//------------------------------// // 6. Promises // Story: Twilight's World // by grouchopony //------------------------------// For Twilight, it had been a long and trying day. From the first moment she woke up, to find herself locked in a strange creature's embrace, followed later by her private emotional breakdown to her recent adventures with Mike. Through it all, she had wanted nothing more than a simple cup of tea. Finally, when her desire reached the level of desperation, she had broken off Mikes tour. Now she had her tea, and she was going to savor every moment of it. I so needed this. Twilight sighed blissfully to herself, taking a small sip. It wasn't the best tea she had ever had, not by any measure, but right now it was more satisfying than anything she could remember. Her peace was not to last. As soon as Mike made mention of supper her abdomen started rumbling. Embarrassed, Twilight decided she couldn’t wait that long. “I’d rather not wait that long. Could you just make me a sandwich or something?” “Do you have any special dietary requirements Twilight?” Mike inquired. “No nothing special, just what any pony would eat,” she replied, still determined to spend some quiet time with her tea. I don't care what he makes, just leave me alone with my tea. “Ahh, what exactly does a pony eat?” Well, I guess that's a valid question. Twilight breezily listed off a few items, “Oh just normal stuff like Sandwiches, Cakes, Fruits, Salads, Hay, Vegeta-” “Hay! You eat hay?” “Of course, it's not overly nutritious, though. We mostly use it as a filler to bulk up meals and to add fiber. But I'll eat some if you have any.” “Sorry, no hay, humans can't digest cellulose; so I don't have hay or anything like it in this house.” “Fruit. Do you have any fruit? An apple maybe?” “Nope. I can't stand how apples get all soft and mealy at this time of year. If it's not crisp, I won't eat it. So I don't have any–” Soft and mealy? Don't they have proper food preservation spells? “-apples. I've got some bananas and oranges, though.” Yuck thought Twilight who was not partial to bananas. Oranges? No, I don't want any juice, I've got this tea. She took another sip. “I'll pass on those. Maybe a Daffodil sandwich?” she asked hopefully. Mike blinked in astonishment. “Daffodils? You put Daffodils on your sandwiches?” “Mmm-hmm. It’s one of my favorites. Haven’t you tried them?” “No, and I never will. Daffodils are toxic. Maybe I should just say that humans generally do not eat flowers because so many of them are poisonous.” Now it was Twilight's turn to be astonished. Flowers are toxic...? “Well what do you have to put on your sandwiches then?” she asked. “Let me think, I have cheese, lettuce, tomato...” Mike did something odd with his fingers, too quickly for her to see, yielding a sharp snapping noise, “I know, I can make you a BLT.” “A BLT?” she asked, puzzlement in her voice; forgetting for the moment his mention of cheese. “Yeah, BLT. It stands for bacon, lettuce, and tomato. It's a great sandwich.” “Well if you say so. Twilight agreed, not so sure of the ‘bay-con.' She was about to ask when another growl from her stomach forced her hoof. “Fine, I'll try one of those. Only, no cheese!” “Alright. You won't be sorry. Would you like the bread toasted?” “I don't know, you’re the chef. What do you recommend?” “Toasted, definitely. It adds to the flavor.” “Then, yes please.” Mike proceeded to get busy. First, he opened a drawer under his kitchen counter and withdrew a package from it. It appeared to be a loaf of bread, bagged in something resembling cellophane. He simply reached into the bag and pulled out several slices of bread. What's with that bread? The loaf has lines in it... Wow. It's pre-sliced! Twilight marveled at the utter simplicity of the concept. I can think of any number of ponies whose lives would be easier if they didn't have to struggle with simply cutting a slice of bread. Why has nopony thought of this already? No, they probably have thought of it. It doesn’t work because with that many cuts in it, the bread will quickly go stale. Maybe that strange cellophane is the secret. I'll have to ask him about it. Instead of asking, however, she took another sip of her tea. She watched as Mike picked up two slices of the bread and inserted them into a mysterious box located at the other end of his counter. He depressed a tab on the side of the box and the bread slices sank down into its interior. “What's that device you put the bread into?” “It’s called a toaster. It toasts bread.” “Oh.” replied Twilight, realizing she had always relied on Spike to 'toast' her bread with his fiery breath. Why don't I know how to toast bread? While Mike's answer was complete, she felt it was lacking in details. She was too embarrassed to ask further. Mike must have caught something in her tone of voice, because he spoke up again, “It uses electricity to heat coils of wire. The heat toasts the bread slices.” “Really?” Twilight walked over to the counter and stood up on her hind legs, leaning over the toaster. I can see the coils, they're glowing bright red! I can even feel the heat on my face, that's quite the inferno in there. To think this is being done without magic. Twilight stood there staring into the toaster. Too distracted to notice any of Mike's other activities. Twilight's intensive study of the toaster was interrupted by a sequence of beeps and a mysterious humming noise