//------------------------------// // Chapter 9 // Story: Palace Perils // by Rated Ponystar //------------------------------// Palace Perils By The Rated Ponystar Formerly Edited by Fernin, tayman2037, and Clavier Edited by: Adjudicator and Unnamed Pawn This chapter is dedicated to the men and women of Columbia University, whose tireless efforts to create a race of super beings continues undaunted. *** Twilight had to remember to thank Zecora for teaching her how to make the cure for the Poison Joke plants the next time she saw her. She was also going to recommend banishing both Luna and Philomena to the moon for a week after Celestia woke up. Mixing the last of the ingredients into the cauldron, Twilight looked up and saw the guards, Helm Breaker and Piercing Valor, watching her with curious intent. “Don’t you think you two should be looking for Philomena? I mean Luna. I mean... Luna who is in Philomena’s body?” “You mean the same Luna who got communist foals to force feed us baby food while we were tied up with jump rope?” growled Helm Breaker. “Oh, trust me. I’m this tempted to go AWOL and joining the changelings for the invasion.” “That’s nothing, I swear one of those brats farted on my face while I was bagged, blindfolded and pelted with airsoft guns,” muttered Piercing Valor as he rubbed one of the many welts on his body. Twilight couldn’t help but sympathize with the two, but at the same time she was thankful the children didn’t bother entering the potions room. Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw the liquid in the colutron turn green and sighed in relief. “There we go. It’s done, now all we have to do is—” Twilight didn’t get a chance to finish as a loud explosion followed by an earthquake knocked her off her hooves along with the guards. Potions on various shelves fell and smashed onto the floor, releasing their chemicals into the air. Acid and fires began to erupt as magical sparks and smokes of various colors could be seen mixing in a storm of clouds. The couldron for the antidote had spilled over and started mixing with a few of the puddles, causing it to turn to a dark black color. Mouths and eyes began to form from the unholy mixture as shrieks and moans of the damned cried out. Realizing the danger, Twilight cried out for the the guards to run from the room as she made her way towards the door. Once all three were out, Twilight charged up her horn and summoned a hoofsized ball of glowing blue and white energy that crackled in the air. “Fire in the hole!” she cried out before tossing it into the door, slamming the door shut, and sealing it with a barrier. Another large explosion, this time from inside the potion room, erupted and the door nearly came off it’s hinges. Thankfully, the barrier held. Then, when all was silent yet again, Twilight put the barrier down and opened the door. The spell had worked, all the magical mishaps had been vaporized to the last atom. Nothing remained but scorch marks and broken potion equipment. However, that also meant the antidote that Twilight worked hours on was no more. Gritting Her teeth, Twilight held in a desire to scream profanities that would have made Princess Celestia want to clean her mouth with soap. However, it was a losing battle as her mane suddenly began to glow and smoke up.The two guards, knowing Twilight’s anger issues, stepped back nervously. Twilight slowly turned around and glared at the two. “Excuse me.” Twilight calmly walked into the room and shut the door. A second later, fire erupted from the door as Twilight began to scream. “THOSE MOTHER&*$@ING @$$HOLES! I WILL #$%@ THEM IN THE @#! AND @#$!$%^ THEIR SORRY #$!$%^#@%^ BEFORE I !#$!$%@? IN #!$%%^ ON A SUNDAY WITH %@$^@ EGGCREAM %$!%$^^ WHILE SKIPPING ROPE WITH IT BEFORE I @#%^!%$ THEIR SORRY #%^@$% AND FORCE THEM TO EAT $%#$%^^ OUT OF A #%^^& LITTLE SIPPYCUP WHILE #%^Q#%^ TO WATCH @#$#%^^ IT ALL BURN!” The flames and yelling soon died down at the same time before the door opened revealing a still annoyed, but relatively calm Twilight Sparkle. She took a few deep breaths before glaring at the guards. “I have had enough of this. We’re gonna go find them.” Helm Breaker raised his hoof. “Um, Miss Sparkle? Not to interrupt, but how do we even know they are responsible for that explosion?” Just as he finished that, another guard ran over and bowed. “Element of Magic! A giant ice cream cat monster has appeared at the Hoofgen Dazs Ice Cream Factory where Princess Luna and Philomena were last spotted!” “Never mind...” *** When Twilight and the guards finally found a window, they stared at the sight in disbelief. The ice cream cat monster was hissing and swiping at the area around it. The terrified screams of ponies could be heard