//------------------------------// // Side Battle: Prince of Blue Heir // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// To ensure that you can read certain colors, it is recommended that you set the "Formatting" to "Dark". Thank you. A/N: Well, it wasn't quite how I expected to weave a Frozen character in. But I'll roll with it! Oh, before I forget... Spoiler Alert! Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, Disney, and Capn_Chryssalid. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 3 E Side 2 There are many fairy tales in which the handsome prince saves the day. But there are other princes that either do it slightly differently or *eff* that trend entirely. Prince Hans of the Southern Isle... ... will face Prince Blueblood from a slightly aged, yet still broadly appreciated FiMFiction story "The Best Night Ever". The fire-color maned unicorn takes a drag from his cigarette. She's N and I'm F. And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Hans -Prince of the Southern Isles; thirteenth in line -Master of charisma and manipulation -Carries a sword -Holds some skill with a crossbow -Kind of a dick to Elsa and Anna -Somewhat clumsy "~Love is an open door. Love is an open (door) door.~" It was the coronation day on the island kingdom of Arendelle for the older sister Elsa. As younger sister Anna sang about her merry rooftop jumping and cobblestone twirling, she quite literally ran into the equine owned by Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. At first, he seemed like a typical clueless prince, waiting to find his damsel in distress to rescue and marry. Hell, he even went on a trek through the cold wilderness just to find her. True love's kiss looked like it was about to save Princess Anna's life, until a creepy grin crossed Hans' face. It turns out that he was just using the gullible Anna to take steps necessary to become a king. As the youngest of thirteen royal children, it was very unlikely that he would inherit the rule of the Southern Isles. Instead, he turned to the possibilities of marriage and/or conquest. Hans has more silver on his tongue than Starscream and the pretty-boy charisma to ensure that no one could possibly guess his malicious intent until it was too late. He is well-trained in horseback riding and comfortably wields a sword when the need for such an attack arises. He also possesses an extraordinary sense of luck when it comes to aiming a crossbow at the very tip of a chandelier. Still, he's not perfect on his feet. He's been forced backward into the water at least twice... and that's two times too many. If it weren't for Anna's love for her sister Elsa, he may very well have been able to claim Arendelle as his own. Somebody punch that punk's face! Anna punches Hans overboard, causing him to fall into the water. Thank you. ---Death Battle--- Blueblood -Prince of Canterlot by way of a very long line of descendants -Has relived the day of the Grand Galloping Gala for several thousand "loops" -Knows the name of every single pony that attended that particular Gala -Has mastered teleportation, levitation, and various forms of choreography -Cartographer by trade -On the fine line between sane and not "Idiots. I'm surrounded by foals and idiots." The current Prince Blueblood is number fifty-two in a long line of generations who were named Blueblood. While the genealogy doesn't stem directly from Equestria's ruling princesses, he still considers Celestia and Luna to be his aunts. Sweet! I can call him a bastard and it would be the truth! After an embarrassing night at the Grand Galloping Gala, he had hoped to never see anything like it again. Unfortunately, fate had other plans for this charmless prince. The hands of time decided to hit the 24-hour reset button and Blueblood found himself waking up to the radio broadcast of the very morning he wanted to forget. I wish I had those hands of time. Hell, I'd settle for a finger... specifically a middle finger. *ahem* But it wasn't just a one-time trip back in time. After several days in a row of similar events repeating themselves, Blueblood figured out that he was reliving the same day of the Gala over and over again. He tried everything from magical removals to curse disenchantments. He even contemplated the idea of releasing Discord from his stone imprisonment just to see if the "loops" would end. During his loops, he had multiple not useful conversations with Celestia. Surprisingly, she wasn't trolling him. She genuinely had no idea what he was going through. Eventually, he turned to events regarding the Gala itself. Reliving the same day multiple times and remembering everything from the loops allowed him time and energy to study all sorts of information such as ponies' names, where they would be, and what they would do at any given time. He also got to practice magic in the way of basic teleportation. Blueblood got his cutie mark for direction and sometimes utilizes it for cartography and political positions all over the map. Though, it took him a while to navigate the map of love. After planning out certain actions to the slightest detail, he managed to make a Gala night that wasn't perfect, but was enjoyable for himself, the main six, Spike, Celestia, and even Luna. But none was as beautiful as the genuine bond he forged with Rarity. They shared a similar annoyance to Sapphire Shores' rendition of Equestria Girls while implicitly jumping on the bed the next morning. "Jumping"? Is that what you call it now? Well, what would you call it on a Y-7 program? I'm just surprised that you of all ponies would adhere to such a rating. ... You're right. I shouldn't hold back. Blueblood and Rarity totally f-! ---Please stand by. We are currently experiencing technical difficulties.