coming from a large black box hanging from an overhead cabinet. Mike had apparently done something with it. Beep! Before she could ask about whatever was making those strange new noises, Mike reached up and removed a tray from inside it. Ewww. Twilight recoiled as a slightly sweet yet also slightly rancid odor wafted by her nose. “What is that?” she demanded, aghast at the smell. “It’s bacon!” Mike sniffed deeply, waving his hand under his nose. “Smells great, don't you think?” No, I don't think it smells great. Twilight politely kept her inner thoughts to herself. “I'm not sure," she replied cautiously. "What is bay-con?” Mike's face suddenly showed surprise. “Bacon is meat. I thought you knew, though, I was kind of surprised when you didn’t object to having some.” Clunk! The toaster made a noise behind her. ---------------- At the mention of meat, Twilight’s mind immediately flashed back to the harpy incident. Her pupils shrank, her head pulled back, she reared up, and for the first time, Mike saw her wings flare out. “MEAT!” she yelled. “You murdered somepony! And now your eating them? MONSTER!” “Twilight, what–” Mike protested his confusion. “Stay right there monster. Don't move!” Twilight levitated Mike up and off the floor, his limbs flailed wildly. “Waahh!” he screamed. “Put me down!” “You won't have a chance to hurt me! You, you PREDATOR!” she screamed back, her mind filled with the terrifying image half of a half butchered carcass. Twilight was extremely upset at the sudden turn of events and breathing heavily, trying to gain some measure of control over her galloping emotions. I can't believe he fooled me. That Snake! That Carnivore! Deep breaths... Deep breaths... Cadence... Slowly she reigned in most of her anger. She noticed that Mike had also stopped struggling. He had some undefinable expression on his face. What do I do with him now? I can't hold him up forever. I'm not fully recovered yet, and I'll start to feel the strain pretty soon. Twilight cast about, looking for something to tie the beast up with. “I'm sorry I ever helped you.” Mike spat bitterly. “I believed your act, that you were an innocent in need of help. Well, what are you waiting for? Don't make me suffer. Kill me quickly.” “What?!” she screeched. “I'm not a murderer. You're the murderer.” She stamped her hoof for emphasis. “Lies. It's obvious that you are part of an alien invasion..." Mike paused. "What? A murderer?” “Invasion?" She responded with incredulity, his statement confusing her. That makes no sense at all, she thought before exclaiming, "There is no invasion!" Even as she declared her truth, she had to wonder whether this 'Invasion' was part of the story she was trapped in. “A murderer?" Mike repeated himself. "You take that back. I ain't no murderer. You hear me. I am not a murderer!” “Stop denying it! The proof is right there!” She pointed a hoof towards the kitchen counter. “What? I don't see anything.” “There! That meat! What did you call it...” “The bacon? That’s ridiculous. It’s just food.” “Exactly! You had to kill somepony to have that meat!” “That's ridiculous! I haven’t killed anything. I bought that meat at the supermarket.” Supermarket? He must be referring to some kind of market. But there's nothing 'super' about killing innocent ponies. Suddenly she was gripped with nausea at the thought of meat, pony meat, being bought and sold like common produce. She gulped to settle her gorge. “You buy Meat?” she whispered. “That is so obscene. Regardless, you are still abetting and condoning the actions of the real murderers.” “There you go again. Throwing around accusations of murder and killing. Where do you get that?” “Don't you dare deny that somepony had to die to make that… that stuff, that bay-con?” “Well sure, I guess. But if you're worried that it was a pony, it wasn’t. Bacon comes from pigs.” Well thank goodness that it wasn’t a pony. But how does he think the fact that it was a pig makes it any better? Twilight became even angrier. “And is that any better? Pigs have families too. This used to be somepony's sibling.” “You're not making any sense again. Pigs are pigs. They're just animals.” Mike protested. “For your information, monster, you're wrong. I do know something about pigs. My friend Applejack has a small herd of them living on her farm. They're nice friendly creatures, with strong family ties. At times I have overheard them talking to each other about their experiences.” “Are you crazy? Pigs can't talk.” "Not in Equish, no," Twilight replied before catching herself. She lowered her head slightly and pawed at the floor with her forehoof; her ears were pinned back. “Are you trying to deflect the truth by calling me a liar?” “No, but I grew up on a farm, and I know pigs. They don't talk, they don't socialize and they certainly don't have families. They're just dumb animals. Dirty, smelly animals that do nothing more than eat, excrete, and urinate.” Twilight was repulsed by his incredibly derogatory description of pigs. It was greatly at odds with what she knew of the happy and carefree creatures. “How can you say such evil things about them? Sure they like to get dirty, but they have thoughts and feelings too.” “Pigs have feelings? That's ridiculous. Newborn piglets need to be taken from their mother, to prevent her from crushing them to death when she lies down. I know, I've personally seen that happen. And though I've not seen this, it's