Ponyville had fallen to the vines. Not a single building was free of the choking grip if the strange black plants. Sure, many brave ponies stayed outside and tried whatever they could to eradicate the infestation, but it was currently proving useless. The vines had not budged from their places, and many of these ponies came back injured from the vines' hostility. Some, particularly those who were stubborn and persistent, did not come back at all.
All this chaos and destruction was made clear as Berry Punch stared out of one of the bar's windows. Cherry had converted her popular establishment into a safehouse for those who needed it. Various ponies sat at the tables and stools, grumbling to themselves and close friends about the town's current condition. Cherry was doing her best to keep the morale in the room raised with free drinks, but things still looked bleak. Berry herself had a mug of cider, and sipped at it every few seconds. The streets were almost completely deserted, but some ponies were seen still fighting the vines or going about their business as best as they could. Calling it depressing would be an understatement.
Berry groaned at the sight. Ponyville must be cursed, because everything that seems to go wrong in Equestria happens in Ponyville. She thought back to Nightmare Moon's return. The town had been in a state of anarchy back then, and had it not ended as soon as it did, there was no telling what would have happened.
As she continued staring out the window, she never noticed the pony that trotted next to her.
"You OK, Berry?"
Berry jumped slighty, and turned to see Cherry, who looked swamped with the workload she was taking right now. However, the bartender managed a small smile. That was Cherry's way: She always tried to be optimistic.
But Berry was not. "No, we need to do something about this," she gestured outside. "Why are we sitting in here, drowning put sorrows with drinks?"
"Because I made them half-price today?"
"Cherry!"
"Alright, alright," she sat next to Berry. "What can we do, though? We're not just dealing with any normal vines. It's almost like they're sentient."
Berry thought about it. After a few moments, she stood and hopped onto her table. Clearing her throat loudly, she began to speak.
"Hey! Are there any unicorns in here?"
A few hooves raised themselves.
"OK. Keep your hoof up if you practice magic."
All but two dropped.
"Do you two have any spells that might get rid of these vines?"
"I could try," one of them, a female with an lime-colored coat and teal mane offered. "I'm nowhere near Princess Twilight's knowledge, though."
Berry wasn't happy to hear this. The princess was rumored to be in Ponyville right now, and if she hadn't fixed the problem yet, then these vines might be immune to spells. "Go ahead, but if they start reaching for you, get back in here. Understood?"
The pony nodded and trotted out.
"Do you think she'll do it?" Cherry wondered.
Berry sighed and shook her head. "I doubt it. Normal magic doesn't seem to work on them. We need something else, something more powerful."
Cherry pondered. "The Elements?"
Berry shrugged. "Let's leave that to the professionals. What can we, as common, ordinary ponies, do?"
"I don't know about ponies, but what about humans?" Cherry smirked and nodded her head outside.
"What are you implying?" Berry titled her head in the same direction. It instantly explained itself. Nikolai was sprinting down the street as if he was being chased by hell itself. Behind him, Coal Cremator was doing his best to keep up. Berry chuckled and grinned.
"He's crazy."
It didn't take a fortune teller to predict where he was going: straight to the bar. The pounding of his fists on the door were so intense that Cherry thought it would give way any second. She galloped over to the door and opened it. Nikolai, however, was not expecting such a swift response, and fell face-first onto the wooden floor.
"Ow!" He shouted wimpishly.
Berry rolled her eyes. "You should be more careful, Nik."
He picked himself up, a worried expression still present. "Did you see all of those plants!?"
"Oh, you mean the vines that are covering the entire town? No, not at all."
"Smartass," Nikolai grumbled, but was nevertheless happy to be in her presence. "They're alive!"
"You're a little late to the party, I'm afraid," Cherry tried to calm down the drunk. "On the optimistic side, business has been great so far!"
"What's going on in Canterlot?" Berry asked as she pulled up a chair for him. "Please tell me they're solving this."
"Princess Sparkle said she was going to find a way to fix this, but I-"
"What about Celestia and Luna?"
"They're dead."
"Dead!? Impossible!" Cherry looked like she was about to faint.
"Oh, crap. Did I say dead? I meant missing."
