Chapter 115
"Punch it!" Greg yelled as he held the punching bag in front of me.
"I am!" I yelled back as I slammed my hoof into it.
We were at the Canterlot Gym, waiting for the match to begin. Greg was currently trying to show me how to box, but, he wasn't a good teacher.
His face was covered in bandages, covering the cuts on his face. Those ponies really did a number on him.
"Punch the damn bag! I want to see it break!" He yelled as he puffed on his joint.
I slammed my hoof into it and grunted, "What the hell do you think I'm doing!"
He let go of the bag and sighed, "If this is your best, you suck."
I put my hoof to my face and sighed, "This is only a friendly match, not a serious one."
He facehoofed, "Bro, let me tell you something. He said friendly match, but I heard a fight to the death! I want you to fuck him up."
Now it was my turn to facehoof, "You're the worst coach ever."
He laughed, "Oh? Then fuck you too bro." He then turned and walked over to a bench.
I sighed and turned to my other two friends.
Night Light studying a book on boxing, and Tovy was sitting on a bench, watching me.
Now what?
[Damn Dawn! You were right. We should have remodeled a long time ago!]
<Told ya!>
{Where have you been! I've been needing you two for like, oh I don't know, since you left!}
[HAHAHA! What do you need Lance?]
{Remember all those boxing movies and games I've seen?}
[Yeah, why do you ask?]
{Can you guys review them? You know, so you can try and teach me.}
<Easy. Why do we have to teach you how to box?>
{Watch my recent memories.}
[Okay, we'll get back to ya in a minute.]
Well, that was easier than expected.
I turned around and looked over at Sullivan and his two friends. They were currently talking and joking around.
Yeah, there's no need for him to practice, he's already a professional.
Why did I agree to this? I'm only going to get hurt...
[Yo Lance, we got this!]
{Great! Hurry up and start teaching me how to do this! Should I go to the punching bag?}
[Nah man, we're just going to download all this knowledge into your memory. That way, you'll remember every move you've seen on those movies.]
{Really? That easy?}
<Oh yeah, that easy.>
[Also, you kicked ass in that bar! But, you failed at the last part.]
{... Shut up Break, I tried! But come on, he had skills on his side!}
[Don't get mad at me bro! Do you want this knowledge or not?]
{*Sigh* Give it to me.}
<You got it!>
A second later, my mind was filled with memories of all the boxing movies and games I've ever seen or played.
Well, that didn't actual teach me how to box, but at least this gives me a very good chance at standing a chance.
[There you go. Now.... BEAT HIS ASS!]
{I'll try and win, but come on, do you really think I can beat him in a fair fight?}
[... Yeah, you're right. Just don't look like a wussy up there.]
{Okay, can you turn on the bionic eye?}
<Yep.>
Once my HUD was up, I looked over at Sullivan, "Hey, Sullivan, you ready?"
He turned from his friends and smiled, "Yes, but the real question is: Are you ready?"
I shrugged, "As ready as I'll ever be."
He laughed and pointed to the ring, "If you're ready, get up there."
I looked at he ring and trotted over to it. I jumped up and slide under the ropes and onto the mat.
Well, time to get my ass kicked... again.
Greg jumped up on one of the corners and levitated a chair over, "Yo, Lance! Get your ass over here!"
I sighed and trotted to the corner, "What?"
"I want you to punch, jab, and bite!" He said as he levitated a water bottle to me.
I sighed, "Greg.... this is boxing, there is no biting."
"Still, do it. Now drink up." He said as he thrusted it into my face.
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the bottle. I then tilted it up and began to drink... then I began to gag, "Greg! What is this?!"
"Whiskey! Makes you a man!" He said with a laugh.
I spit out the rest in my mouth and coughed, "You could have warned me! That burned!"
He shrugged and pointed across the mat, to where Sullivan was. He was currently wrapping hoof wraps around his front hooves.
"Look, I want you to beat him!" Greg said as he levitated a pair of hoof wraps up to me.
I picked up one of the rolls and began to roll it around my hoof, "Why? Why do you want me to beat him?"
"Because! His friend over there hit me!" Greg said as he pointed at his bandaged face.
I laughed, what? Seeing Greg like this is funny! You'd agree if you knew the guy.
"Really Greg? You started it." I said as I began to wrap my other hoof.
He rolled his eyes and pulled out another blunt, "Doesn't matter."
I sighed tapped my hooves together, "Well, I'm just going to have fun."
Greg facehoofed, "Well then, fuck you!"
I twisted around, "You ready Sullivan?"
"Been ready." He said with a chuckle.
"Can I at least provide the music?" Greg said as he levitated a radio up to him.
I sighed, "Yeah, go ahead."
He smirked, "Great! It took me forever to get this song!" He pressed a few buttons on the radio and smiled, "Music starts when you start."
"Well then, I guess we start." Sullivan said as he nodded to his friend.
Jack Root jumped up on the ring and looked at us, "Now, there ain't many rules for this here match. Since it's unofficial and all. There is no kicking or unfair hits. If ya are knocked on your flank three times, ya out. Got that?"
