All's Fair in Love and Piracy

by bahatumay


Chapter 2

Applejack was led to what the rainbow mare had jokingly called 'our best accommodations' by a gray earth pony mare with a black mane. Like most pirates, she wore loose sailors' clothing that covered her cutie mark, but Applejack could tell that this mare wasn't a seafarer from birth. She carried herself like the high class ponies that sometimes visited Port Ponyville. Her head was raised, her nose held high, and her very demeanor felt out of place.

“You don't hide your emotions well,” she said suddenly.

Even her voice was out of place. She had a slight accent, one that spoke of higher breeding, and definitely not one Applejack was used to hearing at sea. “Beg yer pardon?” Applejack asked.

“You see me as easy pickings, and intend to attempt an escape en route to your cell. Please do; I haven't had a good fight in a long time.”

Applejack fought to keep a straight face. “Ah don’t know what you’re talkin’ abou-”

“You and I both know that your promise was only to board peacefully, not remain aboard. You are a business pony. I am willing to bet a substantial amount of money that you caught that even before you even performed the Pinkie Promise.”

“You know Pinkie Pie too?”

A slight look of exasperation crossed the gray mare’s face. “We’ve... met,” she said shortly.

“She's a hoofful, isn't she?”

The gray mare answered in that same flat voice. “You can say that again, but I highly advise you do not.”

“Sheesh,” Applejack muttered. “Tough crowd.”

“It's a pirate thing,” she said dismissively.

Knowing they were nearing her cell, Applejack made one last effort to try and make friends. “You said you weren't from around here; how did you become a pirate, anyway?”

“I had to flee for my life after I was caught singlehoofedly pleasuring no less than eight of my father's business associates at the same time. I was interrupted by a posse of their wives and the royal guard. It was enjoyable, but made quite the mess, and I still don't think my rectum has fully recovered.”

Applejack stopped short and stared at her in abject horror... until the mare forcefully shoved her back into a cell that Applejack hadn't seen and then slammed the iron bar door shut. She tripped and sprawled along the floor.

The gray mare giggled as she pulled the bars in place and locked them in place. “I can't believe you believed me. I'm impressed you've survived this long for being so gullible.”

Applejack growled and pushed herself to her hooves, angry at both being lied to and at being tricked into the cell like that. “Whatever,” was her less-than-intimidating comeback.

Still chuckling, the gray pony blew her a kiss. “I imagine you've been through a lot and would like some rest. Sleep well, apple mare.”

“My name is Applejack,” Applejack hissed.

“Apple mare,” she repeated disdainfully before turning and walking away.

Applejack paced for a while, but soon realized she had nothing better to do than to collapse on the little bunk and attempt to get some sleep. The fight had left her exhausted physically; her current position hurt her mentally.

* * *

Applejack was awoken by a harsh clanging sound. She looked up blearily and when her eyes had come back into focus, she saw a little orange pegasus filly with a purple mane banging cheerfully on the bars with a little sword.

“Knock it off,” she grumbled, reaching for a pillow to pull over her head. Of course, there wasn’t one; but it was still a habit anyway.

“I gotta wake you up!” she responded cheerfully. “Rainbow Blitz invited you to dinner!”

“Tell 'im Ah ain’t hungry.”

Still banging, she chuckled. “Rainbow Blitz said you’d say that, and then said that I had permission to keep making noise until you came!”

“So your plan is to annoy me into submission?”

The blade paused ever so slightly before continuing its motions. “Whatever works, right?”

Applejack rolled off her bed and stood up slowly. “Speakin’ of works, you better stop doing that.”

“Why?”

Applejack pointed at the sword she swung. “Because you’re gonna dent the blade if you keep hitting the edge like that.”

The filly stopped briefly and examined her sword. “Looks fine to m-”

But that’s as far as she got, because Applejack quickly reached out with a hoof and pulled her head sharply forward, slamming it into the bars and stunning her. The brief feeling of guilt for attacking a filly dissipated as she thought of her freedom and going back to her family, and she retrieved the sword and began rifling through the filly’s clothes through the bars.

“Come on, come on,” she hissed. “Where is it?”

“Looking for this?”

Applejack looked up to see that gray mare from earlier, holding a key in her mouth.

“Yeah...” Applejack’s voice trailed off, realizing her already shoddy plan had just crumbled completely.

The pirate smirked. “I suggest dropping the sword and standing away from the bars.”

“Ah suggest lashing yourself to a cannon and jumpin’ overboard,” Applejack retorted.

The gray mare's lips tightened. “Might I remind you that the captain has invited you to dinner, and that you don’t need your tail nor cutie mark to accept that offer?”

