My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
"Non-Canon"
Pinkie Pie Variety Show Recovery
By Everypony For Everypony
The Camera flickered on. The studio didn't look as lively as it normally did. There were still patches in the building from the epic battles that had happend in previous installment. The party supplies were still on the floor from Pinkie Pie's party where her friends all regressed to their G3 selves (minus AJ who had become her G1 incarnation), Pinkie Pie couldn't deny how happy she had been.
Princess Luna had to intervene when things had gotten out of control however.
The others had talked it over with her later, and told Pinkie Pie she herself wasn't exactly the same as she used to be, she herself had grown and changed from her G3 days.
Pinkie Pie couldn't deny that. She WAS different from when she lived in G3 Ponyville, she had grown and changed.
Now she was alone in the studio again, sweeping things up with a broom and dust bin.
She then noticed the camera was on.
"Oh, hello everypony, I didn't think we'd have another episode after last time. But, well, welcome, sorry there is't much of a show this time. I really REALLY wasn't expecting you. I'm still cleaning up, that was one wild party . . . at least I got to tell Minty how much I loved her this time. Well, make yourselves comfortable . . . not sure what . . ." Pinkie Pie eyed it. The dreaded what if machine. Next to the fanworks picker machine. The PPPP7.
"Might as well get this part over with, okay what-if machine, I'm sick of all this dark and depressing stuff! Everypony thinks the author is in love with dark and grimy stuff cause of you! You better show our viewer something happy and fun for a change! I've just had to say goodbye to all my dear friends who I'll never see again! So you better not pull any fast ones, got it?" Pinkie Pie turned on the what-if machine.
-
*Taking place At the same time as the dark world true final battle*
"ENOUGH!" Nightmare Eclipse snarled, "There's only need for one world, a golden world, a perfect universe with perfect ponies! Variances are not needed!"
The Nightmare dove like a blazing comet towards the twelves ponies, as they stood in the starry void that they now fought the embodiment of Princess Twilight's hubris and dark side.
There was a pair of each pony, they were for the most part identical, except the pairs didn't save the same cutie marks.
An Applejack not as physically fit but with a keener eye.
A Fluttershy not as connected to nature but not fearing what other though of her.
A Rainbow Dash whose figure wasn't a flawless athlete but an inner calm and wisdom.
A Rarity not quite as graceful, but more pragmatic.
A Pinkie Pie not as lively, but stronger than she looked.
And two Twilight Sparkles, both blessed as Alicorns, who'd move the world for their friends, rather than having them move for her.
= Intertwined - Wonderful 101 =
Butterfly Fluttershy and Butterfly Rainbow Dash looked at each other and nodded and flew up the blazing Nightmare. And both Stared her in one eyes, freezing her in place.
"Kindness and loyalty to those we love!"
Taking their cue Diamond Rarity summoned several jewels in the air non-stop and Diamond Applejack kicked them in the air, each one striking a place in the kinks in the Nightmare's armor, striking serving nerve and mana points, disabling her. "Generosity and honesty to those we care for!"
"Sonic Lightning Storm!" Lightning Rainbow Dash Sonic Rainboomed foreword as Lightning Rarity summoned a giant storm cloud that shot rainbow colored lightning at the pegasus who absorbed it into her strike, hitting the Nightmare dead center, cracking the peytral. "Generosity with loyalty to sacrifice for others!"
"Party Cannon Barrage!" Balloon Fluttershy fired off the party cannons one after another as Balloon Pinkie Pie provided them, warping them from one spot to another around the Nightmare, breaking her armor save for her champron. "A kind laugh for all!"
"Apple Family Double-Impact!" Apple Pinkie Pie and the namesake Applejack were dropped like ballistic missiles on top of the Nightmare's head, avoiding the horn, and Bucks McGillicutty, Kicks McGee, and their two cousins, struck dead center in the Nightmare's head, shattering the champron to pieces and giving the Nightmare one giant headache.
"That's for some an honest laugh!"
"THIS IS ABSURD! A DELUSION! You're opposites! Contradictions! You're antithesis' to each other! YOU DON'T BELONG TOGETHER!!!"
"You've really fallen Twilight far if you can't see it!" Diamond Rarity said.
"No matter the world." Butterfly Rainbow Dash said.
"No matter our destinies." Said Namesake Applejack.
"We're still friends!" They all shouted together.
The two purple Alicorns spread their wings and touched horns. The lights of two sets of Elements of Harmony glowed.
The Nightmare gasped. Before her was a giant transparent rainbow colored Alicorn looking very crossed.
"Harmony Alicorn Head-Butt TO THE MOON!" The massive Alicorn struck the Nightmare. Enveloping the Nightmare as she screamed and the Alicorn turned into a whirlwind of light.
"Just kidding!" Said Balloons Fluttershy.
The light cleared, and in the Nightmare's place, was a weak and small Alicorn Twilight Sparkle, still Discorded. She looked at the gathering ponies and whimpered. Then five familiar looking Alicorns appeared around her, smiling.
A few minutes later...
"Maybe you're not such a wimp after all," said Lightning RD.
"Thanks, I think." Butterfly Rainbow Dash replied.
"I take it back, your skies are beautiful." Diamond Rarity said.
"No I take it back first, your dresses put my skies to shame." Replied Lighting Rarity.
"Please darling, let's not get into that routine!" Diamond Rarity smiled.
Balloon Pinkie Pie said, "Tell the Apples that you love them?"
"Only if you tell the Cakes the same thing." Replied Apple Pinkie Pie.
"Still think I had to be a miserable snob?" Smirked Diamond Applejack.
"No. Ah don't. Friends?" Namesake AJ offered a hoof shake.
"Screw that. We're Family." Diamond AJ returned the hoofsake.
"You're not a coward." Balloon Fluttershy said, lowering her head, "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," Butterfly Fluttershy said, lifting her head, "I AM always afraid of everything, but I have the courage to face up to anything for my friends."
"Same here."
"I know."
"Quite a handful aren't they?" One Twilight Sparkle said to another. Which one? Didn't matter.
"You have no idea."
"I'd say I have every idea."
"True. And we wouldn't trade them for Equestria would we?"
"For the world!"
"For the universe!"
"For all existence!"
"Hey no fair!" They laughed and gave each other a hug. "Never forget they're a gift. Cherish them."
"I'll never forget that. But they're not gifts, they're not property, I don't own them."
"Not quite. But, your heart belongs to them, as much as they've given theirs to you."
The new princess nodded and they nuzzled. "And just imagine."
They said together, "This is going to make a great friendship letter!"
"You don't do those anymore darling." Said the two Rarity together, they looked at each other and blushed.
"Oh-"
"-right. Hehe."
"Sorry, old habit are hard to break."
"BUt we both want to say to all of you-"
"-that we're overjoyed to see-"
"-even if our destinies WERE different-"
"-we'd still find each other, and we'd still become friends-"
"-and that makes us more happy than you can imagine." Both Twilights had tears in their eyes. What followed was a twelve pony group hug.
-
The what if imagine died down.
