//------------------------------// // Proud Graduate Of The Twilight Sparkle School Of Not Thinking This Through // Story: Post Negative Comments Only // by Estee //------------------------------// With five minutes left to go in the budget meeting, the entire affair had essentially turned into a game, and Cadance was scoring the match participants as having tallied fifteen zeroes, all counted by one increasingly-desperate referee. Currently, the contest would go to the first crystal pony with the courage to actually play, the prize was her everlasting respect, and the competitors were apparently determined to spend the rest of their lives in refusing to get anywhere near the imported rounders pitch. She gripped the virtual ball in metaphorical field, weakly pushed it in the general direction of an imaginary home plate, a moronic mistake of a floater which nopony of talent would be able to resist lunging at. And hoped. "So," she cautiously said, "looking at what we're going to be putting into education for the coming year... I'm starting to think we're allotting a few too many bits -- pardon me, Crystakes -- in that direction. After all, we're clearly going to need road maintenance very soon, because those enchantments can't possibly hold forever even if they're showing every sign of trying to do so. So I was thinking that in order to free up funds towards a little polishing and checking for cracks, we could simply request that the parents do their part." She waited. "Do their part... in what sense, Princess?" the eldest mare at the low-set table nervously asked. A tiny bead of moisture was hanging from her snout, and the light passing through it added three extra rainbows to the myriad filling the room. There was a luminous symphony in progress, and every last bit of it had been composed from flop sweat. "Well," Cadance carefully tried, "parents go over homework with their children, yes?" From around the table: "Yes!" "Always!" "Every night!" "No, but... I don't have any foals yet... do you want me to have some right now? I'd need to get married first -- unless you don't want me to... I guess I could just... did you have somepony in mind, Princess? Because anypony you pick out for me is just fine, really they would be, I trust your judgment -- more than I trust my own..." A little patter bounced off the table. It sounded like raindrops hitting crystal. It was not. "Then... um..." Cadance took a deep breath. "Maybe if every parent in the Empire got home a few hours early from work and used that time to teach their children? Without pay, of course. Just to make a... um... contribution. And sure, I know it sounds like we'd be losing a lot of work hours and hurting the economy while we're still trying to rebuild and reconnect to the rest of the world, not to mention the really minor detail of paying the teachers so much less..." She was trying to hold her own sweat back. Surely this had to be stupid enough to work. "...but it's not as if teachers could ever be important, right? In fact, now that I think about it, teachers aren't important! Only education is! And you don't have to be a teacher to educate! Why, parents teach their foals everything for the first few years of their lives! We're just asking them to -- keep it up a little longer. And when you think of the benefits for road maintenance..." It was, in her opinion, fantastically idiotic. The sheer non-brilliance of her moronic proposal outshone every coat in the room and at any moment, somepony would scream out 'My eyes!' or better yet, 'My brain!' and tell her -- "-- that makes perfect sense, Princess!" "It's your best idea yet!" "How many hours did you want them to give up? Three? Four? How about they skip lunch and run tutorial drills during that time? Think of the additional savings to food budgets! And if you wanted to raise taxes and take some more of that for the roads..." "...and really, gender doesn't matter... I mean, you might have overheard me talking about some dates before this, but if you really have my perfect partner picked out for me which of course you do because you're all about love and you'd know so much better than I do concerning what I truly need, just consider me to have already adjusted...?" Her eyes closed. Her body slumped as low as it could, which nearly required having all four legs splay out, and several ponies helpfully shifted even further away just in case she wound up needing the extra space. A soft peal of bell tones rang through the conference room as her chin hit the table. Several eternal seconds passed. Somewhere around the fourth epoch of self-imposed darkness, she heard somepony get up and trot out of the room. Offended by her idiocy to the point of departure? Was it possible? Had somepony just won? More hoofsteps, coming back... ...something nudged against the left side of her head. It was soft. It was cool. It wouldn't dream of being insistent, because there was a chance that might turn out to be Bad. "Clearly..." A pause while the most junior cabinet member swallowed. "Clearly we've been at this too long, Princess. You're tired." The pillow made its presence known again. "Rest now, Princess, just rest... or we could carry you to your bedroom, that might be best..." Which started the