//------------------------------// // (NOT) Sweet And Elite // Story: Shisno Chronicles: Friendship is Magic // by nightelf37 //------------------------------// Special 7: The Deadpool Incident Last year, between summer and autumn in Equestria Prime… If someone else could've been the "Great Overseer" other than Lord Record Keeper, he would've gladly given it to them. Sadly, the some of the higher-ups in Hadithi said that those who don't desire power are best to wield it; that way, they wouldn't abuse it. Right now, he was about to have a meeting with some of the Branch Heads. Hub Equestria wasn't one 'metropolis'; there were plenty of towns scattered across the land, each of them with a Branch Head. They serve as the equivalent of mayors/governors of towns; Record can't handle everything by himself. The Branch Heads are called such because not everybody is technically a Timer and would want to be the ones who overlook their children's activities as Field Ops without Record hounding on them. The capital of Hub Equestria was called Canterhub, which 'belonged' to the Aidem-Timer branch (the maiden name of his wife is Aidem), and took care of any recruits they acquire. It covered not only their children, but also their siblings and their children. Any cousins and beyond however—and some of Record's and Ebony Spell's siblings—were either under the jurisdiction of Branch Heads or Branch Heads themselves. The geography of Hub Equestria was completely different from that of the client worlds it was connected to though, so Canterhub was not built on a mountain like Canterlot. For one, while the world has its share of mountains, valleys, lakes, rivers, canyons, swamps, deserts, and volcanoes, every town the Story Crew had managed to set up was on relatively flat land and was all in a single landmass, the sea surrounding them. Naval exploration was already underway. The first pony to appear on the screens was an earth pony who goes by the "alias" Kage. She was head of the Timer-Ellits branch, and her husband had…similar origins as Record himself. Their eldest son, who goes by Kiroku, has been known to express his desire to prove himself superior to Chronicle in combat. The second pony to appear was a pegasus who goes by Comic Relief, who was the head of the Scimoc-Timer branch. From what he heard, the Equestria one of Comic's children seems to be "crossed over" with the Marvel Earth Cluster; they shared multiple aspects with "Marvel Earth", but was not connected to it like another of their Equestrias, Equestria-15, is connected to the Midchilda Cluster. Another Equestria that is the 'assigned world' of another of Comic's children has the same predicament, but with the DC Earth Cluster. The third was Current Headline's unicorn wife, Ivory Diction, and representative of the Toliwis-Aidem branch. Current Headline, Ebony Spell's cousin, is the assigned Field Op for Surfer Dude Equestria, where Sun Bro and Moon Dude rule. She serves as the 'foil' to Current; where he is laid-back she is serious, where she is straightforward he his guileful, and where he lays out the "brilliant" plan she makes the steps. All in all, a somewhat compatible couple. But you readers probably don't care about the family unless they're gonna be important in the story, right? Moving on… Once the last of the Branch Heads was on-screen, the meeting could begin. Or it would've were it not for an alert that came in his earpiece. Everybody else saw his face turn into attention that was not focused on anything in his sight, and 'listened in'. "Lord Keeper, we've got bad news, very bad news, and good news," called the operative. "Give me the bad." "We've got a Merc with the Mouth 'screened'. He's making his way to Canterhub as we speak." "The very bad news?" "I got word from Field Operative Annals that Princess Celestia of the Solar Empire is about to invade. Again." "Second time this month," mused Kage. "It gets worse." Several red alarms shone and klaxons rang. "Corona Blaze is about to breach our 'wall' and is coming here as well." "And the good news?" asked Record. "Princess Philomena is coming to visit. Perhaps we could ask for her assistance." "I plan to do more than that." The family head then turned to the Branch Heads. "This meeting is adjourned. For now, we prepare for battle." With that, the screens were deactivated, and Record 'moved' the communications mirror, emitting the frequency to contact the Lunar Republic. The Lunar Republic and the Solar Empire have been at war with each other long before Hub Equestria was even terraformed. It's also unknown how 'Tyrant Celestia' found out about Hub Equestria as Annals did not tell them (voluntarily or through torture, he hasn't even bee found out), but right after that, 'Republican Luna' made contact with Record Keeper and told him of their feud, and that they'll assist him in keeping the Solar Empire out of Hub Equestria's land. Record was still unable to find time to storm Solar Empire Equestria and stop its tyrant ruler for good; while he wanted to be neutral, constant attacks forced him to take sides. And it's very chaotic in Hadithi, at least in the business part of it, so he can't call for their help directly; other Hub worlds might need it more than he. The system is extremely complicated. The mirror wavered and showed Calyndar, the Field Op assigned there. Blue-violet pegasus, light blue hair tied in a bun both mane and tail, teal eyes. "Princess Luna," the pegasus called to one side. "Lord Record's calling." And then Luna