I nodded, "Yeah, so, object to to knock the other out?"
"Or survive two rounds." Sullivan said as he rotated his neck.
"Sounds easy enough." I said as I prepared.
"On da bell, ya'll begin." Jack Root said as he jumped off the ring and landed next to Rocco.
Okay, let's try and not get hurt to bad.
[Time to kick some ass!]
<Yay, more pain...>
*DING*
As soon as the bell went off, Greg started the music. And I instantly reconized it, 'Living on a prayer'.
Well, at least it's not heavy metal.
[True, but... FIGHT!]
I stood up on my hind legs, which was hard, and began to hobble my way over to Sullivan, who was also on his hind legs.
I brought my hooves up in a defensive manor, waiting for him to throw the first punch.
Sullivan began to hop from hoof to hoof, slowly moving his forehooves around.
He made a move with his left hoof, causing my gaze to land on it. But, he instantly brought his right hoof in from the side, a perfect hook.
My head snapped to the side from the impact. He then followed up with a quick jab from his left hoof, and a heavy hit to the gut with his right.
I stumbled back, trying to stay up right.
Sullivan advance and began to throw hoof after hoof at my head, which was barely protected.
I was able to block a few of his punches, but wow, he's fast.
He threw a straight jab, which connected with my snout.
I instinctively brought my hooves to my face and held my nose.
Sullivan used this to his advantage and pulled back his right hoof.
"Uh oh, Sully's signature move!" Rocco yelled out.
What?
*POW*
My entire upper body snapped back from the massive blow I had just received.
I fell to the mat, dazed.
"One, two, three..." Rocco yelled, counting down.
My face! The pain! AHHHH!
"...Four, five, six..."
[Get up Lance!]
"... Seven, eight, ni..."
I forced myself to my hooves and stood back up and held my hooves up.
"YEAH! GO LANCE!" Tovy yelled out, pumping his hoof in the air.
"Way to go Lance! Hang in there!" Night Light encouraged.
"DO BETTER THAN THAT!" Yelled Greg, stomping his hoof.
I moved forward, hooves held up in front of me.
Sullivan smiled and threw a jab. I parried it and countered with a punch to the gut.
He grunted from the impact and slammed his hoof into my unprotected face.
Again, I stumbled back, but was able to keep my guard up.
Sullivan advanced and began to throw punch after punch, slowly backing me up.
I held my hooves up, blocking a few of the hits. But, most still connected with my head.
He backed me up into a corner and continued the onslaught.
<Punch him when I say so!>
I winced as a punch hit me between my eyes, my bionic eye showed a bit of static for a second.
<NOW!>
I moved my head to the side, causing his next punch to fly past my head, surprising him. I then brought my hoof up and slammed it into his jaw.
His head snapped back, causing him to stumble back.
[Great work, now... GET HIM!]
I jumped forward and slammed my hoof into his slightly protected face. He winced and threw another jab, this one hit me above the eye, sending a searing pain through my face.
I shook my head and hooked him in the side of the head.
He stumbled slightly, but recovered enough to dodge my next jab.
He knocked my hoof out of the way and brought his hoof up, slamming into my jaw. I lifted off the ground a few inches and landed on the ground with a heavy thud.
*DING DING DING*
"Round one is now over!" Rocco yelled out as Sullivan walked back to his corner.
I stayed on the mat, trying to collect myself. Boxing is not as fun as they make it out to be...
"Get your lazy ass over here!" Greg called out as he began to drag me over with his magic.
He sat me in a chair and began to go on and on about how he could have done better.
"Buck man, your face is all bloody!" Tovy said as he picked up a wet rag.
"Oh, that's nothing new." I joked, allowing him to try and wash off the blood.
"Whoa, that's a lot of blood." Night Light said as he looked me over.
Tovy put the rag down and began to dab at the cuts with a clean pad.
"Ten seconds!" Rocco called out.
"Water." I said, holding my hoof out.
Night Light levitated up a bottle and put it to my lips.
I quickly drank a little and pushed it away.
"Times up! Get ready for round two!" He announced.
Everyone and everypony jumped off the stage, leaving me and Sullivan.
*DING*
We both stood up and advanced on each other, hooves raised.
Okay Lance, you can do this!
Once I was close enough, I threw a jab for his gut. He shifted to the side and brought his hoof downward, right into the back of my head.
I fell face first on the mat, breathing heavily.
"One, two, three, four..."
Okay, that one hurt!
"Five, six..."
My HUD said I had a mild concussion, but it was quickly clearing up.
"Seven, eight..."
I again forced myself to my hooves, starting to get worried over why I wouldn't just stay down.
"Dang, you're a tough one." Sullivan said with a smirk.
I forced a smile and brought my hooves up, "I try."
He laughed and advanced.
He threw a left hoof, which I was able to block with my left foreleg. But, while I had my foreleg up, blocking his hoof, he brought back his right hoof and slammed it into my face.
The blow caused me to jump back, my snout pounding with a searing pain.
Sullivan stepped forward and smiled, "Sorry about this, but..." He began to throw punch after punch into my unprotected face.
