The bell suspended above the door to Carousel Boutique jingled as Silver Spoon entered the establishment with some trepidation. She had only been here twice before, once for a dress to wear to Diamond Tiara’s cute-ceanera and again with Diamond Tiara for matching outfits to attend the Equestria Games flag carrying competition. While the outfits were both lovely, both events ended on a bad note and she began to wonder whether she should shop for a dress somewhere with a proven track record for good luck – or at least unproven bad luck. She quickly put the thought out of her head. Carousel Creations was the hub of pony fashion and Diamond Tiara deserved the very best.
Rarity, the proprietor of Carousel Creations, was putting the finishing touches on an impressive-looking gray raincoat with graphics of clouds on each side and columns of diamonds set underneath to resemble raindrops falling from those clouds. Silver Spoon’s eyes widened, smitten with how lovely the raincoat looked.
“Welcome to Carous-” she began. The fashionista paused as she recognized her foal customer and the professional smile she wore faded into a neutral expression.
“-el... Boutique,” she finished. “Hello, Silver Spoon.”
“Hello, Miss Rarity, ma’am,” said Silver Spoon. “That’s a beautiful raincoat you’ve made.”
“You’re too kind.”
“I’d like to buy a dress on credit, ma’am.” Like Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon had charge accounts with every business in town. This allowed her to obtain goods and services as she pleased without having to carry bits.
“You may. I heard about what happened today from Sweetie Belle. I take it that you and your friend are all right?”
Silver Spoon could tell from Rarity’s tone that she was only asking as a courtesy.
“I’m okay, ma’am... and she’s going to be okay, too, thanks for asking.”
“Is your father in town?”
“No, ma’am. He’s usually so busy that I never know where he is.”
“Did you have a particular style of dress in mind?”
There was one outfit that was never far from Silver Spoon’s mind.
“Yes, ma’am,” she replied. “Something long, white and flowing... like a wedding dress... but not too fancy... and not too casual... and no jewels.” The pony for whom this dress was being made was already a beautiful diamond; any more gemstones would be redundant.
“Hmm. And you need this immediately?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I believe I may have a pattern for something of that nature. I still have your measurements on file from your most recent order.”
“Oh, the dress won’t be for me, ma’am. It’s for Diamond Tiara. Do you still have her measurements on file?”
Rarity paused.
“I see. Well, you’re quite fortunate that I am a professional – for if I were not, I’d tell you to leave my shop and never return. I reserve the right to refuse service to anypony for any reason. I shall make a dress for your friend since I’ve already agreed to do so – but I shan’t bill either of you for it and it won’t bear my designer label.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” said Silver Spoon. “I understand.”
“Do you now? Your teacher – sorry, your former teacher and I attended school together as foals. We were never quite close the way she was with Pinkie Pie but I always had the utmost respect for her and her profession. Naturally, I was shocked to hear that she would attack one of her own students. I detest violence of any kind. It’s absolutely inexcusable for an adult to attack a foal... and I would never condone her actions... but, dear Celestia, after hearing how Diamond Tiara taunted her about her condition, I find it somewhat easier to understand what drove Cheerilee to do it.”
“Did Sweetie Belle tell you that Diamond Tiara acted alone, ma’am?”
“Yes, she did.”
“I’m glad to hear it, ma’am – because it’s the truth. I had nothing to do with that at all. Diamond Tiara didn’t tell me beforehoof that she was going to make fun of Miss Cheerilee’s condition. I didn’t even know she had that file with her. What she did was awful. If I knew, I would have talked her out of it.”
“Hmm. And yet you still haven’t severed your ties with her.”
“She’s my best friend, ma’am. With all due respect, would you abandon your best friends for using poor judgment?”
“Poor judgment? Darling, wearing white after Neighbor Day is poor judgment. Diamond Tiara implemented a surgical strike on Cheerilee’s good nature. It was carefully calculated to humiliate her as much as possible by hitting her right where it hurt the most. When one makes a decision to expose somepony else’s incredibly personal medical condition for their own amusement… that is not poor judgment. That – is gleeful wickedness. And I’ll have you know that none of my friends would ever stoop so low as to make light of a mare’s infertility.”
“Your best friends are grownups, ma’am. Diamond Tiara and I are only foals.”