PInkie Pie just stared, "Okay, I guess that was heart warming AND exciting AND it was downright NICE AND HAPPY too! So, kudos to you what if machine, I guess you're not so bad after all." Pinkie Pie patted it on the head. The what-if machine blushed.
"Okay everypony!" She said look at the camera. "I think I feel a lot better now! So you remember the rules right?
1) What you write in the comments gets copy and pasted into the story as what happens next.
2) The camera can't leave the studio no matter what.
3) Try to keep the number of ponies in the studio in the single digit range.
4) ANY GUESTS of any generation, media, or variance we welcome here in the studio but they have to be My Little Pony. No any other franchises.
5) Everything that happens here in the studio is non-canon to the fanfic series. This is just for fun (maybe we should get our own trope page).
6) Have fun!"
7) Only Pinkie Pie can break the Forth Wall.
-
"Delivery!"
"Huh, oh thanks Derpy!" Pinkie said while grabbing the letter and waving goodbye to Derpy as she flew off.
"Wowie a letter from a fan! We haven't had one of these in a long time. I wonder what it says".
Dear Pinkie Pie,
Glad to see you do another 4th wall party! These always put a smile on my face.
Pinkie stopped and looked to the camera. "Oh thank you. It puts a smile on my face too. See" She showed the camera a huge grin and continued reading.
But what happen at the last party? You never showed your friends reaction to their changes? Were they mad, happy, or what? I think everyone else would loved to know as well.
From,
(Insert name here)
"Oh, I wanted to show you the end of it. Really I did. However, we had some… technical difficulties that prevented us from doing so. Technical difficulties that were definitely not caused by an embarrassed pegasus or unicorn that wished to destroy all evidence she was wearing an extremely girly dress or to hide their new make-over. Yep totally technical difficulties and nothing else".
Pinkie paused and looked around to make sure she was alone. When she was sure she was, she whisper to the camera "But I did managed take a picture when no pony was looking. Just pinkie promise you won't tell my friends okay." She pulled out a photo from her mane and showed it to the camera.
In the picture showed Twilight blushing in front of her BBBFF. Shining Armor was smiling while pointing at her sister's green stripped socks she was wearing on her hind legs. In upper right corner of the photo showed Applejack with a blue bow in her tail. She was holding her stomach and was looking at a huge pile of apple cores laying near her with a baffled look. In the bottom left corner was was a pink mare with with a rainbow mane laying on Rarity's fainting couch. On the opposite side was Flutterscruel holding her head like she was experiencing a massive headache. Finally in the upper left corner there was an angry Rainbow Dash in a beautiful dress charging at the camera.
Pinkie placed the photo backed into her mane. "Now remember to keep that photo between us. It's a secret!"
-
Another pictured slipped out from the folds of the letter, Pinkie Pie found a little note tapped to it.
'Dear Lady Pinkamena,
We felt it was our royal duty, with how your friends initially reacted, to show you this, but remember these are your friends private dreams, and shouldn't be shared with other ponies. We have chosen to show you this, only because we felt it was the only way you would truly be able to move on.'
Signed, P.L.'
Pinkie looked at the photo, and smiled. It was picture of dreams.
Fluttershy and Fluttercruel separately stood in a butterfly garden, Fluttershy smiling, Zipzee on the end of her extended hoof, the two happily chatting.
Next was Twilight Sparkle, wearing the green socks to bed, and her and Minty reading a fairy tale book in her dreams.
Rarity was at a crystal castle different from the one in the crystal empire, skillfully making a dress for a little pink princess.
Next was Applejack the first and Applejack of the forth generation sitting on a lake shore listening to the seapony's sing.
Finally there was Rainbow Dash . . . both of them. Except, Firefly was there too, arguing with the original Rainbow Dash over something. Unless RD got them both to shake hooves.'
Pinkie Pie smiled, "Oh Dashie, you think nopony noticed the pretty dress you wanted to wear when Princess Celestia was going to visit that first time? Silly filly." Pinkie Pie put the photos away.
-
Pinkie Pie heard a rather loud bang. "Hmm, wonder what that could be?" She wondered, before getting her answer as a very angry Twilight teleported into the room, breathing heavily and looking like she might go into her fire mode at any time.
"Whoa, you okay there Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"How dare they..." Twilight huffed. "How DARE they even IMPLY something so horrible! There is NOTHING like that in our relationship, do you hear me? NOTHING!" She punctuated that with a stomp of her hoof.
"Um... okay?" Pinkie Pie smiled nervously as Trixie showed up, also having teleported.
"Sorry, this is probably my fault," Trixie said sheepishly, rather unlike her. "Trixie found an article in a tabloid suggesting that Twilight and her brother's relationship might be a little bit... closer than it actually is, if you know what I mean."
Pinkie Pie nodded as it dawned on her. "You mean... THAT kind of close?"
Trixie grimaced. "Yes. For some reason, Trixie thought it would be a good idea to show Twilight this article. Let's just say things escalated quickly."
"I WILL GRIND THEM TO DUST!" Twilight screamed, nearly reaching Royal Canterlot Voice levels.
"Do you know how to calm her down?" Trixie asked the pink pony. "I hate to admit it, but 'calming spells' are a category I haven't learned yet."
"Usually, when she's THIS angry, after exactly 7 minutes and 42 seconds, she'll pass out. When she wakes up, she'll be calm again and will deal with what made her angry in a more rational manner." Pinkie Pie explained. As she said this, Twilight suddenly stopped screaming and shouting, and collapsed to the floor, a serene smile plastered on her face as she closed her eyes.
Trixie's eyes widened. "Well, that was convenient."
Pinkie Pie made a mental note to never show Twilight that "Friendship is Witchcraft" series that seemed to be rather popular among the Shadows-Who-Watched. "It sure was. Say, why don't you stay here while we wait for Twilight to wake up?"
"I suppose Trixie can take a break right now," Trixie replied.
-
Just then, the studio lights flickered and dimmed. The shadows in the room flowed, pooling into a four-legged shape that rose from the floor. “!pinkamenA dianE piE,” it spoke gravely. “.youR ouT oF characteR behavioR anD excessivE genrE savvY havE gonE toO faR.”
But then, wind gusted from a studio door that had been left open, blowing away the dark shroud and revealing that the Blank Wolf was just an adorable little white-furred Blank Wolf Pup, not even as large as a pony. “Prepare to be cleansed… what’s wrong with my voice?” It crouched, looking left and right as streamers and confetti began to fall. “What trickery is this?!”
Pinkie bounced over to his side, wearing a paper hat. “It’s no trick. It’s your first birthday party! Or maybe it’s a rebirthday party! Hmm… why not both?”
The Wolf sat its hindquarters down, wide eyes blinking. “I… don’t think anyone’s ever thrown me a party before. It’s always ‘How dare you?’ and ‘But I’m not an insertion!’ and ‘Why do you have to be so mean…” It sniffed at the cake that suddenly sat before it, licked it cautiously, then dug in, tail wagging.
The whole time, Trixie stood by the unconscious Twilight, staring. “Trixie wonders… who on earth Pinkie is talking to?”