showed up. Republican Luna, just to distinguish from other Princess Lunas. "Is the Solar Empire attacking your world again?" she deadpanned. "Yeah," the alicorn stallion answered. "Explains the quiet here. Although we did repel an Alpha Strike from some 'space-farers', called themselves the Komato. Drove them off with their tails between their legs." Record sighed in relief. The Komato were a warmonger race who travel worlds and destroy them, hunting for another alien race called the Tasen. The former tried to attack Hadithi once, chasing some remnants of the latter. Not one of them returned, though they didn't stop trying. The Book Troop don't like them either. One of the many cross-world organizations that span the multiverse. "Okay. I'll get the troops mobilized. You just hang tight." "Will do." SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM Elsewhere in Hub Equestria… Deadpool was whistling to himself as he casually strolled towards Canterhub to do what he was paid to do; assassinate the residing Lord named Thomas Timer. "No, I'm not! There's no way I'm just gonna stroll there!" But there are no motorcycles or any other cool vehicles, said one voice in his head. This is a world of ponies! They've got no use for automatic vehicles! A pity we're possibly a bit out of character, said another voice. This author clearly has no idea how to write us. Why isn't the author using color for me?! Oh, thanks! Oh, wait! Wrong shade! It's supposed to be darker! "Chill, guys," said Deadpool as he found something useful. "Oh, wait. I don't say that, do I?" Like I said. No idea how to write us. "Eh, whatever. Let's go!" Deadpool managed to assemble some explosives be brought with him. After setting them against a wood panel he found somewhere, then blew them up, sending himself flying. "Whooo!!!" As he flew in the air, en route to Canterhub, he saw portals open, and out of them came pegasi armed to the teeth with weapons and armor. He did not know it, but they were from the Solar Empire. "Yo!" he greeted. "I'm lookin' for a Thomas Timer! Any of you know 'im? Supposed to be the Lord of this dump." "Only Lord I know here is Record Keeper," one of them replied as everypony moved away from Deadpool; they didn't trust any non-pony. However, he looked too dangerous to try and kill right now, with his katanas, and his tiny cannons called 'guns'. "Oh. Guess I should ask him. Or maybe that's his nickname!" These are ponies we're talking about, whose names are often just nouns, verbs, adjectives, words you can easily find in a dictionary. That means Record Keeper is Thomas Timer's name here! I wonder what our pony name would be? "I don't wanna think about that right now. Maybe later. Oh look! We're about to land!" Correction, he crashed. Inside a chemical vat. It would take him a while to get out and heal himself completely. SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM Princess Philomena, who was also dubbed the "phoenix princess" by Record's non-Field Op relatives, stepped out of the portal mirror. She was a red alicorn, with a pure yellow mane that flowed in a non-existent wind, and her wings had orange tips. She had the same kinds of royal trinkets as most Princesses; shoes, necklace, and crown. Her cutie mark depicted a phoenix rising from the ashes. And outside she could hear chaos. She immediately exited the room, and found a orange dragonling that reminded her of her student's assistant Peewee. He turned around to see her. "Oh good, you're here, Princess Philomena! Lord Record needs help!" "So I've noticed," she said. "I'm on it!" Casting a spell, Philomena transfigured herself into a phoenix, and quickly sped her way across the town, which had become a war zone. Solar Imperials on one side (identifiable by their golden armor), Hub Equestria's operatives and recruits on the other, with Lunar Republicans (with dark armor) shortly joining the fray via portals. It amazed and horrified her what Record's subjects could do. One was loading up an advanced version of a catapult to open fire on Imperial pegasi. A non-unicorn used something to teleport themselves away from the Imperials trying to pull her apart…and have an explosive take their her place. A diamond dog was in a contraption shaped like himself but larger that followed his movements. She could understand why Record didn't want to share all this; her world was not ready. And as insurance, thanks to something in this world, she would never bring any of this up to anybody not in the know. I hope things don't get any worse, she thought to herself. And then a huge portal opened in the sky. And out of it came an alicorn that was reminiscent of her pet phoenix Celestia if she was thoroughly ticked off perpetually. Philomena let off a mental sigh. Rock's right. I should stop tempting fate. SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM Record Keeper was just finished crushing an Imperial's skull against a wall with his bare hoof. He was in earth pony form, which he was much more comfortable with in battle. He loved fighting (it was in his blood), but he did not like senseless killing. Why couldn't that tyrant just leave me alone? Unlike most ponies, Record Keeper does not use magic to fight, not even the latent earth pony magic in his current form, not that he knew of any spells they had for combat anyway. Instead, he manipulates a natural life force energy that is made up of "vigor, courage, and being in one's true mind"; ki. He could also use ki for telekinesis and flight, an his