“I suggest that you two milk that safety net for as long as you can, Silver Spoon, because when you’re old enough to accept responsibility for your own actions, it won’t be there to fall back on. But then, I suppose that your fathers could simply buy you new nets in much the same way they bought your freedom when your sentences were suspended.”
Rarity cringed as she saw tears begin to well up in Silver Spoon’s eyes.
“There, there, dear,” said Rarity gently. “Please don’t cry.” She levitated a hoofkerchief from her utility drawer and dried Silver Spoon’s tears from behind her glasses. “It was insensitive of me to be so cross with you. You’ve been through an emotionally exhausting experience today. Please accept my apologies.” She levitated a small package of gum that was sitting on her counter and brought it closer. “Would you care for some bubble gum?”
Silver Spoon sniffled.
“What flavor is it?” she asked.
Rarity looked at the package.
“Grape,” she said.
“Yes, please,” said Silver Spoon as she held her hoof out. Rarity unwrapped the gum and placed it in Silver Spoon’s hoof. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“You’re welcome,” said Rarity, smiling softly. “And please – call me Rarity.”
“Thank you, Rarity.” Silver Spoon smiled back. She popped the gum into her mouth and began chewing.
“Silver Spoon?” said Sweetie Belle, who had just descended the stairs. “What are you doing here?”
“Getting a dress for Diamond Tiara,” said Silver Spoon.
“Is she at the hospital?”
“Mm-hm. She needed a lot more stitches than I did so I was released early. Once the doctor’s done with her, she’s gonna get bandaged up. That’s why I’m getting her the dress.”
“Oh. Did it hurt when you got your stitches?”
“The shot hurt more than the stitching.”
“You got a shot?”
“Yeah, the doctor had to give me an injection in the face before he could start. It hurt so much that I cried.” Sweetie Belle winced at the thought. “After the shot started to work, I barely felt any of the stitching.”
“So, is your tail okay?”
“Uh, yeah, my tail’s fine. I was only hit in the face.”
“Oh. Good.”
Sweetie Belle walked past Silver Spoon. She bit the end of Silver Spoon’s tail and yanked it hard enough to make the gray filly stumble backward and lose her hoofing.
“YOWP!” squealed Silver Spoon as her plot hit the floor.
“That’s for messing with my head about kissing Button,” declared Sweetie Belle.
“Sweetie Belle! How dare you assault one of my clients?! Why, just look at what you’ve done to the poor filly. She’s so startled that she’s out of breath.”
Silver Spoon was indeed gasping for breath but it was certainly not out of being startled. The more unexpected the pulling of her hair was, the more stimulating it felt.
“Are you all right, darling?” asked Rarity.
“I swallowed my gum,” said Silver Spoon as she groggily rose to her hooves with her head turned to hide her smile, “but apart from that, I’m okay.”
Rarity turned her head to face Sweetie Belle and scowled at her.
“What?” asked Sweetie Belle in a defensive tone. “She had it coming.”
Rarity levitated her little sister and carried her to the front door.
“Hey!” cried Sweetie Belle. “What are you doing? No fair! Put me down!”
Rarity opened the front door and set her sister down about twenty feet away from the door.
“You are banned from my shop until you learn how to behave like a civilized young lady. Now march straight back home and tell Mother and Father why I’m not looking after you.”
“But-”
“Now. Or the vacation in Manehattan’s off.”
“Awwww.”
Sweetie Belle hung her head and began her trek home.
Rarity closed the door and approached Silver Spoon.
“I’m terribly sorry about that, dear,” said Rarity. “She’s fairly well behaved most of the time.”
“It’s okay, Rarity,” said Silver Spoon. “I did tease her so I guess I did kind of have it coming. If the dress will take a while longer to make, I’d be happy to walk Sweetie Belle back home.”
“That’s very big of you, dear. You know, you remind me of myself when I was your age. Do you by chance know how to sew?”
“Well, not really... but I did get to watch some sewing up close.” Silver Spoon patted the adhesive gauze pad stuck to her cheek.
Rarity giggled.
“Stop by some day after closing time and I’ll give you some private sewing lessons.”
“You’d do that for me?” asked Silver Spoon.
“I certainly would. It’s the least I can do to make up for my sister’s inexcusable behavior.”
“Thanks again, Rarity. I’d love to learn how to sew.”
“Splendid... but I would appreciate it if you’d do me the courtesy of showing up... alone.” Rarity grinned and winked at Silver Spoon.