even from the palace. It was almost as tall as any building and just as wide, it’s entire fur covered in various colored ice cream flavors from chocolate to strawberry. The logical side of Twilight was wondering how in the name of science itself this was even possible. However, she was quickly dragged back into reality when Piercing Valor shouted her name. “Twilight Sparkle! What are our orders?!” he asked. “Why are you asking me?! I’m not a princess!” shouted Twilight. “Princess Celestia stated that if she or Princess Luna were out of action for any means, then we were to listen to you,” replied Piercing Valor. “Is it really such a big deal? It’s just a pretty little pussy cat covered in ice cream,” said a smiling Helm Breaker. Suddenly, the ice cream cat monster’s eyes widened as it began to cough and hack. After a few moments, it spat out a large, hairy, ice cream covered hairball that sailed right towards the palace. Specifically, it sailed toward the window they were looking through. Everypony ducked out of the way except for a stunned Helm Breaker. The well defended wall managed to protect the castle from the hairball, but a chunk of it broke through the window and hit the poor pegasus guard. He sailed across the hall and into the wall where he slowly peeled off. Hacking out hair from his throat, he muttered, “Oh sweet Faust I never thought I’d hate cinnamon swirl ice cream but cat hair does the trick.” Twilight sighed before putting on her serious face. “Okay, I need all the guards in the area to get civilians out of harm’s way. Keep that cat ice cream thing in the same area at all costs! I’ll go see if Princess Celestia is up yet or not. Either way, I’ll meet you there via teleport!” “Roger!” acknowledged Valor with a salute. He made his way down the hall while shouting, “Come on, Breaker! Keep up!” “Coming!” shouted Breaker as he got up, using his wings to wipe away the cat hair and ice cream. He licked his lips and hummed in satisfaction. “Actually, cat hair goes great with cookie dough.” Twilight did her best not to hurl after hearing that and teleported herself to Princess Celestia’s chambers. *** “Girls, I need you too—What in the name of Faust are you doing?!” Twilight’s mouth dropped just as Rainbow Dash dropped Princess Celestia’s flank back on the bed while Pinkie, dressed in a black leather outfit, put down the riding crop. A thousand emotions ranging from confusion to rage emerged from Twilight’s head but she settled for just staring at the two and waiting for an explanation. Answers now, blasting them later. “What? We’re trying to wake her up,” answered Pinkie Pie as she began to get out of the outfit. “Everything else we tried didn’t work. We used horns, put her hoof in water, and even electrocuted her with shock therapy! Nothing! She’s as asleep as the dead!” Twilight slapped herself twice. Once for making sure she wasn’t in some insane dream where her best friends tried crazy ways to wake up her mentor, including making her pee herself. But also to slap herself for even putting Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie of all ponies in charge of it. That’s like asking Discord to take care of an orphanage! Disaster! “Never mind!” shouted Twilight as she pushed them out of the way and scanned her still sleeping mentor with her magic. “Ugh! She’s still asleep!” “Well, maybe if you didn’t shoot her multiple times with the red paintballs in blind rage this wouldn’t have happened?” pointed out Rainbow Dash only to get a glare that promised death if she didn’t remain quiet. “Uh, I’ll shut up.” Twilight fell to her haunches and rubbed her temples. “I don’t know what to do! I’ve got a princess and phoenix in different bodies pranking each other, Princess Celestia is so deep in a sleep she might as well be in a coma, a giant ice cream cat monster is tearing up the city, and I can feel the last bits of my sanity dripping out of my ears!” “Really?” asked Pinkie as she stretched Twilight left ear, much to Twilight’s annoyance, and looked inside. “All I see is wax and a big brain!” “Pinkie, enough!” shouted Twilight, pushing her away. Gripping the sides of her head and sweating worse than a bull, she said,  “I am at the end of my rope here and the last thing I need is the situation getting any worse than it already is!” The door knocked and soon another solar guard entered and saluted. “Twilight Sparkle? There is a large crowd gathering at the entrance of the palace. They keep demanding to see Princess Celestia and have her restore order to the chaos that is happening. Not to mention there are the delegates from the other nations here to complain about the moon being turned into a disco ball  a few nights ago. Discord’s statue has also been