first argument of the session. "We can't carry her! That's presumptuous! Only her husband should touch her!" "But what if there's a crisis?" a mare voice asked, speaking up for the first time all day. "We can't just let her suffer because we're afraid to make contact! We won't always be able to find Captain Armor within seconds!" "Well," a middle-aged stallion proudly proposed, "there's an obvious, simple solution. I'm surprised none of you have seen it yet." She kept her eyes closed. Hearing it was bad enough: she didn't have to look at it. "And what's that?" somepony asked. "We can bring the Royal Bed right here! We don't touch her, she gets to properly rest, and all of us together are certainly more than capable of balancing it on our backs!" "But... we'd have to go into the Royal Bedroom... that's practically... treason..." "It's for the Princess," somepony insisted. "We have cause. I'm sure she'll be lenient at the trial... I mean... our grandfoals might be forgiven..." "But it's wider than the doorway," a young voice noted. "A lot wider." A senior mare hastily cut in with "Not that we're saying you need the extra space, Princess, your proportions are so elegant... much more so than everypony else's..." "Our ruler is tired! Nothing is more important than taking care of her during this hour of need! We'll just take out the wall!" Murmurs of excitement. A third pillow nudge, just in case that plan had any chance of working out. Thoughtfully, "What do you think we should do with the shards?" Cadance sighed. She heard all fifteen ponies pull back from the table. Hooves scuffed at crystal, and the floor played a song of panic. "Everypony..." she wearily said. "I am tired. I know we have to get this budget passed soon, but... I'm calling the end of the session. We'll pick it up at eleven in the morning tomorrow. I'd appreciate it if everypony would go home and think about --" The next words would have been '-- a more feasible way to educate our fillies and colts.' But she had already given the first part of the order, and so nopony was still present to hear the suggestion. Cadance slowly opened her eyes, looked at the little puddles of sweat spaced around the conference table. At least it was just sweat. This time. Celestia had been right. This just might be the worst part of being a ruling Princess. "Somepony," she asked the air, "please tell me when I'm being stupid..." [/hr] She waited until they were in bed before she told him. Part of it was because her husband had problems of his own, needed their dinner meetings for proper venting so none of the pain and frustration plus the occasional bout of all-out anguish which came from trying to integrate crystal forces into Equestrian standards would reach their sanctuary. The bedroom was supposed to be for them and once they were both inside, the Empire was to be left whimpering outside the doorway, begging for attention which would only come during a crisis, which meant one night out of three anyway and would continue to do so until some of her staff adjusted to the new definition of 'crisis' and realized 'The bath water was slightly tepid: who's going to prison?' was no longer it. Once they were together... while she was spooning him and he was muttering about how surprisingly heavy her legs were, how his entire body fell asleep starting from the limbs in because the mass of an alicorn body was mostly good for cutting off circulation, a complaint he'd been making since their second night together... (He still occasionally faked having to wake up each leg in turn when morning came, and she loved him for that.) ...that was when they were supposed to be nothing more than wife and husband. Partners. Bond-mates. Soul-linked. They had made that agreement early on, well before coming to the Empire, and that was why it made her proud that there could be so much as a single night in five when they did not break it. He listened to all of it, and did not complain about the disruption of their quiet time. She loved him for that too. "...and I swear it's getting worse," she sighed. "It's like... they think I've been happy with them for too long, and when it breaks, it'll be so much worse for the duration before it happened at all, so they'll do anything to keep me happy, Shining, anything. Nopony argues with me. Nopony debates. No matter how stupid my proposals truly are, whatever I say is brilliant, the most brilliant thing ever just because I said it, at least until we get to the next words and if those contradict the first ones, then not only am I even more right than before, but they start apologizing for not being intelligent enough to reconcile the difference. Or they would if they weren't terrified to bring it up at all. At first, I just thought they were happy about being free and it was all being directed at me in thanks for what happened... Spike really should have stayed around to get some more of it... but now... it's like they're pretending they're happy. Because they're..." She couldn't say it. "...I could be screwing everything up," Cadance softly said instead. "And nopony will ever tell me." "I will," Shining quietly answered. "Every time." "You haven't said anything about the Empire's budget," she miserably challenged. "Because you