Pinkie and Sonata’s Excellent Adventure
Chapter 1: Friendless & Clueless at Canterlot High
The sun shone brightly over Canterlot High School as the students happily walked and milled about the campus. Some made small talk with each other as they made their way to their destination; some simply found a spot to hang out at and chat, and others held hands. Everywhere one looked there were happy, excited faces of students about. Students of different dress easily mingled with each other. Teenagers interacted with each other very much as if their little differences didn’t matter and that the simple fact that they were all in the same school was enough to bring them together.
“Disgusting, isn’t it?”
Adagio hated it, but she hated lots of things. She scowled out at the mass of students with a look of disdain.
“It is possibly the worst thing ever.”
A few steps behind Adagio sat Aria. If Adagio’s look was disdainful, than Aria’s was the picture of absolute contempt. It was as if the very atmosphere of the school offended her and she sneered out at everyone about her.
“Even worse than losing our powers?!”
Sonata simply looked out at the events around her in confusion. This being about the closest to paying attention as she got.
“Correction,” Aria said, glaring at Sonata. “Third worst thing.”
“Oh really?!” Sonata said. “What’s the second?”
“Losing our powers,” Aria said as she folded her arms over her chest.
Sonata eyes unfocused as she stared off into the empty space of the schoolyard as she attempted to parse Aria’s response and come up with one of her own. “HEY!” Sonata snapped. “Then what’s the first thing?”
Aria rolled her eyes. “YOU!”
Sonata wrinkled her eyebrows at stared at Aria. “Oh yeah… well… You’re purple!”
“That’s not an insult, moron!” Aria cried.
“GIRLS!” Adagio cried. “Would you two shut up for once in your miserable lives?” She said, forcing the words ‘miserable lives’ through clenched teeth. “We may have lost the battle, but the war is far from over!”
“What are we supposed to do?” Sonata asked. “The whole school hates us! And we hate them!”
“Also, HEY! No powers!” Aria added.
Adagio nodded. “All true, but we know there’s some way to get back to Equestria! We just need to figure out how to get the information out of Sunset Shimmer and her friends and we can start over back home!”
“Too bad they hate us most of all,” Sonata said. “Especially Sunset Shimmer…”
Aria glared at Adagio. “Gee! I wonder whose fault that was!”
Adagio returned the glare. “Oh please! Like it’s my fault you two are such morons you can’t carry out a simple plan!”
Aria’s already narrowed eyes narrowed further and she clenched a fist tightly.
Adagio mirrored Aria’s look and pulled back her own fist.
“Girls!” Sonata said putting herself in between Aria and Adagio. “Fighting isn’t going to help us sort out what’s most important here!”
Aria and Adagio paused, looked at each other, and then looked at Sonata. They lowered their fists and sighed.
“You’re right, Sonata,” Adagio said.
“For once,” Aria growled out.
Sonata nodded with a satisfied expression. “Now let’s concentrate on priority number one!”
“Yeah, yeah…” the other girls said dismissively.
“Getting breakfast!” Sonata added.
Adagio and Aria’s angry expressions were back in a flash. They looked at each other and nodded.
With a soft ‘Thump’, Sonata hit the ground.
“Owwie…” Sonata uttered as she placed an arm over her stomach and rubbed her cheek.
Adagio and Aria walked off as they continued to argue and shout at each other.
“Oh you poor, poor thing you!”
Sonata looked up into the big sky-blue eyes of a female student. Her massive mop of pink hair sat in curls like a giant mass of cotton candy that framed her face.
“I saw the whole thing!” Pinkie exclaimed as she set down the backpack she was holding and held out her hand. “You were just reminding them about the importance of the first meal of the day then bam, zoom! Straight to the moon… or ground in this case.”
Sonata rolled over so she was sitting and supported herself with one hand as she left the other draped over her stomach. She stared at Pinkie’s outstretched hand briefly then looked up at her. “But… we’re enemies!”
Pinkie grinned wide and shook her head. “Don’t worry about that! Enemies are just friends who are trying to kill you!”
Sonata’s eyes went wide. “That makes perfect sense!” she said as she reached for Pinkie’s hand.
Pinkie helped Sonata up to her feet.
“Are those meanies bullying you?” Pinkie asked.
Sonata nodded and gave Pinkie a sad look. “They always pick on me!”
Pinkie gasped. “No!”
“Yes!” Sonata bemoaned. “All because I’m not as smart as them!”
“Well that’s no reason to be a big meanie meanie-pants!”
“I know!” Sonata said. “So what if I have trouble reading, or paying attention, or even tying my shoes…”
Pinkie looked down at Sonata’s feet. “Uh… You don’t have laces… You’re wearing boots.”