--- A quick shot of static returns to the closing quote. "Nothing will ruin this night. Now, would my lady enjoy a tour of the Grand Pavilion?" ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. But first a word from our friends that deliver funny trailers that give away all the plot points. --- Coming to your computer screen from that internet user that sounds like an enemy from XCOM... Some classical instrumental plays over his voice. ... and edited by that other user that sounds like yet another copycat of a certain prismatic pony... The Best Night Ever Welcome to Canterlot, a capital city that shares nothing in common with its Monty Python soundalike. Meet Prince Blueblood the Fifty-Second, otherwise known as that one guy everyone hated at the end of Season 1. He wakes up to find that everything's been reset to the previous morning... somehow. (Do they ever specifically explain how time-travel works in this story? I don't remember seeing it.) Watch him slowly grow more insane as he keeps reliving the same day over and over again. It'll lead to frantic conversations with the main six, one-sided conversations with his aunt, one-and-a-half-sided conversations with his other aunt, suicide attempts, and setting his entire home on fire. (Dude, that's kind of messed up.) In order to set time forward again, he'll have to make the evening enjoyable not just for the bearers of six magical jewel powers that somehow fix everything but time, but also truly kindle a relationship with the woman who tried to force a love interest the first time he met her. (Wow, that is really messed up.) Read the phrases from popular soundtracks that would otherwise force you to speed-read if you were actually listening to them like... The Alarm Clock That Never Ends ~This is Sapphire Shores Singing Pinkie Pie's song The song name That the movies stole~ That old song that only a few of you remember the original singer ~Twistin'! This isn't something to sing at a ball Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it Baby!~ And of course the lyrics that die-hard fans give all the credit to Lauren Faust for and not David Ingram like they're supposed to ~Into the Gala Into the Gala We are clueless to how this night will go Reality bites!~ Starring... Blood Isn't Blue (Blueblood) Ashleigh Ball From Hey Ocean (Applejack) Princess In Two More Seasons (Twilight Sparkle) Wonderbolt Reserve In Three More Seasons (Rainbow Dash) Assertive One Season Too Early (Fluttershy) Pink ADHD (Pinkie Pie) Totally Relevant To The Plot (Celestia) Don't Call Me Auntie (Luna) Booze (Soarin and Spitfire) Why Won't You Stay Broken?! (the alarm clock) Epic Dragon (Spike) ...and The Platinum Princess In The Sequel (Rarity) The Best 9001 Nights Ever Man, I wonder what it would be like to forcibly relive my own wedding day repeatedly. --- And now... it's time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- We join our princes standing on opposite ends of the screen atop a castle wall. The man pulls out his sword and holds it steady. The stallion makes a surprising move by stripping his suit off completely. He also spits out a rose that was in his teeth for some reason. Their expressions are unreadable. "FIGHT!" Hans charges in and prepares to dramatically swing his sword downward. The metal clangs as Blueblood adjusts his horn ever so slightly. The sword and horn shake and rattle as they push for ground. A sudden glow surrounds Blueblood's horn. In a white flash, he vanishes. This leaves Hans to look around wildly for the enemy that is allegedly invisible. Actually, Blueblood simply teleports behind the man and performs a spinning kick in the process. Hans staggers a bit before turning around to face his enemy. Quickly, he sheathes his sword and pulls out a crossbow. He fires a bolt. Blueblood concentrates his magic and teleports to the side. Hans fires three more bolts in rapid succession. The unicorn flashes in and out of existence to safe areas out of the bolts' targeted spaces. As the man starts losing patience, he switches weapons again. He holds his sword out to the side as he runs forward. Another teleporting flash brings Blueblood behind Hans. The unicorn prince alters his magic slightly to a different spell. His concentration is heavy and straining now. Prince Hans finds himself surrounded by a colored aura and floating in the air. He waves his arms and legs around frantically, but he can't control his course. Blueblood's eyes and magic guide the aerial travel. As quickly as it starts, the levitations spell fades. Hans finds himself and his sword falling off the side of the castle wall. He lets out a yell before a loud impact silences him forever. "K.O.!" ---Death Battle--- Woah ho ho! That's definitely not the Blueblood I know and loathe. Hans did have a better melee weapon, but he is easily caught off guard when it comes to magic and magic-users. We even saw his sword break upon contact with a fully cursed, ice girl in the movie. And even though Hans had a ranged option, Blueblood's quick thinking and teleporting kept him out of danger. By the time Hans could focus on his last chance, Blueblood's levitation already had him right where he wanted him. Looks like Fall came early for Hans. The winner is Blueblood. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Death Battle... Princesses have risen and fallen. Very few of their meetings are non-crisis related. But without elves in green or knights in shining armor, who shall overcome the other? The answer is coming soon. ---