//------------------------------//
// Ch1: Friendship is Magic after all 
// Story: Equestria's Mark 
// by MasterZadok 
//------------------------------//


Equestria’s Mark


By MasterZadok



Chapter 1


It started out much like any other Human in Equestria story, as an ordinary day that just so happened to be
Magic
Suffice to say that my life story is a boring and terrible hook to start a tale with. With that being said, I had just finished another day full of life stuff. Things like my job, school, debts, all of the weary elements that come with living on a little planet called Earth. I’ll freely admit that the end of the day was always my favorite part, the time when I can leave the cares of day-to-day life behind, bury myself in that pillow I’ve had for decades, and bask in a few precious hours of bliss.
However, that night proved to be quite different from my normal routine. I can’t properly remember what happened or how the phenomena began, but I remember falling asleep. And then I was falling. Asleep.
The feeling of weightlessness was my first clue. I had experienced the sensation of ‘falling’ while asleep a couple times, (apparently the doctors say it’s your brain giving your body a jolt because your heart is slowing down too quickly), but as my heart gave that telltale surge and I snapped open my tired eyes, I didn’t see my shadowy bedroom like I expected.
I saw stars.
It felt like I was falling in every direction at once, tumbling, swimming, flying, through a glowing blue abyss. All around me were orbs of light as if someone had frozen an entire herd of paparazzi mid-flash. Some were massive, like suns, while others were as small as a fleck of diamond. And I? I was drifting through the constellations like an astronaut who forgot to fasten his tether.
Beautiful as this sensation was, it only lasted for a moment and I really didn’t remember how long I was there. I remember marveling at how lifelike this expedition was. I also remember reminding myself that I've never tried drugs. Thus, I decided that this was one of my better dreams. A moment of inspiration, if you will. I get that sometimes, I fancy myself a writer and that sometimes means pretending to be bonkers.
In the next instant, however, gravity began to tug on my limbs once again. A massive flare of light, one of the stars, had risen right in front of me and I could feel myself falling toward it. It wasn’t necessarily a pleasant experience, the sheer size of the star felt like a weight that could crush me like a bug. I felt like Marlin and Dory when they were trying to swim away from the whale.
With a thud, I hit the ground.
“Oof!” My first reaction was to cough. I was lying spread eagle on my back as if my partner had just failed a ‘trust fall’. As soon as I got the tickle out of my chest, though, I blinked my eyes into focus and frowned thoughtfully to myself.
I wasn’t dreaming.
A dream, see, is always warm and hazy. Makes sense, because while my mind is wandering, my body is tucked up in bed snug as a bug in a rug. Dreams didn’t have cold air. Dreams never knocked the wind out of me. And certainly, dreams didn’t have icy wet grass for me to soak my backside on.
I sat bolt upright, my groggy brain trying to keep up with what my body was telling it. I was sitting in a little dark clearing, surrounded by the deep purple silhouette of trees. My butt was marinating in a chilly patch of ghost-blue grass and the air felt crisp and fresh, but I had no idea where I was. I wasn’t where I had been a moment ago.
Cautiously, I crept to my feet, my eyes piercing into the shadows around me as best they could. I wasn’t in my home. I wasn’t even near my home. The forests around Central Oregon are dry and prickly with an occasional swampy river. Pine trees and sage brush, but not many deciduous trees. This place looked like a Salvador Dali painting with how the tree branches drooped under burdens of slimy vines. Well,
“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Oregon anymore...” I muttered grimly. The surrounding forest seemed to swallow my words like a tasty morsel. There was no reply.
By now, I could say that my brain was waking up. Instead of coming up with that ‘Oz’ cliché, it was busy working on how I got here. I looked behind me at the soft grass I had fallen on. Perhaps that would be a good place to start.
Nothing.
On the slim, but not impossible, chance that I had wandered into the woods around my house and found this bizarre patch of forest, I would have left footprints in the tender vegetation around me. No such luck. There was an imprint of me lying crucifix-style in the grass, but no footprints leading to or from said imprint. It looked as if I had fallen from the sky. Speaking of sky,
I rubbed my dry eyes and peered through the tree branches above me. It was night. Kind of. The great canopy above me was littered with little points of gleaming light, but I had never seen a night sky so… purple… before. The constellations were all alien, but I chalked that up to the fact that I couldn’t see very much of the sky to begin with. The pale face of the moon shone like an ivory sun, but it was swollen beyond its usual, healthy size. Perhaps the man in the moon heard about the Twinky comeback, but something still seemed wrong to me. I tiptoed my bare feet through the grass to the other side of the clearing for a better look.
I don’t know if my heart froze in surprise or if my blood actually turned to ice, but every part of my body went stone-still when I looked at the glowing silver orb above.
The dark scar of the Mare in the Moon glared back at me.
Animation returned slowly, starting with my mind. Thoughts bubbled up in my head like a kettle set to boil,
“That looks like-”
“Yes, it does.”
“But that’s impossible!”
“Nothing’s impossible…”
“Oh, you’ve just been watching too much si-fi!”
“Have not!”
“Have too! You don’t seriously believe you could be in-”
“But why not?”
“Because- Well, you were just in Oregon!”
“The moment you say something is impossible, you set yourself up to be proven wrong.”
“Who said that?”
“Me.”
“And what kind of authority are you!?”
“I’m you.”
“Me?”
“Me.”
While this useless conversation was bouncing back and forth between my ears, my body was frozen, still staring at the moon. Any bystander would have thought that I had entered a staring contest with Medusa. Fortunately, a third voice, strong, soft-spoken, entered the conversation. I liked this voice,
“You remember how you always promised yourself that you would never be the person in the movie who says, ‘that’s impossible’ just before the ‘impossible’ thing kills him?”
“Yes…” The louder voices in my head quieted down to listen. (Bear with me, I promise that I don’t talk to myself through this whole story.)
“Well, how I got here is irrelevant. Even if I’m not here and this is a dream, that is irrelevant too. What matters is what I do now that I am here.” Finally, I can say that my brain was firing on all cylinders. I wasn’t going to freak out; I wasn’t going to let my screaming brony side out. I was simply not home anymore. Now what?
A good place to start would be where I was.
“If this really is Equestria…” I breathed softly, “then this place bears an unfortunate resemblance to the Everfree Forest.” My eyes darted around even more urgently. As a human from Earth, I was used to wild animals, unruly plants and uncontrollable weather, but those weren’t the only things that made the Everfree an undesirable place to live. This was the realm of timberwolves, cockatrices, Steve Magnet, and (I think) something called a cROCKodile. Ponies avoided this place like the plague.
“Then again, Zecora seems to live pretty comfortably in these parts.” I mused. Not only that, but the Everfree was close to Ponyville. I never saw a canonical map, but I was pretty sure that the forest was just south of the hamlet of colorful ponies.
At this point, the brony inside me shook with excitement. My knees even knocked together. Here I was, given the opportunity that thousands of bronies (and pegasisters, if you distinguish between the two) could only dream of. I could meet the main cast, actually talk to some of the background ponies, and even explore iconic landmarks! I bit my fist to keep from cheering. The My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic series got me though some dark days in the past, and I was happy to consider myself a loyal fan, but I didn’t want to think about that now. I was here, in Equestria.
A sudden thought hit me. I held my hands out in front of me and frowned at them. Fingers. Not hooves and fetlocks, but fingers and palms. I was still human. Which wasn’t a bad thing, aside from the fact that I was probably the only human in the world. That might get awkward, though. Especially if I couldn’t find out how to get back to Earth.
Another thought hit me like a cold fish, trying to bring my runaway train of thought back on its tracks,
“Not only do you have an idea of where you are, but of when, too.” My eyes turned back up to the moon above me. Plain at the nose on my face, there was no mistaking the shadowy craters marring the moon’s surface like a black cancer. That dark mark clearly meant that I had arrived somewhere between Luna- Nightmare Moon’s banishment and the events of Season 1, Episodes 1 & 2. Which didn’t make sense to me because I had seen the end of Season 4. If Equestria was a real place and if that’s where I was now, why was I in the past?
Or… I could have been dropped into someone’s own retelling of the events of MLP:FIM. A fanfiction. The thought sent a shiver running down my spine like an icy ferret. There were plenty of fanfictions I had seen that I would rather not be trapped in, thank you very much.
Actually, the shiver running down my spine was also due to the fact that I was standing in the middle of a moist forest on a dark night in nothing but my pajamas. (Baggy flannel pants and a white cotton t-shirt that was almost too small for me.) Not exactly the stuff they recommended when I was in boy scouts.
For now, all other thoughts could wait. I had to get out of the forest. Slowly and cautiously, I began my barefoot trek through the woods in the direction I hopped was North.
I tried to focus on the path in front of me, keeping my ears open for any cockatrices and my nose open for any timberwolves, but I couldn’t concentrate for long. A mixture of excitement and dread was bubbling up inside me like soda from a shaken can. First, I was excited, because I had always wished for an adventure like this. I was the kind of kid who had checked every wardrobe, run toward every second star to the right, peered down every rabbit hole and probed every looking glass searching for something beyond the confines of everyday life. But there was dread, too. I was also the kind of person who liked to feel in control and if there was one thing that could rustle my jimmies, it was being abducted from my home via powers I didn’t understand to a place I knew little about for reasons I couldn’t fathom. Not having any shoes didn’t help, either.