Sonata nodded. “Adagio and Aria said I’m not allowed anything with laces after that one time I almost strangled myself to death!”
“Oh you poor you!” Pinkie cried as she suddenly threw her arms around Sonata and hugged her tightly.
“EEK!” Sonata cried. “What’s going on?! Are you trying to suffocate me so I won’t struggle when you unhinge your jaw and eat me?!”
Pinkie giggled. “No, silly! It’s called a ‘hug’! It’s what you do when you like someone!”
“Oh!” Sonata exclaimed. A slight bit of pink began to appear on her cheeks. “Can I… Can I try hugging you?”
Pinkie loosened her grip and took a step back. “Of course, silly-Billy!” she said with a smile.
“Okay!” Sonata said cheerfully. “Uh… What do I do first?”
“First you put your arms out!”
Sonata thrust her arms straight forward.
“OWIE!” Pinkie cried as a pair of hands unexpectedly flew into her face.
“Oh no!” Sonata said with a distressed look on her face. “I did it wrong!”
“Iwt’s owkay!” Pinkie said as she rubbed her nose. She took a couple steps back. “Try again!”
Sonata raised her arms straight in front of her again.
Pinkie pursed her lips. “Well… that looks more like a zombie attack than a hug. Try spreading your arms out more.”
Sonata looked at her arms, then slowly inched them away from each other.
Pinkie nodded. “Good… a little more…”
Sonata spread her arms out further.
“A little more.”
She spread them out even further.
She continued to slowly move her arms apart.
“TOO FAR!” Pinkie cried.
“AH!” Sonata cried in alarm. She quickly brought her arms a few inches closer together.
“Perfect!” Pinkie said. “Now step up to me.”
Sonata took a few steps forward, right smack into Pinkie.
“Oof!” Pinkie exclaimed.
Sonata frowned as her face was press right up against Pinkie’s. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh, it’s okay!” Pinkie assured. “Now just wrap your arms around me and… Good!”
“I’m doing it!” Sonata cried. “I’m hugging someone.”
“You… cough… cough…” Pinkie’s face had begun to turn read as Sonata hugged her with all her might. “You sure are…”
“Wheee!” Sonata exclaimed. She let go of Pinkie and took a few steps back. “I hugged someone! I hugged someone!” she declared happily while jumping up and down.
Pinkie took a few deep breaths. “Yaaay…” she said weakly.
“That was really fun!” Sonata said as she giddily hopped from foot to foot. “What else do people who like each other—” Sonata was cut off as the growling of her stomach interrupted her. She looked down at her belly and frowned.
Pinkie smiled. “People who like each other share breakfast with each other!”
Sonata gasped. “Really?! I wish I knew that sooner! I’d have made start liking the vending machine.”
Pinkie giggled. “The vending machine isn’t a person, silly!”
Sonata’s eye widened. “So that’s why it never gave me food even when I threatened to beat it to death with a baseball bat!”
Pinkie giggled. “Hehehehe… You’re super-de-duper funny!”
“I am?” Sonata replied as her eyes widened.
Pinkie bent down and unzipped her backpack, she then retrieved a cupcake holder.
“What’s that?” Sonata asked as Pinkie opened up the cupcake holder.
Pinkie took the top off the cupcake holder and revealed appeared to be a cupcake topped with burnt yellow-colored frosting. “It’s my special breakfast cupcake!”
“Yay!” Sonata cried. “… What makes it special?”
Pinkie grinned. “Baked inside is a piece of bacon and some sausage! All covered in delicious maple syrup-egg yolk frosting!”
Sonata’s jaw unhinged. “That sounds like the best cupcake in the history of cupcakes...” she uttered.
“You think?” Pinkie said as she looked at the cupcake. “All my friends said it tasted weird, but you can have it if you want,” Pinkie said, holding out the cupcakes.
Sonata’s eyes went wide as she stared at the confection. “For… for realsies?”
Pinkie nodded. “For realsies~!”
Sonata reached out and grabbed the cupcake. She brought it up to her face and took a tentative bite.
“How… how is it?” Pinkie asked in an unsure tone.
Tears began to stream from Sonata’s face.
Pinkie’s features plummeted. “Is it… bad?”
Suddenly Sonata brought the cupcake back up to her face and devoured it in a mess of cake, frosting, and meat product.
Pinkie’s face lit up.
Sonata stared far, far into the distance as she smiled. “It was the best cupcake in the history of cupcakes!”
“YAY!” Pinkie exclaimed before she threw her arms around Sonata and hugged her tightly.
Sonata returned the hug.