reported to be cracking up. And the cat monster just overran the biggest milk factory in Canterlot.” Twilight’s eye twitched a bit as strings of her hair popped out. She slowly turned to the guard with a crazed look in her eyes and a creepy smile that made everypony back away from her. “Anything... else?” “Um, I think we’re out of coffee.” Twilight was silent for a bit before she stood up straight and said, “Okay, new plan! We pour boiling oil on the annoying crowd and have them leave us in peace! Rainbow Dash will then do a sonic rainboom on the cat and wipe it, and Canterlot, off the face of the earth! Once Canterlot is gone, peace and sanity will return and all shall be well! Just in time for tea when Princess Celestia wakes up and we all convince her this was a big misunderstanding or a dream. That way she won’t punish us!” “Um, Twilight,” said Rainbow Dash, raising her hoof. “You forget the part about how everypony in Canterlot, including us, will be dead if we do that.” “I know! It’s perfect!” screamed Twilight as she began to laugh. “Now let’s get started! I’m going to go ahead and lie down to wair for my demise!” Eyes rolling to the back of her head, Twilight fell into a faint and was knocked out the moment her head hit the floor. “Well, now what?” asked Rainbow Dash. “How are we gonna get out of this mess?” Pinkie Pie rubbed her chin and thought for a bit before a light bulb lit up over her head. She looked up and smiled, “Oh, look the ceiling light’s back on. Anyway, I got a plan to deal with that big crowd! They want Princess Celestia? They’re gonna get Princess Celestia!” *** Princess Luna didn’t think her day was gonna get any worse but the universe had a way of proving her wrong again. It was bad enough that she had been forced into crazy shenanigans in her arch-enemy’s body, but now a giant ice cream cat monster was running loose in her city.  It’s time likes these that I wonder if banishment to the moon was better than this. Flying right beside Philomena, the alicorn in a phoenix's body watched as the cat monster was drinking the milk it happened to find at a nearby milk factory; it’s workers screaming while occasionally commenting on how cute it was. Horrifying, but cute. “Okay, it’s distracted! How do we deal with it!” “What do you mean, ‘we’?” said Philomena, raising an eyebrow. “You’re the one that caused this.” “I did not! This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t go and try to make everypony have massive diarrhea!” shouted back Luna. Philomena rolled her eyes and said, “Look, we can argue whose fault is later—even though it’s totally yours—but right now we need to take care of that cat!” A loud meow got their attention as the cat stretched itself and began to lie down for a nap. Luna sighed and nodded her head. “Agreed. Truce for now until we get this mess cleaned up. Our options?” “Well, I’m in your body and your in my body and neither of us are experts in using each other’s magic,” pointed out Philomena, rubbing her chin. “I could just randomly blast it until something happens.” “Are you crazy?! You’re wielding alicorn powered magic! Who knows what you could do if you just cast random spells!” shouted Luna. “Relax, how hard could it be?” said Philomena dismissively as she charged the horn. She fired a pink beam at the cat who didn’t wake up from it’s nap as it seemed nothing happened. That was until it opened it’s mouth to yawn and unleashed a large blue beam that fired into the sky until the beam was nothing but a speck in the sky. Luna glared at a blushing Philomena who rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, at least it didn’t do any damage.” *** (Meanwhile on another planet) *** The longneck child known as Littlefoot woke up to the Bright Circle high in the sky. He yawned and looked around his home known as the Great Valley, a peaceful place where roundteeth like him had food, water, and shelter from the dreaded sharpteeth. Littlefoot was about to go out and look for his friends when he saw something up above in the sky. It was bright and blue and looked similar to the stone of cold fire he saw a long time ago. However, it was getting closer and closer to the Great Valley and soon was so bright he could barely see. Other dinosaurs began to panic as Littlefoot was about to head for cover when suddenly... And all that remained of the Great Valley was a crater. *** (Back in Equestria) *** “Okay, maybe we can try a spell that doesn’t make the cat more dangerous than it already is?!” cried out Luna in fury. “Um, okay, then what about this!” shouted Philomena who shut her eyes in concentration. Her horn glowed white as a start. The power levels were enormous and Luna had to block her eyes to prevent herself