Cherry breathed a sigh of relief, but then locked up again. "Missing!?"
"So dramatic," Nikolai mumbled under his breath. "Yes, missing. The guards said they just disappeared. Nikolai has been helping in anyway he can."
"So, what are we looking at, exactly?"
"Living black vines!" Nikolai screamed at the top of his lungs. "I've seen enough hentai to know where that leads."
"You're being overly dramatic again, Nik."
The pony that had stepped out before came hobbling back in. Bruises and gashes covered her body, and she was struggling to even limp to a seat.
"Bad idea," she muttered quietly. "Very, very bad idea."
"See!? Domestic abuse!"
Cherry stood and went back behind the counter. "I better get her a drink!" She explained.
"Princess Sparkle is our last hope," Nikolai finished.
Berry gulped. Twilight didn't exactly have leadership skills or experience like the sisters did. If they were gone, Twilight's odds wouldn't be much better.
. . .
"Luna," Twilight muttered from her trance. The sudden word startled the other element bearers from their talks. That was all she said, nothing else. The alicorn did not seem to acknowledge the other ponies around her at all. Pinkie had even bonked her in the head with a hoof, I no avail.
"What was in that potion, Zecora?" Rainbow accused.
"The ingredients are ordinary, but with alicorn magic, become extraordinary."
"That wasn't really a rhyme, ya' know. You just said ordinary twice," Applejack reminded.
"Forgive me, Applejack, rhyming is hard. I was taught by my cousin, he is a bard."
"I do hope she returns from her dreadful trance," Rarity muttered.
"I'm sure she'll be fine," Fluttershy uttered with a small smile. "These weeds are getting to be a teensy-weensy bit in the way, though."
"Understatement of the century," Discord mused.
"Quiet, you," Rainbow ordered. Discord shrugged, and a zipper magically appeared to shut his mouth.
Suddenly, Twilight began to cry, garnering the attention of the rest. Nobody whispered anything, hoping that she would expel some useful information. However, she soon quit crying and returned to standing still and emotionless, almost statue-like.
"Whatever experience she's going through now, I have a hunch that it's bad."
The alicorn began mumbling again, but this time it was coming out unintelligibly. The others glanced over to Discord.
"Is this some kind of ancient language?" Dash questioned as she flew up into Discord's face.
Discord, being the difficult draconequus he was, simply pointed at his zipper-mouth and glared.
"Alright, speak."
The zipper poofed away, leaving him free to talk. "That's better," he smiled. "And yes, it's a very ancient language. It's so old, that very few still know it. Those who do tend to be madponies."
"What is it called?"
"Gibberish."
Rainbow Dash looked like she was about to sideswipe him, but she was interrupted by Applejack's voice.
"Y'all! She's waking up."
Rainbow turned back to see Twilight eyelid's flutter open, this time with her purple irises in full view. It took a few seconds for her to reestablish her bearings, but when she managed, she saw the others give her odd looks.
"Why are you all looking at me like that?" She asked nervously.
"It's just," Applejack started, but froze to find the right words. "You were mumblin' to yourself."
"Ooh! Don't forget the uncontrollable sobbing!"
"We were really worried about you."
Discord, however, did not seem to care. "I for one found it delightful. Sort of a one-pony theater piece, if you will," he brandished a poster showing Twilight unconsciously crying. "You should really consider taking it on the road."
Rainbow Dash assumed a kung-fu stance. "Did you find out whose rump we need to kick and where we can find them?"
Twilight looked down, unsure of what to make from the flashback she had seen. "I saw something from a long time ago, but it didn't explain what's happening now."
"Perhaps farther back are the answers you seek," Zecora nodded at the flask, which still had a significant amount of liquid left. "Another sip of the potion will give you a peek."
And so, Twilight reluctantly drank from the bottle again, and was sent to yet another period even farther in the past.
. . .
"Are you sure that this will work?" Nikolai narrowed his eyes at Berry as he was handed a keg of vodka. "It seems like a risky plan."
"Relax, Nikolai. I doubt that these things will enjoy alcohol like us ponies do. Even if it doesn't work, what's wrong with a few scrapes and bumps?"