haven't done anything wrong. Why am I supposed to criticize errors which aren't there?" A pause. "Besides, I'm military. Somepony tells me how much I can spend and then I try to figure out how to make it gallop three times further than it was ever meant to go. I don't set the funds: I just figure out how we're supposed to use them. If you showed me your current draft, I'd just decide the commas and columns were trying to prevent the numbers from getting into a proper defensive formation and start working on how to take them out. You know how to set everything up, love: I don't. You've had training. The Princess spent years and years with you, getting you ready for these kinds of moments. I remember when you took over the Day Court --" "-- I didn't." Misery was too weak a word, especially for so helpless a ruler. "I was there, Katydid. You were on her bench, directing the arguments, cutting them off, getting things on track..." "I was on her bench," Cadance sadly agreed. "And that's why the Day Court paid attention to me -- or at least in my general direction, because she was standing on my left, listening to all of it, supervising... They let me run things because they knew it was acting. Roleplaying. That as soon as I got something wrong, she'd step in and set everything back on track, Shining. They only paid attention to me as an extension of her, and one which was still attached to her flank. I never ran anything, not once in my whole life after she took me in, not until I came here..." She pressed her barrel against his back, felt the vibrations of his breathing as he searched for the words which could make everything better. Words which didn't exist. "She never took over once that day," Shining finally said. "It was all you." "Because they wouldn't act up with her there. Because they were afraid. Just like --" and the words still would not come. "You've made up budgets before," her soul-link told her. "Lots of practice ones. You're written concept laws. Even if they never had force, they were real. You're not going to get anything wrong." Almost a cry of despair. "It was just acting, all of it! Scripts she had me write, where the play never went on the road and the curtain would be dropped on the first flubbed line! Nothing which meant anything, ever, nothing real! How can you know that I won't screw up, especially when nopony will tell me --" "Because I love you." A tiny smile quirked its way across her lips. "It makes you a lousy judge." "Another reason I'm just military." She pressed her legs against him more tightly: he grunted a little. "Katydid... you studied world politics. Do you remember the term 'honeymoon period?'" Another, sadder smile. "What we never really got to have?" He sighed, shifted in her grip. "Try again." "It's -- when a new ruler comes in and everypony goes a little easier on them for a while because they're letting them get used to the office," Cadance semi-quoted. "Or they get away with mistakes because at least for a little bit of time, they look good just for not being the -- the last ruler..." Honeymoon periods were most common in Mazein and Protocera. The minotaurs generally granted a moon or so for the victor to settle in: after all, she'd proven she could take on all comers and none of the still-aching defeated wanted to test that before their own renewed training periods had wrapped up. With griffons, it was generally considered polite to hold back the first impeachment proposal until the new officeholder actually finished taking their oath. He nodded. "And in this case, love, the last ruler was Sombra. They're giving you a honeymoon, and it's going to be a long one because every single day, they wake up and you're still not him. They trot to work without fear of punishment because an off-hoof sounded the wrong note from the street and broke up his favorite lockstep composition. They sleep because the terror of having the shadows in their bedroom creep towards their necks is starting to fade. Everything which happened to them under what he claimed as his right... they don't remember every last moment of it because the enchantment took enough with it on departure to give them a chance at healing, and I'm thankful for that every day. But there are echoes, and those will take time to fade. They love you for not being him... but if you give them enough time, they'll love you for being you." They were still for a time, if you ignored Shining's continued (and ignored) shifting. "You left something out," Cadance whispered. "The part where I got there first and they can't have you?" She closed her eyes. "The part where they were afraid of him, they still are, I see some of them look at every shadow as if it's about to become his. They had so much time where they were ordered to love, more time than I can even make myself think about. They were told to make fear look like love... and now if they love me at all..." Of the three alicorns, she was smallest. Least proficient, with the smallest amount of power and a trick she spent her life trying not to use. Weakest. But she could be strong enough for this. "...it's because they're afraid of me," she whispered. "The longer I'm in charge, the more they think of me not as a savior, but as their ruler. They only