Silver Spoon’s jaw dropped and her eyes grew wide. She lowered an eyebrow and took a half step backward.
Rarity blushed.
“Oh, no,” she spat as she reached out with her left forehoof and shook her head back and forth vigorously. “No-no-no-no-no, oh, good heavens, no, ha ha, I didn’t mean it like that.” She quickly cleared her throat. “What I meant was I’d prefer that you not bring your friend Diamond Tiara along for the lesson.” She gave a nervous giggle that did nothing to alleviate the awkwardness of the misunderstanding.
It was now Silver Spoon’s turn to blush.
“Oh!” she said, scratching the back of her head and smiling. “Of course! I wouldn’t have brought her along anyway. She hates manual labor. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha... Ahh... I’ll be back soon.”
Silver Spoon turned and quickly exited the shop.
“Sweetie Belle, wait up!” shouted Silver Spoon as she saw the unicorn filly off in the distance.
“Oh, it’s you again," said Sweetie Belle as the earth pony filly caught up to her. "Walking me home?"
"Yeah."
"Really? I was just kidding. Hey, what the Tartaros was Diamond Tiara thinking when she mouthed off at Miss Cheerilee today?”
“I don’t know.”
“You didn’t ask her?”
“We were kind of busy getting looked at by doctors. I wasn’t gonna ask her about it in front of everypony.”
Sweetie Belle sighed.
“What’s your best guess as to why she did it?” she asked.
“It could be any number of reasons,” said Silver Spoon. “She was kind of upset at Miss Cheerilee for not picking her as her favorite student.”
“How petty can you get?”
“Sometimes she gets this high from having power over somepony. It’s like she can’t wait to prove to the world how much smarter she is than everypony else. I do that too, sometimes... but I never would have gone that far.”
“Well, do what you can to get her to dial it back, okay? I had to practically beg Apple Bloom not to attack her the next time they meet.”
“Did it work?”
“Yeah, but if Diamond Tiara ticks her off even a little when school’s back in session, I won’t be held responsible for what happens. Scootaloo knows she’ll get in trouble if she attacks anypony so I think she’ll be cool. Anyway, that’s just my crew I’ve got on lockdown. There’s no telling who else in class... or in town... wants to get back at you two.”
“But I didn’t do anything to Miss Cheerilee.”
“I know that. And you know that. But everypony who’s gonna hear about this won’t. Without news coverage, there won’t be any facts to go by. Everypony will add ‘dot, dot, dot and Silver Spoon’ after Diamond Tiara’s name when they hear she did something mean. Do you see now why you need to ditch the scorpion? The sooner you ditch her, the better off you’ll be.”
“Would you stop calling Diamond Tiara a scorpion? And I already told you that I’m not ditching her. Like, I’d ditch my mom before I’d ditch her.”
“Seriously? Wow. That’s cold.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew my mom. Tartaros, I don’t even know my mom.”
The two fillies kept silent for a while.
“I’m sorry I teased you about Button,” said Silver Spoon. “I promise I won’t do it again.”
“A bully’s promise, huh? Now there’s something I can count on.”
“Yeah, well, I mean it... so take it or leave it.”
“I’ll take it. Thanks.”
Silence seized them once more.
“You have the coolest big sister ever,” said Silver Spoon. “I’m, like, so jealous of you.”
“She is pretty awesome,” agreed Sweetie Belle, “though I can’t wait for the day when ponies start referring to her as ‘Sweetie Belle’s sister’.”
“Is she gonna stay mad at you?”
“Nah. I’ll just show up at her door tomorrow with two tubs of ice cream and some sad puppy dog eyes. That combination usually breaks her.”
“I could sure go for some ice cream right now.”
“Ice cream does sound pretty good. It’s settled then. We’ll go to the malt shop. You’re buying.”
“Tchah! And you’re dreaming.”
“Aw, come on, be a pal.”
“Why would I be something that I’m not?”
“Why would I ask you to be something that you already are?”
“You’re not asking me to be something I already am. You’re telling me to be something I’m not.”
“That’s what I’m saying. There’s no point in telling you to be something if you already are that something.”
“But that’s what I’m saying. I’m not your pal so telling me to be one is pointless.”
“And I’m saying it’s pointless if you are a pal.”
“I think we’re arguing two different things.”