from going blind. All around the city ponies could feel the enormous power that was surging in one spot, wondering what spell was it that was being used that would require such magic. The very ground began to quake under the use of it’s power. Birds were silent. Winds were halted. The very air began to heat up under the raw magical power. I’ve never felt anything like this! What spell could it be that she is performing?! Banishment?! Summoning?! Enchanting?! thought Luna as she watched with awe. “TAKE THIS!” shouted Philomena as she unleashed the spell upon the cat, engulfing it in a white beam of light. When it faded... nothing had changed. The two looked at the cat, waiting for anything to happen. Yet a full three minutes passed before the only thing the cat did was twitch it’s strawberry flavored whiskers and scratch it’s tail. Luna deadpan, looked at Philomena and asked, “What just happened?” “I... don’t know,” answered Philomena scratching her head. “I just found something very powerful inside me and just unleashed it.” “Describe it?” “Well, it felt very cool, and very solid. Like something in my stomach being pushed out through the throat. It had a very chilling feeling to it, yet inside I could feel some warmth. Any ideas?” asked Philomena. Luna thought to herself on a few possible answers until she noticed that there didn’t seem to be a lot of sunlight where they were. In fact she looked around and saw that they were surrounded by shade. Where is the sun? And why do I have this ominous feeling? Suddenly, they heard screams as they looked up and gasped upon seeing what it was that had everypony suddenly become afraid off. Even Luna almost felt like she was about to wet herself. Slowly heading towards them was the moon. *** Everypony in Ponyville stood outside as they saw the moon itself inching closer to their earth. The sheer size of it was enough to make them all feel like insects about to be swatted away. All activity around Ponyville and many other parts of the world had suddenly come to a halt as they gazed upon their doom. Finally, somepony said what they were all thinking: “We’re all gonna die!” In a split second, everypony was running around screaming in terror. Loved ones held each other and began to cry. Crazed ponies who had often held signs about the end were now wielding ones that said “Told ya so!”. Some ran into their homes, closed the doors, and hid under the beds while others put their heads between their rear legs and began kissing their bottoms goodbye. “Wait!” Everypony froze up as they stared at Mayor Mare who was looking at the village she had taken care of for years. Sniffling, she said, “As my last act as mayor I want to let you all know that I’ve been honored to be your leader. As death approaches, let us all hold each other in our final moments before embracing eternity together.” The mayor’s words rang true to the townspeople, and they held each other, crying and whispering goodbyes to one and all. Even enemies like Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara had found themselves on the receiving end of a hug from each other. “Since I want to die with no regrets I have a confession to make,” said the Mayor who took a deep breath. “I fixed the ballets in the last three elections. I’m so sorry!” Everypony muttered but soon smiled and a few walked over to comfort her. “Everypony!” shouted Derpy who flew up for their attention. “I’m not really crossed eyed.” To everypony’s shock, Derpy popped two glass eyes out of her skull much to the crowd’s disgust. “I’m really just blind, I just got a really bad deal on glass eyes.” Rarity looked around, bit her lip, but then blurted out, “Okay, I confess! I’ve been in a secret romantic relationship with Gilda for the past three months! I can’t help it! The way her feathers feel against my coat as she kisses and holds me makes me feel more like a lady when we make love than any other dress I put on!” “Well, if were getting secrets out of the open, I’m part of a cult that worships Nightmare Moon. I sacrifice chickens every sunday,” shouted Caramel as he raised his hoof. “Ah’m a girl,” confessed Big Macintosh much to everypony’s shock and to the disappointment of nearly all of Ponyville’s female population. “Was born a lady, that’s me. Went around bein’ called a brother cause Ah got a sex change eight years ago.” “... does that count as gay if we mate with you?” asked Roseluck raising her hoof. “I’m not really a pony!” shouted Lucky as he removed a zipper on his back and appeared as a little green pony. “I be a leprechaun!” he then clacked his hooves and appeared with the traditional leprechaun clothing while dancing the irish jig. Scootaloo suddenly was turned faced to face with