know one kind of rulership, Shining... the rule of fear. Every way they dealt with Sombra... it's being transferred, a tenth-bit at a time, to me. Disagree with me and they're not showing love. Speak against something I've proposed and the adoration isn't there. Do anything other than treating me as perfect and they've convinced themselves it's the prison, or the mines, or -- the laboratory." They had burned most of the laboratory, and buried everything they'd been able to identify. "They remember enough," Cadance told her love. "Too much. And every day, they come that much closer to making me into that memory. Shining, how do I stop it? I've tried to be so careful! I don't give orders unless I absolutely have to, I haven't issued a single Princess Decree, I let them write most of the budget and just fixed a few things which they didn't know how to account for because those elements didn't exist when they last got to plan for themselves... and I don't know if I did any of it right, nopony will check my work..." "The Princess?" he offered, because the time of last resort seemed to have arrived. "She sent it back unopened," Cadance miserably sighed. "With a note that said I was in charge, not her, and it wasn't her place to advise another nation on their financial policies. And even if the budget is right... how am I supposed to deal with the rest? How do I fix it?" More shifting from the stallion body. "Katydid... I wish I had an answer for you. But I love you -- and I love you too much to give you false advice which I'm weaving from the edge of my mane when I don't know the answer. I know how to make the freshest of armor-wearing hay stalks nervous enough around and about me that they'll obey my orders, and how to reconnect when they've earned trust. I know how to scare, how to be the most fearful thing a new Guard's ever seen -- but getting ponies who'll question a truly stupid order is the job of the recruiters, and that was never my field. You don't want them afraid of you, because you feel they already are and acting scary will just make things worse. Other than by stealing their favorite bath soap, I sure don't know how to make somepony not love me. And if I did... you'd be the last pony I'd ever tell." He was outright wriggling now. "I love you too much to lie up an answer," he said. "And enough to hate myself for not having a real one." She pressed her snout into his mane, breathed in his scent, tried to let it take the weight of an Empire away. It didn't happen, and she simply held him tighter, taking strength from his presence if nothing else. Strength... but not answers. "Katydid?" Hopefully, "What is it?" "...you're... breaking... my... hips..." [/hr] She tried to pay attention during the morning briefing. It wasn't easy. The rhythmic nature of the unwanted praise could easily put her to sleep, especially after she'd already missed so much of it. "...and for tourism, Princess, we're finally starting to see a few arrivals from the South," Lapis nervously said. "Of course, they would have been here sooner if they just understood how wonderful you are, they would have rushed from their homes and moved here outright..." The slender young mare was beginning to sweat. "I'm expecting a tidal wave of immigration soon, we all are! Ponies and -- other things -- changing their citizenship just to be closer to you! It'll happen! Just you wait!" Cadance tried not to sigh. "How many tourist arrivals are we talking about, Lapis?" "...six," her junior secretary eventually admitted. "Seven, actually, but -- six ponies and... the other thing... But that's encouraging! We've only been under your most enlightened rulership for a mere two moons! Yes, we've had the Equestrian delegations helping us to -- update things -- but these are ponies coming of their own free will! They were asking after hotels! Six whole ponies, Princess! I just know we'll get more, especially once you submit your Games host site proposal!" Almost sotto voce, "And I know you'll win..." Not 'we'll'. 'You'll'. Cadance managed to keep from closing her eyes: the nearest pillow was far too close. "And the hotels are reopened?" The delegation members had been staying with crystal hosts, in the name of helping all parties acclimate all the faster. "...one," Lapis made herself say as the first small trickle of salt began to flow across the crystal floor. "It was a low-priority item -- initially! We can rechannel resources, provide a choice for the six and the -- other thing..." "One hotel is enough for six ponies," Cadance wearily not-quite-decreed. "Keep the restoration crews on their current assignments..." Wait. "Lapis... what did you mean by 'other thing'?" The slim mare was starting to dance in place now, as if she was trying to avoid racing off to a bathroom -- or simply moving in order to keep from fainting on the spot. "It's..." Helplessly, "Well, it talks, so we're hoping it respects the Treaty Of Menagerie... Princess, it's scary, it's too tall, it stands all wrong and speaks too loudly, it has these things where its forehooves should be and it was wandering around the city most of the night putting up posters, but we knew that if it was dangerous, you would have taken care of it already..." As gently as she could manage