Why couldn’t Equestria have a normal day/night cycle? On Earth, there was a definite East and West, dictated by the rising of the sun and moon, but all the memories I had of the MLP show portrayed the sun and moon rising from whatever horizon the directors thought looked artistic. An image of Twilight Sparkle juggling the moon in the Season 4 finale flashed through my mind. I could be walking in any direction for what I knew. In fact, in the dark labyrinth of the Everfree, I could have been wandering in circles.
I got the distinct impression that there were mountains to my right and left, leaving me and the Everfree forest sunk in some kind of valley, but it was only a hunch. I couldn’t properly see anything from my vantage point of alien shrubs and bizarre ferns. It may have been a trick of the light, but at one point, I thought I almost stumbled into a patch of poison joke. That certainly would have put me in a pickle. Figuratively, that is, but perhaps literally too…
At last, frustrated with aimless wandering and desperate to dry my cold toes, I reached up into the low boughs of a giant oak and swept myself up in its branches. If Bilbo Baggins had taught me one thing about cursed forests, it was that getting above the oppressive ceiling of trees should have been my first strategy. It wasn’t long until I could push aside the tender branches and look out over the bushy, whispering carpet that was the Everfree Forest. The view alone helped me forgive myself for not climbing a tree earlier.
It was Equestria, calm and silent under the starry sky. Straight from the computer screen, here was the world that I had always wished to visit and it was everything I dreamed it could be. From my perch, I found myself looking down a rugged valley clear towards the distant horizon. The trees seemed to end abruptly, giving way to a grassy land full of gracefully rolling, velvet hills. The land where Ponyville itself should be nestled. As if that wasn’t enough, I thought I could even catch a glimpse of Canterlot in the far distance, its thorny spires clinging to the side of a great mountain like a rose, letting loose silver waterfalls, like ribbons, into the valley below. Everything was so peaceful and still.
The sound of the breeze gently playing with the surrounding branches reminded me that I wasn’t safe yet. I was still sunk in the middle of the most shiver-inducing realm in all of Equestria in the middle of the night. There was no telling what bizarre creatures could be hunting me. Actually, as I clambered back down my tree to the ground, I found myself thinking that even the Everfree wasn’t as bad as the ponies in the show made it,
“Well, I’m not saying that I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.” I laughed to myself.
A hop, skip, and a jump, and a couple sore feet later, the forest died away completely. In one moment, I was pushing branches out of my face and goose-stepping over thorny bushes like a Nazi, and the next my weary toes alighted on silky fields of grass. I hardly noticed. I hardly noticed the encroaching forest standing behind me like the Great Wall of China; I hardly noticed the fact that I could see more than ten meters ahead of me.
All I noticed was Ponyville.
Once again, my brony side tried to jump for joy, but I wasn’t in the mood. Instead, I simply sank down to the grass and stared at it. A mixture of pride and satisfaction filled my chest, just like the first time I found Diamond Ore in Minecraft.
Under the night sky, the dozens of little huts were clustered like quail, waiting for the dawn. Their windows were twinkling like candlelight and the streets looked like frozen rivers of moonlight. It was the kind of scene that I wanted to capture in a snow globe, but I didn’t have to. I was there, sitting on a hill just above the little town.
“So, what now?” I eventually asked myself. “Go down and knock on the first door you find?” No. I couldn’t bring myself to do that. In all logic, a bipedal creature crawling out of the Everfree Forest in the middle of the night would probably cause more problems than it would solve.
“But you’re cold and sleepy.” A part of me protested. “I’m already done with the novelty of walking through a forest at night. Besides, aren’t the ponies supposed to be the most friendly and hospitable creatures in the whole wide world of fiction?” Perhaps, but I still didn’t want to take advantage of their hospitality or spook anypony.
I decided that I would visit the town in broad daylight. Try to look at least threatening as possible. Sure, I was 99.63% certain that there was no reason for anypony to fear a lone human, but I didn’t want to take any chances. After all, there was an entire wing of the fanfiction library devoted to humans being captured or imprisoned by ponies. I decided to play it safe. Thus, I tucked my knees up into my chest and waited while the moon rose higher and higher above me.
From my perch, I could see that Ponyville was unusually active. Doors opened and released orange light onto the street like flickering fireflies. Dark shapes trotted down the silvery streets and almost every hut was adorned with wispy white, orange, and purple banners. It seemed unusual to me until I realized that all of the dark shapes were making their way to a tall domed structure. A giant gazebo.
I suddenly leapt to my feet. My legs, which had just fallen into a well-deserved sleep, tingled in protest. My eyes, however, were locked onto the large building. If I wasn’t sadly mistaken, I was witnessing Ponyville during the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration. And, (my tired mind reasoned), there was only one Summer Sun Celebration that really mattered to the show’s plot. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled with excitement.
I could be witnessing the very night of Nightmare Moon’s return! How cool was that!? Forget the TV! Forget the Oculus Rift! Forget any immersion technology! I was actually here! I could actually watch the events of that fateful night unfold for myself! This could be the best dream I ever had! (Yes, some part of me was still wondering if this was a dream.) Around me, the grass seemed to grow brighter than ever under the full glimmer of the moon.
“It might not be…” I tried to tell myself, my heart beating out a samba in my chest, “but if this is THAT night, then…” My eyes cautiously swept behind me. I looked up at the moon. But nothing looked back at me. The great orb’s surface was pale and smooth.
I could have given myself whiplash with how quickly my attention turned back toward the Gazebo below. Its windows shone with orange light, the soft murmur of hundreds of ponies could barely be heard and all was still. But not for long.
“Well? Should I try to get closer? I would hate to miss anything.” I thought out loud. Still, my reservations held me back. It wasn’t like I could show up with a folding chair and a bucket of popcorn and say, “don’t mind me, I’m just here for the show.” That would just be rude to everypony. Especially those who were about to get scared witless. Not to mention, I would hate to butt into a villain’s grand entrance.
As if on cue, all the windows of the gazebo darkened at once. The air grew chilly and the trees whispered restlessly. A muffled cry of surprise rose from the valley below. One voice rose above all the others, mighty and commanding, yet barely more forced than a whisper,
“Oh… my beloved subjects… It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious, little sun-loving faces!” The sound seemed to come from everywhere at once. Nightmare Moon was back.
“Squee!” I bit my fingers to contain my excitement, but it didn’t work. “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! What could I have possibly done to deserve this?” I consider myself a logical and level-headed person, but I also enjoy letting go of all propriety every once in a while. This qualified as one of those times.
Beneath me, the gazebo looked like an inky snow globe. Black clouds laced with stars swam against the glass like a hurricane. I knew that inside Nightmare Moon was probably reveling in her return and Twilight was probably explaining who the black mare was. If I remembered correctly, however, Nightmare Moon’s return was rather repressed for a villain of her legacy. Aside from a few lightning bolts, nothing really happened.
Suddenly, the entire gazebo erupted like a can of snakes. The roof vanished in a wave of splinters and timbers and a swirling storm of blue clouds rose into the night sky, casting off forked lightning. A second later, I heard the explosion,
“Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa!” Through the churning aura, I could barely catch a glimpse of a black silhouette of a nightmare rising into the sky. No light reflected off its coat, but its pale blue armor and lantern-like eyes glowed like cold fire. Its sleek wings seemed to churn the entire atmosphere as the figure laughed manically.
“Huh… I don’t remember that. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve seen this episode.” I tilted my head thoughtfully, completely unthreatened by the magic storm cell rising higher and higher into the heavens.
“Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last! From this moment forth, the night will last FOREVER!!” Hearty cackling ensued.
Of course, a small fleet of white pegasi in golden armor rose from the remains of the gazebo. Their princess was missing and her ancient foe of legend was standing in her place, mocking them. I knew it was their duty, but I had to applaud them for their courage. Nightmare Moon looked less like a horse and more like a vortex you could fly the TARDIS through. It was quite spectacular to watch, really.
In a blaze of shimmering lightning, the pegasi were blown back, wings burnt and armor flickering with the nightmare’s fire. With her laughter echoing off every hill and rooftop, Nightmare Moon vanished. Her aura snaked through the sky until it was lost behind the horizon.
“Wooah!” I cheered, clapping my hands. I was trembling with excitement and my grin could have hurt the cheeks of the Cheshire Cat. It was an entirely different experience between watching a TV show and living it. Nightmare Moon’s presence had been overwhelming, almost physically tangible. Even from my perch on the outskirts of Ponyville, I could feel her magic coursing through the air in my very marrow. She had shone like a lighthouse of shadows. (As if that makes sense.)