Diamond Tiara who looked her and said, “I love you. Marry me!” “Um, okay?” said Scootaloo before her lips were assaulted by Tiara. “And I’m not really a pony either!” said Raindrops before she donned a fork, knife, and bib. “I’m a pony that eats leprechauns!” The leprechaun pony screamed and ran away as Raindrops chased after him. One by one confessions were shared until it came to Fluttershy who was shaking and sweating like crazy. Rarity walked over to her friend and touched her shoulder. “Now come on, dear. We’re all going to die so we might as well die with a confession. Go one we will not think less of you...” “I can’t take it!” screamed Fluttershy. “I was the one that got Firefly cancelled! I was the one who wrote the romance for Anakin and Padme and gave it to Lucas! I’m the one who hid Jimmy Hoffa's body! I had Coca-Cola stop making SURGE! I created /b/ on 4 chan! I was the one who crashed the stock market! I broke up Van Halen! I got Toonami cancelled! I shot that hunter and blamed it on Dick! I created Scientology! I’m the one who keeps peeing on all your front lawns! I was the one who let Discord out in the first place! I’m a fan of Generation 3.5! I MADE LAUREN FAUST LEAVE THE SHOW!!!!” Everypony just stared at Fluttershy, some faces twitching with mutters of killing her or not. Rarity, forcing a laugh, said, “W-well now that we’re all done confessing our... sins, let us close our eyes and embrace our fate.” *** Back in Canterlot, Luna was shouting at Philomena to hurry up and charge that spell again. The phoenix turned alicorn continued to do so, but was sweating much more than before. Luna shouted, “You have to concentrate! Put the moon back or we’re all dead!” “I can do this better without you distracting me!” shouted Philomena. Luna looked up at the moon that she once loved and would soon be crushed by in a few minutes. “If we don’t make it out of this alive... I just want you to know that some of your pranks were funny! And I’m grateful you kept my sister company while I was gone.” “... I did all of this because I’m jealous of you!” confessed Philomena before she unleashed the blast while Luna stared. The blast hit the moon and soon pushed it backwards into the sky. Like a rocket, it retreated back to where it was. Before long, everypony saw the miracle that occurred. *** Everypony in Ponyville cheered at the sight of the moon being pushed back. Hugs and kisses went around, a certain filly couple was still kissing and holding each other even tighter. Everypony was happy that they were alive... and then they all glared at Fluttershy who went “meep”. “Um, I... I was lying?” she nervously said. “Get her!” “AAAAAAHHHH!” screamed Fluttershy as the whole town chased after her. Except for Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara who were still busy. *** Princess Luna and Philomena opened their eyes and saw that the moon had returned to its normal place in the sky. The two sighed and landed on their haunches before looking up at each other with blushing faces. Despite the fact that the cat was still there, sleeping, and ponies were panicking in the distance, the two couldn’t help but stare at the ground in silence. “...You did all of this? All this pranking? Because you were jealous of me?” asked Luna, finally. Philomena sighed. “Yeah. Ever since you came back all Celestia’s wanted to do was hang out with you and less with me. I’ve been her friend for centuries and all of a sudden you come back and... it’s just not the same.” A tear dripped down Philomena’s cheek. “I know you're her sister and she loves you, but she’s my friend too. I just... didn’t want to be forgotten.” Luna looked at Philomena with, for once, a sympathetic gaze. “I know what that feels like. Believe me, I do more than anypony on this earth. But has acting on that jealously been helpful?” “No, not really,” admitted Philomena. “It twisted me and made me a monster a thousand years ago. You should have talked to my sister before starting this prank vendetta on me,” Luna looked around at the destruction that had been caused by the cat and thought back to the previous pranks they had delivered upon one another. “We’ve both been acting like immature foals. We’ve done stupid things so let’s just stop and fix all of this before Celestia kills us both. And trust me, I have no interest in being buried six feet under.” Philomena was silent for awhile before sighing. “Okay, but we’re not friends. Just to be clear.” “Right,” said Luna as she stood up and held out her wing. Philomena looked at it and then shook it with her hoof. The two nodded before turning their attention to the giant cat ice cream monster which was starting to wake up. “Now how do we deal with this thing?” “Well it