what was almost an order, "Describe 'it'?" Lapis did. It took four attempts, mostly because each of the first three ended with her trying not to pass out. Cadance asked to see a poster. Half the castle emptied out in a collective attempt to find her one. The remainder learned about the order after the fact and spent a trembling collective hour awaiting summary judgment regarding their lack of love. And when the one-sheet finally came back, their ruler spent some time reading it over before announcing she was leaving the castle, that she did not want a Guard complement following her, and everypony was to please stay at their stations and just treat the day as if it was perfectly normal until she came back for the budget meeting. She left. It took a mere thirty seconds for the palace medics to flood the throne room and begin treating the stressed-out staff. [/hr] Cadance was still learning the nooks and crannies of the capital, didn't have every street memorized yet and couldn't even begin to take a flight at the majority of the alleys. (She had done most of her initial surveys from overhead, and had kept right on doing so until she noticed that most of those below reacted to her shadow crossing them as a mouse whose Sun-lit body had just been dimmed by a passing hawk.) But there were certain features you just couldn't miss, and Geode Park was one of them. The city's central repository for mostly-greenery was one of the few things which had required no restoration whatsoever. Say what you would about Sombra in the dubious comfort that whatever horror wasn't fully accurate was simply understated, but he'd had an eye for beauty. Plants and crystal wove around each other in perfect harmony, because any such display of art which wasn't perfect meant the artist didn't love him quite enough and... well, it had encouraged a certain level of perfection to go with the heart-stopping terror. Mineral and vegetable worked and grew together in a way she'd never seen before, one which had forced every member of the Equestrian delegations to freeze in awe as they stared at what had been wrought. Sometimes the entrancement was so complete that it would take a full minute before their gazes reached the rusty discolorations which would forever mar the base, for Sombra's laboratory had also produced a rather unique method of initially watering the creations, and nothing anypony had tried got the blood out. As with other gardens across the continent, there was a maze. That had also required no restoration, although they'd needed three weeks before the center had been completely disarmed. She found the minotaur in the heart of it, standing directly where one absent trap would have taken his right hoof off. He was setting up the most uncomfortable-looking folding benches Cadance had ever seen, grumbling to himself all the way. "...and this one's gonna be empty, and we'll sort of make enough room between this row and the next for all the little refractors who ain't gonna show up to not pass down the middle, but not too much space because they've gotta be a little uncomfortable, or they would be if anypony actually came, which they ain't gonna because..." He did not look up as her shadow fell across him. The big muscles along arms and chest tensed, and that was only natural for a minotaur who'd just been surprised -- but it faded with surprising speed. "Heya, Princess," he said, still not bothering to look up: a particularly stubborn bench was refusing to unfold and so had priority. "Don't suppose you're buying a ticket? Not that I could probably charge ya and get away with it, for any meaning of 'charge' you wanna go with, but I'm getting kind of desperate to break the ice here..." She blinked. "How -- how did you know it was me?" She began to drop, looking for a good place to touch down. He chuckled. "Six ponies on the train with me. Three earthers, three horned. So unless somepony's hiding away from the hotel -- nice, by the way, little cramped but I kinda had to expect that -- it's one Empire -- two wings. Figured there was a chance you'd check me out once the customs officials got back to you. So how are you doin'?" She landed behind the last (current) row of benches. (It normally would have been a touchdown in an aisle, but he'd made them all so narrow...) "I'm a little curious, Mr. Will. I saw your poster..." She trailed off. How was she going to say the next part? Ask about motivations? Celestia would have voiced the question already, or gotten him to talk without ever having to say a word of her own... "You might have been the only one," Iron Will shrugged. Veins pulsed: the bench resisted. "Horns of the Ancients, come on already... I usually get a few scouts by this point. Checking out the site. Seeing if anypony else is gonna show up, anypony they know. My assistants would normally be beating the bushes already, but I couldn't bring them this far north: they don't do well on trains and it's the only way to get here. Special discount for a personal session? I won't be able to cover anything close to my expenses and I wasn't gonna make a profit on this gig no matter what, but a Crystake or two and I won't --" pulling at the locked metal joint "-- feel so --" his biceps were visibly swelling "-- red-tinged