also a well-known fact sometimes the sow will even eat her own newborn piglets.” When she heard that last part Twilight lost it, she threw up. Even as her stomach tried to turn itself inside out, her magic failed and Mike came crashing down onto the floor. “Bleaaaaghhhh-” was heard from Twilight. “Oooff-” was heard from Mike. ---------------- Oh, dear Celestia. I can't get that image out of my mind! She thought, even as her stomach strained to empty itself once again. She was tormented by a confused melange of images, drawn from her memories of the harpy nest and images of newborn piglets. Several weeks back, a band of harpies had found their way into the Everfree forest. Unhappy creatures with the head of a pony and the body of a buzzard, primitive yet extremely cunning; Harpies were bestial predators that wielded stone tools. Harpies were also rare creatures, long ago driven out of civilized lands by the magic of harmony. It was unheard of to find any within Equestria. And yet a small venue had made their nest next to Ponyville. As a newly minted princess, Twilight had insisted on accompanying the guards, hoping to encounter the fabled creatures. Now, she deeply regretted that decision. One of the local cows had fallen victim to them before their nest was discovered. The harpies’ larder, a scene of butchery, had been beyond disturbing. Please. Not again... She begged as her body clamped itself rigidly into an instinctive posture and her stomach clenched for another heave. Forelegs spread to tilt the barrel forwards; head tilted back aligning the oral cavity with the esophagus, neck straight and angled down towards the ground... The words of a clinical description she had read in a medical text scrolled through her brain. Stop it! I don't want to enhance this experience. “Ohhhh.” she barely noticed the groan from Mike, fully preoccupied as she was with her own misery. Wave after wave of dry heaves continued to assail her body. Suddenly she felt Mike's body alongside her own, gripping her tightly about her around her shoulder. “What's wrong?” he asked. Make it stop. Make it stop. Oh please make it stop. Get it out of my head! “... Sick... buaaaaghhh... Can't... bluuuuuuuu... Stop... uuuuuuugggg... Thinking... gggluuuuuu...” Twilight was panting heavily between heaves, straining to utter even single words. “Eating uaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhh...” Slap! - Her head rocked to the side, a sharp stinging sensation on the side of her face. Slap! - Again the world rocked, and her face stung even more. Twilight was bewildered and confused. Slap! - Suddenly Twilight realized that Mike was positioned in front of her, hitting her with his hand. She focussed her attention on him. She saw his hand was raised to strike her yet again, but it failed to strike. Abruptly he lowered his arm and backed away. A look of concern appeared on his face. “Feeling better?” Twilight glared at him. Her anger was boiling. He hit me! She began then halted her mental tirade as she realized what had happened. Mike had broken her mental fixation. Letting out a sigh, she lowered herself down to the floor. “Yes. I think. I should thank you, except for the fact you are the one who put that awful image in my head.” She lay there for a while on the cold floor. Her head was tilted back and held high, with her eyes closed as she tried to subdue the turmoil in both her body and her mind. After a while, she spoke. “Why Mike? Why did you help me? After I called you a murderer and a killer and restrained you. When I lost it, you could easily have killed me and eaten me.” She cracked her eyes open to look at Mike. “Mmmpfgh.” She was surprised to see Mike struggling with what appeared to be nausea as well. He turned to the side, panting heavily as if he were preparing to spew. “Don't say that! How could you possibly think that I could kill and eat a sapient being? Something that thinks and feels; has dreams and hopes for its future. Urgh- The very thought sickens me!” Twilight was confused. Mike's words would seem to reinforce her position and undermine his own from earlier. “But you're eating the pig-” “I told you,” he cut her off, “pigs are not intelligent. They may be sentient, but they're not sapient. They are, just, dumb, animals.” enunciating the last three words as clearly and distinctly as possible. “But, but...” her mind whirled. How can it be that pigs can't talk, are not intelligent? “But they are intelligent, I know they are.” “Is this some sort of special magical ability of yours Twilight? Are you able converse with animals in their own secret language?” “No, of course not. But I have heard them speaking in their own language, just like you and I are conversing right now. My friend Applejack knows a bit of it and sometimes tells me what they are talking about.” “Twilight, what you are claiming is impossible. Maybe it’s true on the world you come from. But it's certainly not the case here, on Earth.” Maybe in this Story World – It's called Earth? Pigs really are different. But what about other animals? “What about cows?” “Just animals.” “Sheep?” “Animals.” “Bison?” “Animals. Twilight, I have to tell you that the only intelligent creatures to be found on this green earth are us humans. And now,” he added with a sad smile, “yourself.” She was struck speechless by the enormity of what he had said. No other intelligence? Every creature is a dumb animal? A