-
Trixie had no idea who Pinkie Pie was talking to or what was eating the cake but she assumed whatever it was, as long as it was only interested in eating cakes it had to be mostly harmless. But more importantly she trusted her friend.
Then suddenly the door to the studio swung open and Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Rarity trotted inside. Applejack did balance a bottle of apple cider on her head while whispering proudly “Who is a silly pony now?”
“Fine you win our bet, your balance is good.” Rainbow said slightly begrudgingly
Fluttershy did carry a few snacks on her wings and then briefly she shifted to Fluttercruel.
“Ha! Told you that ‘jack could do it, mom. Now you own me five bits.”
“Of course. It is good to see that you believe in her.” The kind Pegasus answered back.
“She got a buc… freaking trophy for being dependable. I think she can handle this… unless she gets drunk on the stuff Pink cooked up the last time. Hmm. If we had some of those pictures left, they'd be amazing bargaining chips against Dash.”
“You do realize I’m standing right next to you?” Rainbow asked a bit irritated.
Meanwhile Rarity did hold a lot of different snacks in her telekinesis ranging from hay fries to potato fritters to bring some fresh party supplies with her.
“Now my dears, this is no time for discord, just relax!”
Soon enough both Rainbow Dash and Fluttercruel found tasty snacks floating into their mouths keeping them quiet for awhile.
-
"Hmmph! Who says it's no time for me?" The ponies froze as a lengthy form slithered into the room from out of Rarity's mane.
"DISCORD!" Several voices whinnied at once. Rarity just looked horrified.
"My mane," she saiid with a shiver. "He was in my mane, and, I had a draconequus there, and..." Her chaise lounge came sliding up, she began to fall back -- only to hit the floor with a loud "Ow!" as it slid right past her on the suddenly-soapy stage.
"MY bad," Discord said with a grin. "I just thought that floor looked a little dirty. It's not like you want to live in a barn, would you?" He looked them over. "Then again, maybe you would." He snapped his fingers and to their shock, the ponies found themselves standing in stalls and with feed bags around their muzzles.
"Ph-tooie! BLEAH!" Rainbow Dash the the feed bag away and spat the contents out. Her friends followed suit, tearing the bags from their muzzles as she said, "That's disgusting! It's like somepony already'd chewed on it" She flew up off the ground and hovered before Discord. "Okay, pal, I dunno how you got de-petrified, but..." She stopped and looked closer. "Wait a minute, you're not 'our' Discord, are you?"
"Of course not. I'm MUCH more handsome than that sadistic oaf," Discord said, momentarily appearing like a cover stallion from one of Rarity's 'Merry Mare' romance novels. The ponies shuddered. Discord sniffed. "Hmmph! You're worse then the ponies I know in my world, and I made friends with them! Well, sort of."
Applejack stomped forward, almost lost her footing on the still-soapy floor, and said, "Okay, then what do y'all want here? We got enough troubles of our own right now, and..."
"I'm not here to fight," Discord said. "I'm a peaceable draconequus, really." He folded his claws together as a halo appeared over his head. Then he took it off his head, dipped a cup of coffee into it, and ate it before saying, "I just wanted to know if your Discord was able to come and attend the support group I and the other Discords are having. The Chaosverse me decided it would be easier for us to stay out of trouble if we could help each other, and I got nominated to extend the claw of friendship," his claw reached across the room from behind, and gave the Flutters a dutch rub; she whinnied and rubbed her aching head as he said, "to your Discord. So where is he?" Discord made a show of looking under himself, into Rarity's ear, and pulling the scenery down to look into what seemed to be a white void all at once.
"Uhh, Ah think he's still stone in the castle gardens," Applejack said, watching this bizarre scene uneasily. "Least, that's where he was the last Ah checked." She looked at her friends for confirmation. They all nodded. Discord huffed, his claws on his hips.
"Hmmph! After coming all this way, the least he could do would be to show up to accept my offer!" He turned and tore open a hole in reality with his claws. "Well, if you see him again, let him know I dropped by? Oh, hello dear!" He said the last to a figure that appeared before him on the other side of the rift. The ponies gaped to see a half-draconequus Rainbow Dash appear before him, hoveriing with one pegasus wing and one like a fly's.
"Hi yourself, honey!" She waved through at the ponies. "Hey, other-verse friends!" The rift closed as Discord and Rainbow Draconequus came together for a very sloppy kiss.
Rainbow Dash settle down beside Applejack, her jaws hanging open. "Hey, AJ, can I borrow your hat?"
"Why?" As she asked, the palomino began handing her hat over.
Dash gave her a sickly look. "So I can puke in it."
AJ promptly yanked it back.
And just to the side offstage, hidden from view, Trixie turned to Spike. "Pay up. Trixie told you they would believe it."
-
The commotion from the rest of the gang caused Twilight to wake up. At that precise moment, the PPPP7 whirred to life, providing two pieces of recursive fanfiction that Pinkie caught.
After taking a look at those pieces, Pinkie said, "Oh boy. These are going to be extremely controversial, so I think we'd better review them one at a time, just so we don't have too many controversial issues to discuss at once." With that, she put the first piece on the pegasus projector.
jawmax.deviantart.com/art/Pony…
There was silence for a moment. Then Fluttercruel screamed, "NOOOOO!" before she went into hiding, leaving Fluttershy in control.
--inside the Flutters mind--
Fluttershy said, "Fluttercruel, what's wrong?
Fluttercruel said, "Please don't turn me into Flutternice!"
Fluttershy said, "You don't have to worry about that. Anypony who wanted to do that to you would have to get past me before they could do that. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Fluttercruel, your cruelty is a part of who you are, and it would be inequine to take that way from you."
This helped calm Fluttercruel down, allowing Fluttershy to go back to the studio to tell the others about what had just happened.
--back in the studio--
Fluttershy said, "Sorry about that. Fluttercruel got scared by the part where she got turned into Flutternice in there."
Rainbow Dash said, "I totally get why she'd feel that way. It would be like taking away my ability to fly, or Twilight's eggheadedness."
Pinkie Pie said, "Something that's really ironic is how they turned the Princesses into gold and silver statues like that. Remember when we got visited by the Dark World Elements of Harmony? They said that over there, Discord did the exact same thing to the Princesses. Yeah, it's ironic, but none of us are laughing."
Twilight said, "It goes beyond just that. The thing that makes harmony possible is how we're all able to accept each other, even if we have different ideals, and are able to work together because of those ideals. By forcing everypony to think the exact same way like that, the Harmony Queens, while they might be getting rid of potential sources of conflict, are getting rid of the very differences that make harmony possible in the first place!" She then looked down and said, "Um, could somepony help me find a way to get off of this massive soapbox?"
-
After Twilight had been helped off of her soapbox, she saw that Trixie seemed bothered by something.
"Trixie, what's wrong?"
"Oh, Twilight. Trixie is kind of bothered by something. When the Harmony Queens used the Elements on Trixie's counterpart, they didn't seem to have any effect. Trixie wonders why that is?"
