[FIXED] Episode 17: Getting The Job And School?!?!
When you walk on the farm, you run into the big red stallion having trouble with a cart. Get on friendly terms with him by using WD-40 to loosen the wheels and he introduces you to Granny Smith.
As you walk down the dirt path towards your doo-I mean Sweet Apple Acres, you see the big red stallion from yesterday (the only stallion that went after that cursed doll) and he looks like he's having trouble with something. As you walk over to see if you can help him, you start to think,
I really need to find out what happen to that demented doll. I mean, I saw it get teleported by Spike's green flame to Celestia, but after that I don't know. Celestia obviously snapped out of it somehow since she wasn't bat-stinking insane when she gave Twilight that "scolding". Ahh whatever, I'll find out later, let's see what Big Red's problem is.
You reach Big Red and see that he's pulling a wagon full of apple barrels with a bit of difficulty. You walk next to him and ask,
"Hey Red, got a problem?"
Big Red nods his head and says,
"Eyup."
You nod your head as you look over the wagon. Not seeing anything wrong with it, you ask,
"Sooooo... what's the problem?"
Big Red unhitches the wagon, walks up to the front wheel and kicks it. Understanding his gesture, you nod your head while saying
"Ah" before smiling and saying,
"Don't worry Big Red, I got just the thing."
He looks at you confused at the nickname, but you don't notice as you begin to dig around The Inventory. You think about one of your cans of WD-40 and pull it out and then proceed to walk over to the wheel and spray it as you say,
"One of the many things my Grandbug-er I mean Grandpony taught me. If it's supposed to move but doesn't, use WD-40."
Big Red nods his head at your advice while saying,
"Eyup."
You stop spraying and give the wheel a light nudge causing it to move more smoothly. You nod your head at your hoofwork and blow on the nozzle of the can before putting it back in the Inventory. Big Red attaches the wagon to his back and nods his head in thanks before he begins to walk towards the farm. As he walks away you think,
Another satisfied custo- Oh... Luna darn it!
You suddenly remember why you even came here in the first place, so you dash after him and when you catch up to him you say,
"Wait! Uh... you see I was actually on my way to the farm your heading to for the job the owners' posted, and I'm guessing you work there. It would be great if you could introduce me to the boss there."
Big Red looks like he's thinking about it, before he nods his head and says,
"Eyup."
You smile and begin to walk with him and as you walk to the farm you can't help but say,
"You don't talk much do you Big Red?"
Big Red nods his head and just says,
"Eyup. Name's Big MacIntosh by the way."
"Baker Sylvester Tennant, but you can call me B.S.T."
This certainly isn't awkward. Nope, not awkward at all...
And with that the short and silent walk to the farm began...
A SHORT WALK LATER
Granny Smith comments on your pure blue eyes which causes you to get defensive until Granny Smith replies that they remind her of an old ex-coltfriend. You then remember how Grandbuggy used to brag about being quite the playcolt when he was younger with mares of all species, but surely he and the Hick's grandmother didn't-ABORT LEWD THOUGHTS! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! MY EYES!!! SOMELING GOUGE THEM!!!
When you meet Granny Smith she has a reaction you don't quite expect
G: D-Doctor?
You: Umm...
G: Doctor is that you?
You: N-No, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I don't know medicine or anything
G: Oh...(Downcast), sorry about that youngun. Some of yer clothes reminded me of someone I used to know (distant look in her eyes before shaking her head and cheering up) then again at my age you can't help but start seeing things. I swore I saw my grandson fighting a horde of mares over a doll yesterday heh heh.
You: heh heh...ya...
In your mind (Holy Crap, she knew the Doctor? Which one though? Well seeing as how Lady Luck and her evil sister fate have lead me here, I might as well make a note of it.)
As you and Big Red (yes, he did tell you that his name is Big MacIntosh, but you feel that Big Red sounds better) reach a farm, you see a old-looking green mare who looks like nothing but skin and bones. She has a frizzy white mane and tail, and her cutie mark is a apple pie. You can't help but think,
Please tell me her special talent is making pies. Pleaseeeee...