final question came to her. “What about ponies? Surely they can talk.” He looked directly into her eyes. “I'm sorry. Ponies are unintelligent animals also.” Tears came to her eyes. “Then you humans eat ponies.” “No Twilight. We don't eat ponies. At least in this part of the world.” That's not very reassuring. “Here our equines have served in other roles. Mostly as beasts of burden, but they have become much beloved due to their long association with us. It began about three or four thousand years ago if I remember correctly. “Frankly,” he continued, “I don't think it could be any other way. Equines don't thrive in environments where they don't receive appropriate love and care. It’s my belief that humans have adapted themselves to be able to provide those things.” Twilight closed her eyes. She sniffled as her tears threatened to become a runny nose. “Mike, I called you a murderer, I'm sorry for that, but even if every animal is a dumb beast–” “They are.” “That still does not excuse the fact that you humans are killing them.” Mike lifted his hands and dropped them suddenly, a look of exasperation on his face. “What can I say? Humans eat meat. We have been eating it since the beginning of our species. Meat is an essential part of our diet, necessary for maintaining our health. “Yes, I admit it, we are killing those animals. But what could we do? If we spare them, then we ourselves would sicken and die.” “But so much killing…” “Twilight. How can I apologize for being what I am? What meaning would such an apology have? Maybe you don't have to live with it, but I do. I will not fall into the trap of despising myself for being born as a human.” “Yes, you’re right of course. It’s part of your nature. But,” Twilight gave a shudder, “I can't stand the thought of being here, in the same room, the same house even, as the flesh of those poor animals. I can't help but think of how they died, screaming in agony…” Her voice trailed off in a whisper. “We're not monsters Twilight. The thought of inflicting such pain is extremely upsetting to most humans as well. We have devised means of reducing their suffering to a minimum.” “I just know I am going to be sick again, but I have to ask. How?” “Wait a moment; I want to explain in a way that does not give too graphic an image.” Mike paused while Twilight trembled, awaiting his reply. “They use a special tool which delivers an impact to a specific site on the animal's cranium. It results in instant brain trauma and death.” Twilight gulped. “So, they don't suffer?” “I don't believe so… “No. I have to qualify that. Twilight, I can't promise you that the animals don't suffer at all. There's the experience of being forcibly transported to - the site of their coming demise. And once arrived, perhaps they can smell something of the death that awaits them. I'm sure that they do experience fear in some measure. “But as for any physical suffering. I can truthfully assure you that we would never allow those animals to experience the pain of – becoming meat.” Twilight closed her eyes, despairing inside. I really can't blame Mike; he's just following his nature. But oh, the loss of life, it hurts to think about it. The way Mike describes it, it's happening to hundreds of animals. It’s too much. I'm so glad that Fluttershy is not here to find out about this. Mike interrupted her thoughts. “I'm so sorry for causing you to be so upset Twilight. But I can make you this promise. As long as you choose to stay here with me, I won't eat any meat. Starting right now, I am going to collect and dispose of all meat and meat containing products that I have. “I do this for your sake, so as to spare you any further offense.” “But you said that eating meat was essential to your diet. You need that meat.” “Yes, I did say that. However, humans are omnivores, so while we may desire meat, we don't need it on a daily basis. I could go for several weeks, maybe a month or two before I developed any adverse symptoms. Also, over the last few generations, many humans have investigated living on a vegetarian diet. They have discovered ways of meeting our nutritional needs without consuming meat. It is feasible to thrive on a purely vegetarian diet.” “I can't let you do that.” “I'm not saying that I am gonna like it. I’m setting aside a whole lifetime's worth of dietary acculturation. But I'm doing it anyway, for the sake of my guest. “Please accept this, in the spirit in which it is given. You said you could not stand the thought of being near the remains of those animals. I want to remove that pain from you.” Mike stood up, “Well, I'd best get started.” ---------------- Twilight stood off to the side, watching wide-eyed as Mike went about disposing of all the meat he had in the house. From somewhere he had located a large bag, seemingly made from opaque dark green- cellophane? From there he had opened up what she could only assume was his refrigerator and began to remove numerous items. She listened in growing horror as Mike removed items from the fridge, throwing them into the green bag. He enumerated the items as he went along. “Bacon... Salami... Chicken loaf... Kolbassa... Mystery Meat...” Twilight felt her eye twitch at the mention of that last item. “Pepperoni, Liverwurst... Cooked Ham... Pot Roast... Hot Dogs... Oktoberfest Sausages... Eggs-” “Not the eggs! I mean, eggs are okay. We ponies can eat eggs.” Mike looked back at her, his eyebrows