Chapter 11: Pipsqueak
Monday Morning
Yesterday was fun. Fun day with friends. The “perfect end” to yesterday turned into an “awkward end” with Pinkie saying what she tried to say with the wrong set of words.
We went our separate ways just as the sun was setting.
And now it’s Monday morning! Thank Celestia I was able to sleep well despite Pinkie's shenanigans.
*Yawn* Getting up from bed to get some breakfast...wait, I better bring the program-brochure thing...and here it is on my desk...and yesterday's newspaper as well. Hehehe! Revenge of the blank flanks.
Right. Into my saddlebag you go.
Breakfast is quick, as well as brushing my teeth and taking a bath before going to school. I did this hundreds of times, so I'm used to it.
“Mum! I'm off to school!”
“Pipsqueak! Don't forget to give me a kiss and a hug, dear!”
Oh, right. Mothers.
****
Trotting off to school, I meet Dinky on the corner of the next street.
“Hey Dinky!” I greet her.
“Hi Pip! Sorry I wasn't able to make it yesterday. I was sooo tired. Pinkie Pie made me drink a honey berry shot, and I drank two more, and it really really woke me up. But the crash that followed...woo, what a doozy!”
“Oh, that's right! You were there too! So...wait, you drank how many honey berry shots?” I ask.
“Three in total.”
“Three?” Gosh. That's a lot for a little unicorn filly to have.
“Yeah, I know,” she says while looking up to the sky as if she is recalling something that happened. “Three is a lot! How many did you have?”
“I only had one. Princess Luna said so. Plus, she told Pinkie to stop taking any more honey berry shots.”
“Why? How many did Pinkie Pie have?” Dinky asks.
“Five.”
“FIVE?!?!”
Dinky and I talk all the way to school. ^_^
****
The class seems noisier every morning nowadays. My classmates and I chat as we wait for Ms. Cheerilee.
“Okay class, settle down!” Ms. Cheerilee says. That is usually what she says first thing in the morning.
“Today, we will have those who went to the Saturday Canterlot event tell us their experiences. What was it like? How many gryphons did you see? Did you talk to any of them?”
“I did!” Dinky pipes in. We all look back at her, and she's grinning and nodding as if to say, “Yup! I did!”
Ms. Cheerilee quickly reacts. “That is interesting, Dinky!”
“Hmph!” reacts Silver Spoon with her classic Silver Spoon snootiness.
“Is there something you'd like to say, Silver Spoon?” Ms. Cheerilee asks.
Silver looks at Diamond Tiara, who says, “I'll let you have this one.”
Silver Spoon nods snootily, and then says,“Talking to a gryphon delegate is like, friendly and all...”
“Yeah, friendly,” comments Diamond Tiara in a disinterested way while looking at her polished hoof.
“...but somepony here did something more...outrageous!” Silver says with her trademark evil grin.
“Total. Scandal.” Diamond Tiara says with both eyes wide open as if surprised.
Oh gosh, here we go...
“Isn't that right, Piiipsqueeeak?” Silver says with a laughing squeal-and-grin combo.
“You mean Pipsqueak being Luna's escort?” Apple Bloom cut in quickly, ruining the whole thing for Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara.
Nice counter-attack AB!
“*GASP!* What? How did you know? You weren't there!” Diamond Tiara says, this time with genuine surprise.
“Yeah, but our sisters and their friends were,” Sweetie Belle says with just a pinch of sarcasm.
Ms. Cheerilee cuts in, “I'm afraid you've been beaten to the punch, girls, by Pipsqueak himself and Pinkie Pie. She 'spilled the beans' yesterday at Sugarcube Corner.”
She spilled more than just beans if you ask me.
For a moment, Dai and Sil are both speechless. Their faces go from surprise to disappointment. “...Oh, fine!”
Defeated! Yes!
“Anywhoo,” Ms. Cheerilee continues, “every foal here who got to see the show in Canterlot will have a chance to tell us how it was! So all you have to do today is listen, unless of course you went to the show. Now, who will start first?” Ms. Cheerilee says enthusiastically.
Every foal who went to the show raises their hooves. “Oh oh! Me, Ms. Cheerilee! Me!” I say as I wave my hoof as high as I can.
“No, I want to be first!” says Silver Spoon.
“No, ME! Ms. Cheerilee, pick me!” says Diamond Tiara.
And it is like that for a while. Then, I bring out my secret weapons!
“Ms. Cheerilee! I have the show's...brochure...or...program (whatever this thing is called)! I also have yesterday's newspaper featuring the show!”
That gets Ms. Cheerilee's attention. “Oh, wow, Pip. You actually have…” She pauses to give my stuff from the show a closer look. “Is that the show's playbill?”