But I had to bring myself down from my emotional ‘high’ and decide what to do next. Even now, my eyes caught a glimpse of a little cyan pegasus hovering above Ponyville where the nightmare had been only moments before. Beneath it, the streets were filling with the shadowy figures of panicking ponies, some crying, some helping move debris from the gazebo, and others simply running home to lock their doors and hide from their fears. Among them was a tiny purple unicorn running as fast as it could toward a giant house-tree. My heart swelled to see them, but I had to suppress my emotions once again,
“All right, think! Think!” I told myself. “Any moment now, the Mane Six are going to delve into the spooky forest, fight their way to the Castle of the Two Sisters and reclaim the Elements of Harmony! What are you going to do?” The answer seemed obvious; I was going with them. All thoughts of sleep were gone now. I wasn’t going to cross time and space and fiction and reality to miss an opportunity like this. I was going to see the climax of this episode! But I needed a plan.
I had already decided that keeping out of sight would be the best strategy. I was only an observer and could in no way alter or influence the characters in any way. This story had a happy ending, after all, and I didn’t want to muck that up. There was also the off chance that I was a disembodied ghost and that I couldn’t change the story if I wanted to, but the chill breeze on my shoulders reminded me that I was still going on the theory that I was actually here.
With no more ado, I began circling Ponyville until I found a little line-in-the-dirt road that plunged into the heart of the Everfree Forest. Then I hid and waited like my own private paparazzi ambush.
Everything seemed still, but restless. The night sky had taken on a distinctly more blue hue and even the occasional curious insect that crawled by seemed to keep its head down. Everything was feeling the effects of Nightmare Moon’s return. Of course, if I were a megalomaniacal pony villain, I’d want everyone to know I was in charge too. Eventually, my patience was paid off. At first, there was a distant sound, like a spring or Pepe Le Pew, growing louder and louder. Then, six colorful little equines came into view.
In my makeshift hiding place under a fern, I could watch as each character came into view. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and, leading them all, Twilight Sparkle. They were so close; I could have thrown a rock at any of them. Not that I would, of course! They were far too adorable as they cautiously crept forward, eyes wide at the sight of the line of dark trees.
“The Everfree Forest.” Twilight whispered. Above her, craggy boughs reached out like withered hands. The path before her hooves was rough, uneven, almost completely overgrown, and slithering with wispy fog. It was plain to see the uncertainty on each pony’s face. This was the realm of nightmares and monsters. Of course, Pinkie Pie was the one to break the mood,
“Whee! Let’s go!” She cheered. Personally, I always wondered if that super-squeaky voice ever hurt Andrea Libman’s throat.
“Not so fast!” Twilight’s stern voice froze the pink pony mid-stride. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but I’d really rather do this on my own. I don’t know what I’m going to find in there and this evening already has enough injured ponies.”
“No can do, sugar cube!” Applejack’s heavy hooffalls trotted forward as if to enunciate. “We sure ain’t letting any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone.” The earth pony glanced behind her, “We’re sticking to you like sugar on a candy apple!”
“Ooh!” Pinkie Pie unfroze. “Especially if there’s candy apples in here! Applejack, do you think this is where we can find a candy apple tree?” Twilight frowned at the pink pony. “What? Those things are good!” As lightly as a feather, Pinkie Pie trotted into the heart of the forest. After a grimace and a sigh, Twilight Sparkle began walking too.
“What could possibly go wrong?” I thought I heard her whisper.
Soon, the ponies were completely engulfed by the forest.
As for myself, I uncurled my stiff limbs with all the finesse of a transformer robot and crept out of my hiding place. The sounds of hooffalls were barely audible, punctuated by the sound of a spring. So far, everything has seemed pretty cannon. I had no idea how long it would be until their first trial, but I knew that I probably had a long and impossibly exciting night ahead of me. For the first time since landing here, I found myself glad that I was barefoot. In a world of hoof-footed animals, the padded foot man is ninja!
All I had to do was follow the sounds of voices and avoid Rainbow Dash’s watchful eyes and I would be invisible. Completely harmless to the story. To my surprise, however, a non-cannon conversation started up. I strained my ears to listen,
“So… None of you have been in here before?” Twilight asked skeptically.
“Ugh! Heavens, no!” Rarity recoiled. “I mean, just look at it! It’s dreadful.”
“Then why did you come along?” The purple unicorn asked pointedly. Rarity sidestepped a patch of moss and grimaced,
“Beg pardon?”
“I have a duty to the Princess.” Twilight Sparkle explained. “She’s missing and her kingdom is in danger so I have to do all I can to help her restore order. That is, assuming she’s not imprisoned somewhere. But I don’t want anypony else to be in danger, so why are you here? Why did a pony like you come along, Rarity?”
“A pony like me?” The white unicorn echoed, sounding hurt.
“Ooh! Ooh! I know! Pick me!” Pinkie Pie waved a hoof high in the air.
“Everything all right, Twilight?” Applejack asked cautiously. Twilight Sparkle slowly looked around at the ring of faces.
“And I’m not just asking Rarity,” She continued, “this isn’t a walk through the park. This place is dangerous, I can feel it. Nightmare Moon could come out and attack us at any time!”
“Yeah, and it always feels like somepony is watching you…” Rainbow Dash agreed. I instinctively lowered my eyes at that point.
“Then why risk it?” Twilight finished, tilting her head ever so slightly. Fluttershy rubbed her foreleg while the others gazed at the purple unicorn with confusion riddling their face.
“Perhaps it’s because I am a pony like me.” Rarity lifted her chin decidedly.
“Excuse me?”
“Well, I’ll admit that I shouldn’t have worn my good shoes, these are going to get all scratched up, but I for one couldn’t stand by while there was something I could do to help everypony feel safe again. It’s simply not in my nature!”
“That’s… quite a self-sacrifice…” Twilight frowned thoughtfully.
“Is there something wrong with that?” Rarity pressed. “Though if you’re worried about your hooves cracking, I can completely relate…”
“Hey! We’re like twinsies!” The pink pony cheered.
“Pinkie Pie?”
“Just like Rarity said, it’s not like I could do nothing. That would be like doing not doing something and the whole universe would turn into a doughnut! With sprinkles!!”
“What does that even-” Twilight tried to ask.
“There were too many frowns!” Pinkie Pie explained. “Queen Meanie didn’t make one pony smile. Not one! And let me tell you, sister, that’s not going to fly while I’m the smile sheriff of Ponyville!” With a flourish, the pink pony donned a Stetson, a gold star and a mustache.
“Give that here!” Applejack snatched her hat back off of Pinkie Pie’s cotton candy head. She tugged it firmly over her mane and faced Twilight Sparkle.
“I mean what I said about ya bein’ our friend, sugar cube. But you don’t need to worry your pretty little head about us. We’re not about to let anything happen to you or us or any other pony if’n I have anything to say about it and that’s a promise. Things are only going to get worse if’n that Nightmare Moon keeps the sun down like a darned nut job. An’ besides all that, everypony knows you can’t grow food at night. What’s that gal think we’re gonna eat with her in charge? Mushrooms?”
“Hmm… Mushroom cupcakes…” Pinkie Pie frowned in thought. I didn’t even want to know what affront to all things good and decent was running through the pink pony’s twisted mind.
“What about me? I’m not going to let Nightmare Moon get away with this either!” Rainbow Dash swooped down, not to be outdone by AJ. “I’m not letting that tyrant threaten us like it’s no big deal! She’s got to learn who she’s dealing with and there’s no way I’m letting my friends go into this forest without the future captain of the Wonderbolts to keep them safe!”
“Oh please, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity waved a hoof, “We all know that you just couldn’t stand to be left behind if Applejack was willing to go.”
“That’s not true!” The blue pegasus fumed. “Remind me who it was who chased Queen Meanie away from the gazebo. We pegasi are faithful to a proud heritage and will never leave our friends in time of need! Right, Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash swept the pink-maned pony up and hovered over the rest of the group. The little yellow pony looked down at the ground.
“Um… Yes… But I’m also here because of all the cute little animals in Ponyville. What will they do without the sun? How will the birds see where they’re going?”
“Ugh! What about us? How are we going to see where we’re going?” The blue pegasus reminded.
“Oh… right…”
With no other objections, Twilight turned and the group continued its march through the forest.
All this time, I had been enjoying this extra dialogue. Of course, I found myself wondering why I didn’t recognize it from the show, but I simply chalked it up to the fact that the cannon episode was edited or abbreviated to fit into its time slot. If I ever made it back to Earth, I would have to try and remember the major points of the dialogue. Perhaps write a fanfiction. However, the main point that I got from this was the fact that every pony had a reason to be in this forest. Each one, though coming from different angles, was willing to put their own lives in danger to keep their friends and family safe. Each and every one of these little mares was a hero deep down.
I shook myself out of my musing just in time to witness Nightmare Moon’s first trial for My Little Heroes. The trees, (well, half the trees), gave way and the air felt more open and free, but that was because a massive gulch suddenly yawned like an abyss to our right.
“Very well, then, we should get organized.” Twilight was saying. “What DO we know about this forest? Anything?”
“It’s in serious need of some trimming.” Rarity sniffed.
“And I haven’t seen any little critters.” Fluttershy whimpered into her hoof.
“Only that it just ain’t natural.” Applejack concluded. “Folks say it don’t work the same as Equestria.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Twilight’s ears flicked behind her to catch what the orange mare was saying.
“Nopony knows…” Rainbow Dash floated out of the shadows of a nearby tree. Her voice was laced with more than a little glee. “Want to know why?” She asked sinisterly.