Twilight said, "Well, at first I thought it might have had something to do with your Element of Magic. But then I realized that if that was the case, it wouldn't explain how Fluttercruel got turned into Flutternice like that. However, I believe I might have an answer that explains it."
Trixie said, "Well, Trixie is all ears. If you have an explanation, please tell Trixie."
Twilight said, "Well, over here, when I helped you recover from what Discord did to you, I made sure to take a look at the situation and come up with just the right methods to help you recover from your trauma. But the Harmony Queens simply tried to force you to recover. They basically tried to use a sledgehammer when they should have used a scalpel instead."
Trixie sighed. "Which makes Trixie wonder where Queen Twilight Sparkle's intelligence went, to think that the Elements of Harmony could be used to solve all their problems like that."
-
Pinkie said, "Okay, I think we've covered all of the major controversial parts of that chapter. Time for chapter two."
jawmax.deviantart.com/art/Frie…
After the chapter was finished, Rainbow Dash said, "...do I look like the type of pony who would care if the frosting on a single cookie was off by half an inch? And why would I treat Scootaloo like that? I mean, I'm practically her big sister, for crying out loud!"
Twilight said, "Actually, the Harmony Queens definition of harmony seems to be that everything be exactly the same, from the amount of bits ponies have, to they way ponies think. While I will admit that they'd have to be going overboard to even apply that logic to a bunch of cookies, it makes sense in a twisted way. As for the way that alternate version of you treated Scootaloo, I feel the need to point out that you didn't become like a big sister to her over here until AFTER the Day of Discord, when we were focusing on helping other ponies recover fromwhat Discord did to them. But over there, our counterparts decided to focus on trying to prevent his release at any cost. So that version of you never had a chance to get close to Scootaloo."
Rainbow Dash said, "Are you actually defending them, Twilight?"
Twilight shook her head. "They turned the Princesses into statues, and if I read that chapter right, they caused my foalsitter to become a Nightmare. Defending them is the last thing I intend to do. I was simply pointing out facts that make what Queen Rainbow Dash did seem somewhat plausible."
Rarity said, "Applejack and I have...mixed feelings. On the one hoof, it seems that events have been set in motion that will ultimately lead to the Harmony Queens receiving their comeuppance."
Applejack said, "But on the other hoof, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle have to be the ones who need to find these Elements of Chaos, meaning that they're gonna be caught up in the middle of all this from start to finish. And if they get careless even once, they'll probably get caught, and won't get another chance to find the Elements of Chaos."
Pinkie Pie said, "Yeah, I'd probably be worried sick if it was Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake who had to do that. But Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked like they thought out the first steps of their quest, and if they can continue to do that, they should be all right."
-
Fluttershy sighed, "I can't blame her."
"What?" RD asked first.
"Queen Fluttershy, I can't blame her. I know they all did lots of really really really really mean things that they say are nice things but . . . I won't do what she did to Fluttercruel but . . .I can't blame her for it, not in the least."
Fluttercruel shifted into place for a moment, "Mom! How can you say that?"
"Because . . . we took different ways of protecting you from turning out like Discord. And . . . given, uh, some of the things you tried to do when you were first born, I . . . I can't blame her for choosing that."
"You . . . You mean I tried to murder Pinkie Pie? And hoping the despair you'd feel from that would let me devour you from the inside? Don't you? . . . " She said in Fluttershy's mind, so not to bring up that horrid little truth about herself in front of the others.
"Yes." Fluttershy whispered as low as she could go. Meaning the dust settling was louder. "I didn't even think the Elements could give you your own body, or give you your own foalhood instead of just having memories of mine. All the things they did thinking they were being friends to everypony, it makes me scared and ashamed but . . . I'm sorry Fluttercruel, that's how I feel. I'm sorry. If I knew at the time I could have made you into a filly with your own body, so you could have your own life, and let what you learned and chose on your own help you grow instead of memories copied from me and what Discord made you be . . . I would have done that. Letting you have a FULL LIFE, instead of sharing mine and having nothing but the memories of another pony's foalhood. I'm sorry."
"Alright mom, I understand. I forgive you. For what it's worth, if who I am now had been in your shoes when we first met? I'd have done what you threatened to do AT THE START and just have Twilight erase me from existence. Rather than give me a chance to do all the awful things I threatened I'd do."
"Thank you dear . . . " Fluttershy whispered, crying a little.
-
The girls all shuddered after seeing their twisted counterparts of that world.
"So!" Rarity said, hoping to change the topic to something more pleasant, "Pinkie Pie! Why don't you show us that lovely what if machine again?"
"Oh! Okay! In fact I conveniently recorded a really good one."
PInkie Pie heard the blank pup growl.
"That is! I think I can get it back if I ask it REALLY nicely! Let's see-"
Five minutes later, Rarity was saying.
"That first world showed us one where we had different cutie marks, but were still Element Bearers. Applejack, you told me once about another 'you' that bore my Element. Did you ever see another 'me' that bore yours?"
"You, honesty?" Rainbow Dash snorted. "No offense, Rarity, but given some of the 'little white lies' you've told, I can't see honesty even glancing at you -- hmmph!" She glared at Twilight Sparkle, whose horn glowed the same color of the gag that covered her muzzle.
"Manners, Dash," she said primly. She looked at the palomino. "I'm curious myself, Applejack."
"Hmm," Applejack rubbed her chin, pondering. "Well, Ah think Ah do remember one. But Rarity weren't no designer in that world." She looked over at Pinkie Pie "Say, can your fancy-schmancy What-If machine show us the world where Rarity became Honesty?"
Pinkie Pie was already cranking the machine up. She recoiled as an image of Nightmare Moon appeared, her mane done up in something like a beehive (Rarity shuddered) and laughing maniacally. Behind her appeared what looked like a cheaply-done castle set.
"A-HAHAHA! And remember to tune in next week on 'Monday Nightmares with Nightmare Moon', when we'll be showing --" The scene vanished as Pinkie gave the machine a whack with her hoof.
"No, we want Rarity as Honesty, not that!"
The screen cleared to show Rarity, their Rarity, standing and facing another her with a shorter mane and tail and a cutie mark of two crossed rapiers over a fencing mask. Their Rarity had her hoof-sewn saddlebags with her. The other bore a pair of fine horn-fencing blades, held point downwards in the safe position. Both mares glared at each other.
"Wha-aa-at?" Th first Rarity said, looking horrified. "Are you supposed to be me? The very idea! Me, as some, some roughneck who spends all her time playing with toy swords," the other 'her' snorted and scraped a hoof against the ground, "rather than making anything of true beauty and value..." She broke off as crossed-blades Rarity stomped forward.
"Me a roughneck?!?" She tossed her head back, and even in that her grace and control was evident. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, you've probably never lifted anything heavier than the brush you use on that mane of yours! And I know you'd never have the integrity to admit that somepony like Prince Blueblood actually scored a victory over you in the fencing circle, when even his own aunt was hoping you'd claim the victory to get him to admit he wasn't the best horn-fencer in Equestria! You can't take that from me."
The two mares glared at each other, shoving their heads against each other so hard it looked like their horns would pierce each others' skulls as the screen faded.