You snap out of it when you realize that Big Red is pointing her hoof at her. You look at him confused and ask,
"Is she the owner of this farm?"
Big Red nods his head and says,
"Eyup"
You nod your head, say a quick "Thanks" before you walk over to the old pony. As you walk over to her, you start to think,
Okay gotta remember, treat your elders with respect. Don't ever mention bingo around them unless you need them to go away. Uhhh what was the last one... urg what was it... oh yeah! Never look them in the e-why is she staring at me?
Apparently you reached the old pony while you where thinking and she's been staring at you the whole time. You begin to stare back and you're about to slap yourself when she says something... weird.
"D-Doctor?"
Your eyes widen in shock as you look around to see if the TARDIS somehow managed to appear without you knowing. But when you don't see it or the Doctor, you look at the old pony in confusion and say in a awkward tone,
"Umm..."
The old pony doesn't seem to notice your awkward tone as she looks you up and down before saying,
"Doctor, is that you?"
Realizing that she's talking to you, you begin to stutter nervously as you remember that you're wearing some of the Doctor's old cloths. You manage to mumble out nervously,
"N-No ma'am, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I don't know medicine or anything wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff."
The old mare looks sad as she says,
"Oh... sorry about that youngun. Some of yer clothes reminded me of somepny I used to know,"
She gets a distant look in her eyes before shaking her head and cheering up saying,
"Then again at my age you can't help but start seeing things. I swore I saw my grandson fighting a horde of mares over a doll yesterday heh heh."
You laugh nervously at the thing that really happened as you say,
"Heh heh... ya..."
The old mare shakes her head as she says,
"Were are my manners, mah name is Granny Smith, but you can call me Smith."
You nod your head, but on the inside of your mind you are really panicking,
Holy Stupid Ducks, she knew the Doctor? Which one though? Well seeing as how Lady Luck and her evil sister fate have lead me here, I might as well send a note to the Doctor about this along with the whole 'The Nightmare Comes' thing later. Right now, I need a job.
Before you can ask Granny Smith about the job, she suddenly says,
"You know youngun, your pure blue eyes remind me of an ex-coltfriend I had so many decades ago. He sure knew how to surprise a mare, and the things that stallion could do with duct tape..."
Granny suddenly starts to giggle like a filly with a blush on her face, while all you can do is think in confusion,
You know, I remember how Grandbuggy used to brag about being quite the playcolt when he was younger with mares of all species, but surely he and the Hick's grandmother didn't-
You suddenly picture something that you wished you never saw, and you have to hold back the strong urge to claw your eyes out as you scream in your mind,
NO! DO NOT WANT! ABORT LEWD THOUGHTS! ABORT- MY EYES, THEY BURN!!! SOMELING GOUGE THEM!!! WHY CRUEL WORLD, WHHHYYYYYY?!!!
Granny Smith looks at your pained and horrified look before saying,
"Uh shucks, I'll never understand youngun these days. Now did y'all need somthing?"
Shaking the now forever burned vision from your mind (for now), you ask Granny Smith,
"Actually, I'm here for the job you posted in town hall."
Granny Smith looks confused for a second, before realizing something and saying,
"Oh, you mean the job my granddaughter put up. Well ya'll just need to talk to her, she's just over yonder."
She points behind you, and you turn around to see...
The hick bucking apples.
Buck....
You sigh in defeat, say thank you, and begin to walk over to Applejack...
You walk up to the farmhouse, and spot bane-of-your-every-waking-moment #4, otherwise known as Applejack. You feel you're severely going to regret doing this, but you also have no other choice. After you swallow the lump in your throat, you finally manage to walk up and talk to her.
"Ahem, hello there. I umm... here you're in need of some help around here?" you say nervously, ready to make a run for it at any moment.
"Sure do. Y'all must be here for the position. These acres of ours have kept expandin' over the years, and we just can keep up." she explains "We're sure are glad y'all are here to help mister... 
what's yer name again?" she leans in, eyeing you intently.
"Oh umm, me?" You're getting nervous the way she's staring at you "I- I'm B- Baker S- Sylvest... here's my resume!" you shove the piece of paper in her face.