“Sonata… choke… cough…?” Pinkie uttered as her face went red again. “Can you… can you loosen your grip?”
“Sure!” Sonata said loosening her grip. “Anything for you… Uh… girl…”
“Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie said cheerfully.
Sonata gasped. “That rhymes with slinky fry!”
Pinkie gasped. “Oh my gosh, you’re right! I never knew that before!”
Aria took a break from her shouting match with Adagio long enough to watch Pinkie Pie and Sonata walk off as the pair giddily conversed with each other.
“Hey! She just stole our idiot!” Aria cried.
“So? Let her!” Adagio said. “Sonata’s the most moronic person from both world and Equestria I’ve ever met! I swear I get dumber just hanging around her.”
“Uhg! I know.” Aria replied. “But you know Sonata… If she’s not under constant supervision she’s liable to hurt herself… Or maybe worse…”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “Oh no!” she cried sarcastically. She clenched a fist in her other hand and brought it up next to her chin. “Whatever would we do if anything happened to our powerless, brain dead, hanger-on?”
Aria turned and narrowed her eyes at Adagio.
“What?!” Adagio exclaimed. “Just go up to her and start making out with the little taco-obsessed freak if you care that much!”
Aria folded her arms in front of her chest. “She’s also the only one of us whose clothes have pockets… and still has all the money.”
Adagio’s eyes opened wide as realization set in. She began to frantically scan the school yard.
“And now you care!” Aria said.
“Quiet! Just… just… shut up and help me find them!”
“And now we lost them!” Aria said. “Great! Nice leadership skills, Dagi! What’ll be the results of your next brilliant plan, I wonder? Maybe we’ll all end up in a nice, filthy ditch somewhere!”
“HEY!” Adagio snapped. “I never would have lost sight of her if you weren’t too busy blabbering on like the dim-witted moron you are!”
“What?!” Aria said. “I was the one who wanted to go after her! You where the one being a major douchebag about the whole thing!”
Adagio glared at Aria and raised her hand to flick Aria’s nose with her fingers.
Aria recoiled slightly from the small act of aggression then let out a growl as she pulled her hand back. She balled her hand into a fist and sent it flying towards Adagio’s face.
For a moment the two girls did nothing. They simply stared at each other as they took in this unfamiliar situation.
“You… you slugged me!” Adagio said as she raised a hand to her throbbing cheek.
Aria grinned wide. “I know! Sonata usually stops me… And let me tell you… It felt great!”
“How dare you!” Adagio roared. “I made this team! You’d be nothing without me!”
“Oh no!” Aria cried. “I might have ended up banished to a horrible world without my powers if it wasn’t for your brilliant guidance!”
Adagio furrowed her brow and sneered. “Aria… I’m warning you…” she growled out from between clenched teeth.
“Warning me of what, Dagi?! What are you going to do?! What are you going to do?! Wreck my life more than you already have?! ‘Cause from where I’m standing, you’ve already done as much damage to me and yourself as you could possibly—”
“GRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Adagio let out a roar as she dove on top of Aria. She quickly brought Aria to the ground before placing a few punches into Aria’s face.
“UHG!” Aria cried from the ground.
Adagio grinned wickedly as she looked down at Aria. “Hmmph… I knew you were all taaaaAAAAAAAAH!”
Aria suddenly leaned up and wrapped her fingers around some of Adagio’s hair, a rather simple task given how much of the stuff there was. She pulled Adagio down to the ground next to her and delivered a few hits with her free hand.
Within seconds, a number of CHS students had gathered to watch the girls fight it out as they wrestled with each other on the ground, punched, kicked, and even bit each other. Trixie, Snips, and Snails found themselves in front of the group.
“Oh boy, cat fight!” Snips exclaimed.
“Yeah…uh…” Snails uttered. “Cat fight!”
“Yes! Go Aria!” Trixie cheered. “Rip Adagio’s shirt right off her sexy body!”
Snips and Snails turned and stared at Trixie.
Trixie noticed the looks she was being given.
“DON’T JUDGE TRIXIE!”
Snips suddenly smiled wide. “Trixie, that’s an awesome idea!”
“Yeah!” Snails agreed. “Awesome!”
Trixie smiled and motioned to herself. “The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trrrrrrixie always has the best ideas!”
Applejack sat down at a table and inhaled a big waft of the food in front of her through her nose. “Aaaaah! Another day, another heaping plate of CHS’s delicious, unidentifiable brown stuff!” She said as she dug a spoon into a pile of a lumpy brown substance that covered the central portion of her tray.
Sunset swallowed the bit of food in her mouth and rested her fork next to the partially eaten meatloaf on her tray. She shook her head. “A.J. your grandma works in the cafeteria. Just ask her what it is.”