Rarity looked around at her friends. "That Generosity wasn't me, but in finishing school, I did practice horn-fencing to learn control and grace. Also to satisfy my father and his desire for me to learn some sort of a competitive sport." She shook her head. "I stopped after I accidentally put a sharpened foil through a friend's foreleg. She recovered, but still..." The elegant mare shuddered.
"Ah guess the other 'you' never did or decided ta keep on fencing anyway," Applejack said. Rarity nodded. AJ looked past her and said, "Aw, for! Rainbow Dash, what the hay are ya doing with the What-If machine?"
"I wanna get that one Nightmare Moon back," she said, as she shook the device and knocked on it. She looked at her disbelieving friends. "What? I want to see if the next movie is going to be Invasion of the Pony Rustlers. I love that one!"
-
The Blank Wolf Pup licked the last of the cake frosting from its muzzle, and watched the ponies share their stories, curious. “Why did I come to this place?” It paced the room, unseen and unremembered, by most at least. “What drew me here? This is a place of might-bes and could-have-beens. The Wolf has no purpose here.” Its flicking tail froze. “I am a might-be.”
The Blank Wolf was… had been… a thing with a purpose. Prowl the world and keep it whole. Erase all that did not belong, without question or pity or regret. But the Wolf had hesitated, faced with a pony who did not belong, and yet held overwhelming chaos in check by his very existence. The Wolf could not abandon a hunt, though, no matter the reason, not even when Harmony herself opposed it, and the Wolf was destroyed.
The Pup whined softly, wishing that things could have been different, and puzzled that he could wish so. Was this the future? Would the Blank Wolf learn… discretion? Or would the new Wolf be the same as the old, or even more unyielding? It hadn’t been decided yet.
The orange pony, the one with the Truth in her eyes, had nearly noticed him several times, but he resolved to sit quietly and listen anyway, very patient for a pup. Perhaps he would learn something.
-
-
The What-If Machine buzzed and flickered on.
"Hey look!" Rainbow Dash said, "Let's see if it shows us something awesome this time too! I never thought me with a butterfly cutie mark could still be badflank, no offense Fluttershy."
"None taken."
"Let's just hope it still shows us something NICE instead of something dark and depressing." Pinkie Pie said, "You BETTER NOT!" Pinkie Pie warned.
"I must say Applejack, you took seeing a prime and proper version of yourself rather well." Rarity said.
"Ah have experience remember? Ah'm impressed ya took seein' lightnin' you so well."
"She's still an artist and still a generous pony. That's all I need to know."
"I think I was pretty cool as an Apple!" Pinkie Pie said.
"You? An Apple Pinkie Pie? I gotta say I'd never see THAT coming." AJ said.
"You were fun as a party pony Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie grinned.
"Uh, I'll stick to animals instead of ponies, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF YOU! OR ANYPONY! REALLY!"
"The more things changed." Twilight said.
"THe more things stay the same." Spike said.
"SPIKE?! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!"
"Uh, Trixie let him in." Trixie said her eyes shifting, not wanting to give away her grandest performance with Discord. "You were all distracted by Discord at the time."
"Oh, right." Twilight nodded. This place had a odd habit of making her head feel funny.
Still, she didn't regret giving Pinkie Pie some time with Minty again.
The what-if machine powered up, and actually looked like it was going to overhead.
"Pinkie Pie, if that machine explodes and tears a hole in the universe forcing us to play out different fantasy scenarios of ours-"
"Don't be silly Twilight, that isn't until next time."
"WHAT?!"
"Or not! Depends on what our viewers want!"
Then the screen flickered on, showing four of the mane six on a large grassy field with Spike, waiting for Princess Celestia and a special guest.
The special guest turned out to be.
"DISCORD?!" Indeed, it was Discord, still a statue however.
Celestia talked about reforming the villain.
The ponies' on the screen had pretty much the exact same opinion as the ponies watching. That Celestia must have hit her head, very, very, VERY HARD.
Half an hour later, seven ponies and one dragon sat there with their jaws hitting the floor and their eyes pin pricks.
They could only stare in silence as the what-if machine flickered off.
"Well, Trixie thinks maybe THAT Discord wasn't as horribly evil as OUR Discord?"
Rarity spoke, "Actually darling, I'd say they were equally awful."
"Well, that AJ was a lot more polite than Ah'd have been, Ah'd have just introduced that beaver's hinny to my hoof and told 'em to skedaddle."
"Applejack!"
"Sorry Fluttershy, but a mare's gotta protect her family. And Ah owe it to Bloomberge's siblings."
'Cruel asked. "Where was I? I . . . I don't EXIST in that universe?"
"Well, Trixie wasn't there either . . . does that mean Trixie isn't friends with you in that world?"
"I . . . I can't believe this." Twilight Sparkle said. "There's no way. FLUTTERSHY! YOU reformed Discord?!"
"Well . . . I think there a lot stuff we didn't see, it felt like we only saw maybe half of what we should have seen and . .. . maybe he's simply never had a friend before?"
"He's had friends! He's been in love! He's had family! And he stabbed them all in the back! It makes no sense . . . okay it's Discord! But . . . but . . . "
"Uh, maybe I reminded him of what it was like to HAVE friends and family then, and he realized that those weren't things he wanted to live without after all?"
"BUt . . . but . . . but . . . AAAGH!" Twilight Sparkle felt a headache coming on.
Pinkie Pie thought, 'Wow, and I expected the shadow who writes to be the one who'd have a mental break down at Discord turning over a new leaf. I hope they just don't turn him evil again later, that would feel like a big cheat, like if we lost the Elements just so the writers didn't have to keep explaining us not using them for everything.'
Spike twiddled his thumbs, "So uh, what now? Do we tell Celestia about this or something?"
Pinkie Pie said, "Silly Spike, everything that happens here is non-canon remember? That means nothing we do here can effect the rest of the universe."
"Really?" Spike then kissed Rarity on the lips. Rarity gasped and trotted back some.
Rainbow said, "I gotta say Fluttershy, YOU? Getting DISCORD to actually do something NICE? Well . . . I guess it's not THAT crazy. After all, you raised a PIECE of Discord to be a good and nice pony, so I guess it's not that weird."
Fluttercruel showed all her newfound maturity by holding her tongue.
The entire universe rumbled, like a fundamental law of the universe, OF EVERY UNIVERSE, had changed somehow.
There was a knock at the door.
"Fluttershy will answer this door." Called out the voice behind.
Without even thinking, the other ponies let Fluttershy be the one to answer, forgetting her nervousness for once.
She gasped, outside the non-canon studio was a pale blue unicorn. She wore a dirty brown hooded cloak, her eyes were hidden by her name. And her horn was broken.
"H-hello?" Fluttershy gasped.
" For the first time in existence. I have been moved. You have done, what I, My Husband, my children, and my in-laws have been unable to do. To every Fluttershy in existence who bear the Element of Kindness and had ended the untempered and tainted chaos of my son . . . you have moved My Heart. Such a thing should have been impossible. I should not have a heart. But you have moved it all the same. You are the first mortal, first concept, to ever have done so."