useless...!" The bench fully opened, which was another way to describe the thing completely coming apart in his hands. For a moment, they both stared at the pieces, and both gazes were equally helpless. Finally, he shrugged. "Got more," he said, and casually tossed the metal into a corner. "So you saw my poster. Any questions about it? I thought I had it translated right and I ran off copies in both languages just in case, but I don't know on the first and I'm looking for any no-shows excuse I can get." The sheer casualness of his manner was making her smile. "I was just curious about why you were bringing your business into the Empire," she honestly admitted. "You're the first minotaur we've had since the border reopened, Mr. Will, and I know Sombra made a real attempt to keep all of your people out. I'm not sure anypony here has seen someone from your species before this. They're having a little trouble -- getting used to you, and I know I'll have to explain that you're a herbivore. But you're the first to make the journey, and it's for a business venture..." "They need me," Iron Will simply said, and focused on a less stubborn bench. "They need me bad, Princess -- more than anypony I've ever seen or heard of. Need me so badly that they won't show up to find out just how strong that need is..." He put the unfolded result down, far too close to the bench in front of it. Stepped back, regarded the placement for a moment, then nudged it a hoofwidth closer. "You're an assertiveness trainer." "That's what it says on the poster." "And they need you." It was not a question. He briefly straightened up. Looked down at her. She almost took off on the spot just to make the eye contact level. "I study," he said. "I read. I listen to the stories, and some of ours are older than yours. I've got a little idea of what it was like up here. And..." Two more benches, and the aisle narrowed further. "...you know your history, right, Princess? Weren't around for anywhere near as much of it as the other two, but you know a lot of minotaurs got enslaved once. Hard to keep us, risky for anyone who tried... but they found their handle, and it happened. A long, long time ago. It's why we have a Senate... to make sure everyone gets a vote, a voice. That no one ever goes unheard." All she could do was nod, and so that was all that happened. "The crystal ponies..." Iron Will continued, "with the old guy in charge, I think I can call them slaves. Just-freed ones. And the first thing a former slave has to learn is how to say no. Disagree. Tell people to, you'll forgive my language here, go buck themselves. And how to do all of that only when it's right. Some ponies keep too much of themselves on lockdown and when the gates open, too much comes out: they pick the wrong targets, and those targets work out to everypony around them. Had that happen last year. Had to give a refund and didn't work out why until I talked to some ponies on my way out of town. But they've still got to learn how to argue, disagree, criticize -- but only when it's right." He straightened up again, quietly looked at her. "The crystals need that more than anypony in the whole charging world right now," he softly said. "So I came up here, cut my prices, hoped it would lure some ponies in. Make a start and if I just broke even, it was my good deed for a lifetime. All the while, thinking there was a good chance they'd be so scared of me, they wouldn't even show up. And so far..." He spread his hands. "...wish I was wrong. More than anything. But can't change my looks, horns, or hands. Can't order them to come. You can't --" But the last word which had fully registered had been the one she'd been longing to hear. "-- criticize," she half-whispered, and her eyes went wide with hope. "Huh?" "When you open the gates... make them feel like they have permission to truly speak their minds for the first time... it starts?" "...yeah," he cautiously replied. "But like I said, some ponies can go too far. Some other people, too. And they have to take that first hoofstep on their --" "-- and they haven't had the freedom, there's been consequences for speaking their minds before this, it's got to be a dam with the water building up behind it..." "Princess, I'm not sure what you're looking at right now, but I really don't think it's me." "...and if you just turn one valve..." His gaze was now laced with caution. She didn't notice. "Yeah," he eventually said. "For some of them. But all I do is show them where the valve is. Admittedly, I kinda force a little pressure. See these benches? New trick of mine. Nopony can really rest on them: little ridges in the metal, working against the coat -- it's an irritant. Aisles too narrow, gotta shove to get through, assert yourself a little... put it together, then stall my entrance about five minutes, and it makes 'em prickly, They're in the mood to go off on something, and in the end, I tell 'em they were set up, and they laugh... but before that..." "Turn the valve," Cadance whispered, and resisted the urge to dance on the spot. "All I have to do..." She had never seen a minotaur worried before, and so didn't recognize the expression. Not that it would have gotten through anyway. "Princess?" "Mr. Will... what were