I was no longer able to block, I was still stunned from the first hit.
He stopped and pulled his right hoof to the side. He then threw it forward, slamming into the side of my head with enough force to cause me to spin around.
I went a full three sixty before stopping, still facing him.
He was rotating his right foreleg, preparing for his next move.
[Oh...]
<... Shit.>
Sullivan threw his right hoof forward. It connected with my head, hitting me between the eyes and sent me backwards. He hit me so hard, he actually caused me to flip over the ropes around the ring.
*DING DING DING*
"TKO!" Rocco yelled out as they cheered for Sullivan's victory.
Night Light and Tovy ran to my side.
"You okay there Lance?" Night Light asked worriedly.
"Are you okay Lance?!" Tovy yelled out.
I rolled over and gasped, "Yeah... Just dandy..." I then pushed up, making myself stand.
I looked over at Greg, who was raging about how I could have won.
"You at least stood your ground, right?" Night Light said with a small chuckle.
I smiled, "Yeah, at least.... what does my face look like?"
"... A mess."
I chuckled, "Well, am I still beautiful?"
Night Light laughed, "And you're my son in law?"
"YES!" Tovy yelled out, scaring the crap out of me.
"Hey Lance." Sullivan said as he trotted over to me.
I looked up and smiled, "Good match."
He laughed, "Yes, yes it was. You wasn't so bad up there, but you could work on your blocking... and everything else."
I chuckled and rubbed my chest, "Yeah, I know. I'll probably try and learn this, you know, so we can have a rematch."
He raised an eyebrow, "You want a rematch? After that?"
I nodded and smiled, "Yep. I know I can beat you after some training."
{BREAK! Stop making me say this! I don't want a rematch!}
HAHAHA! Too bad!]
"Well, in that case, I'll see you again?" He asked.
"You sure will." I said with confidence, or, Break made me say with confidence.
Sullivan did an about face, "See you later then Lance."
"Yeah, see ya later." I said in response. I then looked at Greg and glared, "Why?!"
He stopped his rant and shrugged.
I sighed and looked at the others, "I need a break from this..."
Night Light nodded, "I bet you do. Do you want me to talk my wife into going to the spa today?"
I rubbed my chin and smiled, "Yes, go for it. I could use that spa trip today."
"A spa trip? Can I come?!" Tovy asked excitedly.
I looked at him, "Uhh, sure."
"Yes!" He said pulling his hoof in as a sign of victory.
"Should I go get her now, or later?" Night Light asked.
"Now would be good. I'll go get my other friend, so tell her to meet me at the Ponyville spa." I said, picking up a cloth and rubbing my face free of the blood.
"That, I can do... what about Greg?" He said, looking at Greg, who was standing on his head and smoking a blunt.
"Him? Just leave him here, he'll find his way home... maybe." I said with a chuckle.
"Uhh, alrighty then. I'm off, I guess." Night Light said as he began to trot towards the doors.
I looked over to Tovy, "Well, you ready?"
"I've been ready!" He said with a large grin.
I looked around and shrugged, "Then let's get going."
Fifteen minutes later, Grace's house
I stepped up to the door and knocked four times.
"Huh, this is familiar." Tovy said as he looked the house over.
The door opened to reveal Grace. She was wearing a lounging rope and had a cup of coffee in her hoof, "What do you want?"
I chuckled, "Did you just wake up?"
She sighed and took a sip from her coffee, "Yeah. I decided to wake up a little early today."
I looked at the sky and back to her, "But, it's noon."
She laughed and ran a hoof through her hair, "I know, but hey, at least I don't sleep all day." She then looked at Tovy and smiled, "Oh hey Tovy!"
He waved back, "Hey Grace."
I looked between the two and chuckled, "You know each other?"
Grace nodded, "We do, but we only meet the other day."
Tovy nodded, confirming what she was saying.
"Did you have to friendzone him?" I said in a joking voice.
Grace began to laugh, almost dropping her cup, "Oh! I didn't even have to friendzone him! He's a colt cuddlier!"
My eyes widened, a colt cuddlier?! Tovy's gay?!
<Even I could see that Lance.>
[Yeah, are you that stupid?]
Tovy blushed when I cast a look at him.
This explains so much. Well, at least I know to watch him now.
I looked back at Grace, "Well, with that aside, I have to ask you something."
"Shoot." She said as she took another sip from her coffee.
"Twilight's parents are in town and I'm spending some time with each. And I'm going to take her mother to the spa."
Grace chuckled, "And this involves me how?"
"I wanted to know if you want to come with us to the spa."
She raised an eyebrow, "Is it free?"
I shook my head, "No, but I'm paying."
She smirked, "Then I'm coming."
I laughed at this, "Moocher."
She also laughed, "Yep, that's me." She then turned around, "Let me get ready, then we'll head out."
"Alright, just hurry." I said as I leaned against the door frame.
[I hope no one sees us at the spa. That would ruin our reputation.]
<Reputation? The only one we have is getting our asses kicked and being unlucky.>
[I still want to keep that reputation intact!]
{Yeah, that reputation isn't going anywhere. There's no one to take it.}
[True...]