“Rainbow, quit it!” Applejack scolded. The pegasus ignored her, crawling towards Fluttershy like a panther.
“Hehe! ‘Cause every pony who comes in. Never. Comes. Out!” The pegasus’s delivery was spot-on, perfect for telling stories around a campfire, but her audience didn’t get a chance to appreciate it.
In that moment, a clap, like a gunshot, pierced the still forest air. The entire mountainside that the ponies were standing on shrugged like a living giant and began sliding into the hungry mouth of the canyon. From my vantage point, I could only hear their cries of surprise before their bodies were obscured by dust.
I had to give it to Rainbow Dash, her reflexes were quick. I was even expecting the landslide and the blue pegasus reacted faster than I did,
“Fluttershy! Quick!” She commanded, streaking down into the canyon.
“Ohmygoodness! Ohmygoodness!” The little yellow pegasus followed.
Pinkie Pie and Rarity were gaining speed, but were mostly free from the cloud of dust. They were caught first, swept off the treadmill of death and lowered to safety. Poor Fluttershy flapped her wings as hard as she could, but could barely slow down Rarity’s descent.
The plot element, however, was still happening up hill. From the cover of an overgrown tree, I searched for any sign of AJ and Twi. I saw the unicorn first. Twilight Sparkle was hanging onto a rocky precipice for dear life, half swallowed by the abyss and covered mane to tail in grey dust. Her shivering hooves dug desperately at the cold rocky slope.
I knew how the story ended and even I felt a little scared for Twilight. Fortunately, Applejack was right on cue.
“Hold on! I’m a-commin’!” The once-orange earth pony was as grey as Maud, but her green eyes shone with fear for her friend. She braced herself against the rock and hooked Twilight’s panicking forelegs with her hooves.
“Applejack!” The unicorn’s voice cracked.
“I gotcha! I gotcha! You’re safe now. Just like I promised.” Applejack tried to comfort Twilight. Slowly, the purple unicorn’s hind legs stopped beating at the air.
“All’s well that ends well.” I smiled and let myself have a sigh of relief. However, there’s no way I could have predicted what happened next.
Crack!
My eyes darted back up the hill. Another boulder had just broken (or had been broken) loose and was now falling toward the two precarious ponies. It hit the hillside with the sound of thunder and slid down the slope like a five-ton battering ram.
“That’s not right…” My mouth fell open.
“Applejack!” Twilight’s voice rang through the night air. When she answered, Applejack’s voice was almost too quiet to hear.
“Let go.” She smiled. “I promise you you’ll be safe.”
“I can’t!” The unicorn stammered.
“I’m not lying. We’re both getting out of this safely, but first you have to trust me.” The megalith was gaining speed. For an instant, Twilight closed her eyes, in the next, a fresh wave of dust and stone obscured the scene. There was a scream and the massive boulder tipped into the embrace of the canyon, but I couldn’t see what happened.
Finally, after a two-second eternity, the familiar shapes of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy could be seen. Between them hung the shivering form of Twilight. Nearby, Applejack was cautiously making her own way down into the canyon. If only I could have felt as happy at Rarity and Pinkie Pie in that moment. Instead, all I could say was,
“That’s not right… There wasn’t a second landslide.” I spun around and leered into the surrounding trees as if Nightmare Moon was gleefully taunting me. “What the hell was that?” I asked the trees and fog. There was no reply. I was feeling very rustled and my hands clenched and unclenched themselves, but I forced myself to take deep breaths and calm down. Obviously, this was a more raw and slightly extended version of the TV show I knew and loved. No need to panic. It was merely another way to tell the same story. After all, everything turned out the same way, right?
Right?
Beneath me, Rarity was brushing the last of the dust off of Twilight Sparkle while Pinky Pie and Rainbow Dash reenacted the events of the rescue. It may have been my imagination, but the purple unicorn seemed to stare intently at Applejack, who casually dusted off her hat and planted it back on her head. Her freckled face was smeared with sweat, but her eyes smiled reassuringly at Twilight Sparkle.
“I guess we just need to find the trail again.” Twilight got to her hooves and flicked a rock out of her tail. “Any ideas?”
“And then I was like, whoosh, and loop-the-loop, and,”
“Rainbow! I know how the story goes, I was there! Do you have any idea how we can-”
“Sure!” The cyan pegasus was still bubbling with excitement. “Just follow this canyon down and you’re golden! I think it gets back to the trail. At least, it looked like it from up there.” Rainbow Dash pointed back up the hill. The group nodded to each other and slowly began walking away, down the canyon. I had to get moving, too, if I didn’t want to miss anything.
The second trial was about to begin.
Fighting vertigo, I clambered down the remains of the rocky slope, careful not to dislodge any more rocks or make any other unnecessary noise. It was easier said than done. I never got a nickname as a kid, but ‘Monkey’ would have fit nicely, and I’m not talking about my awkward big-ear phase. I was the kind of kid who climbed on the parts of the jungle gym that you weren’t supposed to climb on and every birthday was religiously celebrated at the local indoor climbing gym. None of those, however, involved free-climbing over the edge of a Grand Canyon wannabe. I found myself ruefully wondering at how AJ, a creature with no fingers, made this look so easy.
By the time my feet reached the grassy floor below, I had reached my workout goal for the day and had earned a couple more pieces of evidence saying that I wasn’t dreaming: blisters. For a fleeting second, I almost wanted this to be a dream. At least then I could fly and turn invisible and magically conjure up a cup of hot chocolate. (With cinnamon.)
A distant roar flooded the canyon like a rising tide. Picking up my feet, I dashed toward the sound, hoping that I wasn’t too late. Fluttershy was about to stare down a manticore, after all.
I skid around a craggy corner and almost ran into Pinkie Pie’s flank. As gracefully as a drunken giraffe, I hastily backstepped and dove into the shadow of a nearby boulder. The manticore’s roar rose again into the night air. It sounded only slightly enraged and incensed. No big deal.
With its jaws awash in saliva and its eyes wild with a burning hatred, it lanced out its paw toward Rarity. The unicorn ducked just as the manticore’s claws split the air above her and she instinctively countered with a crisp kick to the monster’s jaw.
“Take that, you ruffian!” She sneered. A hearty roar almost sent her tumbling backwards, showering her with saliva. Rarity flinched, “My hair! Eep!” The creature attacked again, only to be tackled by Applejack.
“Wait.” Fluttershy whispered. Nopony heard her. Even I didn’t hear her.
“Yee-Haw! Get along, little doggie!” The earth pony planted her hooves firmly around the manticore’s mane and held on for dear life. The lion-bat-scorpion spun like a dog chasing its tail, faster and faster, claws raking at its unwanted passenger. Instead of a roar, however, it gave a pitiful howl.
“Wait.” The yellow pegasus tried again.
“Whoa!” Applejack lost her grip and soared through the air like a trapeze aerialist. Without a moment’s hesitation, Rainbow Dash dove into the fray.
“I’m on it!” She shouted, her rainbow-colored tail blurring through the sky. In an instant, the manticore’s body began to vanish, trapped within the confines of a spinning prison that looked strangely like a ‘rainblow dryer’.
“Wait!” Fluttershy pleaded. She looked so desperate, reaching out to ears that didn’t hear her.
Bringing its mighty tail to bear, the manticore caught Rainbow Dash unawares and dashed her to the ground. The prison vanished and the cyan pegasus bounced across the ground like a rag doll.
“Rainbow!” Twilight gasped.
“Ow…” Rainbow Dash shakily stood to her hooves. With that, Twilight leered up at the monster. Her horn and eyes sparked with righteous anger. The manticore continued writhing, its eyes rolling in random directions, but its jaws called for war. Claws and hooves scuffed the dirt and teeth on both sides were barred. As if on cue, five ponies charged their adversary. (Well, four charged, one bounced.) Their hooves pounded out thunder into the little canyon.
“Wait!” Fluttershy dove in front of the line of charging ponies, her back completely exposed to the manticore. Twilight almost fell forward from her sudden stop.
“Fluttershy? What are you doing!?” She demanded. The yellow pegasus slowly turned around to face the monster.
“Shh… Please don’t shout at him, he’s so scared…” The manticore’s ears twitched at the soft voice. “He’s so scared…”
“And he should be!” Rainbow Dash held up her hooves angrily. But Fluttershy pretended not to listen,
“Shh… It’s okay.” She purred, inching closer to the manticore. It’s sides heaved and its coat glistened with sweat. Any other bystander would have thought that the white foam coming from the monster’s jaws was rage, not fear. As Fluttershy closed the distance between her and the big cat, it snarled and tried to back away threateningly. The little pegasus only nuzzled one of its forelegs.
I couldn’t quite see it during the battle, but the manticore was favoring its left foreleg. There were tangles of thorny vines, like acacia branches, curling around its paw and even reaching up into its mane. The thorns were biting into the sinewy limbs and a couple had even drawn tiny rivers of blood.
“Oh, you poor little baby…” Fluttershy cooed.
“Little?” Rainbow Dash echoed.
“Now, this might hurt for just a second…” The little yellow pegasus took the branches in her mouth and pulled.