Nikolai practically looked offended. "Scrapes and bumps!? I don't care about bodily harm! I don't want all this vodka to go to waste!" He smiled and hugged the barrel.
Cherry nodded. "He has a point. That's the last one in my supply. I'll have to make a run all the way to Stalliongrad just to get more."
"And risk Equestria's fate for a barrel?" Berry sounded almost patriotic. "You can always get more later."
"You only say that because you prefer cider," Cherry frowned. She then paused, thinking of any other possible solutions. "We have no other choice, though, do we?"
"I promise, Cherry, if things go wrong, we'll travel with you to Stalliongrad. I'll pull the cart, and this big lug will protect you from bandits."
"And drink my supply?"
"You got it," Berry smirked.
Cherry opened her mouth to counter, but she remembered that Berry was the type that wouldn't usually take no for an answer. The bartender backed down. "Fine, do whatever you think is needed."
"Thank you, you won't be disappointed."
"Why is it that a couple of drunks are the only ones trying to fix this?" Cherry mumbled. She didn't wait for Nikolai's response, and headed back into the bar.
"There's also Princess- oh I see, close the door and don't listen, that's cool."
Berry and Nikolai lugged the keg over to a nearby vine. The Russian also reached into his back pocket and pulled out a lighter.
"It's a good thing your world invented portable fire," Berry commented as the two coated the vine with vodka.
"Stand back," Nikolai ordered, and Berry obliged. He lit a small stick and transferred the flame to its target. The vine began to flail around uselessly, and Berry flashed a confident smile to Nikolai.
"I told Cherry this was going to work!"
Unfortunately, the angry vine smashed the keg into bits, wasting the amount still left in the keg. The damage had been done, at least. Not even an Everfree Vine is safe from fire. Despite this small Ray of hope, Nikolai suddenly lost it and began to flat-out bawl. Berry didn't even have to ask what's wrong. Instead, she simply put her hoof around Nikolai and gently patted him.
"It's OK, Nikolai. The vodka died bravely."
"How w-w-will we l-live without w-w-w-WADDDKKKKKAAAAA!?"
"You do realize we're now going to have to accompany her to Stalliongrad, right?" Berry frowned.
Nikolai immediately perked up. "OK, at least we have that."
Berry was galloping back to the bar. "In the meantime," she shouted over her shoulder. "Let's tell Cherry the results and gather more alcohol."
. . .
"Alright, let's get cracking."
Berry led the way to the nearest vines, and Nikolai torched them. This time, they had the sense to set the kegs away from the vines, so as not to lose anymore than it had.
when the streets had been completely cleared, Nikolai put the kegs down. He eyed the vine-covered buildings, and then reluctantly looked at his lighter.
"Nikolai feels trapped in a moral scenario. Burn the houses, or no?"
Berry stroked her chin with her hoof. "It may very well be the only choice we have if we want to free Ponyville."
"What about innocents? I'm pretty sure Celestia and Luna wouldn't like it if we sacrificed their lives."
"Celestia and Luna are missing, Nik."
"What if they return? Berry, this may be a time where we have to play the waiting game. Besides, I'm thirsty."
Berry rolled her eyes. "Alright, we'll wait."
. . .
"Look at your faces!" Past Discord guffawed at Luna and Celestia's serious expressions. "So full of yourselves!"
Twilight had been taken back in time to the end of Discord's reign. She was now witnessing the fall of the tyrant herself. The area around her was as messed up as it had been when Discord returned not too long ago. Fish were flying, the ground was checkered. It was all so very chaotic, just the way he liked it.
Luna and Celestia crossed beams, and a rainbow flew out from them straight for Discord. He never even saw it coming, and soon found himself trapped in stone for the next 1000 years.
The vision didn't stop there, however. Twilight found herself in a chamber, occupied only by a large crystal tree. She followed the two princesses as they approached it.
Luna let out a small gasp. "The Tree of Harmony."
Twilight was just confused. "The TREE of Harmony!?" Then, she looked over the tree carefully. The carving in the middle couldn't be what she thought it was, could it? No, it was.