“And ruin the mystery?” Applejack spooned a bit of her lunch into her mouth and swallowed before pointing her spoon at Sunset. “‘Sides, you eat the meatloaf! Do you know what meat it’s even made with?”
Sunset shrugged. “Don’t know, don’t care!” Sunset dug her fork into her meal, took another bite, chewed, than swallowed. “Just as long as one or more animals died to make my meal, I’m happy.”
Fluttershy whimpered from her seat.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity both cocked their eyebrows.
“Ain’t that kinda weird?” Rainbow Dash. “You know… You used to be a pony and all.”
Rarity nodded. “Even weirder than you used to being a pony already is, darling.”
“I came out of the portal from Equestria wearing a leather jacket!” Sunset exclaimed. She ate another bit of meatloaf. “Stuff was all effed up as soon as I stepped foot in this world!” She took yet another bite. “All I know now is meat is delicious and having it for every meal is awesome!”
“I hear that!” Applejack said. “Assuming there’s meat somewhere in this heap of delicious miscellaneous dish!” Applejack spooned another bit of her brown, congealed mass into her mouth, swallowed it, and turned to Sunset. “So, how’s the writin’ to Princess Twilight in that magic book going, sugarcube?”
Fluttershy perked up with an interested expression. “It must be so exciting to have a pen-pal in another dimension.”
Sunset shrugged as she stabbed her fork into her meatloaf again. “Eh… I’ve been drawing butts in it mostly…”
Applejack and Fluttershy each gave Sunset a blank stare.
Rainbow Dash snickered.
Rarity leaned forward blinked a few times. “Come… come again?”
Sunset pulled up her fork with a large chunk of ketchup-covered meat on it. “You know… behinds, posteriors, backsides, asses…” Sunset brought her fork up to her mouth, chewed on her food for a bit, then swallowed. She chuckled. “Sometimes I put little crowns on them and stink lines with an arrow pointing to them that reads ‘Princess Tushlight Stinkle’ or ‘Princess of Fartship’ or something like that…”
-o~Meanwhile, in back in Equestria~o-
Princess Tushliht Stinkle Twilight Sparkle focused a glare out her crystal castle window and ruffled her feathers as the sounds of uproarious laughter poured out from another corner of the room.
Red faced and glaring, Twilight turned to the source of the laughter. “Come on guys! It’s not that funny!”
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash and rolled around on the ground as they waved their hooves up in the air. Tears streamed from their eyes as laughter poured out of them. Spike was in a similar state as he laid on his back and held a large book with Sunset Shimmer’s cutie mark on it above him. He kicked his feet out as he joined in the laughter.
“… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… Prince-ass Twilight!” Spike said.
Pinkie attempted to stop laughing long enough to reply, “…HAHAHAHAHAHA… Just when you think it’s …AHAHAHAHAHA… it’s over, BAM! She comes up with another one!”
“Ohmygosh!” Rainbow Dash cried. “Those little crowns… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Priceless!”
Rarity and Applejack raised their eyebrows at Sunset, while Rainbow Dash burst into laughter and Fluttershy did her best to hide a titter.
“Don’cha think that’s kinda a misuse of the book?” Applejack asked.
Rarity nodded. “Certainly an uncouth use for it!”
Sunset shrugged as she stuck her fork back into her spaghetti. “Oh, relax! It a way better use than asking her for friendship advice!” Sunset quickly took another forkful of meat into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed it. “Besides! She came here and was bad at being a friend!” Sunset asserted while pointing her fork. “I was the one who had to save everyone with my friendship skills! If anything, she should be writing me for advice on being a friend! Princess of Friendship my ass…”
“You guys! Ohymgosh! You guys! Ohymgosh! Ohymgosh! You guys! You guys! Youguysouguysouguysouguys!”
The group turned to see Pinkie smiling wide at them and bouncing from foot to foot, while something under a white sheet stood next to her. A pair of pigeon-toed pink-and-white boots poked out from the bottom of the cover.
“Great, she’s overstimulated,” Sunset said. “Rainbow Dash, would you get her a juice box or something?”
Rainbow Dash saluted. “On it!”
“No wait!” Pinkie cried. “I want you to meet my new friend!”
Sunset sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with a thumb and forefinger. “Pinkie, for the last time, you can’t just put a sheet over someone and say you’ve befriended a ghost!”
“No! It’s who’s under the sheet, silly!” Pinkie said cheerily.
Rarity shot Pinkie a quizzical expression. “Pinkie dear, I don’t see what the need is for such an elaborate set up, you know and are friends with everyone at schoowhowhowhooo?!”