"Uh, I think, you might maybe, uh, that is . . ." Fluttershy felt a little small. "Gotten the wrong Fluttershy?"
"I have not. I speak to all Fluttershies across creation who hold the Element of Kindness and have tempered what I and my family and in-laws, could not. I have been touched for the first time in all creation." The unicorn bowed. "You are the only existence to ever been within My Debt. I thank you."
"Uh, have a nice day then."
Twilight gasped and rushed to Fluttershy's side, hoping to sacrifice herself somehow from her friend being erased from the memory of everypony!
Instead the middle aged mare said, "I believe I will." The mare turned around and walked away, leaving icy foot prints.
Button Mash bumped into the mare, and said, "Excuse me!"
"You're excused." And Button Mash happily went on his way.
The blank wolf pup gasped, had Entropy just NOT erased a pony from reality for speaking a statement about Her? Not once, but TWICE?
'W-w-w-wait! If there's ONLY ONE of Discord's mom across all the various universes, if they're ALL the SAME Discord's mom . . . does that mean . . . that Discord's mom just thanked every Fluttershy in existence FOR REAL for getting Heart World Discord to be just a little bit nicer? But . . . but . . . but . . . "Did something CANON just happened here?!" Pinkie Pie fainted.
-
Only the blank wolf pup saw the spirit as it slipped in through the cracks towards Rarity. It was a disgusting, bloated thing that might have once been in the shape of an equine, but now was little more than a embodiment of power. This was something for whom suffering humiliation, being over powered, being made to kneel, being out smarted, being out witted, by anything other than its own kind: simply for it went against the law of physics. Indeed, if one of its kind in its native universe WAS somehow truly and indeed humiliated by one that was not of its own kind, the universe would break in two.
Much like if a Mary Sue in its native universe was PROVEN WRONG by one that was not itself or another Sue and not something done to make the Mary Sue appear MORE sympathetic by beating itself up over it.
And now it slipped into Rarity, or rather tried to, Rarity's soul was several sizes too small for it now, it had become overweight and heavy. It was a caterpillar that had refused to become a butterfly, or THOUGHT IT HAD become one, but refused to see itself for what it was. It would destroy Rarity's spirit trying to fit inside it.
Rarity gasped as countless memories that couldn't fit into her brain were being force fed her, when she was being made nothing more than an empty vessel but for the will of the thing that would possess her. The wolf pup's instincts took over as it snarled, and leap at the bloated thing, and devoured it.
Rarity felt dizzy for a second, but even in this place of what-if's and 'could have beens' and 'could be's' she was cleansed of the influence of the thing that had just tried to use her as a medium to bend this small universe to its whims. The things' last thoughts were, in a mockery of Rarity's own voice was, 'But . . . repeaters never lose!'
'Well, that's one less Possession Sue disguised as a Peggy Sue.' Pinkie Pie thought, having recovered and seeing the exchange. She gave the blank puppy another cupcake.
-
The What-If Machine's screen started to flicker again. Pinkie Pie gave it a whack with her hoof. "Geeze, what's wrong with this thing? It's like it's getting it's signals mixed!"
The others noticed and gathered around, all save Twilight, who suddenly looked pale as she saw out what was on the screen first.
"Oh dear, now what is it going to show us?" Fluttershy said. "Not some other horrible world, is it?" She was about to say more when Twilight appeared before her, having teleported between her and the others, blocking their view of the screen. Fluttershy stepped back with a startled eep!
"Heh!" Twilight said. "That's right, it just wants to show us something horrible and awful and utterly humiliating," the last words came out in a near whisper. "Best to leave it alone, and..." Her voice trailed off as the girls heard Twilight speaking again, but this time her voice came from the What-If Machine.
"Hey, I wanna see this!" Rainbow Dash said as she scooped Twilight up and held her back so they could all see the machine's screen. "Yeesh, Twi, what could be so bad..." Her voice trailed off as they saw what could be 'so bad'.
On the screen, a pair of Nightmares stood. One showed the familiar purple eyelids and ebon coat of Nightmare Moon. The other displayed a mane and tail of raw flames, along with a coat the angry red of a coal. her cutie mark showed a blazing sun. Both wore barding and matched terrified expressions as they bowed before and stared at a massive iron throne before them, upon which was seated...
"Can't be!" Applejack said.
"No way!" Rainbow Dash said.
Pinkie Pie said nothing. She just laughed to see their friend, Twilight Sparkle, looking rather embarrassed, seated on the Nightmare Throne and receiving the accolades of the panic-stricken nightmares. Now that the girls looked, they could see what looked like more nightmares, no two of them the same, cringing in the background. Murals also covered the walls, showing first one nightmare. Then two, the two they saw before them And then hundreds.
"What the hay, Twilight!" Rarity said, staring at her friend in disbelief. "Pardon my language, dear, but is THIS another world? And if so, then why are you there?"
"Well, if everypony wants to know," Twilight said, rubbing along her mane with one hoof. "A little while back when we had that nice long quiet streak, I decided to try out some old dimension-hopping spells I found in an old grimoire by Starswirl the Bearded. Only one of the ones I tried still worked, and that one, well it lead to..." She pointed at the screen.
The girls watched and listened.
"Oh terrible guest from afar, most terrible," the red nightmare gulped, and choked out, "pony, please, please tell us what you want so we can give it to you and..."
"And you can go back to your own world and never frighten us again!" Nightmare Moon finished for her. Twilight looked at them and frowned unhappily. Both the nightmares covered their faces with their forelegs and quaked.
"I found out that in that world, both the sisters went Nightmare to protect their ponies against enemies," Twilight said. "But it wasn't enough, so they decided to turn ALL ponies into nightmares. After a few hundred years, nopony could ever remember being anything else, but figured they'd always been nightmares. By the time I got there, no real enemies had been left for centuries, but the nightmares didn't remember why it all happened, they just had vague stories about how once there were creatures called 'ponies' and they became nightmares to get away from them. Even the Princesses, or the 'Queens as they called themselves, forgot. So they decided that ponies were even more fearsome then nightmares, and..." She pointed at the screen.
'Umm," Twilight said where she sat on the throne, holding a barbed iron scepter in her hooves, "Okay, I'll return to my world, and never come back." The Queens looked hopeful until she said, "But only if you agree to stop terrorizing dragons and griffins and Diamond Dogs, they all stopped even thinking about preying on you centuries ago." The nightmares looked dismayed but nodded. "And, you have to let Princess Flutterwing and her flutter ponies alone when they try to make you laugh. They just want you to not be always thinking of how to scare everypony all the time." The Queens looked sick. Twilight just cocked an eyebrow as her horn began to glow. The nightmares buried their faces against the ground again.