"My cutie mark," she marveled.
Celestia gently flew next to it, and nodded to her sister.
"Are you sure about this?" Luna questioned.
Celestia did not hesitate in assuring her. "We have discovered the means to defeat Discord, and save the citizens of Equestria. Even without the elements, the tree will possess an incredible magic," she began magically plucking the crystals from their resting points. "As long as it has that magic, it will continue to contain and control all that remains here."
It all made sense to Twilight now; the vines had grown because the tree had lost its power. She had to find some way to restore it.
When she returned to the present, Spike immediately dashed to her side.
"So, what happened?"
"I still don't know why Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are missing, but I think I know why the forest is acting the way it is: something's happened to the Tree of Harmony."
The others exchanged looks. "The Tree of Harmony?"
"It's where the elements were originally found. It controls the plants that are taking over Equestria. And by the looks of it, I think it's over there."
The others eyes followed Twilight's hoof, which was pointed at the Everfree Forest. For once, Rarity wasn't the only one in the group to let out a dramatic gasp. For one, the Everfree Forest looked worse than normal with all those vines shooting out.
Rainbow Dash gulped, then quickly put on a brave face to reassure her friends. "I guess we should go."
Twilight stopped Rainbow from flying forward with her magic. "Not so fast, Rainbow. We need Nikolai."
"Nikolai!?" Rainbow protested. "What for?"
"Analyze it closely, Rainbow," Rarity spoke up. "He has fought on the battlefield many times before. He's most likely experienced in all forms of combat."
"If he isn't drunk off his flank."
"Hopefully he isn't," Twilight responded. "Though, with things looking as bleak as they do right now, he probably is. I'll got fetch him anyway."
Twilight spread her wings and took off for the place where Nikolai had probably run to. Once she arrived at the bar, she opened the door to reveal a room that was surprisingly sober for a place filled with drinks. Nikolai and Berry sat at a table, not even noticing that someone came in. In fact, the only person who noticed was Cherry.
"Princess Twilight," she gasped, grabbing the attention of the others. "Y-you've come to my bar. I am honored."
Many ponies stared in awe upon noticing the princess. Twilight heard a mare whisper "What's a classy princess like her doing in a place like this?" She ignored the rude question and trotted over to Nikolai and Berry.
"Hello, Princess," Nikolai greeted warmly. "Have you had any luck?"
"A little. We found out that this is the work of something called the Tree of Harmony. It's in the Everfree Forest. We need you to tag along for protection.
Nikolai sipped a bottle of whiskey. "A forest? Really? Bah. What's in there to kill you in a forest?"
"Manticores, cockatrices, sharp cliffs. Need I say more?"
Nikolai chucked. "Heh, cockatrices."
Twilight facehoofed. "You're missing the point. We need your help. You'd be doing Equestria a favor."
Nikolai only grunted. "I've done all I can, princess."
"Would you do it for vodka?"
The drunk Russian sprang up and smiled. "Da, OK. I would like to see Fluttershy and Pinkie again."
Twilight smiled. "Excellent! Now come with me, quickly."
"Nik, are you just gonna leave?" Berry frowned.
"I must," Nikolai made a heroic pose. "For vodka- I mean, Equestria. . . Actually, screw it. For vodka."
"And leave me here?" Berry out on a pitiful look.
Nikolai huffed. "Fine, I'll share."
Berry grinned. "OK, have fun!"
. . .
"Hello, ponies!" Nikolai shouted at the group. He then noticed Discord relaxing on a vine. "And you two, weird mutant creature."
Discord suddenly teleported next to Nikolai. "Why, hello. You know, you look like a weird mutant creature yourself," he flicked Nikolai's nose, much to his annoyance. "Oh, wait. Where are my manners? My name is Discord, spirit of chaos. And you are?"
"Uh, Nikolai?"
"Oh, great to meet you, Nikolai! It's nice to have another male join us on this expedition."
"Hey!" Spike shouted.
"You don't count, you're just a baby."
Nikolai turned to Twilight and whispered quietly. "I haven't seen many little girl shows, but I'm pretty sure this guy is behind it all."