The group stared in shock as Pinkie removed the cover, revealing Sonata.
Sonata grinned at everyone at the table and waved. “Hello!”
“What in tarnation?!” Applejack cried.
Fluttershy made a distressed sounding “Meep!” and ducked under the table.
“Nope!” Rainbow Dash announced as she pushed her chair away from the table, stood up, and sprinted away.
“Pinkie!” Sunset cried as she motioned to Sonata. “You can’t make friends with her!”
“Why not?” Pinkie asked as she puffed out her lower lip.
“She’s evil!” Sunset cried.
“She’s not evil!” Pinkie cried. “She’s just misunderstood!”
Sunset narrowed her eyes. “She’s eating yogurt off Fluttershy’s plate right now, while celebrating the death of bacteria cultures!”
Sonata shoved a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth as Fluttershy covered her head with her hands and shook under the table. “OM NOM NOM!” She cried before she swallowed the yogurt. “Die microorganisms, die!”
Pinkie looked at Sonata and back to Sunset with the look a child might have if they had found a stray animal that followed them home one day. “But she needs a friend! She was just so sad and pathetic looking this morning! I couldn’t just leave her!”
“Look!” Sunset cried. “We can’t just adopt evil villainesses because they look sad and pathetic!”
The group collectively turned and stared at Sunset.
“Hey!” Sunset protested as her eyes darted back and forth from the looks directed at her. “At least I wanted to make up for my mistakes!” She said motioning to herself. She motioned out with her hands. “Has she shown any sign that she’s the least bit remorseful for what she’s done?” Sunset glanced up and noticed she had just motioned to empty space. “Wait, where’d she go?”
Pinkie turned and pointed towards another table. “Oh! There she is! She’s making more friends.”
A student with a gray beanie that covered an unruly mop of reddish-brown hair stared up at Sonata in confusion that was slowly turning into dread. Sonata hovered over him and eyed the hoagie sandwich he was holding hungrily. From the same table, a female student with long purple hair, a female student with long red hair tied in a ponytail, and a male student with short, tousled green hair and a wide brimmed, brown hat glared at Sonata.
“Oh that looks sooo good!” Sonata said as she looked over the sandwich.
“Uhhh…. Thanks?” The student with the beanie replied. He stared up at Sonata with a worried expression.
“Can I have some?” Sonata asked with a smile. “Otherwise someone might encounter an unfortunate accident!”
Sonata continued, “And by someone, I mean you! And by ‘unfortunate accident’ I mean I’ll find out where you live and murder your entire family and you!” Sonata’s cheerful grin widened. “For realsies!” she added.
“Ah!” the student cried. “Here! Take it!” he said as he held up the sandwich.
“Yay!” Sonata cried as she took the sandwich. She shoved the sandwich into her mouth as far as it would go, then she simply stood there.
The table of nearby students’ angry faces changed to confused ones as Sonata hovered over them with a sandwich in her mouth and stared off into space.
Pinkie, Sunset and everyone else at their table likewise simply stared in confusion, Fluttershy peeking her head up from under the table.
Tears began to stream from Sonata’s eyes and her already blue face began to turn a few shades bluer.
“Sonata, no!” Pinkie cried. She rushed up to Sonata and pulled the sandwich out of her mouth.
Sonata took in a large breath of air as the soggy mass of bread, vegetables, stopped blocking her airway.
“Silly Sonata,” Pinkie said. “You need to chew your food before you try to swallow it.”
“Oh right!” Sonata said. “I always forget that part!”
“That’s okay!” Pinkie said as she handed Sonata back her rather moist sandwich. “It could have happened to anyone!”
Pinkie and Sonata exchanged glances and giggled.
“Want some?” Sonata asked as she held up the mangled sandwich.
“DO I?!” Pinkie replied excitedly.
Sunset and Applejack’s jaws dropped as Rarity and Fluttershy began to look nauseous. Fluttershy placed a hand over her mouth as her cheeks puffed out and sprinted away from the table heading for the door. She was quickly followed by the student in the gray beanie.
Sunset averted her gaze. “Well… this is going to be disturbing… and messy…”
Applejack shrugged. “Being friends with Pinkie usually is.”
“Quite…” Rarity agreed as she averted her eyes from the nauseating scene going on a few feet away from her.
Suddenly Vice-Principal Luna’s voice called out from over the P.A. system. “Would Sunset Shimmer please report to the Principal’s office?”
“Oh thank God!” Sunset said as she stood up from her chair.
Rarity turned towards Sunset. “Whatever do you think they want you for?”
Sunset shook her head. “No idea, but it can’t possibly be worse than what’s going on here.”