raised, “Really?” “Yes, as long as the eggs are not fertilized. Are those eggs fertilized?” “I doubt it. Modern egg farms don't allow the hen to meet up with a rooster.” “Yes, well, carry on.” Twilight felt her cheeks heating up briefly. She hoped it didn’t show. Mike turned back to the refrigerator. “Right, keep the eggs. Now, where was I? Ah yes, Meatballs... Cabbage rolls... Ewww, should have thrown that out months ago... and last but not least, the spaghetti sauce.” Mike removed two containers from the fridge. Prying off their lids, he poured a thick goopy red substance into the bag. “Was that... blood?” Twilight asked in a faint voice. “Nope!” Mike answered cheerily. “The sauce is tomato based, hence the red color. But I did add some meat to it when I was making it. So, out it goes.” “That's a relief. I mean that it's not blood.” Mike closed the upper door to the refrigerator and pulled on the lower handle. The whole door pulled outward, revealing a large drawer. Mists rolled out from it, leading Twilight to believe it was a freezer. “Hmm,” Mike mused, “I'd better get another garbage bag.” Soon Mike was purging the freezer as well. “Hamburger... Chicken burgers... Chicken Kiev... Ribs... Pizza-” Twilight held her peace. If Mike was removing it, then the Pizza somehow had meat in it. “Fish fillets-” “You can keep the fish. Some ponies eat fish, I won't mind so much if you do.” Mike nodded at her. “-and the Turkey.” Mike removed a larger box and closed the freezer drawer. “You, are, meat crazy! I counted 21 distinct items, 22 if that 'Eww' was a distinct item.” “Still not done yet.” “What!” Mike opened up a second cabinet that was located under the kitchen counter. Reaching inside, he began to pull out cans. “Two cans of Pork and Beans... two cans of Chicken Soup... one can of Beef Barley soup and one can of Clam Chowder. Do shellfish count as fish?” “I'm not sure. I've never before heard of anypony eating clams.” “Out it goes then, just to be sure.” Mike now had two bulging sacks loaded with – meat. Donning his odd looking coat, he took the bags outside. I can't believe how much meat he had. How can there be so many different items? Meat is simply meat, isn't it? Though I suppose different animals might have different tastes. Eww, I can't believe I just thought that. Feeling her gorge rising again, Twilight hastily dropped that line of thought. Looking about the kitchen, she shuddered at the thought of all the horrors that had been lurking beneath its surface. Even now it still felt− tainted. Her eye soon caught sight of the cup she had been drinking tea from. She groaned. The tea was cold, and what little tea she had managed to drink, was now a smelly mess on the floor. She wanted to clean it up but had no idea where Mike kept his cleaning supplies. Searching around, Twilight soon encountered a garbage pail under the kitchen sink. She found out the hard way what it was when she opened its lid. “Umph!” Twilight gagged at the smell. I'm pretty sure there's decaying meat in there. Something else about the garbage nagged at her. Feeling that it was important, she kept winkling away at the feeling even as she continued walking about the kitchen. The meat? No. The cellophane bag? No. Those filthy wads of wet paper? That's it! I've seen that paper somewhere before, but where? Now looking about with a purpose, she soon spied a whole roll of the oddly textured paper standing upright on the counter, close to the toaster. Using her magic, she levitated the roll over to herself and inspected it closely. This paper looks fairly absorbent, and from what I saw in the garbage pail, it's intended to be disposable. Quickly she tore off several sheets and proceeded to clean the spot where she had sicked up earlier. She put the soiled sheets into the garbage pail. Returning to her former spot in front of her tea cup, she looked at it forlornly. I've treated Mike badly, haven’t I? She sighed. He was doing his best to provide me with a meal, and I assaulted him, both physically and verbally. And when I got sick he– helped me. He was angry and frightened. I know he was. He was so frightened that he was expecting me to kill him at any moment. And yet, he helped me… Twilight continued thinking those and similar thoughts, awaiting Mike's return. As the minutes passed, she became anxious, wondering what could be keeping Mike. After about fifteen minutes, the kitchen door opened again, revealing Mike, minus the meat bags. “Whew! It's getting really cold out there!” he exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. After a moment he removed his coat and approached her. Twilight hung her head, unable to look at him. “Twilight? What's wrong, are you sick again?” “No.” she whispered. Suddenly she raised her head, looking him in the eye. “Why Mike? Why did you help me? I assaulted you and accused you of horrible things. You were deathly afraid of me, I remember what you said; how you thought I wanted to kill you. So, why?” Mike stood there, a variety of expressions flitting across his face. Taking a seat across from her at the table, he replied to her question. “Truthfully Twilight, I really don't know. I... just did. “Maybe I had some lingering emotional attachment to you from last night. Maybe I just responded to your obvious distress. Maybe, I was moved by the Holy Spirit. I don't know where it came from, I simply found myself moving to help you. Whatever it was, in an instant, I knew that it was the right thing to do.” As he finished his explanation, Mike hung his head, much as Twilight had done earlier. “You don't know? I don't understand you, Mike. What am I to make of all that happened?” “That's easy,” he replied with a grin, raising his head again. “It means that I forgive you.” “You forgive me?” she asked with dawning hope in her voice. “Does that mean I'm still your friend?” “Yes.” “Eeee!” Twilight squealed with joy, her heart soaring. Pop! Twilight's horn flashed brightly as she teleported right up to Mike, throwing her forelegs around him in a hug. “Ahhh!