She takes it and looks over it carefully, looking back up at you periodically 
. You really hope she doesn't see through you again, and gosh it's getting hot out here, you can feel yourself sweating bullets already. She's staring right at you, why is she staring right at you? Why isn't she saying anything? Is she on to you? Oh crud, she's totally on to you! Make a break for it bug she's gonna-
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mister Baker Sylvester Tennant!" she says, although you can barely make it out through the earthquake-tier hoofshake she's giving you "Just head on out to the east side of the orchard, Big Mac will fill you in on what to do. And if y'all see that lazy pegasus Rainbow Dash nappin' in our trees, tell her she's got clouds for that."
"C-c-c-combo breake- I mean, can do ma'am." you say as you recover from the aftershocks.
You walk over to bane-of-your-every-waking-moment #4, otherwise known as Applejack. You feel you're severely going to regret doing this, but you also have no other choice. After you swallow the lump in your throat, you finally manage to walk up to her and say,
"Ahem, hello there... I, umm... here for the job you posted in the... town hall?"
You say nervously, ready to make a run for it at any moment. Applejack gives you a big smile as she says,
"Sure do. Y'all must be here for the position of farmhoof. We're sure are glad y'all are here to help mister... what's yer name again?" she leans in, eyeing you intently.
"Oh umm, me?" You're getting nervous the way she's staring at you "I- I'm B- Baker S- Sylvester T-Tennant... here's my resume!"
You take the piece of paper out of your coat pocket and shove it in her face. She takes it and looks over it carefully, looking back up at you periodically with a questing look. As she continues to do this, you begin to freak out and think,
I REALLY hope she doesn't see through my disguise again, and gosh it's getting hot out here, I can feel myself sweating bullets already! She's staring right at me, why is she staring right at me? Why isn't she saying anything? Is she on to me!? Oh crud, she's totally on to me! Make a break for it bug she's gonna get ya! Get to the chopa-
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mister Baker Sylvester Tennant!" she says, although you can barely make it out through the earthquake-tier hoofshake she's giving you,
"Just head on out to the east side of the orchard, and start bucking the apple trees until you either fill 29 buckets or you reach the end of the acre. And if y'all see that lazy pegasus Rainbow Dash nappin' in our trees, tell her she's got clouds for that."
Your still shaking, so you start to say the first thing that comes to your head,
"C-c-c-combo breake- I mean, can do ma'am." you say as you recover from the aftershocks of that hoofshake. You stop shaking after awhile and turn around to go to the field when...
Get a job has a farmhoof which pays [DWC inserts salary here], but includes lodging as they give you an old shed (the CMC need the clubhouse) and three free apples a day.
-The shed is small with torn curtains and the Apple family provided you with a large washtub (for bathing and laundry) and a spare cot, but since you have the Inventory for storage, it'll do as you fix up the shed with your sewing and patching tools.
When Applejack reads your resume, she mentions how her cousin Braeburn knew another Patcher in Appleloosa named Bugze and asks if you know either of them.
"Hey, Mister Tennant!"
You turn back to Applejack, worried that she might know your secret, but instead she gives you a kind smile and says,
"I almost forgot. You get paid 20 bits a day, but you and your daughter can stay in our old shed and you get 2 free apples a day. Your job, if ya'll forgotten already, is to buck apples and patch up anything around the farm. You get holidays off and you gotta be here as soon as you drop off or pick up your daughter at school, alright!"
You nod your head and yell back "Okay!"
Your about to go to work when Applejack asks,
"Hey, Mister Tennant. My cousin Braeburn is best friends with a patcher back in Appaloosa named Bugze. You know him?"
You smile at Applejack and say,
"Yeah! He's my cousin. Patching runs in the family, so he got a job up in Appleloosa, while I got a job here. In fact I think my cousin El Hunko is a patcher in Canterlot."
You may sound calm, but you were actually mentally panicking at a mile a minute,
Holy mother of the moon, I can't believe I just thought up a cover for all my disguise just then! Thank Luna that I can just use the cousin excuse for now on. And I thought I told Braeburn to never tell Applejack about me! Ohh hes gonna get it when I send him my next mail...
While you were thinking, you don't hear Applejack mumble,
"A whole family of patchers, that'll be mighty helpful for the next family reunion."
