The Poisoned Barb

by ManlyDerp


Prologue: Quiet {RE-EDITED}

A journal lies before me, empty and devoid of life.

A quill rests in my claw, dry and devoid of ink.

A long night awaits me, calm and devoid of noise.

A still mind lies within me, at peace and...

... devoid of ideas.

A sigh escapes my lips as I lay my head sideways upon the desk, my emerald eyes staring at the tome before me with a look of indifference. I was so excited to finally have the time to do this too, to finally write my tale. I prepared all day long for this, going as far as to speed up the chores and inhale, not eat, my dinner; not unlike an impatient child in a hurry to return to her new toy... Which, I suppose, isn't too inaccurate a description in my case.

Was Dusk any the wiser to my sudden immature behavior? No, I had accounted for that little problem as well in my master plan.

One does not simply give Dusk Shine a new book without good cause, after all.

So then; no chores, no hunger pains, no ponies. I had done everything I could have possibly done to ensure that I would have plenty of time, and zero distractions, for this journal tonight. Everything...

...

... Everything except writer's block, that is. 

I hadn't anticipated it to rear its ugly head.

"Bleh," I silently moan as I rub my eyes with a balled-up claw. This was something I should have expected; something I should have booked on in my preparations to write this... book.

"... Maybe this is fine," I speak aloud in the silence of the room. And maybe I was right. One doesn't write an entire novel in one night, after all. One can't just write the story of their life in a single sitting.

How would I even start such a thing, now that I think about it?

"Well... how does a normal person usually start a memoir, Barb?" I ask myself.

"They would start at the beginning," I reply, not feeling silly in the slightest. Nope, not at all. "Well, not the literal beginning, I suppose. Nopony can remember their birth. They aren't like me."

...

... Ideas begin to swirl around in my head as my mind takes a hold of those scant few words and runs wild with them. 'They aren't like me...'

"... That's the whole reason you're writing this thing, dummy," I scold my stupid, unobservant self.

Two lifetimes later and I still can't see the forest for the trees.

"Well then, with that settled," I crack my magenta knuckles and lean forward, my mind ablaze with ideas. "Let's begin."

With newfound inspiration burning; I dip my quill into my readily available inkwell, open up the journal, and join the two items together.

The room is soon filled with the sound of quiet scribbling and nothing more.

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To the brilliant pony or creature who deciphers this journal, congratulations. You will be the first of your kind to have ever read the English language. To Dusk Shine, if you turn out to be the brilliant pony who deciphered this; it is impolite to read a lady's private thoughts. I know that you’ve been taught better than that. Please, I implore you to stop reading now. If you were to read any further, your opinion of me would be forever altered. You would no longer be able to look at me the same way, and I don't think my heart would be able to take the strain such a thing would cause it.

Please Dusk. I love you like a son I care for you too much to hurt you like this. What I'm about to write needs to be written though and it needs to be written now while the memories are still fresh; for future generations to see.

The generations I'll be alive long enough to meet, while you won't.

Even if the reverse is true and I pass before my time once again, I beg of you to respect my wishes and never read further.

Personal matters aside, on the subject of the English language you have just translated; it is an odd language, unlike yet peculiarly similar to standard Equestrian. It was created through hundreds upon hundreds of years of cultural interaction and evolution among the species that forged it, along with a variety of others. I feel not the need to go into detail about how exactly English is written and read, for it seems you were able to figure all that out on your own. Again, congratulations. English is one of the major forms of communication for the mythical race of creatures known as humans.

It was also my primary language in my first life.

And here we come to the purpose of this journal; to tell you about my life on this rocky ball we call Equus. I will also tell you a bit about my life on another planet, Earth. These passages are to be my memoirs and I hope they will serve, in whatever form they will eventually take, as a guiding light for those out there who will one day find, or who have already found, themselves in the same situation as me.

What situation am I speaking of, you may be wondering? The answer to that is the same as the answer to what lies beyond this mortal coil, my dear reader; the answer to what lies beyond death itself.

Nothing. Nothing lies beyond life, only more life. Specifically new life, in a new form, in a new land.

I speak of reincarnation.

Feel free to call me a lunatic all you like, reader. I care not for your opinion at this point. If the words I am about to write make it into the hands or hooves or whatever of at least one other affected individual then this second life of mine will have found slightly more meaning in it. That having been said; once upon a time, literally in another life, I was a part-time novelist and a full-time housewife, forty years of age. I had two beautiful children and a loving husband. I was happy.

Now, at the time of writing this, I am a seven-year-old child; a shell of the woman I used to be.

My name was once Barbara D. Burns; wife of Jason E. Burns and mother of Ashley S. Gadison and Nathaniel D. Burns. It is now, to my half amusement and half annoyance, Barbara The Dragoness; Property of House Shine and servant to the Equestrian Crown. I prefer being called Barb though; it has such a nice cutting edge quality to it that allows me, when I close my eyes, to at least pretend that I am still the world-wary adult I once was.

I am the assistant of a one Dusk Shine, the young protégé of Prince Solaris. They are both highly intelligent and kind stallions to whom I have been given the great honor of personally knowing but, despite this, I sadly still hide my true nature from them just as I am forced to do with the rest of the world. My past remains hidden from them, as does the knowledge it contained; such as the knowledge of ponies named Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia, or the knowledge that the coming years are going to be a time of great change here in Equestria, depending on the actions of young Dusk.

My time on Earth, specifically with my daughter, taught me these things along with a few other smaller facts and details that have proven useful to me throughout the years. This prepared me slightly for the life I would one day find myself leading.

Nothing could have prepared me for the shocks I received in those first few years though, nor the heartache I would have to endure alone for the rest of this life.

Still, while I mourn my old life to this day, and expect I will continue to do so for many years to come, I have not given up on life in general. I have chosen to continue living, one day at a time, for reasons that are personal to me and me alone. It will be up to each one of you to find what your personal reason is or will be but, for now, please allow me to share how I came up with mine.

Here is how my story began.


The Poisoned Barb
A Story by ManlyDerp
I do not own MLP, nor the gender-bent versions of the characters created by the fandom.