-” Mike screamed. “ThankYouThankYouThank You! And I’m so sorry for what I did to you.” “What was that?” he asked, nearly shouting the question. Twilight released Mike. “It's called a hug. Don't you know-?” “No not that, there was a bright flash, and suddenly you were all over me.” “Heh!” She was rubbing the back of her head with her hoof. “Guess I surprised you with that one. I used my magic to teleport myself.” “I see. Clearly, that was 'One of those things' Twilight. 'One of those things.' ” “Sorry! Sometimes I just can't help myself.” “Just how many of those magic surprises do you have waiting to spring upon me?” Mikes voice was sounding peevish. “I know twenty-seven distinct forms of magic and hundreds of spells. So far I've practiced and become proficient with nearly all of them. And there are hundreds more that I can perform if I have a reference book at hoof.” “So, the fun never stops…” Mike groaned. “You know, it’s not all fun for me either.” she snapped. “That bay-con thing truly, deeply, upset me. I hope you don't think that I regularly explode like that.” “No, I suppose you don't. So, changing the subject. Are you still hungry?” At the mention of hunger, her stomach rumbled loudly, bringing a blush to her face. Why does it do that the moment I think of food? It never seems to rumble before I realize I'm hungry “Yes, I'm famished. But, this place still upsets me. Just the memory of all that meat, I couldn’t eat anything... By the way, there's still some meat in the garbage pail under the sink there. I could smell it.” “Thanks, Twilight. I'll take care of that shortly.” Mike sat in silence for a moment, thinking about something. “Twilight, do you have a spell for invisibility?” “What? Yes, I do, but it's not very practical. Invisible objects tend to get lost rather quickly.” “No, I mean magic to make yourself invisible.” “Oh, well that's even less practical. If a pony's eyes become invisible, they can't interact with the light streaming through them and they won't see anything, only darkness.” Mike frowned, “Guess I hadn’t thought of that.” Suddenly he brightened as an idea came to him, “How about a spell to keep people from noticing you?” “That's almost as bad as invisibility. From the books I've read, those pony's ran a constant risk of being stepped on, sat on and crashed into. There was even one documented fatality. The pony was crushed by a delivery cart.” “Darn. I was hoping to take you into town, to see if we couldn’t find something to eat. It would be vegetarian of course. But if anyone else sees that you’re not human, there would be no end of trouble.” He wants to take me out for a meal? Twilight was thrilled at the prospect. But he's right. I shouldn’t let myself be seen. If only I were human like I was in the Mirror World. She considered the possibility. No, a transformation spell would take me weeks to prepare... “I have it! I can make a spell, to make everypony think that I'm human.” Suddenly she sighed. “But no, I can't use it.” Mike leaned forward, clearly interested. “Why ever not? That sounds perfect!” “It's an ethical restriction. Such a spell comes under the category of mind-altering spells which are strictly controlled and never to be used without official authorization. A year ago I got into a whole lot of trouble using one of those for what amounted to selfish reasons. Now that I'm a p–” Mustn’t let him know that I'm a princess. I don't want him to act differently around me. She thought sadly to herself. She resumed her explanation, “-now that I'm in my current position of responsibility, it’s even more important that I observe the law.” Mike sat there in silence, clearly mulling over her concerns. What he had to say surprised her. “I might, possibly, have a solution to your ethical concerns. But to evaluate my idea, I think I need to hear more details about the kind of trouble that those 'mind-altering spells' can cause.” I don't want to tell him that story; I'm so ashamed of what happened. Oh, Twilight, that's no excuse, be a big mare and tell him. Her ears flicked back as she realized she was trying to evade one of her most valuable lessons. “I have two stories I can tell. I'll start with my own story first.” She took a deep breath and began. “A few years ago, Princess Celestia had asked me to submit regular Friendship Reports.