She then nods her head and says to you,
"Ya'll get to work ya hear! Me and Granny are gonna get your shed prepared!"
You salute her and say,
"Yes ma'am!"
And with that your work day starts...
SEVERAL HOURS OF WORK LATER
When nopony is looking, experiment to see what happens when you Falcon Punch or Shoryuken an apple tree and compare if it's more or less effective than just plain bucking the trees
This has got to be the fifth-hundredth time someling has managed to corner me. If I survive this, I am sooooo gonna learn how to dodge and block from the Kung-Fu for Dummies book. Cause I am seriously getting tired of being cornered by these ponies.
Did Bugze ever do this?
AJ witnesses your training montage and is quite impressed with it. She's a rodeo pony you know, (which you do, because she tells you all about it) and asks if there's any help you need. She spots the Kung Fu for Dummies book before you can stop her and sees the chapter on dodging. Unfortunately, she decides to help you with that, if you want to or not.
You shake in fear after she leaves, and turn around to continue your training. You suddenly hear "DODGE!!!" and turn around in time to get bucked in the face. AJ shakes her head and promises that you'll learn.
You struggle to your feet after she leaves again. At least your mask stayed-
"DODGE!!!"
You turn and an apple slams into your face. Apple Bloom looks out from behind a tree. "You gotta be faster than that, Mister!"
After bucking apples for some time, you managed to fill all 29 buckets and then some (you counted at least 40). Now you're practicing out your moves since no one's looking. You opened the Kung-Fu for Dummies book to the dodging chapter, and right now you're practicing dodging, Falcon Punch, dodging, Shoryuken, dodging, and so on. Your dodging and basic punching skills have gotten slightly better and you're about to Shoryuken a tree, when you hear something you really don't want to hear...
"Not bad."
You stop mid-punch which unfortunately causes you to flop face-first into the grace. You then start to panic, but you calm down as you think,
Calm down bug! If she knew she would have attacked you, and considering you're still standing, just stay calm!
You look up to see Applejack giggling as she walks over to you with an impressed look in her eyes and says,
"Them's some pretty fancy moves, Mister Tennant, but it's all just power and luck. Luckily for you, I'ma gonna help train ya."
The next thing you know, Applejack is suddenly wearing a red hoody, blue swish pants, and is eating a chocolate bar. She then says
"Lets get ta work!"
You can't help but think in dread,
Luna help me...
since sweet apple acres is HUGE there's Probably something you can find to help you train. That being said you gotta train with out the DFV you woulda lost for sure so i suggest *ahem* EPIC TRAINING MONTAGE
...Accompanied by this music.
This plays in the background as you start to train under Applejack's coaching,
First she has you run around apple tress while apples are being thrown at you.
Then she has you do push ups... with a barrel on your back... and then weights on your neck... Yeah, you're gonna be sore in the morning.
Next she has you do jumping jacks while dodging rotten eggs,
Finally, she has you dodge her attacks while she repeatedly shouts "DODGE!" You hurt all over and let's just leave it at that. You shake in exhaustion after she leaves and turn around to call it a day when you suddenly hear,
"DODGE!!!"
You turn around in time to get a buck to the face. AJ shakes her head and says,
"You shouldn't turn your back on an opponent sugarcube. By the way, since your shift's done and it's sundown, why don't ya come in and eat supper with us? We have soup, biscuits, Apple Crisp..."
You jump up as soon as she said Apple Crisp and say,
"I'm good, gimme the Crisp!"
Applejack giggles at your outburst while... blushing?
Nah I'm seeing things, that hick can't blush... Well maybe she needs to be around the fillyfooler first...
Applejack says bye as you go to retrieve your hat. You can't help but feel the place where she punched you and think,
At least my mask stayed-
"DODGE!!!"
You turn and an apple splats into your face. Apple Bloom looks out from behind a tree and says,
"You gotta be faster than that, Mister!"
You grumble something along the lines of
"You're real lucky there's a whole bunch of reasons I can't stay made at you..."
Before you go to eat...