“No, listen. You don’t need somepony to be your pal in order to ask them to be a pal. They don’t even have to be a pony. You can ask a piece of manure to be a pal if you want. Actually, that must be how you became pals with Diamond Tiara! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!”
“Tell me you did not just say that.”
“Should I tell you... or should I ask you?”
Silver Spoon facehoofed. She thought it was necessary to eat ice cream in order to have an ice cream headache.
“Look, if you want ice cream so badly, why don’t you go ask your mom and dad for some money?” asked Silver Spoon. “They’re not broke.”
“Like they’d give me a wooden bit when I tell them why Rarity sent me home early. Thanks a lot for getting me into trouble.”
“I got you into trouble? Uh! Whatever. Speaking of trouble, Mr. Rich came to the hospital when Diamond Tiara and I were getting fixed up by the doctors.”
“What’d he say?”
“Not much. He just asked who hurt her and he ran off mad. I’ll bet that he’s got every police officer in Equestria searching for her. I wish... It’s a real shame that this happened. I really liked Miss Cheerilee. Well, right up until she went crazy, anyway.”
“Don’t call her crazy. She just had an emotional breakdown.”
“Hey, Sweetie Belle?”
“What?”
“Have you ever heard of a pony named She Who Welcomes? Or something called The Unspoken Wish?”
“No. Are they a band? Because those would be cool stage names for a lead singer and her band. Fillies and gentlecolts, please give a warm welcome to She Who Welcomes and The Unspoken Wish!”
“I don’t know what they are.”
“Where did you hear about them?”
“Uhhh... Just around somewhere.”
“They sound like they might be magical. Why don’t you ask Princess Twilight. She knows everything about magic.”
“Why didn’t I think of that? That’s a great idea. Oh, uh, hey, can we walk along the lake? It’s a bit more populated there and... I’m a little nervous about being alone.”
“Nervous? Why?”
Silver Spoon sighed. She sat down and Sweetie Belle stopped walking to sit with her.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this...” said Silver Spoon softly, “...but... when I ran out of the schoolhouse to get a grownup to help Diamond Tiara, I ran into some stallions and...” She closed her eyes and looked away. “...they... touched me.”
Sweetie Belle covered her mouth with her left forehoof.
“As in they ‘touched you’ touched you?”
“Mm-hm,” said Silver Spoon with a nod. “I didn’t get a good look at their faces or cutie marks because I left my glasses behind,” continued Silver Spoon. “You should have heard them laugh it up while I was crying. They were so mean. I was so scared that they were gonna do something worse.”
Sweetie Belle quickly wrapped her forelegs around Silver Spoon and hugged her.
“Hey...” said Silver Spoon as she wriggled to remove herself from Sweetie Belle’s embrace. “Cut it out. We’re not... friends.”
Silver Spoon stopped trying to break Sweetie Belle’s hold on her. Tears began to form in her eyes and her lower lip trembled. She had been so busy worrying about Diamond Tiara and looking after her that she had nearly forgotten about how truly terrifying her encounter with her molesters had been. Now that it came back to her, the fear and the sadness returned with it. And just when she was in need of comfort – Sweetie Belle was here, gracious enough to provide it.
“I know we’re not friends,” whispered Sweetie Belle, “but hugs have the power to heal... and I don’t have a problem with offering aid to the enemy.”
Silver Spoon whined as her forelegs rose and returned the hug. Its warmth was rain on the flower that was Silver Spoon’s soul.
Friendship was more than just magic. It was elastic. And Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon, two ponies who didn’t like each other, stretched it into the shape they needed it to be in order to meet each other half way.
“Those stallions won’t be back again,” said Sweetie Belle as she gently broke the hug. “Do you know what the punishment is for a sex crime?”
“Life in prison?” asked Silver Spoon as she lifted her glasses to dry her tears.
“Worse.” Smirking, Sweetie Belle stood on her hind legs and drew her hoof across her crotch in the shape of an X. “They surgically remove the guy’s private parts.”
“Whoa!” exclaimed Silver Spoon. “Everything?”
“Everything. So mares are pretty safe in Equestria. Or at least they were until those guys did what they did to you. They must have been either drunk or stupid.”
“You know something? I finally figured out why I’m almost thinking about starting to warm up to you... some day in the distant future.”
“Oh, yeah?” asked Sweetie Belle with a smile.
“Yeah,” replied Silver Spoon with a smile of her own. “It’s because you’ve got the same color scheme as Diamond Tiara.”