Applejack considered this threat. She quickly weighed her options, and realized that this could not end well for her. First of all, she was fighting with a weapon not her own, which was always a disadvantage in a fight (especially when she hadn't practiced with it at all before). Secondly, she was in an enclosed space, and though it was a little sword, she didn’t have much room to swing. That might not have been so bad in and of itself, as the gray mare couldn’t swing her sword either; but the gray mare pulled out a curved dagger, and that was a game changer. The little blade would fillet her like an apple for a pie before she could even swing.

Reluctantly, Applejack dropped the sword, kicked it over by the door, and took a few steps back.

“Good apple mare,” the gray pony said condescendingly as she sheathed her weapon and unlocked the door.

“My name is Applejack.”

“Apple mare,” she repeated as she put the filly’s sword back in its sheath and gently sat her upright on the bench in the cell. She rested her head against the wooden walls and then turned and pointed, indicating that Applejack needed to move. Applejack didn’t mind too much, until Octavia shut the door behind her.

“You’re just gonna leave her there?” Applejack couldn’t help but ask as Octavia directed her from behind with a sharp jab.

“Oh, don’t give me that look. I didn’t lock it or anything, now, did I? Now march. It's not polite to keep the captain waiting.”

Applejack grumbled under her breath. She could think of a few places Octavia should shove her brand of politeness.

* * *

The captain's cabin was just as fancy as Applejack had imagined it would be. Huge silks that probably cost more bits than her whole family made in a month adorned the ceilings and corners and acted as blinds. All the furniture in the room was gilded with gold, or upholstered with velvet. Various treasures lay scattered around the room, everything from piles and bags and pots of gold coins to silver chains to small marble status to more rubies than a dragon's hoard would have. Crowns hung from the ceiling, amulets with precious stones lined the walls--that is, where the fine art hadn't been already taking up space. Her eye was briefly caught by a golden necklace inlaid with an enormous sapphire in the shape of a lightning bolt before flicking over to the pony in the room with her. Instead of the captain, there stood that same rainbow maned pony from earlier, and Applejack couldn't suppress a frown. Apparently, she wasn't good enough for Rainbow Blitz himself, and she had to have dinner with the pirate that had likely sunk her ship. Score two direct hits on her self confidence. She glared dourly.

“Good to see you too!” the pirate replied jovially. “I will be your host tonight. Come! Have a seat.” She pointed with her sword to the table, which Applejack just saw. Her mind had been too enthralled with treasures that would have made her family's life much more comfortable to notice the wide table bearing a globe of the known world, various maps and rolled pieces of paper, and a fairly simple but large spread of food.

Applejack's mouth began to water. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't eaten before leaving Port Ponyville; she'd decided to wait until she had gotten home for that. The rainbow mare flew over to the table and with a flip, landed in a chair, leaning back and resting her hooves up on the table.

When Applejack didn't move, she grinned. “It's just gonna get cold,” she said.

Applejack slowly, and not attempting to hide just how little she trusted this mare, walked over to the table and sat down.

“Guests first, of course,” the mare said, gesturing widely.

Applejack glanced at it and then glared. “It's poisoned,” she accused.

The rainbow mare shrugged. "Suit yourself," she said, reaching for Applejack's plate and pulling it over to herself. She picked up the hunk of bread and took a big bite, sending crumbs flying as she chewed with her mouth open.

Applejack watched her eat with slight revulsion. “Oh… kay…”

She then reached for the hay fries and stuffed a hoofful of those in her mouth as well. When she reached again, Applejack blocked her with a hoof.

The rainbow mare grinned as she retracted her hoof. “Oh, good. Still got a little spunk in you.”

“That's what all the polite folks say,” Applejack said, pulling her plate back in front of herself.

“And the impolite folks?” the rainbow mare asked, taking a messy bite off her own plate.

Applejack chuckled. “Somethin' like stubborn, bull-headed, asenine...”

The mare leaned over and peeked under the table, as if looking at Applejack's cutie mark. “Meh... I'd give it a six, seven at best.”

“Wait. What?” Applejack didn't understand, and was even more confused when the mare burst out laughing.

Eventually she managed to control herself, and wiped off her lips brusquely with a hoof. “Fine, I'll talk. We're after this.” And she reached into one of the many folds in her clothing and held up a little flask marked with the Apple family logo.

Applejack was somewhat dumbfounded. “This is all about some silly cider?” she couldn't help but ask. Foalnapped and lost her ship and bits over cider? Sure, it was good, and fetched a great price, and always sold out in minutes whenever she brought it to ports…

Ok, maybe she had a point.

“It is not silly!” her captor retorted angrily, stowing away the cider protectively. “This stuff is nectar from the Creators! I wouldn't be surprised if Celestia herself bathed in this stuff every morning!”