body is much more resistant to damage than even an alicorn's; the diadem is merely for the sake of appearances, as well as the feeling of being taller, although he prefers to be as small as possible in combat. Using spells is fun in its own way too. "Where's that blasted false alicorn?!" a voice familiar to him came. "Too bad he's not an all-loving hero who would risk his life to protect ponies! If only I could get to his relatives…" Record rolled his eyes. It was Corona Blaze, whom Comic Headline nicknamed the Arson Princess…and the mare who killed Record's brother. He called her Blaze for short, so as to differentiate from the Tyrant Sun, also named Corona, in Luna Equestria. And no, he was not going to use that Princess Bride line on her. He sped his way to where he heard the voice, trusting the Republicans and the Story Crew members under his technical jurisdiction to ward off the Imperials. SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM Elsewhere, there was pure bloodshed happening, and copious amounts of it was being spilled. Only an extremely skilled or immensely powerful fighter could deliver this much death. It couldn't be Record; his killing blows are often melee and thus wouldn't draw a much blood. It couldn't be Blaze; her carnage would've left charred bodies with any blood opening cauterized. Same goes for Tyrant Celestia, but with less carnage. Republican Luna's were humane like Record's. And Philomena detests killing, but will fight to near-death if necessary. Come on, Author! We all know who it is! "So, tell me everything you know about this Record Keeper guy! I'm kinda hired to kill him!" Deadpool was holding up one of the Solar Empire Army's lieutenants. By one of his katanas in the belly. And his wings have already been cut off. The lieutenant spilled whatever beans he had. Record Keeper was a powerful alicorn. And because he doesn't have the sun or moon as his domain, his abilities don't have a theme, and thus he can be somewhat unpredictable. The ones they've learned so far pertained to utility and combat, and has no elemental preference. He also has an earth pony form, which he is at his most dangerous, moreso than his alicorn form. As an earth pony, he attacks with his bare hooves, is very fast, and only an alicorn can keep up with him in a fight. He also has extremely high resistance to damage in both forms. Deadpool thanked the lieutenant by getting rid of him. He lost his head when that happened. Then again, the merc had lost it a long time ago. Don't go confusing the readers, Author. Not even for the sake of a joke. Well, he is still practicing writing! I'll admit his grammar and punctuation are spot on for someone like him, but his creativity… "Voices, shut up!" Deadpool cried out as he cleaned his blades with his suit. "Seriously, I hope he never has to write me again. Now where can I find Record? Ah well, any random direction will have to do." With that, he dashed off in some random direction. Incidentally, it would lead him to where his target would be. SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM At the central square of Canterhub, five alicorns were converging, having sensed each other's power. One is a princess with the likeness (and currently, form) of a phoenix. One is a solar tyrant who advocates the superiority of ponykind. One is a lunar ruler who advocates equality in all races with sapience. One is a madmare who torched her world and all of its inhabitants. One is the essential ruler of this world and not really an alicorn. And one decidedly non-alicorn was about to join in… The moment the five converged, right before their magic could clash and result in a giant explosion, Record's forces already had something prepared. Due to one previous clash that resulted in millions worth of damage, it's been decided that in the event of more than one alicorn or being of similar potential threat level about to battle one another, they will be transported to a pocket dimension the Story Crew has created/discovered for this situation; the Battle Matrix. The portal was activated, and it took them all in. And one certain "third party". The Battle Matrix has been designed to change form and attributes according to the will of those in the Story Crew, and right now that is Record Keeper. He had the Battle Matrix turn into the Earth's moon, complete with what its astronauts have left behind. Of course, as it's a simulation, they're not really there, and Record set the air to breathable, and their spawn points to 'equal distance from each other'. The two ancient rivals naturally found each other and were beginning to fight bitterly. The phoenix princess faced the great arsonist, the former reverting to her default alicorn form as she fought fire with fire. Record was about to assist Philomena when he sensed a bullet come his way and jerked his head to dodge it…as well as a flurry of more. He turned to see a certain red-and-black humanoid holding twin pistols, has twin katanas sheathed at his back, and a daring look through that mask of his. "Ciao!" Deadpool greeted. There was only one reason Deadpool would try to kill someone like him. "Someone hired you to kill me?" Record guessed. "Why? Think you can one-up the offer? 