is ice cream, maybe we can melt it?” asked Philomena. “And where are we gonna get the heat? My sister is unconscious last time I checked and the clouds are covering the sun,” asked Luna with a raised eyebrow. Philomena stared at her with narrow eyes before pointing at her. Luna blinked a bit before looking down at her own body and slapping herself. “Oh, right.” She then sized up the cat monster and frowned. “I don’t think I have the size to make a storm this big. Unless...” She looked at Philomena with a smile. “We can use a growth spell to help me out! Turn me big!” “But you're a phoenix! You’ve got a high amount of immunity towards magic!” pointed out Philomena. “Not if we overcharge the spells! If we put in twice the amount of power that it would normally do we should be able to affect me.” “What?! Are you crazy?! I have no idea how you’re magic works! Look at what happened the last two times!” shouted Philomena. “We have no choice! You can do this. Just find an energy source inside that feels like you are stretching and reaching out into the heavens,” advised Luna as she straightened herself up. “Go! Do it now!” Philomena bit her lip and closed her eyes as a red energy orb began to appear on the tip of her horn. It began to grow in size until it was big as her hoof. With a grunt, she unleashed the org and it slammed into Luna causing a huge flash of light. Philomena covered her eyes with her hoof and waited for it to die down, expecting a twenty foot tall phoenix... ... instead she got a pile of ash. “Oh, that’s not good...” *** “Where am I?” asked Luna as she looked around. She remembered being hit by the orb, then pain, darkness, a bright light, and now she was on a bright green misty field with the sun high above. It felt different... like very peaceful and happy. Like all her doubts were washed away the moment her hooves touche the grass. Wait, hooves?! Luna looked at herself and gasped, she was back to her normal body. “Oh sweet Faust, thank you for giving me my body back!” “You are welcomed, my child,” said a powerful and heavenly voice. Luna froze up as she turned around and saw what lay before her eyes and made her jaw drop. Standing before her was none other than the goddess of ponies herself, Faust. Her radiant white fur that glittered in the sunlight, her fiery red mane that was beautiful then any others, her immense horn and wings were bigger than that of Celestia’s. Even she was a giant compared to Luna. “Welcome to Elysium, Luna, we have been waiting for you,” said Faust with a warm smile. “Wait, Elysium... but that would mean I’m...” Luna’s eyes widen as she turned around and saw that her wings were now snow white, and up above her head was a yellow halo. “... dead... Oh, great.” “Yes, your mortal life has ended and now you're eternal one shall begin. Do not feel sorry for those you have left behind, for one day all shall come to Elysium and know peace,” said Faust. “Wait! I can’t be dead! This is a mistake!” cried out Luna. “You have to send me back.” Faust gave a sad smile. “Child, no soul can return to the mortal plane when their time comes. Death is not so bad once you get used to it. Now come we have much to—” Suddenly, a piece of parchment appeared in a puff of smoke before Faust much to her surprise. She read it and then made a little “o” with her mouth before dismissing the letter. “I see, you were in the body of a phoenix when you died.” “Yes, the same one who I’m going to send to the afterlife when I get back,” growled Luna. Luna blinked before raising her eyebrow. “Wait a minute, if you're an all seeing goddess how come you didn’t know that? Aren’t you always watching us down below?” “Oh, no. You are thinking of Santa Hooves. I just look down every so often on people. Most of the time I only help out when I feel like it,” shrugged Faust. “That... doesn’t sound very divine like,” muttered Luna. “Well, we all can’t be as great as that Jehovah guy or Allah or God or whatever he calls himself. He has way too many names and I swear he cheats at poker,” said Faust, rolling her eyes. “What?” “Nothing, just go back to being mortal,” said Faust before blasting Luna with her horn. *** Luna gasped for air as she felt the breath of life once more and felt her body as good as new. Philomena walked over and asked, “Are you okay? You burst into flames and then reappeared again like a normal pheonix. Good thing you were in my body, huh?” “Yeah, also your an idiot,” muttered Luna as she got up and pointed at Philomena. “Now get it right this time!” Philomena nodded before closing her eyes and concentrated. This time a lime green beam erupted from her horn and hit Luna. Luna began to slowly grow in size and shape, forcing Philomena to back away as