-” “Friendship Reports?” “Friendship Reports. Magic is closely associated with emotions. Friendship happens to be the foundation of the greatest magic known in Equestria. But that's another story for a different time. Suffice it to say that I used to be a lonely bookworm until I was sent to Ponyville and met five other ponies. Together we all became the most wonderful of friends.” “They sound interesting, when you have the chance, I'd like to hear more about them.” “Thank you, I would like to tell you about them. So, as I was saying, as part of my magic studies Princess Celestia had me submitting these reports on the Magic of Friendship. In the beginning, my friends and I had any number of experiences, learning about each other, and learning life lessons in friendship. And every week, I dutifully wrote up a Friendship Report.” “But eventually, there came a week without any new or notable experiences. That week I blissfully continued through my routines until the day for submitting the report arrived. Suddenly I realized that I had nothing to put into it.” “That doesn’t sound so bad. Reporting 'Nothing to report' is still a valid report.” Twilight heaved a huge sigh. “I know that now. But back then, I was naive. You have to understand, I hold Celestia in the highest regard, I adore her. As her personal protégé, I have never, ever, failed to meet my assignments. I always worked my hardest to give my very best. I was both proud of my record and very insecure in it. Suddenly I was faced with the prospect of being tardy on a report. I went a little crazy. “I began running around, asking all of my friends if they had any problems I could help them with. Nothing. Nopony needed my help for anything. At that point, I went from a little crazy to a lot crazy. I hatched a plan make some ponies start fighting, and then I would step in, and help them become friends again.” She signed again. “I took my Smarty-pants doll-” Mike snickered, “Smarty-pants...” Twilight huffed indignantly, “I loved that doll when I was a filly. You got a problem with that?” “Sorry, It’s just that on Earth, a name like 'smarty-pants' carry’s some cultural baggage.” “Hmpf, whatever. As I was saying, I took my Smarty-pants doll and cast the 'Want it, Need it' spell on it.” Mike shot a questioning look at Twilight. “Very well, the 'Want it, Need it' spell does exactly what the name implies. Anypony who laid eyes on the doll, even for a brief moment, is suddenly seized with a strong compulsion. They want to have the doll. They need to have the doll. “Well, I gave that doll to three young fillies, and they immediately started fighting over who would possess the doll. At that point, I tried to step in and find a friendly solution to their problem.” “Let me guess. They should share the doll?” “Yes, exactly. Only I couldn’t get them to listen to me, their entire focus was on the doll and precluded any rational thought. Soon others saw the doll, and they started fighting over it as well. It was only a matter of a few minutes before practically the whole town was fighting over that doll.” “You mean arguing-” “No, I mean fighting. Kicking, punching, biting, a full-blown brawl was occurring in the streets. It only ended when Princess Celestia herself made a personal appearance and dispersed the spell. I was so ashamed of what I had done, at being caught out by Celestia herself, I could have died.” “Okay, I think I understand some of the issues here. First, the spell took away the volition of those affected. Their very thoughts were bent towards a goal not of their own choosing. This could be characterized as total slavery. Second, the spell resulted in harm to the affected. They suffered physical consequences, and also damages to their interpersonal relationships. And Third–” Twilight's head shot up. There’s a third item? “-the one using such magic runs a serious risk of damaging their own soul. The power to bend others to ones will can be very corrupting. It engenders a further desire for dominance. Where one's own feeling of self-worth can only be fed by exercising ever more and greater mastery over others.” Like Sombra. Is that why he did such evil to the ponies in the Crystal Empire? Twilight shuddered, imagining herself falling to a like fate. “But from what I have seen so far, I don't think you suffered any damage in that third category. Perhaps because you were originally seeking to produce an effect, rather than obtaining dominance.” I am impressed at how insightful he is. He smiled, “You mentioned a second example?” “Yes,” Twilight collected herself, “It concerns those same three fillies I mentioned in the first example.” “Fillies? Children. How do children get involved with mind-altering spells?” “With those three, you can expect anything. But, ahem, I may have had a small part in this one as well.” Twilight had the grace to blush. “It was Heart's and Hooves day-” “Heart's and-” “It’s a traditional event, occurring annually, where those who have a romantic partner, find ways to show consideration for each other.” “I think I know what you mean, we humans have something similar. Please, continue.” “These three fillies conceived a notion that their teacher deserved to find a Special Somepony on this most romantic of days. So they located an eligible bachelor and attempted to encourage romantic ties between the two.” “Oh dear. It sounds like a blind date being set up by children.” “That's exactly what it was. And as you can imagine the two subjects came away from their surprise tryst with a great deal of embarrassment, but no romantic inclinations. After this first failure, the three fillies still sought to devise some new means of bringing the two subjects together. At that point, they literally bumped into me, and I started to regale them about the book that I was currently reading, a book about the origins of Hearts and Hooves day. When I mentioned how a love potion was