“‘The same color scheme’?” Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow, wondering what Silver Spoon meant.
“Yeah. You’re white with a pink and lavender mane and tail and she’s pink with a white and lavender mane and tail. You two have the exact same shades of those colors.”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. Silver Spoon raised an eyebrow.
“I take that look of shock to mean that you’ve never noticed that before,” said Silver Spoon with a smirk.
Sweetie Belle frowned, repulsed by the fact that she had anything at all in common with Diamond Tiara.
“I’m dyeing my mane and tail – today,” she declared.
Silver Spoon chuckled, which made Sweetie Belle smile.
“Are you positive that I can’t convince you to ditch Diamond Tiara?” asked Sweetie Belle. “What if I gave you another hug?”
“I’m positive,” replied Silver Spoon. “It would take a lot more than just hugging me to get me to ditch Diamond Tiara.”
“Well, there’s only so much I can do. I’m dating Button Mash, remember?”
Silver Spoon blushed at the implication that physical contact to a greater degree might convince her to end her friendship with Diamond Tiara.
Okay, that’s twice now she’s hit upon my orientation, thought Silver Spoon.
“You are, like, so bad,” said Silver Spoon with a giggle as she turned her head. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“You think I’m bad?” asked Sweetie Belle. “Apple Bloom’s way worse than I am. Guess who she thought I wanted to mess around with one time.”
“Silver Spoon!” shouted somepony in the air above. The two fillies looked up and saw a pegasus mare wearing a maid’s uniform. “Oh, thank Celestia I found you.”
“Heather?” asked Silver Spoon. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you, dear,” said Heather. “We heard about what your teacher did. The whole lot of us at the estate were out looking for you.” The pegasus gently held Silver Spoon’s chin and angled the filly’s head to examine the gauze pad on her face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine now, thanks. Sweetie Belle, this is Heather Duster, one of my parents’ housekeepers where I live. Heather, this is Sweetie Belle, one of my classmates from school.”
“A pleasure to meet you, miss,” said Heather as she curtsied to Sweetie Belle. She turned to face Silver Spoon. “You really should have come straight home as soon as you were released from the hospital, Silver. Everypony was worried sick about you.” She reached into her apron pocket with her mouth and pulled out a piece of paper. “Your father wrote you a telegram that we were instructed to give to you immediately.” She released the paper as Silver Spoon bit down on it. “Come home soon, all right, Silver?”
“Okay,” said Silver Spoon. “Thanks, Heather.”
“Is there anything you need before I go?” asked Heather.
“No, thank you, Heather. That’ll be all.”
Heather nodded and departed for the Hoity Finish estate. Sweetie Belle watched the mare fly away, jealous that Silver Spoon had servants attending to her needs.
Silver Spoon opened the telegram, stuck her nose in it, and read its contents out loud.
“Dearest Silver, I just heard about what happened with your teacher.” She turned to look at Sweetie Belle. “Wow, it’s only been a few hours since school was closed and this is from Canterlot. News sure travels quickly, huh?” She returned her attention to the telegram. “I told you that ratty common school was no good for you. Perhaps now you’ll believe me. If not, then believe this: Your mother and I have decided that you...”
Silver Spoon gulped as she read the rest of the telegram silently. Sweetie Belle walked over to where it lay and levitated it.
“Your mother and I have decided that you won’t be returning to the Ponyville Schoolhouse when it reopens; no ifs, ands, or buts,” read Sweetie Belle, picking up where Silver Spoon left off. “You may stay on at our Ponyville estate if that is where you wish to live but, effective immediately, you’ll be tutored privately – and safely – at home. The necessary arrangements have already been made. This is for your own good, sweetheart. You’ll understand when you’re older. Love, Daddykins. P.S. The Canterlot finishing school for fillies still has a spot open for you should you change your mind about moving.”
Sweetie Belle put the telegram down.
“Daddykins?” said Sweetie Belle. “Really?”
“I can’t stand my life sometimes,” said Silver Spoon with a grimace.
“I can’t stand your life sometimes, either,” said Sweetie Belle. “Gee, now who will you pick on? Ooh, I know. I can go to your house on the weekends and you can pick on me for the low, low cost of five hundred bits an hour.”
“That’s not funny.”
“Okay, fine, two hundred bits an hour. You sure drive a hard bargain.”