A deafening scream split the night and the giant creature pulled away. It suddenly swung around and buried the innocent little pony under its gaping jaws. The scream of the manticore was nothing compared to the scream of the other ponies.
“Fluttershy!!”
“Aww…” A dainty laugh floated through the air. “You’re just a little ol’ baby kitty, aren’t you?” Fluttershy appeared, gently scratching the giant cat’s chin. “Yes you are. Yes you are.” A giant raspy tongue combed the little pegasus’s long mane and the sound of purring, like a jackhammer, vibrated through the ground. Soon, the manticore nuzzled the little pony one last time and limped back into the shadows of the forest. Fluttershy, her mane slicked high like a sail, gestured for the other girls to join her. They cautiously trotted forward.
“How did you know about the thorns?” Twilight asked. Fluttershy tilted her head,
“I didn’t. But he wasn’t being mean; he was only scared and needed a little kindness. I’m just glad I was able to help a big softie like him.” Rainbow Dash grimaced, but didn’t say anything. Twilight stared after Fluttershy for a moment before continuing to trot along the forest path. The canyon walls had surrendered, vomiting the crusaders back into the thick of the forest, but there was still a long ways to go before they would see the ruins of the Castle of the Two Sisters. Also known as Nightmare HQ.
However, while the others were quietly trotting off, I remained as still as a weeping angel. I didn’t dare budge, didn’t make a sound until the thorns that had tormented the manticore dissipated into inky aura. They finally did, burning with clouds of star-flecked smoke until they had completely vanished. Only after the churning wisps vanished over the tree line did I dare to crawl from my brilliant hiding place. If Nightmare Moon knew I was shadowing the little pony’s progress like she was, she wasn’t showing her hand. For now, that was fine with me.
An image of Inspector Jacque Clouseau flashed in my mind as I pursued the Mane Six. Here I was, hopelessly out of my element, yet trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Perhaps I would be better off with a newspaper and a Groucho Marx mask instead of my blazing-white t-shirt and hopelessly pale skin. The combination brought a dry chuckle out of me. My feet, however, had gone completely numb and weren’t in any mood for jokes.
I had already admitted to myself that I hadn’t watched Season 1 of MLP for a while, but it was only now that I started to feel the impact of that. Sure, I knew the major events that had to happen, but like a mountain climber that hadn’t brought enough rope, I had reached the end of what I knew about Episodes 1 & 2. I didn’t know what trial came next.
The cliff and the manticore were easy enough to remember, because you couldn’t have the manticore in a canyon without first getting into the canyon. That only left Steve Magnet, the Giggly Ghosties and the Shadowbolts to sort out. Of course, the Shadowbolts happened on the doorstep of the Castle, so those came last. That only left the light-in-the-loafers sea serpent and the over-the-top Halloween decorations. (Don’t laugh. I actually have a neighbor who does that for Halloween.)
I nodded to myself, fairly convinced that they happened in that order, too. I readied my body for the sound of a churning river any second now. As I walked, the light of the moon seemed to fade and the shadows swelled like a hungry abyss. I could barely see my hand in front of my face. I was sure that any second now, I would walk smack dab into a tree like a ninny.
Suddenly, I stopped. My throat tightened and my eyes went wider than they already were. My heart began racing, forcing hot sweat to anoint my forehead. Something clutched my chest, squeezing the air out of my lungs. Something powerful. Something sinister. Something that I never expected to find in Equestria,
Fear.
The back of my neck went sticky with moisture and I tried to force myself to take deep even breaths, but my lungs only shivered in response. I brought up my hand to my chest, as if I could take away the weight that was pulling me to the ground, but even my fingers trembled and moved like lead. I was afraid, the kind of fear that seizes you when you wake up at night for no reason, the kind of fear that makes you feel alone and you forget that your family or friends are sleeping only one room away.
Terror.
“Alone…” A pitiful whisper escaped my trembling lips. “No… Don’t leave me… here…” My eyes stared into space, but saw nothing. Nothing, but an encroaching darkness, a force, a presence, pushing in on every side of me. It was laughing, shrieking in glee, whispering,
“Alone…”
“… Alone…”
“You have always been alone…
“And you always will be…”
“No!” I tried to pull my head up, tried to keep walking, but my knees gave out and I collapsed to the forest floor. I tried to grit my teeth, but they were chattering.
“… What are you doing?” The voices in my head taunted, whispering like oil in my ear. I couldn’t block them out. They were inside me, a part of me. Fear.
“Did you think we were gone?”
“How can we be gone when we are you, little one…”
“No!” I repeated. “I left you behind! I told you to leave… I’m not listening to you anymore!” My voice choked up and hot tears stung my eyes. My old enemy, the voices that whispered lies to me while I slept, had returned from my teenage nightmares,
Depression.
Guilt.
Failure.
Loneliness.
Loathing.
“Free?” The voiced bared their teeth. I could almost feel them licking my ears. “Why do you run? We only want to tell you the truth…”
“You have no friends!” One hissed, sending a sting of pain into my chest.
“You have no career!” Another taunted.
“You couldn’t even finish a simple college degree and now you’re failed your family!”
“You’ve wasted time!”
“Your life is running out!”
“Who could ever love you?”
“You’re a burden on everyone around you!!”
“You’ve failed everyone! Even-”
“Don’t say it!” I pleaded,
“Yourself!!” The accuser cut me to the core.
I collapsed, a pitiful ball of wasted flesh, desperately clutching my ears to keep my own thoughts out. There was truth to their words, there always was, and that’s what hurt the most.
It’s true, I didn’t make friends easily. What friends I made in grade school moved away when I was young and I never replaced them. High school was lonely, but my family was always with me and then my first classes at community college taught me how to be independent. I could stand on my own, achieve good grades, work with people.
But it was so lonely.
I never had anyone I could call ‘friend’. No shoulder to cry on, except for my family and I rarely gave up my image as the ‘strongest child’ to resort to that. And then, I failed even them. I couldn’t drift through life on community college classes. The sidewalk, the route of well-paved guidelines, was ending and I needed to make big life choices. I needed a dream, but I had none. I didn’t even graduate with a degree.
A man without dreams.
Aside from making Disney’s ‘Tangled’ impossible to watch without crying out of self-pity, having no dream meant that I was vulnerable to depression. I turned against myself. Why couldn’t I be stronger? Why couldn’t I have friends? A life, a hope, a desire? I had failed the last friend I had; the man in the mirror. Myself.
The last time I had heard these voices was on a dark night, alone, crying into my pillow so that no one could hear me. I finally decided that I wasn’t going to let the voices win. I would ignore them, they weren’t helping anything, and I would try to hold my head high and carry on as best I could. If anything, all I had was the forgiveness of myself. I would grow and be someone special to someone special so that no one else had to experience the void and the fear that I had walked through alone.
I won’t lie. Ponies helped remind me that I was important, even to people that I hadn’t met yet. They were a candy-colored nightlight to keep the teeth of depression away. A little girl’s show, the most unlikely of places, and yet because of something as silly and simple as that, I didn’t dread going to sleep at night or getting up every morning.
But now, they were back. My worst fears, the monsters that hid in the corner of my eye, the teeth that snarled at me from behind my eyes. I would never be rid of those fears and the helplessness that coiled around me like clammy tentacles, but I had silenced them years ago. Why were they here? Now?
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t swallow. My limbs were locked in a fetal position as the voices of my own mind gently raped my brain.
At that time, a tiny sound pierced the darkness. A musical ringing, like rain dancing on the surface of a lake.
It was a laugh.
The sound continued and my eyes came back into focus. Even the voices in my head paused to listen. The laugh turned to a giggle, then a guffaw, and then there was a sound like someone rolling their tongue in their mouth.
“Pinkie!? What are you doing? Run!” Somewhere in the distance, Twilight Sparkle called out.
“Oh, girls, don’t you see?
When I was a little filly and the sun was going do-own,”
“Tell me she isn’t.” Twilight murmured.
“The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me fro-own!”
“She is.” Rarity sighed.
From my vantage point in the mud, I couldn’t see anything physical, but I could almost see my fears as if they were still standing above me. Pinkie Pie’s song, however, pulled them away from me like ticks from a wound. I could feel them growing smaller and smaller, melting away like a villain from an Indiana Jones movie.
“Sooooo, giggle at the ghosties!
Guffaw at the grossly!
Crack-up at the creepy!
Whoop-it-up with the weepy!”
I shakily pulled myself onto my arms and knees. The weight that had held onto my heart like a claw was gone. I could stand again.
“Chortle at the kooky!
Snortle at the spooky!
Andtellthatbigdumbscarryfacetotakeahikeandleaveyoualoneandifhethinkshecanscareyou,thenhe’sgotanotherthingcommingandtheveryideaofsuchathingjustmakesyouwanna-Ahhahahahaha-ha-*squeak*
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!”
A chorus of pony giggles flooded the forest, washing away the last of the darkness and bringing light back to the Everfree. Even I began to laugh, a nervous chuckle, more of a sense of relief from my terrors than something genuinely funny. Once again, My Little Ponies had been that one small voice in a storm of depression and self-doubt. A little whisper telling me that everything was going to be OK. I held onto that whisper like a precious gem.