"Yay!" Came a familiar-sounding voice from offscreen. The ponies stared to see a pony very like their Pinkie Pie, save only her butterfly-like wings, come flying out to drop down between the Queens. Then to their horror a horde of other winged ponies that all looked like Princess Flutterwing came fluttering out to land on and around the nightmares, laughing and singing and tickling the nightmares, who fled in all directions. Setting her forelegs over the necks of the disgusted Queens, she said, "It'll be great now that we can laugh and have parties and celebrate holidays other than Nightmare Night! I mean, I like that too, but there's First Snow and Harvestfeast and Midwinter Morn and..." She took a deep breath, "And I've got to have parties for all of them that can make up for the last 500 years of not celebrating any!" Behind them, Twilight quickly opened a shimmering hole in reality and slipped through as the scene faded.
Twilight looked at her friends. Pinkie looked delighted. The rest looked shocked.
"So... many.. Pinkie Pies..." Dash moaned. "And... they could... FLY."
-
The what if machine flickered again. This time it showed a Fluttershy with little orange wings. And a Scootaloo with large yellow wings zipping about everything. "I CAN FLY! I CAN FLY! I CAN FLY! I CAN FLY!"
Twilight on the screen flipped through her books, "Don't worry! I'll have this swap spell fixed in a minute!"
"I don't think there's much hurry Twilight." Rainbow Dash said pointing at Scootaloo.
"I CAN FLY! I CAN FLY! I CAN FLY!"
The screen flickered off.
Fluttershy was hugging her wings.
"OKAY! Everypony make sure Scootaloo wasn't peeking through a window!" Twilight said.
-
"Well, what's next?"
"My sister said she would be dropping over later," Rarity said to Pinkie Pie. "Something about showing the plant she grew to get a cutie mark in botany."
"Beg pardon," a voice said from the door, "but is it okay for me to come in?" The Mane Six turned and saw a unicorn mare there, one with a yellow coat and multicolored mane and tail, purple and orange and yellow. Her build reminded them slightly of Twilight, but she bore an ice cream cone cutie mark. "I just overheard somepony inside, and I was wondering what was going on."
"Oh, sure, Sweetcream Scoops!" Pinkie said, giving a hop forward. At that name Applejack and Rarity both lowered their ears and snorted. Sweetcream flinched, but Pinkie said, "Gee, I don't think we've ever had a background pony here before! I don't think I've ever even seen you outside of that kissing booth you run at every Ponyville fair and all those times you made eyes at Big Mac..."
"Yeah," Applejack said, forcing her way past Pinkie to glare at the mare. Sweetcream grinned nervously as the angry palomino said, "Ah don't mind y'all kissin' every stallion in town that'll have ya and getting a whole bucket of bits, that's yore business, but when ya chase ma brother so that he's afraid ta go ta town for a week afterwards that's too much!"
"I did what?" Sweetcream said. "I mean, sorry about that. I didn't mean anything by it. But really, all the good stallions seem to be taken here in Ponyville, and well, I thought he'd be pleased a mare was chasing him." As she said it her eyes seemed lit from within. Applejack to her surprise found her anger fading.
"Oh well," she said wondering why she said it, "Ah guess it's okay. Ya didn't mean nothin' by it." Her friends looked at her in confusion as she said, "An' pretty much all the good stallions in Ponyville are taken, anyway..."
Rarity came forward as well. Sweetcream looked at her. "Oh, Rarity, what did I ever do to you?"
"You know very well what you did," Rarity said with a sniff. "Snatching that stallion I was dating at the last town celebration and kissing him like that in front of everypony! He talked about you the rest of the night!" At Sweetcream's confused look, Rarity's horn glowed as her magic worked, showing an image of Sweetcream all but devouring a stunned stallion with a smoldering kiss before the gaze of a furious Rarity. Beside the amorous mare, a large bucket overflowed with golden bits. Sweetcream stared in shock, as did the rest of the Mane Six.
"Oh, my," Fluttershy said. "Sweetcream, you got all of that just for kissing?"
"I did?" Sweetcream said. "Her Majesty said these lesser ponies didn't have lives -- I mean, yes, I did! But all those bits? Just for smooching? And the love?" She licked her lips and sighed deeply. "I ought to try it sometime..."
"Sweetcream," Applejack said, marching around in front of the mare to look her in the eyes, "What the hay are ya talking about? It's like ya don't even know who ya are, and..." As their gazes locked, Applejack's and Sweetcream's eyes both went wide with shock. AJ recovered first and yelled, "Ya ain't a pony!"
"Ooh," Pinkie Pie said, "is she a Diamond Dog disguised in a pony suit?" Twilight and Rarity and Rainbow Dash all shuddered at the memories of variety shows past those words brought up. Pinkie added, "Because gee, if she is..." She looked past her. "Oh, hi, Sweetcream! Come here and say Hi to Sweetcream!" Every pony there turned and stared to see another Sweetcream, this one looking a mess like she'd been tied in a closet for days, glaring at the first Sweetcream.
"YOU!" She whinnied in fury as she charged. "You monster! You, you phony!" She dove onto the cringing other-Sweetcream. "I'LL GRIND YOU UP FOR ICE CREAM!" The two mares vanished into a dustball of violence, with the cries of one changing from equine whinnies and neighs to insect-like chittering snarls. One Sweetcream hurled herself back from the fight, transforming as she did into a buglike creature.
The Mane Six gasped.
"A changeling!" Twilight Sparkle yelled, and then in wonderment,, "Wait, how do I know what a 'Changeling' is?"
"Beats me," Pinkie Pie said, rolling her eyes skywards, kicking a script labeled 'MLP:FiM Season 2: A Canterlot Wedding' under a table and out of sight.
"Never mind!" Applejack whipped her lasso off. "Catch that whatever it is and..." Her voice trailed off as the 'changeling' stared at her and growled.
"No! Help me escape!" Twilight charged her horn for a blast, only for AJ's lasso to fall around her neck and yank her head to the side. Dash yelled and dove for cover as the blast almost hit her, leaving a scorch mark on the floor. The bug-pony sneered and flew for the door off to the right, escaped through it -- and gave a cut-short scream. The ponies stared in confusion.
"Yeesh, AJ, what's the matter with you?" AJ just gave Dash a confused look in return. Meanwhile Rarity's horn glowed and pulled a wagon into the room, one holding an immense flowerpot featuring an even more immense plant with odd, almost fanged hinged leaves. One of which was closed on a struggling form.
"'Dear big sis'," she read. "I'll be by later. Until then, please take good care of the Giant Everfree Fly-Trap we raised. PS Please don't let it near any ponies, it might try eating them." The plant seemed to somehow impossibly lick the non-existent lips of its leaves at them. The ponies all backed away as Rarity finished with, "PPS, please don't ask how we know it likes to eat ponies. Your completely innocent little sister, Sweetie Belle.'"
-
Rarity sighed, "Fluttershy, use your stare on the pony eating plant to make it cough up its lunch."
Fluttershy gasped, "W-what?! But I-"
"Please don't tell me darling you have scruples about using the stare on a pony eating plant."
"Uh, no, it's not that, I'm just not sure if the stare would work, it doesn't have eyes."
"Plants normally don't have teeth either and yet this one is grinning right at us." Indeed it was. "I'd rather cut it down, burning the kindling, and lace the ground with salt, but I won't want to damage Sweetie Belle's grades."