involved, the fillies immediately saw that as the solution to their problem. “Foolishly, I loaned them the book, thinking they were only interested in the romantic stories. But it was the love potion they wanted. Soon they had re-created the potion and had administered it to the two subjects.” “Let me guess, one or both recipients happened to fixate on someone else.” “No, nothing dramatic like that. And stop guessing. They both successfully fixated on each other. The problem was that the fixation is so strong that everything else is excluded from their lives. Family, responsibilities, work, even eating and taking care of one’s needs. The love potion is more properly termed a love poison, since the victims eventually waste away, having succumbed to an overdose of love. In this case, the remedial action was simple. The two parties had to be kept separated for one full hour, and the spell was broken.” “So it turned out well in the end?” “Yes, it did. The two victims even collaborated in deciding the fillies' punishments. From what I gather, they still occasionally meet each other. Who knows, maybe the incident has created a common point of interest between the two, and they might end up together through the normal course of events.” Mike pondered for a moment and delivered his analysis. “As amusing as it was, I found that story to be even more frightening than the first one. I see the same three issues at play in this story.” “Wait. How do you figure the third issue, moral corruption? Does the potioner acquire some insane desire to play matchmaker?” “Yes, exactly. A Mad Matchmaker, wielding the power to decide whom should love whom, and who should not be allowed to love. Though I admit such a possibility is less likely, don’t dismiss it. Many people have a natural inclination to meddle. “Even though the third issue is unlikely, the second issue, concerning the potential for damage and injury, was much more significant. In this case, there was a high probability of death and broken lives as opposed to the injury and broken relationships of the first story.” “That's such a stark analysis, Mike. I must admit I've never before thought of that incident in such a light. When I get back I'm going to re-classify that book as restricted.” “You're going to re-classify the book?” “I serve as the town's librarian. The books are all my responsibility.” The conversation paused until Twilight broke the silence again. “So Mike, you've heard the stories and have been informed about some of the risks involved. Do you have any solution?” “I think I do. Twilight, during your stay here on earth, I offer myself as proxy for your Approval Authority.” What!? He can't do that. He has no authority whatsoever. “For all spells which carry ethical risks, such as the mind-altering spells we have been discussing, you are required to petition me for approval. Such a petition must attempt to identify the risks to all parties, the subjects, possible bystanders and also the caster. “The Approval Authority is charged to hold as his primary concern, the liberties, and well-being of any subjects actually or even potentially affected by such a spell. If there is the slightest doubt about the safety or consequences resulting from that spell, the Approval Authority is required to decline the submission.” “Mike, that would simply be trying to pass my responsibility on to somepony else.” “Not quite. By taking you in, by harboring you, an alien, in my own home, I have already taken responsibility for your actions. Any harm you bring to this world or its people will become my responsibility. I am fully aware of this, and I am committed to preventing any such harm from ever occurring. You see, I am already assuming responsibility for your actions, and thus I am already an approval authority. “Of course, this position was not officially approved by the Earthly authorities. They are the last ones you want to get involved if you value your life. But morally, and ethically, I am prepared to serve; I am serving, in this post.” “But it’s my responsibility. I can't just give it away.” “No Twilight, it’s not. Your responsibility ends when you submit your will to the decision of the approval authority. You do not and cannot have the authority to approve your own ethical violations. “And as for myself,” Mike placed his right hand on his upper barrel and held his left hand up in the air, “ 'I Mike Konik, do solemnly swear to discharge my responsibilities as an Ethical Approval Authority faithfully and to the best of my abilities, placing the needs and interests of all others above my own, so help me God.' ” I don't know what all the gestures were about, but that seemed to be very solemn promise. It reminds me of a Pinkie Promise. And nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise. “Mike, what significance did that promise hold for you?” “Twilight, I made that promise with God as my witness, asking Him to help me to keep it. And I really, truly, do not want to disappoint Him. My feelings about that are pretty much as you described your anxiety at disappointing Princess Celestia, only more so.” Why are you doing this Mike? That’s a really strong oath, and I know that failure can be devastating. “Alright Mike, I'm going to take a chance and trust you. You can stand in as proxy for my approval authority.” “Thanks for trusting me.” He took a deep breath. “Shall we get started? Please submit your request.”