My hand clenched into a fist and I stuffed it in my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. I guess I got the trials mixed up after all. Pinkie Pie did her part beautifully, chasing back the Nightmare and saving all her friends.
And me.
The ponies were still giggling to themselves until a distant rumble finally drowned out their voices. One final line of trees gave way before the group, and they found themselves standing on the banks of a frothy white river. Waves seemed to spring up like piranhas, casting mud and rocks in all directions. Between the waves, glistening purple scales could be glimpsed flashing in the moonlight.
“Enter, Steven Magnet!” I grinned and snapped my fingers. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have made any noise, but it wasn’t like the ponies could hear me, for in the next instant, I couldn’t even hear myself think. There was a tremendous wailing, like the unholy union of a fog horn and an air raid siren. It rose in pitch until the river frothed like mentos and diet coke. The ground pulsed like jell-o and leaves were shaken from the nearby trees. In a spout of water that reached to the stars above, the river’s great serpent unveiled itself, bawling in agony.
Steven, by the way, looked far more awe-inspiring in person than on the show. Here, I was expecting a tacky add-on character, a half-baked excuse for the ponies to go through another trial, but this creature rising high above me could have passed for a Chinese god. Water sheeted off of its glistening hide like veils of silver. His proud mane flared out behind him like the silken orange tail of a meteor and his jaws wailed with the force of a hurricane. It was obvious that this proud creature wasn’t happy, but he didn’t quite look like the distraught serpent I was looking forward to. He looked incensed.
“Excuse me, sir? Why are you crying?” Twilight shouted above the din of the river. Steven Magnet immediately locked his cold, glistening eyes on the little group. Great crocodile tears fell from them by the bucketful.
“You! Ponies! Is it not enough to disgrace me that now you’ve brought an audience!?”
“Disgrace?” Twilight Sparkle echoed. “What happened?”
“Don’t laugh at me!” The serpent bawled. “You were with that other pony just now, weren’t you?”
“Who?” Applejack wondered.
“A pony just like yourselves came to my lovely river and tried to cross with such audacity! And when I tried to make conversation, she used her magic and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off! And now I look simply HORRID!” True to his claim, only half of the hair on the river serpent’s face flowed in the wind. The other half was a ragged stump, like a barber’s brush that had seen better days. Crying in agony, Steven retreated back beneath the waves, sending the water into a boiling frenzy. A wave of mud escaped its banks and threw itself upon the ponies. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were less than impressed,
“Oh, give me a break.” The pegasus moaned.
“That’s what all the fuss is about?” Applejack lifted a critical eyebrow.
“Augh! How can you two be so insensitive?” Rarity stepped forward. “This isn’t just a tragedy, it’s an affront to decent culture!”
“But we don’t have time for decent culture.” Rainbow Dash spat.
“Do any of you see another way across this river?” Twilight spoke up. Nopony could answer that. The churning river might as well have been a minefield; one wrong step would send a pony to the great beyond. Even though she didn’t say anything, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy seemed wary of flying over anyway. No one wanted to risk insulting the serpent further.
This probably wasn’t one of my better ideas that night, but I saw a perfectly safe way across the river. Just downstream, an old tree had fallen, forming a rough and flimsy bridge that stretched 90% the way to the other side. To a pony’s eye, I suppose, the dead plant would look like a deathtrap. To a monkey-ninja like myself, however, it was a way to cross without introducing myself to any of the characters. (cough* Steven* cough!) While Rarity tried to sooth the distraught river serpent, I quietly excused myself.
“Such a proud creature, and so well-kept, too.” She smiled. Steven Magnet lifted his head above the water’s surface. “Such luminous scales, each one like royal purple obsidian!”
“Yes…” The serpent sniffed.
“And I love your expertly coiffed mane.”
“Oh, I know, I know.” If lizards could blush, this one would have rivaled Celestia with his glowing cheeks.
“Your fabulous manicure!” Rarity looked at her reflection in Steven’s polished iron claws.
“Gasp! It’s so true!” Steven Magnet flicked his wrist and arched his neck as if he were posing for the cover of ‘Deities Monthly’.
“All taken from you without the balance of your beautiful mustache…” Rarity bawled, nearing the verge of tears.
“It’s true! I’m hideous!” Cue the air raid siren.
“I simply cannot allow it!” The unicorn stamped her hoof. “I cannot allow such a crime against fabulosity to go uncorrected!”
“Rarity?” Twilight cautioned. Without replying, the white unicorn marched toward the serpent, righteous fire burning in her eyes.
“Hold still, my dear!” Her horn blazed with magic. There was a flash, and the serpents’ eyes shut defensively.
“Augh!” It cried as if it had been cut to the heart.
Rarity stood solemn and still on the river’s edge. Behind her, the silken hairs of her once magnificent tail drifted to the ground like ribbons. She caught them in her magic and guided them up to Steven’s astounded face.
“I know it’s not much, but please take it.” The white unicorn smiled. With her magic, the hairs fused to the stubble as if they had grown naturally. Steven Magnet’s eyes were wide with surprise. Slowly, they grew glassy with more tears. Honestly, he never seemed to stop crying.
“You did that?... For me?...” He choked up.
“Oh, Rarity… Your beautiful tail!” The other ponies trotted up to their friend’s side. The white unicorn glanced behind her as if surprised to see her tail gone. She blushed,
“Oh, it’s fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season. Besides… it will grow back…”
“So would the mustache.” Rainbow Dash whispered.
“Oh! My mustache!” The serpent leapt into the sky with a euphoric laugh. “My dear, your tail was the most lovely thing I had ever seen in my life! I couldn’t possibly accept-”
“You look smashing.” Rarity smiled up at her beaming friend.
“Please forgive me!” He bent down and wrung his claws, “I was completely beastly there for a moment. Please, at least allow me to make it up to you!” Steven Magnet stretched his glistening body over the whole length of the river like an alligator-skin bridge. Only it was serpent scales.
“Thank you so much!” One by one, the ponies trotted over the muddy water to the safety of the other side.
“Do visit me any time, my dear!” The serpent waved a claw happily. “And if you happen to see that tacky black pony again, be sure to give her a what-for from me!” With that final farewell, Steven sank back into the water and the river was instantly calm again.
Meanwhile, I had been off doing stupid stunts and getting soggy PJs. I crossed my own bridge without incident, mostly. Even with toes instead of hooves, I almost fell into the churning water of the river. Twice. After the second time, I resorted to scrambling along the slimy log Tarzan-style. Completely undignified and I’m glad no one I knew was watching. Even at the end, after a full 57 seconds of playing ‘don’t touch the water’, I had to jump the last five feet to dry land. Let’s suffice to say that I didn’t make it and found myself sloshing up onto the bank, cold and tired and hungry and wondering if Steven’s bridge would have been a better decision after all.
I quickly pulled my head out of my butt as I caught my first sight of something NOT a tree. It was a blocky pile of grey shapes, like an unfinished Lego project, but at least it wasn’t another blasted section of forest. It was the Castle of the Two Sisters. My heart soared and I dashed forward, eager to get the best seats in the house for the climax and finale! The other ponies would be right on my heels and the bridge would be out for Rainbow’s trial, but I had a plan, albeit a half-baked one.
I knew from other episodes that the Castle was surrounded by a deep gorge, like a dry moat and that there was a narrow path leading to the bottom of it. All I had to do was find my way down and then it would be another simple, harmless, heart-pounding rock climb to the top of the other side and I would be golden! No pegasi or rotting rope bridge for me. Hopefully, I would be able to cross the dry moat without getting sidetracked by the Tree of Harmony down there.
Or seen by Nightmare Moon.
The rope bridge was already out as I finally left the last branches of the Everfree Forest behind me. That made sense, of course. The rope bridge was probably the first thing the Mare of Darkness did after returning from the moon. Apparently, she couldn’t use the Elements of Harmony herself, being a creature of disharmony after all, but she could sure make it darn hard for everypony else to get to them.
As my feet alighted on the floor of the castle’s moat, a troubling thought hit me. Nightmare Moon was powerful, yes? She was cruel, proud, and even wounded Celestia during their first battle, right? Then how was the little ponies’ journey to the castle so easy? Why would Queen Meanie use her power to play these games with the Mane Six when she could probably obliterate them all with a flick of her horn?
“It’s a kid’s show, remember?” I had to remind myself. “Not reality.” That’s what I told myself, but my body had a hard time believing it. My fingers bled callous-juice and my feet bled normal juice by the time I had scaled the other side of the moat. I was covered in bruises and had forgotten what it meant to have warm feet as I walrus-ed myself out of the canyon, but my blood was pumping and I had just hit the peak of an adrenaline high, so nothing was going to stop me now.
A thick fog had rolled in, completely obscuring any view of the opposite cliff. I thought I could hear voices through the fog, probably Rainbow asking Twilight why she was running off so many cliffs, but I couldn’t see anything or enjoy it. I slunk off toward the dark silhouette of the castle, larger and more imposing than ever before, wondering if I was missing anything good.
The major points should still have been in place. Rainbow gets separated from the group, Nightmare Moon in the shape of the Shadowbolt team entices her against her friends by promising her her heart’s desire, and after that, Dash would gratefully turn down the offer. Simple, right? I could trust Rainbow Dash to do the right thing. That’s what loyalty was all about, right?