"Oh! Okay. So, ahem." Fluttershy used the stare. The plant seemed to just ignore her. Then Pinkie Pie put glasses on the pony eating plant, now it did shudder and limply released whoever had been struggling inside it. That was-
-
With a snort and a whinny, a familiar blue-coated earth pony with a pink mane and tail spilled out, covered in the plant's digestive fluids. "Ahh! That was terrible!" She shook herself and looked at her saviors, saying in a musical Stalliongrad accent, "Miss Rarity, Miss Fluttershy, thank you so much!"
Rarity's eyes widened. "Lotus? Is that you? How did you get in there? And whatever happened to that strange bug-pony -" Her face hardened, and she snatched Lotus up with her magic. She ignored her whinnies and a sudden grab by the plant to hang her before Applejack. "Applejack, just who is this, really?"
Applejack locked gazes with the confused Lotus. Green eyes looked intently into confused blue ones. Meanwhile the plant started tugging its roots free of the immense flowerpot it was in, until Twilight used her horn to stuff it back down inside the pot. As she did, she noticed it had other pods like the one they'd freed Lotus from, and at least one of them looked full.
"It's Lotus, alright," Applejack said. Rarity slowly lowered her to the ground as AJ said, "This won't make any sort o' sense, but we had some- thing, in here earlier, that looked like a pony but weren't. So we wanted ta make sure you were you." As Lotus stared at her in mingled confusion and suspicion, Applejack grinned nervously. Rarity stepped forward.
"Lotus, darling, how did you get inside that monstrosity?" She pointed a hoof at the plant and jerked it back as the arboreal abomination snapped at her.
"I found it at your Boutique,, Miss Rarity," the lovely Lotus said. "It was sitting in the middle of the showroom. I wondered what it was and when I stepped closer, it..." She shuddered. "Oh, but I did find this beside it right before it tried to eat me." She held out a magnificent and very fashionable hoof-sewn saddlebag such as schoolfillies carried.
"Why, that looks like Sweetie's", Rarity said. "My little sister said she was going to show it off to me and..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed one more swollen pod on the plant, bulging as its contents fought to escape. "Sweetie Belle!" She charged the plant. It snatched at her, but she dodged aside and set a pair of very sharp shears to its main stalk. She closed them enough to draw sap. The plant froze. Rarity said in a tone that seethed, "Set my little sister free, now, or else I turn you into a salad!"
The plant seemed to scowl, and them with a spitting sound it shot a small marshmallow white unicorn filly into Rarity hooves. Rarity snatched her sister back out of range. As she did, a glass cover sent down, cutting the plant off from the ponies. It somehow snapped one of its vines in a 'Oh. drat' gesture.
Rarity frantically cuddled her stunned little sis as her friends warily approached the plant. It scraped uselessly at the glass. Lotus hung back by Rarity.
"Sweetie! What were you thinking?" The unicorn mare glared at her little sister. "You almost ended up plant food! And where did you get that monstrosity from, anyway?"
"From the bog in the Everfree," Sweetie said, giving the plant a dirty look. "I told Apple Bloom we didn't need to feed it fifty pounds of the plant food her family used to get their biggest prize apples!" Rarity gasped and shot a glare at Applejack. The palomino just looked embarrassed. Sweetie just squirmed free of her sister's grip.
"Lotus, dear," Rarity said, "could you please escort Sweetie back to my shop?" When the blue mare gave her a wary look -- the last time she'd nearly been devoured, after all -- Rarity added, "I'll tip twice my normal amount for a month, I swear." That seemed to please Lotus, and she left together with the filly.
Meanwhile the plant strained at the glass containing it. It looked hungrily at the ponies. Somehow.
"Okay," Rainbow Dash said. "Now how do we get rid of this thing so we can get back to the normal show?"
-
"I say we kill it with fire!" offered Fluttercruel.
"Oh no, we couldn't do that," said Fluttershy, immediately taking control again. "It won't hurt anypony else if we just put it back in the Everfree Forest, where it belongs."
"But it nearly killed Sweetie Belle! You can't say that plant doesn't deserve it."
"It's only following its instincts. Chopping it up, or.. or... setting it on fire won't teach it anything!"
Rainbow Dash wobbled, a little dizzy. "Why does the camera keep jumping back and forth like that?"
Twilight grimaced. "Well, I suppose I could teleport it back where it belongs..."
Pinkie Pie gasped dramatically. "But Twilight, if you solve our problems with magic, then something might go inexplicably and ironically wrong, and then you might have to write a friendship report to Princess Celestia about not solving all your problems with magic a half hour later!"
Twilight blinked. "Pinkie, what are you talking about? That... hardly ever happens... any more..." She tapped her hooves together, embarrassed. "recently..."
Pinkie Pie turned to the Blank Wolf Pup, grinning a notch too wide with an audible squeak. "I bet you could make it go away, Blankie."
The Pup glanced up from gnawing at his flank. "Absolutely not. I prey on unnatural insertions only. And... please don't call me Blankie."
Applejack leaned towards Rarity. "Psst. Pinkie Pie is talking to thin air again."
Rarity shrugged. "So tell me what else is new, darling."
Applejack frowned and looked more closely. "What in tarnation? Did somepony get a new pet?" AJ was strangely ignored.
Rarity said, "Fluttershy darling, no offense, but what is to keep it from simply up lifting its roots and simply WALKING back to Ponyville to eat more ponies?" Rarity asked. "Not to mention telling all of its friends where there is a large concentration of ponies for them all to snack on?"
Fluttershy said, "Well the crusaders made it grow extra large right? That means the rest can't be that dangerous. Right?"
Twilight said, "Its unnatural size now makes it a game breaker if it was released back into Everfree, it could completely unbalance the ecology there."
Under the glass container the the Giant Everfree Flytrap took out paper signs from nowhere reading,
"My natural prey is ponies."
"You don't want me to go hungry do you?"
"Do you?"
"No I know you don't."
"You're too kind for that."
"You wouldn't let a poor innocent animal starve would you?"
Twilight stared and snapped, "You're not an animal! You're a plant! They're fundamentally different life forms!"
The giant pony eating plant quickly, rewrote it's sign.
"You wouldn't let a poor innocent animal plant starve would you?"
"No you wouldn't."
"You're too kind for that."
"Come to me."
"Come to me."
"Feed me."
"Offer up your life to me."
"It is the kind thing to do."
"Kind thing to do." Fluttershy said in a monotone as she mindlessly trotted towards the pony eating plant, thankfully it still had the glass container over it, and so Fluttershy was mindlessly walking into the glass with her forehead pressed against it as her hooves kept marching forward.
Fluttercruel took control again and slapped herself in the face, Fluttershy snapped out of it. Fluttershy held her head shook in confusion at what had just happened.
AJ said put a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder, "Fluttershy, Ah'm a farmer, trust me on this, when you've got weeds, the only right thing ta do is pull'em out and use'em for compost."
Pinkie Pie saw the camera battery was running low. "Uh-oh! Gotta replace the batteries! Just a second!"