“This is no laughing matter.”
“You’re telling me? I’ve been getting picked on for free when I could have been selling my self-worth to rich, homeschooled bullies as a service from the get go.” Sweetie Belle sighed as she gazed forlornly into the midday sky. “All that lost revenue.”
“Sweetie Belle, I’m serious! What am I gonna do?”
“Uh, tell a friend?”
Sweetie Belle’s suggestion pierced Silver Spoon’s heart. She wasn’t expecting such a cold and impersonal comeback from the filly who had just comforted her moments earlier and it felt a bit like a betrayal. She caught herself with her mouth open and she quickly closed it. She saw herself for the fool that she was to believe for a second that they could have had anything for one another apart from contempt.
“Well, silly me,” she said softly. “I thought that’s what I was already doing,” said Silver Spoon with a quiver in her voice that she quelled as soon as she noticed it. “I won’t make that mistake again.”
“Hey, you’re the one who said we’re not friends,” noted Sweetie Belle, “not me.”
“Don’t give me that! You’re the one who said we can’t be friends unless I ditch Diamond Tiara first!”
“Because you need to ditch her! Not just for me but for yourself! Why can’t you see that?”
“Because I don’t need to ditch Diamond Tiara! If there’s anypony in need of being ditched around here, it’s you, you blank flank!”
“Oh, yeah? Well, that’s fine with me! Have fun being stuck in your mansion Monday through Friday with your tutor! It couldn’t happen to a nicer bully! See you never!”
Silver Spoon gritted her teeth at the mention of her homeschooling. The only thing she detested more than the fact that she, like all foals, operated at her parents’ sufferance was being reminded of it. There was one freedom that she still possessed: the freedom to let Sweetie Belle know what she thought of her.
“Rut you!” said Silver Spoon. She turned around and ran back to Carousel Boutique for the gift that her one true friend was waiting to receive.
Sweetie Belle gasped. Nopony had ever sworn at her before and she found that she didn’t like it time at all. Her face turned red as she closed her eyes and seethed with vitriolic fury.
Suddenly, she gasped.
She then jumped into the lake.
The water was too cold for comfort but she remained submerged for as long as she could hold her breath. Less than a minute later, she brought her head above water and began a pattern of breathing exercises that Princess Twilight had taught her. She kept her eyes closed as she focused on calming down.
“One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. I’m okay. Everything is fine. I have no fear. I have no hatred. I am at peace and the world is a beautiful place full of the things I love. Cute puppies. Sweet-smelling flowers. Double chocolate fudge ice cream. A romantic boat ride with Button Mash in one of those swan-shaped boats.”
She stepped out of the lake and looked at her reflection. She liked what she saw and she smiled even though she was soaking wet.
“Whew, that was a close one,” she muttered to herself.
Mrs. Cake lingered in front of the door to Pinkie Pie’s room. She had a forehoof poised to knock on it but she was hesitant to do so. The time off that Pinkie was taking to mourn Twist’s passing had exceeded what both Mr. and Mrs. Cake reasonably considered to be adequate and she wished to broach the subject with Pinkie as tactfully and delicately as possible. The party mare’s tenure with the Cakes as a tenant and an employee made her an honorary member of the Cake family but even honorary family members had to pull their own weight.
“Um, excuse me, Mrs. Cake,” said a voice that came from the top of the stairs which were located right behind Mrs. Cake. She turned around and saw that the speaker was Fluttershy.
“Oh!” said Mrs. Cake. “It’s you, Fluttershy. You startled me.”
“Oh, did I? Oh, I’m so very sorry about that! I didn’t mean to. Please forgive me. I promise I’ll be more careful next time. What if I started whistling a tune when I’m ten feet away from you so that you know I’m heading in your direction? Or would twenty feet be better? What about fifty? I suppose I’d have to whistle louder if I’m that far away... oh, unless a loud whistle would also startle you.”
“Don’t worry about it, Fluttershy. I’m okay. Was there something I could help you with, dearie?”
“Um, yes, I came to see Pinkie Pie and Mr. Cake told me that she was in.”
“You might be just what the doctor ordered.”
“‘Doctor’? Is she sick?”
“Not that I know of... but Pinkie’s been a bit elusive as of late since her little friend passed away. Maybe a visit from a good friend can improve her mood.”
