//------------------------------// // Fluttershy and Discord // Story: Chaotic Neutral // by C-Puff //------------------------------// Chapter 22 The sun was setting outside. The sky had started to turn from yellows to reds. A light breeze was blowing up along the cliffside. It tugged at the herbs dangling outside the cottage and rustled the thatch of the roof. Swallows swooped and dive-bombed into the gorge below to their clay nests, where they gave calls of goodnight to each other. Discord walked a few paces away from the front door before he stopped. He realised he had nowhere to walk to, as nothing but open landscape stretched in front of him. He turned around and marched back the other way. He considered the roof of the cottage for a moment, but with an injured wing he could not fly up to perch on it, and he did not have the energy to bother trying to climb it. Frustrated, and with no other options of where he could go to hide from the group of ponies, he walked around the cottage to the cliff outcrop that served as its garden. In the cooling air, the grass felt warm from the day's sun. He trudged across the wild lawn before flopping down near the cliff edge overlooking the slow moving stream below. He put his chin in his claw and glowered to himself, digging trenches in the soil with his lion claws irritably. He had hoped to avoid the others finding out what this mission meant to him personally as far as the whole 'spirit of chaos' thing went. Emphasis on the 'spirit'. He had been perfectly content with just complaining about not having powers and just leave it at that. Now the truth was out and, undoubtably, with it was going to come a ton of awkwardness, hoof pointing for not mentioning it sooner, complications and arguments over 'what they should do now' and a whole slew of other things that seemed to have no point other than to make him feel uncomfortable. He was already feeling out of sorts, he did not have much patience for ponies and their strange behaviour at the moment. But then again, if it had to be brought up eventually, it was perhaps better for it to have been brought up by a stranger. It saved him from having to tell anypony himself. At least they knew about it now, and they had actually looked rather alarmed by the news. Discord did not enjoy handling pony emotions. For as far back as he could stretch his memory, the only pony emotions he'd had to deal with before were pretty straight forward and easy to decipher. It mostly involved anger, fear and occasionally mass hysteria. But since he had been 'reformed' as they called it, and come to interact what he though of as 'the modern pony', he'd had to try and figure out how to handle being on the receiving end of all these other nitty gritty feelings. It would not have been so bad if he could figure out how he was suppose to react to them. Long ago he had come to accept that his existence was met with nothing but hate and fear. 'Chaos' had always been the answer to anything a pony said to or about him in the past. Turning things pink, changing them into marshmallows, altering gravity a little, that sort of thing. But now, it did not feel like the right response to everything anymore. He had lived his life being suspicious of pretty much everything and everypony. Now he found himself in the uncomfortable position of having to consider that their feelings about him might actually be genuine. Avoiding scenes like this was far easier than dealing with all of that confusion. 'They DID look shocked, though.' He thought to himself, plucking out blades of grass one by one. He did not like these awkward emotions and reactions to his personal wellbeing, but somewhere deep down, he had been putting off not saying anything for another reason as well. He had been afraid that, if they had learned the truth, they would not have reacted at all. He sighed, shaking grass from his claw as he wondered when exactly he had allowed such uncertainty to take root in him. “Uhm... Discord?” He flinched at the voice. Pushing himself up to a sit, he twisted his head backwards to blink at the figure of Fluttershy trotting over to him. At least she was alone. “Come to enjoy the evening air, my dear?” he said, turning to look at her properly as he shifted to make space for her. Fluttershy, however, did not sit down. She stood in place before him, rubbing one foreleg with the other and staring at the ground. “Uhm. No. No, not exactly.” “Pity,” Discord said, turning back to face the gorge. “It's rather nice weather for it.” There was a pause before he added; “Lots of birds around here. I suppose you could try and make some new friends. You spend so much of your time looking for the most ridiculous things to-” “Is what the troll woman said really true, Discord?” Fluttershy interrupted, an unusual action for her. “Will you really die if magic keeps fading away?” Discord said nothing, his frown settling back in place. Fluttershy waited for a few minutes before she walked closer, standing beside him. “I've noticed you seem to be acting a little... well... not yourself lately. Is it really because magic is getting weaker?” Fluttershy persisted. Discord grumbled something under his breath, lying down again as he glared at the gorge as if it had insulted him. Fluttershy did not need to guess what he meant by this. She took in a breath of air, too small to be a gasp, but too sharp to be anything else. She stammered out, “I... I see.” “I'm surprised our local Princess didn't realise it sooner,” Discord said casually. “Being so very good at magic and so absorbed in her books, you'd think she'd have put two and two together at some point. Then again, I have overestimated her before.” “Why didn't you tell us?” Fluttershy