Right? I mean, the episode with the Mare-do-well wasn’t exactly full of her proudest moments. Rainbow Dash had a tendency to get a big head.
I shrugged and put a hand on the castle’s ancient wooden doors. Everything had worked out so far without my help. So why did I feel a need to oversee everything? Why couldn’t I shake the feeling that some things were different that shouldn’t be?
If Pinocchio had a pet wooden sheep, it might have made a sound similar to the castle’s doors. They creaked worse than a man with arthritis rocking in a cheap chair on the deck of a ship in the middle of a windy forest. But they worked. The hinges protested, but finally let me in to the realm of a bygone age. Time (and an epic battle between Celestia and Nightmare Moon) had done a number on this place. It was a miracle that some walls were left standing.
I had stepped into a massive cathedral that had once been made of polished marble, but had long since rotted away to a dull grey stone. Hungry vines from the forest were busy at work, turning the remaining walls and floor to dust while shattered pillars stood sentry like crippled soldiers. Everything was still in the moonlight, even flecks of dust hung in the air as if time itself had stopped. And there, in the center of the room, stood the dais.
It too had been completely overgrown, but instead of aging like the rest of the building, it seemed to be waiting. Waiting a thousand years for somepony to return and take up the Elements of Harmony again. Five cold stone branches, like arms, held out the five Elements like a guardian surrendering his charge.
It was lovely, but it wasn’t my final destination. I began to pace the floor, glancing out of the remains of the hall’s broken windows. Everything else of consequence that happened in this episode would happen in another room. A throne room, if I remembered correctly. Where Twilight and Nightmare Moon would have their face-off.
“So! Where to begin?” I rubbed my hands together and looked around. The ponies entered this chamber, that much was certain. They collected the stone orbs and left Twilight alone to experiment with them. Then they ran back, drawn by her cry and… And then I had nothing.  I remember some confusion, some panic and then somepony sees a light from a nearby tower. A nearby tower… This castle certainly had enough of them.
I walked past a window, paused, and then walked backward.
“That looks right.” I smiled to myself, holding my fingers out like a camera. There, framed in a glass-less window, were the ragged remains of a large tower. I only had a hunch, but if I imagined its windows glowing with a sinister light, it felt just like watching the show. It wasn’t too far off to the right of the Chamber of Elements and there was a stairway leading up to it.
“Congratulations, Sherlock!” I smiled to myself. “With a deer cap and a pistol-packing doctor sidekick, you could apply to the BBC in place of Cumberbatch.”
My game of deductions ended not a moment too soon. I could hear voices approaching. It sounded like Rainbow Dash had done the right thing after all,
“…I would never leave my friends hangin’.” She said proudly. I quickly picked up my feet and clambered out of a window just as the first ponies pushed through the doors into the great hall.
“Whoa… Come on, Twilight, isn’t this what you’ve been waitin’ for?” Applejack cheered.
“The Elements of Harmony…” The purple unicorn breathed, “We’ve found them!”
“Not exactly…” I snickered. The sound of my footfalls padding along the stone steps was little more than a whisper.
As I approached the second tower’s hall, I slowed my pace and cautiously peeked around the corner. It was a throne room all right. Nightmare Moon’s throne room. The walls were polished black and the pillars surrounding the floor looked dark and sullen. At the far end, a chair sat solemnly, like a judge. It was on a slightly raised platform, not unlike Celestia’s throne in Canterlot, but this one had deep purple cushions and an emblem of the moon hanging above it. Fortunately for me, it didn’t look like anypony was home.
Finally, I crept forward and hid in the shadows of one of the pillars. If everything worked out the way I thought it would, then this would probably be my last hiding place for the evening. If nothing worked out the way I thought it would, then God help me. It was the closest I’ve ever been to the story’s dangerous parts. Even still, I wouldn’t have traded this moment for the world. I nestled down in the darkness, pushed a piece of crumbling debris out of my way, and waited.
The seconds ticked by. I could hear whispers in the far distance, and then only silence. Nightmare Moon was biding her time, she seemed to be good at that, waiting for a moment to separate Twilight from her friends. All I could do was tuck my chin into my elbow and hold the floor down.
Finally, Nightmare Moon made her move. There was a strangled cry of surprise from the main hall and the rushing sound of wind. Even from where I sat, I could feel the nightmare’s power settle like a rock in the pit of my stomach. Or it was just butterflies of excitement. The dust on the cold floor rippled like water and the air was filled with the sound of roaring wind.
In a burst of purple haze, Twilight Sparkle appeared twenty feet from my hiding place, coughing, but unharmed. Her eyes widened as they looked at the dark throne. Nightmare Moon stood like an ebony statue, the five stone Element orbs held in space around her. She sneered at the little purple unicorn while her rising laugh filled the throne room. Her mane swirled like an icy tempest, filling the building with lightning and glowing darkly like a ghost flame.
Twilight quickly scrambled to her hooves and narrowed her eyes, steam pouring out of her nostrils. Not even the embodiment of nightmares could dissuade her from her quest to restore peace to Equestria. If anything, it gave the noble little unicorn a target. Her horn flickered to life and she pawed the ground restlessly.
Nightmare Moon stopped laughing and lifted an eyebrow,
“You’re kidding…” She scoffed. “You’re kidding, right?” Like autumn leaves, the Elements of Harmony floated to the ground. The nightmare’s armor glistened like an evening star, but Twilight Sparkle only gritted her teeth in defiance. The little unicorn’s horn lit up like a road flare and she charged at her foe. Rolling her eyes in annoyance, the dark alicorn accepted Twilight’s challenge. Her long black horn didn’t even begin to glow, but the air turned colder as she leveled it and began to run.
The sound of hooves echoed off the stone walls as the battle lines between twilight and darkness closed. There was a burst of pink light and Nightmare Moon was left alone, skidding to a halt with her eyes open wide in surprise. Behind her, Twilight Sparkle manifested at the foot of the throne, almost tumbling over her own hooves. She rubbed her horn and groaned. Around her lay the precious Elements of Harmony, waiting for her.
“Aww yeah! Score one for the heroine!” I was silently flipping out.
“Just one spark.” She pleaded, the air around her awash with magic light. “Come on. Come on!”
Nightmare Moon’s lips twitched with rage, revealing long pointed teeth. She reared up and surrounded herself with the twisting power of night. In an instant, she appeared in front of Twilight and lifted a black wing.
“Augh!” The little unicorn was knocked clear across the room like a tennis ball. The light on her horn was immediately snuffed, but the stone Elements continued to glow with an eerie light. They drifted a centimeter off the ground and tiny sparks of electricity could be seen leaping between them. Nightmare Moon’s pupils constricted in terror.
“No… No!” She stepped back uncertainly. Twilight allowed herself a small smile as the nightmare looked around in fright. In a few moments, however, the glow faded and the Elements returned to the ground. Everything in the throne room was still.
“But…” Twilight protested, “Where’s the sixth element?” As she spoke, Nightmare Moon’s laughter returned, slowly at first, but growing stronger and more wild.
“Ha-ha-ha… Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa!” With her muscles rippling through her shoulders, Nightmare Moon lifted her forefeet and brought them crashing down in the ring of stone orbs. A shockwave shook the air, blowing out the ancient windows and kicking me in the chest. With a gentle tinkling, the shards of the elements of Harmony clattered to the floor.
Twilight’s mouth fell open. Her eyes were wide and she had stopped breathing. She was hopeless. Few have known what it truly means to loose hope and in that moment, Nightmare Moon might as well have sent an icicle through Twilight’s heart. It would have been more merciful. At the sight of the ruined Elements on the floor, the little unicorn knew that everything she had fought for, everything her companions had fought for, had been for naught.
They were beaten.
“You. Little. Foal!” A snakelike tongue played behind the pointed teeth. “Thinking you could defeat ME!?” Pleasure bled into Nightmare Moon’s voice as she taunted the deflated little mare in front of her. She sighed, “I’m only disappointed that it came to this…”
Twilight didn’t answer. All strength had left her limbs. Something inside her had died. Perhaps she was thinking of Celestia, perhaps she was wondering what went wrong with the elements. Or perhaps she couldn’t think of anything with her despair blotting out everything else. She simply sat there.
“It was never my intention to harm my beloved subjects.” The nightmare hissed. “It was you who brought all this struggle upon them. I gave you every chance to turn back.” Twilight Sparkle didn’t respond, but Nightmare Moon continued, twisting every sentence into the mare’s heart like a knife,
“You feared the Forest, as you should have. Yet even when the canyon threatened to swallow you, your little band didn’t turn back.
So instead, I chose to give a face to the fear. Perhaps a manticore could warn you away from your pointless quest, but you didn’t listen to me.
I poured pure fear into your hearts, hoping that your own terrors would remind you of your place. You were supposed to respect me and you still shrugged off my guidance!
All I could do after that was make this fight personal. I incensed a guardian against you, a barrier who would never let you pass. Thus far should you have come, and then no further, but you didn’t even respect his power.