she grew. Realizing she was gonna soon take over the entire street, Luna flew up into the air as she felt the magic strengthening her. When the beam was finally done powering Luna, she was now a phoenix the size of the monster cat. The monster cat itself looked up and saw the giant flaming bird and hissed. Luna smirked before unleashing the might of her radiant flames. The cat meowed in terror as bits of itself slurped off and it began to shrink. Smaller and smaller it began to form as the heat increased. “It’s working! Keep it up!” shouted Philomena. Luna concentrated and continued to do so until the ice cream cat was no bigger than a tiny kitten. When the flames stopped the once giant cat looked around and saw it was back to normal. Philomena walked up to it and smirked. “Woof.” The cat ran away in an instant. Philomena sighed and looked up to Luna with a smile. “It worked! “Great! Now change me back to my normal size!” echoed the giant phoenix. Philomena nodded and began to charge her horn until she stopped and blushed. “Um, how do I do that?” Luna sighed. This was gonna take awhile. *** “Pinkie Pie, this isn’t gonna work,” said Dash as she carried the back end of the sleeping Princess Celestia. “And why do I have to be the one carrying her butt?!” “Shh! Do you want the crowd to hear us!” whispered Pinkie as she carried the upper end of Celestia towards the balcony. Below them was a crowd of ponies who were muttering to themselves. Apparently, Princess Celestia had announced she would talk to her subjects about the recent disasters that had been going on; including the near end of the world via moon bomb. Approaching the railing, the two pranksters dropped the princess with a hard thud and wiped the sweat from their brows. For a princess of grace and beauty, Celestia was quite a heavy pony. “I’m starting to think those cake rumors are more than just hearsay,” muttered Dash as she winced upon feeling the muscles in her back ache. “Come on, help me carry her up,” said Pinkie Pie as she grabbed one foreleg of the princess and Dash the other. They hoisted her up as Dash got behind the princess to keep her somewhat standing despite being as limp as a corpse. “Perfect! Now just present her to the crowd, wave her arms around, and I’ll do the talking.” “Okay, but hurry up! I don’t know how long I can hold her!” painted Dash as she brought the princess towards the edge of the balcony where everypony saw her and quieted down. Pinkie Pie, hidden from the crowd, cleared her throat and shouted in her best impersonation of Princess Celestia. “Greetings, my dear subjects!” While Pinkie talked, Rainbow Dash did her best to lift Princess Celestia’s hooves. “I know that some of you are all worried about the strange things that have been going on, but I can assure you that everything is okay. You guys need to chill and all, seriously.” “Pinkie, what are you doing?” whispered Dash, who could feel the confused stares from up here. Still, she did her best to control Celestia in according to Pinkie’s words. “Like come on guys, we’ve dealt with so many problems that have been taken care of we do not need to worry anymore. We just need to all relax, have some cupcakes, maybe a party or two, and then get back to smiling more! In fact, I decree that everypony must smile everyday!” proclaimed Pinkie, with a smile of her own. “Pinkie!” hissed Rainbow Dash. “In fact, the one pony who really knows how to party is Pinkie Pie! Let it be known that she is Equestria’s Royal Party Planner!” “But that’s not a real title!” shouted one noble. “It is now!” “Pinkie! I can’t.... hold... much... longer...” whispered Rainbow Dash, turning red as she bent her back and Princess Celestia flailed around with her. The crowd continued to mutter and ask what was going on as Pinkie nervously replied, “Uh! No need to worry! Just stretching out the thousand year old muscles!” Pinkie then turned to Rainbow Dash and tried to pull Celestia towards her, suddenly the two lost grip as they, and the crowd below, gasped upon Celestia’s body being thrown over the balcony. Ponies screamed as they saw their beloved ruler fall towards the ground. Pinkie and Dash ducked under the balcony and stayed silent until a large thud noise was heard. All was quiet. Not even a bird chirped. Pinkie eyed Rainbow Dash and asked, “Do you think she survived?” “Twilight said alicorns can survive falls up to a thousand feet. She’ll be okay,” reassured Rainbow Dash. “That’s good... but do they know that?” asked Pinkie Pie, nodding down below. “Oh my Faust! Princess Celestia is dead!” shouted one member of the crowd before everypony went into a panicking riot. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie looked at each other. “Uh, oh.”