“Well, this isn’t a social call, unfortunately. Rainbow Dash told me that something terrible has happened at the Ponyville schoolhouse. The schoolhouse closed early today because Cheerilee’s been fired.”
“WHAT?!” screamed Pinkie Pie as she swung her door open.
Fluttershy squeaked as she instinctively hid behind Mrs. Cake.
“Oh, Pinkie,” said Fluttershy as she peeked out from behind Mrs. Cake. “You startl-”
“Yeah-yeah-yeah,” said Pinkie. “There’s no time to waste, Fluttershy. Come with me. We need to go see Cheerilee – stat!”
“Uh,” started Mrs. Cake, “Pinkie, I...”
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Cake,” said Pinkie. “I’ll be back in time for lunch!”
Mrs. Cake was left coughing in a cloud of dust.
“Okay, tell me everything you know,” said Pinkie as she huffed and puffed, running like the wind.
“Earlier today,” said Fluttershy, “Rainbow Dash told me that Scootaloo told her that Cheerilee had attacked Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Then Mayor Mare entered the schoolhouse and took Cheerilee home.”
“Whose home? Cheerilee’s or Mayor Mare’s?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I’m sorry.”
“The mayor’s house is all the way in the high rent district. Let’s check out Cheerilee’s house first since it’s closer.”
“Rainbow said that she would have gone to see Cheerilee herself but she was still on weather duty.”
They arrived at Cheerilee's to find the front door open. They entered to find a mess on the kitchen floor - with Mayor Mare as part of that mess.
“Oh, my goodness! Mayor Mare! Are you all right?” asked Fluttershy as she helped her up.
“Cheerilee?” asked Mayor Mare.
“No, Mayor. It’s me, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.”
“Where’s Cheerilee?” muttered Mayor Mare. “Have you seen-”
“OH!” shrieked Fluttershy, catching Mayor Mare who had lost her balance.
Pinkie Pie shook her head disapprovingly.
“You know, Ms. Mayor,” she said, “I like cider as much as the next pony... but it’s the middle of the day. ‘Enjoy responsibly’ includes waiting until after five PM.”
“M’not drunk, Pinkie,” muttered Mayor Mare. “M’dizzy... too dizzy to stan’ up. Cheerilee?”
“She’s not here, Ms. Mayor,” said Fluttershy.
“Where is she?” asked the Mayor.
“We don’t know," said Pinkie. "Fluttershy told me that Rainbow Dash told her that Scootaloo told her that Cheerilee got fired for attacking Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in the schoolhouse so I went out with Fluttershy here to see how she was doing and when we got here, we saw you on the floor and-”
Fluttershy looked at Pinkie and screamed.
Mayor Mare recoiled.
“Oh, manure, Pinkie Pie,” said the mayor. “You’re bleeding from your eyes.”
Pinkie quickly stood on her hind legs and brought her forehooves to her cheeks where she felt something warm running down them. The forbidden Pinkie sense had returned to herald the death of another Ponyvillian. And if that wasn’t bad enough, somepony other than Rarity witnessed the blood tears.
“Oh, no...” whimpered Pinkie as she slowly lifted her head to look up at the ceiling. “No-no-no-no-NOOOOOOO!! WHYYYY-HY-HYYYYYY??”
Pinkie spotted a pair of decorative tragedy/comedy masks adorning Cheerilee’s wall. Pinkie snatched the comedy mask, put it over her face, and ran out of the door crying.
“Pinkie Pie!” said Fluttershy at a volume that amounted to little more than a weak shout. “Wait! Come back!” She flew toward the door in pursuit of Pinkie.
“Fluttershy…” moaned Mayor Mare. “Please don’t leave... me... urp.”
Mayor Mare lowered her head and vomited.
Fluttershy looked at Mayor Mare and then at the door. Forced to decide between a frightened friend and an injured friend, she chose to remain behind and tend to Mayor Mare. She squatted as she walked underneath the mayor and lifted her up off the floor onto her back.
“I’m bringing you to Ponyville Hospital, Ms. Mayor,” she said.
“Thanks,” breathed Mayor Mare. “Please... don’t move too fast. Everything’s... spinning.”
“Okay, I’ll walk slowly... but... um, if it can be helped, please try not to upchuck on me.”
Five seconds into the trip, Fluttershy was disappointed to learn that it couldn’t be
helped.
Nor could it be helped eleven seconds later.
Nor every two minutes after that.