When it gets dark to signal the end of the work day, eat supper with the Apples. When they ask where's your daughter, you reply that she's asleep and try to leave it at that. When the topic of the Hooded Offender comes up, all four of the Apples are unsurprisingly anti-H.O.
As you're eating with the Apples (your taste buds are melting at how good their Apple Crisps are. You hold open your face mask in a way so you can just drop each spoonful in without anypony seeing your Changeling lower face), they ask you questions about where you used to live and what kind of job you had before coming here and stuff like that. The conversation suddenly turned to the Ponyville Schoolhouse which causes Applejack to ask,
"Hey Mister Tennant, where's your daughter?"
Apple Bloom is about to respond, but you quickly blurt out,
"My daughter is... sleeping at the shed! Yeah, she requires quite a bit of sleep. Trust me, when you see her appetite, you'll be glad she sleeps so much."
In an attempt to steer the conversation away from your daughter you quickly add,
"So... Any of you heard of this 'Hooded Offender' guy everylin- PONY is yakking about?"
"Nope..." Big MacIntosh growls as you notice the table starting to crack at where he has his hooves at.
"That Hooligan needs a spanking for what he's done to my granddaughters!" Granny Smith declares,
Applebloom looks down with a conflicted look on her face as Applejack (unsurprisingly) says,
"I'm gonna hang that varmint myself!"
Needless to say, your death here just increased from "Likely" to "Most defiantly."
-The shed is small with torn curtains and the Apple family provided you with a large washtub (for bathing and laundry) and a spare cot, but since you have the Inventory for storage, it'll do as you fix up the shed with your sewing and patching tools.
After that (mostly) lovely supper you decide to go to your new home. You see it's a small shed and inside the Apples have provided you with a big washtub, a lantern, and a spare cot with some torn curtains. After some quick patching, you decided to hit the hay. You decided to keep your clothes on since now there's the chance of getting caught. As you lay on the bed, you write to the
Doctor...
Report #2
Yo Doc!
First of all I met one of your old companions. Well I think I did. Her name's Granny Smith, she's a nice old mare. I'm actually working on her farm now.
Also, something weird happened. I saw this poster that said "The Nightmare Comes". But when I blinked, it vanished! I hope you can investigate this... Night
ON THE TARDIS
Doctor: Ah yes, Ms. Smith, she was always one of my favorites
Derpy: Wait, Granny Smith was one of your companions? Oh please tell me you didn't do anything with her, because I'll never get that image out of my head
Doctor: What...(blushing) no no, nothing like that, we were just friends. See (Pulls out photo of a different incarnation with Granny Smith in her prime wrapping her hooves around his neck and facing the camera
Derpy: aaannnddd...yup, that image is now stuck in my head, thanks for that (walks away)
Doctor: Oh come on!
"Ah yes, Ms. Smith, she was always one of my favorites." the Doctor says in reminiscence.
"Wait, Granny Smith was one of your companions? Oh please tell me you didn't do anything with her, because I'll never get that image out of my head." Derpy says,
"What... no no, nothing like that, we were just friends. See?"
The Doctor quickly pulls out photo of a different incarnation with Granny Smith in her prime wrapping her hooves around his neck and facing the camera. Derpy blinks blanky before saying,
"Yup, that image is now stuck in my head. I have to go check on Dinky now."
With that, she walks away causing the Doctor to say,
"Wait, Derpy!"
The Doctor runs after Derpy, not noticing the part about the 'The Nightmare Comes' pop up on the psychic paper. Until it's too late, as it vanishes...
BACK WITH YOU
With that done, you lie down on the cot and go to sleep... and you have a very weird dream...
Through certain circumstances find yourself weilding a fire spell running in Sweet apple acres screaming: RAZE THIS BARN!
or ya know... It could be a dream sequence
I also second at least one instance of 'Raze' this barn.
I third the motion for a "Raze this barn" moment.
Raze this barn song: I picture Bugze taking a makeshift flamethrower (that his grandbuggy taught him to make) and flaming the barn while singing!
Raze this barn, raze this barn, one two three four. Together we can raze this barn, one two three four.
Come on up, young and old. Together burn it bright and bold.