your expenses to come up here? Travel, lodging, and food." The number was named quickly, albeit with a confusion she completely missed. "Good. Submit that to the palace on an official invoice and I'll meet your costs, plus a profit margin. Don't worry about getting it through: I write the budget. Or will tomorrow. Please stay at least that long. I want you to see what you've wrought." "Princess, I appreciate the thought, but unless I get somepony in here, I'm not gonna change anything, and you can't order --" But she was already in the air, and the song in her heart blocked out the actual words. [/hr] She flew in through the throne room's main window, galloped the rest of the way to Lapis, who was still trying to get some hydration back. "Lapis! I need your help!" Quickly, "Please? It's just two things." Her secretary didn't quite go down. "Of course, Princess... what do you need from me? Did I do something -- wrong? Is there... something I have to fix... before anypony..." "No, no," Cadance hastily smiled. "They're simple things. First, tell the cabinet that the budget meeting is postponed until three in the afternoon tomorrow. You can send couriers for that one. Let them know --" as if they would ever ask for a reason "-- that it's the new schedule, and I won't postpone again. Will you do that?" "Of course," the too-agreeable assistant replied. "And your second order?" She tried and failed to ignore the word: the irony from what was coming next simply sent it deeper into her ears. The lightness in her heart pushed it back. This was necessary. "I need to make my first Princess Decree. And everypony in the Empire needs to hear it as soon as possible. Immediately would be ideal." "You... have an order for us?" "A decree. And everypony must know about it and follow it to the letter. Is there a messenger system we use? Notice boards? More couriers? Town criers? I've never done this before, Lapis... help me, please..." [/hr] She looked at the ear-shaped piece of crystal. It was five times the size of the real thing, bright and sparkling and humming with a magic she could already feel, the power gathering for use. It was almost enough to let her ignore the rust-hued stains at the base. "It only works for the recognized ruler of the Empire," Lapis shakily told her. "When you touch it, Princess... whatever you say next will ring out in every home, business, and street throughout your land. It's how -- he -- used to give us orders in a hurry. He said it was the only one like it anywhere, and -- there can never be another, there should never, not with what he did to..." Cadance stretched out her right foreleg, ready to make contact, hoping it would stop the shivering. But it only grew worse as her hoof came closer, and so she pulled back. It'll end. It'll end starting tomorrow. "All I have to do is touch it?" "That's... that's all." So she did. She felt the resonance before the magic, experienced a fraction of the final emotions from all those who had been ordered to make the sacrifice necessary for this wonder out of their love. It took several seconds and a hard head shake to get the screams out of her ears, and she knew they would return at the first moment of distraction. She wasn't going to use this thing unless she absolutely had to, and the ideal number of future uses was never again. But this was for the ponies who were under her care. For them, she would do it as many times as necessary. "Um..." The single hesitant syllable took over the world. Every surface echoed with her voice. Every piece of crystal acted as a channel, excepting those which simply magnified. Her vocal presence rang from the streets, filled homes, interrupted transactions, made the trains vibrate and knocked uncomfortable benches that much closer together. An Empire listened, and held its breath. "...this is Princess Cadance... but you all knew that... and I just wanted to speak to you -- to all of you at once, and I was told this was the fastest way. I won't do it again unless I absolutely have to. But this is -- a Princess Decree, my first one, and everypony in the Empire must follow it to the letter." Hastily, "It's short-term, though, I promise. Just a few hours, really. And... um... this is what I want you to do." She took a deep breath, which didn't make up for the ones her subjects weren't taking. "Starting from nine in the morning tomorrow, through nine in the evening that same night -- nopony in the Empire is to speak to me unless they do so with criticism. Honest, constructive criticism. If I ask you what I'm doing wrong, you tell me. If I'm being stupid, you are mandated to let me know. If my manestyle offends you, better let me know to cut it out!" Perhaps Celestia would have heard Lapis' eyes rolling back. Cadance did not. "In other words..." another joke seemed best "...if you can only say something nice, don't say anything at all. Twelve hours, starting tomorrow morning at nine. Thank you." She removed her hoof from the crystal ear, tried to shed the final echoes of agony with a smile. It didn't work, but she could pretend it did. "There," she said. "That should give everypony warning and enough time to think of what they need to say, Lapis... Lapis?" The blue field caught her secretary in mid-faint.