Discord picked Nikolai up and held him bridal style. "Oh ye of little faith. I never was a villain. I just gave the world the chaos it deserved. After all, order is boring."
"I wouldn't say that," Rainbow glared. "You created a new world order and turned us against each other."
Discord retained his smile, but tossed Nikolai away. He was caught by Twilight's magic, and set down. "Now, Rainbow. That's a bit of an overstatement."
"Horseapples!" Applejack exclaimed.
"Girls!" Twilight exclaimed. The group paused the argument that was about to erupt and gave Twilight their attention.
"I know Discord may not exactly be the most trustworthy guy out there, but I don't think he's responsible for this. Whatever's going on must have something to do with the Tree of Harmony. Let's save this for later, OK?"
Rainbow hesitated, prompting a smug grin from Discord. "Fine."
"Now, let's get moving. We have a country to save."
. . .
The forest itself immediately became dark once the group entered. Everybody remained close to each other, with Twilight leading the pack. The ponies all appeared nervous, for each had past experiences with the dangers of this forest. Nikolai brought up he rear, and he didn't appear too interested in what was going on.
"Seems like only yesterday we went in here to find the Elements of Harmony," Rarity commented.
"Seems like only yesterday that I was foolish enough to go after them alone," Twilight depressingly remarked. She quickly replaced it with a determined smile. "I don't know what we're going to face in here, but I know that it will be for the best if we face it together."
"Ura," Nikolai uttered quietly.
Things were quiet, but there was a feeling that something bad was about to happen. Everybody in the group kept their guard up, in case something showed up to make them lunch. Eventually, they came across a lake filled with a hot green liquid. Nikolai perked up upon seeing this.
"Holy shit. Is that what I think it is?"
"Yes indeedie!" Pinkie nodded. "Acid!"
Twilight noticed a few rocks scattered that floated in the lake. "We can cross over with these."
However, as she stepped on them, they began to rock violently. Twilight was thrown back, and a large crocodile-like creature emerged. The ponies let out various shrieks, and Nikolai's eyes widened.
"A cragodile!" Rarity exclaimed. "Run for your lives!"
The group scattered in various directions, in the confusion, Nikolai found himself with Fluttershy and Applejack. The crocodile wasn't after them, thankfully. However, it was taking interest in Twilight. The alicorn had backed into a tree, and it was approaching quickly.
"We have ta do somethin'!" Applejack shouted. She reached for a loose vine. "Ah hope this works like a lasso!" She twirled it and launched it at the predator's tail.
Nikolai and Fluttershy grabbed onto the vine and fought the tugs as best as they could. Rarity and Pinkie Pie had appeared out of nowhere to help, as well. The group just barely managed to hold it down. This bought Twilight and Rainbow Dash enough time to tie up the rest of its limbs.
"Wow, Nikolai underestimated the power of nature," the Russian commented once the croc had been stopped.
Applejack looked concerned. "Maybe you should go back, Twilight. Let us handle this."
Twilight appeared offended by this. "What? Why!?"
"For starters, ya' almost got eaten by a cragadilly!"
Nikolai chuckled at Applejack's pronunciation, only to receive a firm but gentle nudge from nearby Fluttershy.
"We all did," Twilight shot back.
"Well, yeah. But we're not princesses."
"What does that have to do with anything!?" Both Nikolai and Twilight exclaimed simultaneously. They gave each other nervous glances.
Applejack continued her argument. "It's just. . . With Princess Celestia and Princess Luna already missing, ah' don't think Equestria can afford to lose another princess. Ah' don't mean nothin' bad, Twi. Ah'm just thinkin' about the greater good here."
"Applejack has a valid point, Twilight. Equestria needs a princess."
Twilight looked at the faces of her pony friends. Each one expressed agreement with Applejack.
"If everypony feels that way, maybe I should go back. For Equestria."
As she dejectedly began to run back, Nikolai stopped. He had to speak up about this.
"So, that's it, then?"
The ponies turned to face him. "Fraid' so."
"You know, for once, Nikolai was starting to believe that not all monarchs were elitists. Princess Twilight seemed ready to give her life for her subjects. I guess I was wrong," Nikolai spat.