blurted out, staring at him with her large, honest eyes. “Discord, if I had known you were in so much trouble I would have-” “'Would have', what exactly?” he cocked an eyebrow at her. “No really, I'd love to hear the end of that sentence.” Fluttershy's gaze dropped as she tried to think. “I... I would have... I don't know... done something... I guess.” Discord scoffed, “There's nothing you can do about it, and you know that.” Fluttershy snapped up her gaze and shot him a frown. “But why couldn't you tell us?! Even if we can't do anything, if we at least knew, maybe we could've put our plans together better! Or maybe Twilight could've planned our trip so we'd get to Kerry Shire faster! Or we could've tried to think of a way to help you! Just... something!” Discord watched her in bemusement, resting his chin in his claw again. “Personally, I think that apart from a few minor hiccups, things have been going rather well for us so far. Better than just heading straight for the cult's little club house, finding it empty, and then not having anywhere to go from there. Wouldn't you agree, my dear?” “How long have you known about this?” Fluttershy asked accusingly. “Well, I've been thinking it might be something to actively worry about for a while now,” he said. “And how long has that been, exactly?” Fluttershy pressed. Discord looked slightly annoyed for a moment before answering, “When we got to Rainbow Falls and found it rather rainbow-less, I had started to suspect something was amiss. But I didn't give it much serious thought until more recently.” “That long?” Fluttershy looked almost pale. At this, Discord waved his paw at her dismissively, “It was just suspicions, mind you. I thought it was something that would take a considerable amount of time to actually start showing. At least until I found myself on the business end of that arrow. But by then it felt like a bit of a faux pa to bring it up after such an extended period of time.” “But why didn't you tell me?!” Fluttershy asked, putting her hooves to her chest. “You could have at least told me! If you didn't want the others to know I would've kept it a secret!” Her voice cracked. “Why couldn't you tell me?” Discord frowned at her. “I'm not so sure if the Royal Policer of Friendship would have been very pleased with the two of us keeping secrets from her.” Fluttershy gave her head a hard shake, “That's not why you didn't say anything! You'd probably enjoy annoying Twilight by keeping secrets from her!” She turned to stare at him again. “Why couldn't you tell me? I need you to be honest with me, Discord! I know you don't have much practice, but I need to know why you kept such an important thing from me!” “I was being honest,” Discord said, sounding offended. “There is nothing to be done about it, Fluttershy! At least nothing you yourself can do! What point would there be in telling you something you can do nothing about?! It's not your problem, after all.” “But we're suppose to be friends!” Fluttershy said. She was raising her voice which, he had to admit, was putting Discord on edge. “You're suppose to be able to trust me!” “I do trust you!” Discord said, much to his own surprise. “But I repeat; there is nothing you can do about it!” “But that's not the point!” Fluttershy said, sinking in place. “What about your feelings?!” “What are you talking about?” Discord pulled a face. “Aren't you upset?!” Fluttershy pushed, looking pained. “Aren't you angry or... or sad or... I don't know! Something?!” “I fail to see how-” “Because that's why you need to tell me these things!” Fluttershy interrupted again. “I can't help make you better maybe but... but I'm suppose to be your friend... I... I thought maybe... maybe at least...” she suddenly gave a sob, he forelegs raising to rub at her face, “...I don't want you to be alone... I... I thought I... could...” “Oh no no no no!” Discord flapped his paw and claw at her frantically. “No, don't do that! I don't know what to do when you do that!” “I thought... I thought I could be there for you... I thought we... Oh, Discord...” her futile attempts to try and wipe her tears disintegrated as she crossed her forelegs over her face and started to sob, heartbroken. Discord bit his bottom lip and looked around the garden with a panicky expression. What exactly he thought he'd find that could help is anypony's guess. Realising he was not going to find a solution to the situation, he was forced to focus back on the crying pony. He twisted his fingers a couple of times before he leaned forward and nudged her softly with his paw. “Fluttershy... er... Look, I did not mean for it to be malicious of me. In all honesty, I wasn't entirely sure how to...” he twisted his claw in the air, trying to think of the right word, “...approach the subject, shall we say?” Fluttershy didn't seem very comforted by this and Discord felt his ears drop. He leaned down on all fours so he could put his face closer to her's. “I never intended to upset anypony, least of all you, I swear. I am sorry, Fluttershy. Sincerely.” Fluttershy pulled her forelegs away from her face, gave him a gut wrenching look, and then put her forelegs around his neck and buried her face in his fur where she let loose with a fresh batch of sobs. Discord shifted slightly, staring at her with wide-eyed panic for a few moments before he reached forward and put his arms around her as well. Fluttershy dug herself deeper against him. “I'm... I'm so scared...!” she choked out. Discord opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't think of anything. He stroked her back instead, at a loss for what he could or should do. After a minute he tried to give her a grin but it was shaky at best. “It's not really all that