Finally, I appealed to your greatest wishes. The little Rainbow Dash has such high ambitions and they were so precious to her. You can imagine my surprise when she gave up all her hopes for something as silly as helping her companions.
But that brings us to where we are now.” Nightmare Moon’s eyes narrowed dangerously at Twilight Sparkle, “And I think I finally understand. Here, I only wanted to be loved by my subjects, to bask in their praise for liberating them from Celestia’s harsh sun, but something always kept me from them. Some poison in their hearts still separates me from their love.” The pointy teeth were bared. “It was you, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Me?” The unicorn whispered. “What did I do?”
I began to grow restless. All this extra dialogue was awesome, but the mood in the room was colder than a wendigo on Pluto drinking a slurpee. Nightmare Moon had finally stopped playing games and I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was thirsty for blood. The air was practically dripping with her malice.
“You,” The nightmare continued, “kept the spirit of rebellion alive. I should have known this was her plan all along! Celestia’s precious little student just so happens to arrive in Ponyville the night of my return? Just so happens to find a book pinpointing the location of the Elements of Harmony? Just so happens to rally my otherwise obedient subjects to rebel against me!? You played your part exactly as Celestia had orchestrated!” A black hoof knocked aside an Element shard, “But that’s all over now, isn’t it?”
“I… failed…” The light went out of Twilight Sparkles eyes. She seemed to have no will left to live. My own heart hurt to see her so defeated. But I couldn’t help her. I wasn’t a part of the story. Any second now, there was going to be a deus ex machina and everything would have a happy ending, right?
Right?
My fingers began to twitch.
“Yes…” Nightmare Moon stood over Twilight. “You and your poisonous princess have lasted this long, but you have failed. Now, there is only one last lesson I can give to my beloved subjects.” The nightmare’s large eyes lit up with dark ambition, “Your death will extinguish the last of Celestia’s light. The last of her devout rebels. There will only be me. There will only be darkness. And nopony will dare to lift her horn against me again!”
“Did she really say ‘death’!?” I thought incredulously. “She can’t do that! This show is rated TV-Y!”
However, my objections didn’t matter. I watched as Nightmare Moon slowly leveled her inky black horn toward Twilight’s neck and lift herself into the air, preparing for the final blow. The little purple unicorn looked up with tears in her eyes.
“NO!” Without thinking, I shed the cover of my hiding place and charged at the Mare of Darkness. In one motion, I swept a brick off the floor and hurled it towards Nightmare Moon with everything I had. The makeshift projectile flew like a dizzy sparrow toward the alicorn’s black head. A pale blue eye locked onto me, but the nightmare barely had to bat an eyelash to stop my attack.
“Hmmph!” She lifted a wing and swatted away the stone as if it were a gnat. Even that simple motion cast off a shockwave that kicked me in the gut and threw me onto my back. She had defended herself and neutralized me with one move. My head hit the ground with a crack.
“What do you think you’re-”
“Raaugh!” I rolled to my feet and tried to attack again. I needed to stop Nightmare Moon. I had to protect Twilight. All I needed were a few seconds. Just a few more seconds until the Mane Six could unleash their deus ex machina.
I didn’t start that evening thinking that I would be willing to die to protect a purple unicorn from a nightmare, but at that moment, it was all I could think of.
“Insect!” Nightmare Moon’s mane swept forward and hit me squarely in the chest like a truckload of gravel. The icy aura lifted me up and slammed me back against one of the stone pillars. My lungs itched as the air was smashed out of them and a trickle of something red and warm was coming out of my mouth. Worse than that, however, I could feel my vision fading. But I could still see Twilight, watching the one-sided fight with wide eyes. At least she didn’t have a death horn hanging over her anymore.
“Twilight? Twilight! Don’t worry, we’ll be there!” Distant voices drifted into the throne room. The sound of hooves grew steadily louder and their shadows moved down the corridor.
A slow smile spread across my face. I lifted a shaky finger and pointed at Twilight Sparkle. Only a single word made it out of my bloody mouth,
“… S-Spark...” I whispered.
“Huh!” Twilight gasped and suddenly, the light of life filled her eyes again. She turned toward the entrance of the throne room and stood up quickly.
“Enough!” The nightmare peeled my limp body off the pillar and cast me away into the far corner of the room. Her mane pulsed with vengeance and she lowered her horn threateningly.
“No…” Twilight Sparkle murmured.
“What?” The Mare of Darkness hesitated. The little purple unicorn turned to face her foe as her friends cautiously came up by her side.
“You think you’ve destroyed the Elements of Harmony just like that? Well, you’re wrong! The spirits of the Elements are right here!” A soft whisper, like wind through the trees, rose in volume and the Element shards at Nightmare Moon’s hooves trembled. They began to glow, but not with Twilight’s magic. A rainbow of colors glistened.
“What!?” Uncertainty once again tainted the nightmare’s face.
“Applejack, who told me the truth when she had every reason to lie to save herself from the landslide, represents the spirit of… Honesty!
Fluttershy, whose tender heart calmed the raging manticore, represents the spirit of… Kindness!
Pinkie Pie, whose joy can lighten even the heaviest hearts, represents the spirit of… Laughter!
Rarity, whose giant heart ached for the sorrowful serpent and gave him a meaningful gift, represents the spirit of… Generosity!
And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends even for her own heart’s desire, represents the spirit of… Loyalty!
The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us!” Twilight stared at the black alicorn, defiant and courageously.
“But you still lack the sixth element!” Nightmare Moon shouted. Perhaps it was my imagination, or perhaps I was losing consciousness, but it seemed to me as if Queen Meanie was suddenly very aware and very frightened of Twilight Sparkles’ cutie mark. “Your feeble spark didn’t work!”
“But there was a spark. A different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I heard their voices.” Twilight turned to face her companions. “I realized in that moment how much I cared about you all, how much you meant to me and how happy I was that you had found me… The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all… are my friends!” At the mare’s words, a star erupted above the ponies, casting harsh rays of white light over the stone floor. Nightmare Moon was forced to cover her eyes from its radiance as it settled over Twilight’s head. The black alicorn hissed in fear and anger.
“You see, Nightmare Moon, when those elements are ignited by the… the spark, that resides within each of us, it creates the sixth element. The element of Magic!”
A fiery light, like the warmth of the sun, blazed brighter than ever between the little ponies. The shards that had once been trampled under Nightmare Moon’s hooves were reforged, glowing with the spirit of each pony. The walls trembled and the throne behind the nightmare tottered as the ponies were lifted off their hooves into the air. The hum of magic pulsed like a song until the full power of the Elements reborn was unleashed. Their fiery colors sped like a rainbow toward Nightmare Moon and her courage completely failed under their onslaught.
“No! Noooo…” Her cries were drowned out by the cleansing might of the Elements of Harmony. A pure white light filled the room and shook me to my bones. When the light faded, I was standing on my feet.
I was the only soul who was.
On the floor, the ponies were strewn like flower petals. They looked rejuvenated and clean. A glimmering golden pendant hung on each pony’s neck, set with a massive crystal. All except for Twilight, of course, because she was ‘special’.
As for me, I worked my limbs and took a couple deep breaths. I was restored too. The blisters were gone from my hands and the cuts on my feet had vanished. I didn’t feel sleepy even though I had lost a good night’s sleep. And I didn’t feel hungry, which was a completely alien sensation to me. Even my clothes were clean and new. I looked around at the ponies with a sense of pride.
They had won. Everything worked out in the end. The first rays of a long-overdue sun were reaching into the windows and the tiny form of little Princess Luna lay huddled at the foot of the ruined throne. But my mind was still restless.
I had interfered. I had taken a perfectly good story and now it was no better than those ‘shameless self-insert’ fanfictions. (Actually, some of those are kind of good.) But what had really happened? What was so different that I felt the need to break the fourth wall?
Rainbow Dash pulled her front half up off the floor and rubbed her head. Instinctively, I ducked out of the throne room just as the other ponies were starting to wake up. Retreating was my only desire, at least until I knew what had just happened.
In a few seconds, Rarity would be admiring her new tail, Applejack would be admitting her admiration for Twilight’s cheesy speech and Princess Celestia herself would arrive to bring the whole episode some closure.
I didn’t feel in the mood to watch any of it.
Nightmare Moon’s laugh still rang in my ears. I could still see her standing above Twilight Sparkle, ready to kill her. There was nothing else to it. I had to save her life to ensure the happy ending. But what did that mean for me? I was a fan of MLP: FIM, but I wasn’t its police. Why had the characters deviated so dramatically from their script? I didn’t know, and I didn’t like not knowing.
I stood at the entrance to the castle with the warm sun washing my face. Behind me, the throne room shone like, well… the sun, and I could hear the tearful reunion of Celestia and her little sister Luna. The horizons of Equestria spread out around me in every direction. I was a human, in a world that I had only seen through the eyes of a TV-Y show. A world of magic, of ponies, of monsters, and of heroes. A world of unspeakable terrors and awe-inspiring marvels.
That’s where I was,
(A tiny part of me noticed that I wasn’t at home in my bed. I guess this wasn’t like the ‘Power Ponies’ episode where I get to go home after the adventure is over.)
And the adventure had just begun. I took a deep breath and swallowed hard.
“Now what?”