//------------------------------// // The Bridled Banker: A Magic Garden/Won't Be Like This // Story: Twilight: The Consulting Detective // by A Wise Pony //------------------------------// SPOILER WARNING: This Ponified episode contains heavy reference to the BBC Series Sherlock's 2nd episode, The Blind Banker. DO NOT READ IF YOU OBJECT TO THESE SPOILERS! Sherlock © the BBC All MLP Characters © Hasbro. Unofficial names used where real names are unknown. Several fires in steel drums illuminated the tramway tunnel. Applejack groaned as she came to, then winced at the wound on her head. Last thing she remembered was opening the door and having somepony knock her out. Now she was tied to a chair in this place. She shook her head to clear it and tested her jaw, making sure nothing was broken. Several ponies stood just outside the light the fire cast. To her left, she saw Soarin' bound and gagged in another chair, panic in his eyes. “A book is like a magic garden,” a voice recited, “carried in your pocket.” That voice...she'd heard it earlier today. The mysterious mare she'd seen taking pictures of her and Twilight stepped out of the shadows. The ringleader walked closer, then removed her sunglasses. “Chineighse proverb, Ms. Sparkle,” she said. “I'm not Twilight Sparkle,” Applejack corrected her. “Forgive me if I do not take your word for it.” The mare reached into Applejack's pocket and pulled out her wallet. She searched through it. “Debit card, name of T. Sparkle.” “Yeah, that's not actually mine. She lent that to me,” Applejack explained. The ringleader found something else. “A check for five thousand bits made out in the name of Ms. Twilight Sparkle,” she said, withdrawing the check from the bank. “She gave me that to look after,” Applejack said. “Tickets from the theater, collected by you, name of Sparkle,” the mare continued, displaying the next piece of evidence. “Yes, okay, I can see what this looks like, but I'm not her.” “We heard it from your own mouth,” the mare claimed. “What?” Applejack said in disbelief. “'I am Twilight Sparkle',” the mare quoted, “'and I always work alone.'” Applejack remembered the rest of the angry words: Because no pony else can compete with my massive intellect! “Did I really say that?” She shook her head. That had been stupid, venting like that. She sighed. “I guess there's no use in me telling you I was doing an impression-” She stopped talking as the ringleader raised a gun and pointed it at her head. “I am Scroll,” the pony introduced herself. “You're—you're Scroll?” Applejack said in surprise. “Three times we tried to kill you and your companion, Ms. Sparkle,” the beige pony told her, cocking the gun. “What does it tell you when an assassin cannot shoot straight?” Applejack struggled against her bonds as the criminal leader pulled the trigger. Applejack stiffened, but the gun only clicked: Empty. “It tells you that they're not really trying,” the general concluded. *** Twilight tore her gaze from the symbols and went over to the book case. “Tramway...” she pulled out a map of the tram system. She scanned over it, then found the location she needed. She left the flat, the route fixed in her head. *** Back in the tram tunnel, Scroll reloaded the gun. “Not blank bullets now,” she said menacingly. “If we wanted to kill you, Ms. Sparkle, we would have done it by now. We just wanted to make you inquisitive. Do you have it?” “Do I have what?” Applejack asked. “The treasure,” the general said. “I don't know what you're talking about,” the earth pony protested. “I would prefer to make certain.” Scroll gestured to the rest of her gang. One member pulled a tarp off of an easily recognized object: The crossbow from the circus. An arrow was already loaded in it, although it was facing away from them. “Everything in the West has its price,” Scroll informed her. “And the price for his life,” she continued, looking at Soarin', “information.” Two gang members picked up Soarin's chair, moving him to be on the side of the crossbow that the weapon was aimed at. He struggled even more, but the ropes had been tied tightly. “Where's the hairpin?” Scroll demanded. “What?” Applejack asked, even more confused. “The Empress' pin, valued at nine million bits.” Scroll said impatiently. “We already had a buyer in the West, and then one of our ponies was greedy. He took it, brought it back to London, and you, Ms. Sparkle, have been searching.” “Look, please, just listen to me,” Applejack said. “I'm not Twilight Sparkle, you have to believe me. I haven't found whatever it is you're looking for.” The general ignored her pleas. “I need a volunteer from the audience,” she said, turning back towards the bow. “No, please, please.” Applejack tugged at the ropes, but the years of circus acts had prepared the gangsters well for binding unwilling participants. “Ah, thank you, kind sir,” Scroll said to Soarin'. “Yes, you'll do very nicely.” The pegasus redoubled his efforts. Scroll stabbed the sandbag above the bow. The sand began to fall and the weight began to lower, just as before. “Fillies and gentlecolts,” Scroll told an imaginary audience, “from the distant moonlit shores of NW1, we present for your pleasure, Twilight Sparkle's handsome companion in a death-defying act.” “Please!” Applejack begged. The general placed a black paper diamond on Soarin's leg. “You've seen the act before,” she said in mock sadness. “How dull for you. You know how it ends.” “I'm not Twilight Sparkle!” Applejack shouted. “I don't believe you,” Scroll replied. “You should, you know.” The gangsters spun around at the sound of a new voice. A shadowy figure darted across the dark tunnel. “Twilight Sparkle is nothing at all like her. How would you describe me, Applejack,” the detective asked. “Resourceful? Dynamic? Enigmatic?” “Late?” the earth pony offered. One of the gangsters trotted into the darkness to try and catch the unicorn. Scroll locked and loaded the gun. “That's a semi-automatic,” Twilight reminded the general. “If you fire it, the bullet will travel at over a thousand meters per second.” “Well?” the gang leader asked, aiming towards the sound of the voice. “Well-” A glowing length of pipe spun through the air and hit the approaching gangster in the head, knocking him out cold. Twilight darted across the tunnel, using the collapsing stallion as cover. “The radius curvature of these walls is nearly four meters. If you miss, the bullet will ricochet. Could hit anypony. Might even bounce off the tunnel and hit you.” She sprinted out of the darkness on Scroll's left and kicked over a fire can, extinguishing it as she faded into the shadows once more. Rather than risk confrontation, the general followed suit, melting into the darkness. Twilight reappeared behind Soarin's chair and started working on the ropes with magic. Then a length of cloth wrapped around her neck. The Spider had not fled, and was instead trying to choke her yet again. The earth pony and the unicorn struggled. Soarin' stared in terror at the still dropping weight. Zhi Zhu started wrapping the fabric around Twilight, further immobilizing her. Applejack took a chance and tottered towards the crossbow on her two back hooves. She almost made it before the chair caught on something and she fell on her side. Soarin's gaze fell onto the inevitable arrow. All he could do was watch, as the weight got closer and closer to the trigger. At the last second, Applejack spun herself around and kicked one of the bow's support legs. The weapon turned away from Soarin' as the weight touched the trigger. The arrow flew through the air and impaled Zhi Zhu. She dropped the rope as she fell, releasing Twilight. The unicorn freed herself from the cloth. At the sound of rapid hoofbeats, she turned to see Scroll galloping away. She almost gave chase, then turned and untied Soarin' “It's alright, she assured the pegasus. “You're going to be alright. It's over now.” The ropes fell away, followed by the gag. The pegasus started sobbing in relief. “Don't worry,” Applejack assured him from the ground. “Next date won't be like this.” ***