bad, Fluttershy.” “How can you say that?” she pushed away to look him in the eye. “Discord, this is something that's going to kill you!” “Well... yes...” he nodded, “But I am, at my core, a being of chaos. And as much as you ponies may try, chaos isn't something you can kill. You may do all you can to remove it from the world, but it will always be somewhere. At the very least it will always find a home in ponies here,” he put a finger to her forehead. “and here.” he moved it to her chest. She shook her head wildly. “I don't care about that! It's you! You're the one who'll die! I don't care about chaos or magic or anything else like that! I care about you!” “Is it... really so bad?” Discord asked. There was hesitation in his voice. “Yes!” Fluttershy insisted. “So it's alright for, say, Twilight to outlive her friends, but it's not alright for me to do it to you?” he gave her a frown, but his heart wasn't in it. “I'm not going to be murdered!” Fluttershy broke into fresh sobs. “I'm going to have a life! You're going to be killed right in front of me! It's not the same thing!” Discord tried to think of a rebuttal but nothing came to mind. “Touché.” He grumbled. Fluttershy made a noise and buried herself against him again. “Oh Discord... I... I'm so scared for you!” her shoulders gave a sharp spasm. “I... I don't want you to die!” Discord's paw froze against her back at this. After a moment he turned to look down at her again. “Pardon?” She looked up. “I don't... don't want you to die! Discord I... I don't... I don't want...” she couldn't get the rest out and hid her face again. There was a very long pause after this. Fluttershy's sobs calmed down after a while. She continued to cry, but her tears slowed and her breathing became less frantic. “Nopony's ever said anything like that to me before,” Discord said from somewhere above her. He quickly added; “Cliche as that statement may be, it's the truth,” he lowered his head and she felt him press his forehead against her's. “Nopony's ever said that to me.” She turned her eyes to meet his. His gaze was uncharacteristically sincere, and open. “Why didn't you tell me you were in trouble?” she asked again, her voice soft and broken. Discord blinked at her before he gave a long sigh. His ears lowered as he looked away. “...I was afraid nopony would care.” he said as he closed his eyes. Fluttershy sunk against him as she took deep breaths, calming down. She tightened her grip. “I care.” She nuzzled her face against him. “You're my very important friend.” She felt him shift his weight before he twisted himself snake-like around her and hugged her back. “I'm afraid something bad will happen. Something to you.” He pulled his face back so he could look her in the eye again. “Fluttershy, the root of this problem is so much deeper than I anticipated it to be. The others seem convinced that dealing with a single pony means it will be easy. But by the sounds of it he still has his magic, and I can feel my strength starting to fail me. I can't act the way I know how to meet this threat, and I don't know how to protect you or anypony else any other way!” “None of us will face what'll happen alone.” Fluttershy said softly, her eyes never leaving his. “I don't think it'll be easy, because it never really is. But we can face this pony and his magic even if we don't have any ourselves. As long as we do it together.” Discord gave a disheartened noise at this. “Because 'friendship is magic' or whatever slogan your little clique likes to use?” “Yes, but not in the way you think,” Fluttershy said gently. “With the elements of harmony, we use the power of our friendship to cause magic to happen, but that's not what I meant. I could never do any of this if I didn't have friends to help me. Not because they have magic, or because they're faster or stronger than I am. But because they are somepony I can care about, and caring about others gives me my own strength. And, because of their kind hearts, they choose to care about me too. And the fact that ponies can and even want to feel this way about each other, that is what's so magic about it.” “It sounds all very nice and greeting-card like when you put it like that, but that is also why I'm not sure I can believe it.” Discord said. The brief moment of renewed skepticism faded though as he lowered his gaze again. “I'm afraid I don't have much faith in it as you seem to.” Fluttershy pressed her face against him again, closing her eyes. “You don't need to be afraid Discord. The others may not know you like I do, but I can see they want to try. But even if they or any other pony in the world didn't want to, I am your friend. I want to help you. And I don't want anything to happen to you.” Discord's grip strengthened as he tensed. “I care about you so very much... I don't want anypony to get hurt. And I am afraid they will,” he said with what sounded like considerable effort. “But somehow... even more than that... I am afraid we will fail. And when we do, nopony will give me a second thought, or even a sideways glance. Suddenly, and I don't even know why, I... I'm afraid of being alone.” Fluttershy said nothing to this, resting her head on his neck. He was warm and soft. His grip felt strong as he clung to her. The deep, comforting rhythm of a heart beat against her as she listened to him breathe. “I'm sorry I got upset,” Fluttershy said, her voice hoarse, but soft and calm. “Don't worry. I'll be ok. We'll all be alright in the end. I won't let you be alone. You're my dear dear friend, and I love you. You won't be alone, no matter what happens.” Discord said nothing to this, a twitch running through him. Fluttershy nuzzled him gently. “It's alright. It'll be ok, Discord. Don't cry.”