Applejack couldn't hide a small blush. “Well, now,” she stammered. “That's some high praise.”

“This stuff is like liquid happiness. And I want it all.”

A cold chill ran up Applejack’s spine. “That's not gonna happen,” Applejack hissed, all good feelings vanishing instantly.

“Oh, yes it is,” the rainbow mare retorted. “You are going to lead Rainbow Blitz to your home island, where we will then take all the cider you have. We'll most likely leave the rest of you alive if you do.”

Applejack's eyes hardened. “Ah ain't never gonna betray my island,” she growled, “so you can tell Rainbow Blitz to get stuffed.”

The mare didn't even flinch. “That's cool,” she said dismissively. “We've got plenty of supplies and all the time in the world. Eventually, you're going to crack.” She turned and called, “Li'l Scoots?”

That little orange filly from earlier, looking only slightly worse for the wear, appeared in the doorway and looked up expectantly. She now sported a bruise on her forehead, and when she saw Applejack there, her eyes narrowed. She clearly was hoping for a round two.

“Take her back to the brig.”

As Li’l Scoots saluted, Applejack couldn’t suppress a smile. Maybe this time she would have more luck escaping.

“Oh, and take Octavia with you. Just in case.”

Li'l Scoots looked briefly crestfallen that she hadn't been trusted to take this mission solo, but she snapped to a salute and barked, “Aye aye, cap'n!” before turning and walking confidently out of the room.

“Li'l Scoots?”

“Yes, cap'n?”

“Don't forget your prisoner.”

“Oh,” Scoots giggled. “Right.” She returned and gave Applejack a none too gentle push on her rump to get her moving. Rolling her eyes, Applejack began walking back to her new home.

* * *

Li’l Scoots led her back to the brig, with Octavia (the same gray earth pony as before) following close behind. Applejack felt as though she were in a deadly sandwich. Well, half a sandwich, anyway. Though nowhere near a good fighter, she had to admit that Li’l Scoots was very resilient.

And maybe a bit more vulnerable to befriending.

“You mad about earlier?” Applejack asked.

Li'l Scoots shrugged. “Nah. Tavi said that it was my fault for letting my guard down, and that I shouldn't do it again.”

“This 'Tavi' sounds like a smart pony.”

The next answer came from behind Applejack. “Thank you, apple mare.”

So much for getting on her good side... Applejack decided to change the subject. “You like serving under Rainbow Blitz?”

Now this topic Li'l Scoots was happy to talk about. “Yeah, she's awesome!” she cheered.

“She?” Applejack asked, surprised.

“Yeah, ‘she’,” Li’l Scoots said, a note of confusion in her voice.

“But Rainbow Blitz is a colt, right? That's what all the rumors say.”

Li'l Scoots giggled, but Octavia burst out laughing, probably for the first time that month. It was a slightly unnerving sound, really.

“What's so funny?” Applejack asked, blushing slightly at getting laughed at so often on this ship.

“And do you believe every rumor you hear, apple mare?”

“My name is Applejack,” she protested half-heartedly.

“Apple mare,” Li’l Scoots teased, sticking her tongue out as she continued trotting down the narrow hall.

Applejack shut her mouth as they continued down the hall. She didn't say anything as Li'l Scoots gently pushed her into her cell. She didn’t say anything as Octavia continued to rib her about being so gullible.

And she didn't say anything when she noticed Octavia didn't lock the door behind her when she left.

* * *

Apple Bloom rowed her little skiff into the bay and onto the beach closest to her family's house. She had been doing her normal rounds, making sure the trees were watered and the leaves swept away from the roots, that kind of thing. But now that she had finished, she was ready to go home and see her sister again. Applejack always brought something back for her from the port, and she couldn’t wait.

She burst into the house, calling for her sister. “Hey, Applejack! Didja get a good price fer our apples today?”

Her voice trailed off as she saw her grandmother and brother sitting at the table, with a stricken expression on their faces.

“Guys?” Apple Bloom asked, raising a hoof hesitantly. “What's goin' on?”

“Apple Bloom?” Mac finally said.

“Yeah?”

“Your sister... Applejack didn't make it back today.”

Apple Bloom's heart leapt into her mouth. “Where is she?”

“Ah don't know,” Mac said quietly.

“Was it pirates?”

Mac's silence spoke volumes.

Apple Bloom's eyes welled up with tears and she buried her face in Mac's chest. “But th- there's still a chance she's alive, right?” Apple Bloom asked, looking up through sobs.

“Maybe.” He brought a hoof up and stroked her mane, offering comfort he himself didn't feel.

It was a cold, cold night on the Apple island.