind, I might not have been."

Diamond decided to change the subject. "Didn't we come here so you could discuss what to do to get your cutie marks?"

"I'm not even sure what we haven't done at this point," Apple Bloom said. "I think we were going to be brainstorming about it."

"Have we tried mining?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I don't think the wheelchair would fit down in a mine," Diamond stated. "You do realize you aren't likely to all have the same talent, right?"

"Well, yeah, but..." Apple Bloom said.

"And your special talent can be something you've done before, too. It doesn't have to be something you've never done. It probably isn't."

"Look, we know all that, okay?" Sweetie Belle said. "We just haven't come up with anything better, that's all." She looked over at Diamond's flank. "What if you tell us how you got your cutie mark?"

How she got her cutie mark? "That wouldn't help much."

"It might," Apple Bloom said. "Why don't you tell us anyways?"

"I'd really rather not talk about it," Diamond said. It had been an important moment for her, and she'd been excited to get it, but thinking back on it, it just seemed… hollow, somehow.

"I'd really rather not be wearing casts and sitting in a wheelchair. You said you'd do anything I asked, and it's not like this is a big deal. Let's hear it," Apple Bloom said. "If it's alright with Scoots, that is."

Diamond looked at Scootaloo, and when she failed to object, sighed. It wasn't like there was much to it.

"Fine," Diamond said. "I was looking in a really big mirror in my room one day, trying on my tiara in different poses. Suddenly there was a flash and I had a tiara on my flank, too. I was so excited to get a cutie mark at the time, I don't even remember what I was thinking about when I got it. See what I mean?"

Apple Bloom looked over at Diamond Tiara in envy. "That is so unfair!"

A wave of irritation she didn't even know she had swept over Diamond Tiara, and a dam burst inside of her. Apple Bloom thought that was something to be pleased with? Proud, even? Not even really thinking about what she was saying, she exploded.

"You think that's unfair? I'll tell you what unfair is!" she ranted. "The three of you could be a doctor, a lawyer, or even the next mayor. You could be anything! I can't! What kind of special talent is looking good in a tiara, especially when I don't even have one? How'd you like your cutie mark to be for being totally useless?"

And it was true. She hadn't quite acknowledged it until now, but it must have been there beneath the surface for quite a while. She just hadn't really wanted to admit it to herself, especially with how special that tiara had always been to her. But she, and her talent, weren't good for much of anything at all.

She felt a pair of forelegs wrap around her, and didn't even have to look over to realise it was Sweetie Belle.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Sweetie Belle said, as she hugged Diamond. "You've been jealous of us ever since your cuteceañera, haven't you?"

As quickly as the rant had come, it went. It was hard to stay upset when you had Sweetie Belle hugging you, and she was so tired. 

"Maybe," she mumbled.

With Sweetie Belle's forearms wrapped around her, and her chest against her, she could see why Scootaloo had settled down so fast. With Sweetie Belle's soft, fluffy fur pressed against her, she made herself a promise.

She was going to track down whatever conditioner she was using, and get herself a couple of bottles.

She heard Apple Bloom sigh. "How 'bout if we just go to town, try to have some fun, get some lunch, and not think about things? No talking about cutie marks, my legs, being useless, or anything else likely to get any of us upset. I'm kind of tired anyways. Didn't think I would be, having been in bed all the time."

"I had to pick up a bunch of things from the Carousel Boutique, so that's fine with me," Diamond said, "and didn't you have to take the wagon in for repair, Scoots?"

"I already did," Scootaloo replied. "You didn't think I actually went over to see your father, right?"

She hadn't, but it was nice to hear it confirmed. 

"I'm kinda hungry, too," Sweetie Belle said. "Let's go for it."

With the general consensus, Diamond got behind the wheelchair, and wheeled it slowly back out of the clubhouse, one bump at a time. With Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle following, she started off until she got to the top of a hill. Apple Bloom held a hoof up, and she stopped.

"I've got an idea. Let's have some fun. Scoots, sit over to my left, on the armrest, and Sweetie Belle, go to my right."

"Wait just a moment…" Diamond protested, as they climbed on board. Apple Bloom grinned and whistled. Winona bounded up from somewhere onto her lap, and Apple Bloom picked her up and sat her down right on top of her head. "Now, lets go."

"I'm supposed to push all of that?!"

Apple Bloom just smiled and started talking in a silly voice.

"Space. The final frontier. There are the voyages of the Chairship-" She looked around for a moment. "Appleprize, on its continuing mission. To seek out new life. To explore strange new places and get our cutie marks. To boldly go where nopony has gone before!"

"What's our mission today, Captain Bloom?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Today we're going on a expedition to meet with, um, the fierce felines of the planet, er, Fabritex."

"I'm not sure I can push all of you at once!" Diamond said. "We might crash!"

"No, no, you've got to get into the spirit of things!" Apple Bloom said. "Lieutenant Scoot?"

"The engines canna take much more of this Captain! They're going to blow!"

"Much better."

As the wheelchair sped down the hill and Diamond clung to its back, not knowing what else to do, she found herself laughing hysterically, accompanied by the occasional bark from Winona, as they rolled on into town.