“Uhhhh...” I dunno, is it? I hold it closer Ms. Cheerilee to see.
“Why, yes, yes it is! Class! I think it's just befitting that Pipsqueak gets to go first for his trouble and insight,...” Ms. Cheerilee says, smiling at me, “...bringing in actual documents about the show! Very nice, Pip! Well done!”
A “playbill.” So that’s what it’s called.
The rest who wanted to go first groan. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon protest.
“But Ms. Cheerilee, we brought newspapers about the show, too!”
“Well, what else?” asks Ms. Cheerilee. “Pip actually brought in...” I show it to her again, the “playbill.” It looked like a mini magazine-slash-pamphlet, actually.
“...that,” Ms. Cheerilee says.
Silver and Diamond give out a collective “Hmph!”
“That is called a playbill, class. It is also called a programme, or program,” she says as she writes on the blackboard the two similar words with different spelling. “It is a document, like a booklet, a brochure, or a printed leaflet available for patrons attending a live event such as theatre performances, fêtes, sports events, etc. It outlines the parts of the event scheduled to take place, principal performers and background information. In the case of theatrical performances, the term playbill is also used. It may be provided free of charge by the event organisers, or a charge may be levied,” Ms. Cheerilee says, in full teacher mode.
“In short, it is a document that may or may not be free, that tells the audience a lot about what they are about to watch,” Ms. Cheerilee concludes.
Yeah, you heard The Teach. So then, any more complaints? That's right! I brought stuff from the show, including the “playbill.” I have it. Do you? Or how about you? So, I get to go first. Too bad, chaps! Right, then.
“The floor is yours, Pipsqueak,” Ms. Cheerilee says as she stands aside.
I go in front of the class. “Wish you guys could all have been there! It was tiring in the end. But fun! Tiring, but fun! Just look at how tiring it was!”
I take out yesterday's Equestria Daily. It is full of photos. I point to one particular photo. “See? See?”
I show every foal and Ms. Cheerilee. “Why, that looks like Mr. Rich...and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are sleeping on his back!”
Classmates start to laugh. “Why, Dai, Sil, you two look like you're snoring!” says Apple Bloom.
“Loudly! Look how wide open your mouths are!” says Scootaloo. More laughter.
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon remain still, calm, composed...unmoved. Uh-oh...
I should have known not to invoke the anger of the two “Snooty Sisters”. It was a baaad idea. They remain calm, but firm.
“Touché, Pipsqueak. Well played,” says Diamond Tiara.
“But two can play that game,” says Silver Spoon.
Together, they take out their newspapers, and point out a particular photo. Classmates gather around Dai and Sil, looking at the photo. I wonder what it is. Dai and Sil hold their newspapers high. I squint to get a closer look and see...It’s a photo showing how I was sleeping, on my Mum's back. My mouth was also wide open as I slept!
And they laaaugh! I put a hoof to my face. Classic case of backfire.
“*Sigh* Nice try, Pip, nice try,” says Button, patting my back.
“Honestly, Pipsqueak, what happened to you?” asks Silver Spoon with an over-exaggerated sense of concern.
“You used to be sooo sweet and innocent,” says Dai.
Silver Spoon continues, “Then you started hanging out with these Cutie Mark Crusaders...”
“Such bad influences!” comments Diamond Tiara.
“...and now you are out to get us? Like, that's so...mean,” says Silver Spoon, pouting in a smart-alecky way.
Arg! I must have been off my trolley! These two are veterans. What possessed me that I thought I could best them?
“Okay, class, that's enough. Pip, not very nice to try and embarrass your classmates,” Ms. Cheerilee says in a reprimanding tone.
“Yes Pip, very very not nice!” says Silver.
Ms. Cheerilee looks at Silver and Dai and says, “Like I said, it is not nice to embarrass your classmate. Am I clear?”
Though she is looking at Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, every foal in class knows that Ms. Cheerilee is referring to everypony. She’s got that “thing” in her voice that says so.
“Now,” Ms. Cheerilee says, looking at everypony and then at me, “I'm afraid, Pip dear, that after the stunt you tried to pull, you have lost your chance to be first.”
Ouch.
“Does that mean we get to be first, Ms. Cheerilee?” pipe in Silver and Dai excitedly.
“Ehehehe, no,” says Ms. Cheerilee, “You two did the same thing Pip did. No, I'm afraid only Dinky is qualified to be first.”
We all look back at Dinky, sitting on her chair behind her desk, smiling back at us. She practically have a halo over her head.
“Yep, she remained a good filly while the rest of you laughed at the expense of your classmates. Tsk tsk, class!” Ms. Cheerilee says.
Yes, I concur. After all that, Dinky does deserve to be first.