DREAM WORLD
You suddenly dream that you're laughing like a maniac and you start to use a flamethrower on... the Apple's farm! Suddenly this starts to play, but more demonic and a bit warped. You then start sing evilly...
"Raze this farm, raze this farm!
One, two, three, four
Absolutely, I will raze this farm!
One, two, three, four"
You start to throw Molotov's that you didn't even know you had like a flowerfilly at a wedding as you continue to sing...
"Up, up, up, go the flames
Blow up those joints, break the frames
Burn 'em round now till they're filled with woe
Grab a new fuel tank, here we go!"
The Apple family that you know of all scream,
"NOOOO!"
"Come on, Apple family! Let's put it out! NOW!!!!" The hick shouts as they then try to put out the flames, but nothing works. You continue to light up the place as you continue,
"Raze this farm, raze this farm!
One, two, three, four
Absolutely, I will raze this farm!
One, two, three, four"
You then use Psycho Crusher to break down some support beams while somehow continuing to sing,
"Feeding the flames, burning all the wood
Smashing stuff. I'm doin' good!
Laughing as the fillyfooler hick cries
As her home burns to the skies!"
Applejack then charges at you in angry tears while shouting,
"Die ya bucking varmint!"
You quickly whirl around and blast her point blank in the face with a rocket launcher, sending her flying into a shack and causing it to explode in a fireball,
"Raze this farm, raze this farm!
One, two, three, four
Come on up, young and old.
Together burn it bright and bold."
You reload the rocket launcher and continue to fire it causing more destruction,
"Slats of wood fall to the ground
Set 'em up and blow 'em down!
Got that barn in my cross-hairs, you know
Let loose the rocket, watch it glow!"
You fire a rocket at the barn which causes it to explode in a fireball, and all the apple family again shout,
"NOOOO!"
Applebloom, Big Red, and Granny Smith say one after the other,
"What have you done!
Look at this, our home is gone."
"All thanks to that no-good moron."
"I just don't know what to say."
They the all say at the same time
"We have no home now anyway."
You then duct tape the rocket launcher to the flamethrower and are about to fire it at the remaining Apples as you sing,
"Reload my weapons, strafe to the right
Get the targets in your sights
Blasting back and all around
That farm's gonna burn right to the groun-"
REAL WORLD
The Apples convince you to let Nightshade go to school so when you wake up the next day you go to "Barnyard Bargins" on your lunch break and buy school supplies (pencils and notebook folder) and even a purple vest for Nightshade so she can hide her wings (seeing how Barnyard Bargins is the mlp equivalent of Wal-Mart, the prices are cheap but the employees are constantly grumbling about the low pay and lack of benefits. Makes you glad you didn't apply there)
"AHHHHH!"
You wake up just before the song ends breathing heavily and the only thing you can say is,
"Is it just me, or is that time I was set on fire and went insane and chased everyling might have made a lasting effect on me..."
You shake your head as you check the time to see that it's almost time for Nightshade to go to school... and you realize you haven't bought any school supplies yet! You start to panic as you say,
"Oh Luna! I need to get to Barnyard Bargins!"
With that you jump out of bed,
"GAH!"
And fall flat on your face from muscle soreness from all that work and training the day before.
"And maybe some cherry juice for my aching muscles..." you mutter.
AN HOUR LATER OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL
You smile with fatherly pride as Nightshade starts to walk towards the school doors with her new purple vest covering her wings (there was a sale on school supplies, but you had to spend the 20 bits you earned yesterday and gave some to Nightshade so now you're down to 40 bits). She looks back over to you and waves while shouting,
"Bye Daddy!"
You smile and wave back as you say
"Bye Sweetie!"
With that you walk back to Sweet Apple Acres to get to work.
POV change: Nightshade!
This is it, my first day at school! I can do this! I'm gonna make my daddy proud! But first...
Nightshade quickly looks in her new saddlebag,
Nightshade's Saddlebag Inventory:
-2 Apples
-1 Jar of Peanut Butter
-2 Boxes of Whole Wheat crackers
-1 Bottle of water
-Notebook folder
-4 Pencils
-5 Bits
Seeing that everything is in order, she opens the door to her first day of school.
What does Nightshade do?