'Cause I'd love to fight you, anyway." Record frowned as he wondered what to do; he obviously doesn't want to die, at least not some mercenary (even one like Deadpool) all because of a contract, but he's not sure if he could/should 'use' the Merc to help him fight off the two solar madmares. "Sorry, but you'll have to get through two others who might steal your contract. They're out to kill me too." And with that, he took off straight for Corona Blaze. He did not fear burning; even like this he can physically withstand anything she can throw at him, it's mentally handling the eventual stress of prolonged fighting that's the problem. "Oh no you don't!" said Deadpool as he went after his mark. SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM It would be promised later that nobody talk about the Deadpool incident, because what happened after was something nobody wanted to talk about. Prior to the incident, Record was known to always fight head-on, using only himself, his abilities, any devices with him, and allies he can count on in a fight, no matter the enemy's tricks. Not once has he ever demonstrated any sort of guile. In this one, he used an 'enemy' who was after him to deal with another enemy after him; not only was it a guileful act, what he did that time was something the higher-ups in the Story Crew frowned at; intentionally getting those from 'target worlds' involved with one another. He sped over to Corona Blaze, but Deadpool landed on him…and used him as a stepping stone to get to the arsonist. She tried to roast him, but he just laughed the entire time as he attempted to ride her, somehow pulling at her flaming mane. He 'drove' her right into the feuding sisters, crashing into the elder of the two. Record advised Republican Luna to move back while Deadpool burned himself as he scuffled with their opponents. "Are you sure he'll be fine?" Philomena asked as she, Republican Luna, and Record watched Deadpool burn. His clothes, his skin, and he's still fighting and quipping without a care in the world. It also almost induced them to vomit. "Don't worry. We know this Deadpool guy," Record assured. "He has regenerative powers so powerful he cannot die, and he's so completely bonkers it makes Princess Pinkie Pie seem completely mundane. The fact she isn't a killer helps too." "Should we not assist him?" Republican Luna asked. "He's kind of after me. Apparently, somebody hired him to kill me. Thankfully, in spite of his nuttiness, he can be negotiated with. We just need to get rid of—" "Incoming!" Deadpool screamed as he was riding Tyrant Celestia and heading their way. The two good-aligned Princesses moved out of the way, but Record got himself in position…and clotheslined the tyrant, while also blocking Deadpool's katana with a single hoof. Hooves are tougher than hands, and Record was one tough fighter. "Come on, Record!" the Merc said as he followed up with additional slashes while Republican Luna closed in on her sister. "Arent'cha gonna turn your hair gold or somethin'?" "Don't need to for the likes of you," Record replied as he deftly deflected the swords by the sides. While his body can withstand blades so that they can't even cut deep, his nerves cry out when they slice at him; he's just very good at ignoring all but the blows that reach building-leveling levels and beyond. And then a torrent of fire came up from behind Deadpool, consuming him and almost consuming Record as well were it not for his timely evading. "You insolent—" Corona Blaze began. She was cut off by a couple of spheres of energy from Record, and it felt like he had just punched her. That was because the spheres were generated from Record's ki; a magic attack would've had a distinct difference in feeling and effectiveness. This also cancelled the fire spell she was using on Deadpool, allowing him to fall to the floor. Thanks to his healing factor, he was back on his feet in an instant. "Hey! No stealing my contract!" The Merc then leaped right for Blaze, used a teleporter device on his person to dodge the incoming fireball, and landed on her back. "Do I even ride like this? Who cares?" He took out his katanas and was about to drive them into the madmare's neck when she teleported away, leaving him to fall again. She emerged right behind Record, who immediately sensed her (from the heat as well as his instincts) and brought his head back to butt her with it, then followed with a left hook, and then a right. SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM The rest of the fight went solidly to the side of good after that; Tyrant Celestia managed to locate their point of entry and found a way to teleport out of the Battle Matrix. She would then order her forces to fall back, as even she knew the battle was lost. That left Blaze alone with Record and his allies. And the wild card Deadpool. After completely demolishing her, she decided to teleport back to her world…somehow taking Deadpool with her in the process. Record was relieved after that and—in spite of her objections—asked the Lunar Republic to return to their world, even as its Princess wanted to assist in the cleanup. Princess Philomena was asked to return too, as she had duties to her Equestria. As for him, he'll give his report to the higher-ups in the Story Crew about the incident, ending it with a request to find out who paid Deadpool and to get it off of him. He also decided to leave out his act of guile, which could get him in trouble, and had everyone involved promise not to mention the whole thing. He didn't make it a Princess Pinkie Promise, though; he will not involve her in anything if he can help it. It was difficult being Lord Record Keeper. But this was the task he was given, and he was going to perform it to the best of his ability while maintaining peace.