"Listen here, Nikolai-"
"Shut up, Rainbow Hair!" He roared, startling Rainbow Dash into silence. He began to speak again. "Just not too long ago, you said you wanted to save a country, correct, Princess?" The last word reminded Twilight of Nikolai's hatred for monarchy.
"Yes, but-"
"But you don't want to make sacrifices, right?" Nikolai was furious.
"Nikolai," Fluttershy pleaded. "We can push on without her. It's not a big deal."
Nikolai eyed her, and saw the tears forming in her eyes. She was scared of him when he acted like this. It was just as effective at getting him to back down as her stare was. He gave Twilight one last stare that was a mix of anger and disappointment.
"I should have known better. You're tainted."
Twilight, already near tears at being sent away by her friends, galloped away, quietly sobbing to herself.
"Let's move," he urged, trudging ahead of the ponies.
Nothing was said for a long time. The ponies had realized that Nikolai made a decent point: they wouldn't have done this to Twilight before. The communist's words stung at Applejack's conscious. If she had kept her mouth shut, Twilight would have stayed. Maybe it would have been for the best, even. After all, Twilight knew what the Tree of Harmony looked like, and she had forgotten to mention it to the others.
Finally, she spoke up. "Anypony else regrettin' what we did back there?"
Fluttershy replied meekly. "A little."
The others remained quiet, not revealing their actual thoughts to Applejack. She, too, went quiet.
For some time, the group continued their search for the tree. However, as the minutes dragged on, the group was getting closer to giving up.
As they approached the ancient castle that had once been occupied by Celestia and Luna, Rainbow Dash expressed her doubts.
"Anypony else starting to think this is a lost cause? We're almost at Celestia and Luna's old castle. Maybe whatever Twilight saw when she took that crazy potion wasn't real. Maybe there is no Tree of Harmony."
Applejack caught sight of something in the ravine under the old wooden bridge.
"Maybe-" Rainbow continued, but was cut off.
"Maybe it's right down there," Applejack pointed.
Rainbow gasped. "No, it can't be."
But it sure seemed like it. They couldn't actually see the tree yet, just an unnaturally powerful glow.
"If only Nikolai had brought a sniper rifle. I like to practice my 360 noscoping. Dempsey says I might be cut out for FaZe."
The others glanced at him with confused expressions.
"I'll 1v1 all you n00bs."
Rarity turned back to the ravine. "How are we going to get down there, anyway?"
Pinkie's grunts of pain and constant thuds allowed the group to find the way.
"Take the stairs, silly!" She cheered, unfazed by the painful experience she just had.
. . .
Turning the corner, the group found that the Tree of Harmony was there. It was nothing short of majestic, despite the fact that it had become entangled with the dark vines, which seemed to be choking the very life out of it.
"I think it's dying!" Fluttershy exclaimed.
"Hooray for Captain Obvious!" Nikolai exclaimed. It was obvious that he was being sarcastic, but he also put it out more happily so as to not hurt the sensitive pony's feelings.
"Let's save it already!" Applejack leaped into action. She yanked at the vine, but was soon knocked back.
"Nice try, I'll handle this," Rainbow assured. She flew hoof-first into the tree. She got the same results as Applejack.
"Valiant efforts on both your parts, but the tree remains in jeopardy."
"And ah' suppose you have a better plan?"
Rarity remained silent.
"That's what ah' thought."
"I know who would know what to do," Fluttershy whispered. "But we sent her home."
Applejack lowered her head in shame. "Perhaps we shouldn't have."
"We?" Rainbow questioned. "It was your idea, Applejack!"
"We all agreed that it was the best thing, Rainbow Dash. We we're try in' to protect her!"
Before another full-blown argument manage to erupt, the sound of Spike falling down the stairs snapped them back to the current situation. Applejack and the others rushed to the bruised baby dragon.
"Twilight! Trouble! Help!" He screamed right before passing out.
Nikolai drew his knife. "I never thought I'd say this, but let's got save a princess."
Rainbow and Fluttershy took off into air as the others galloped their way up. Nikolai, however, wasn't a pony. He was also fat and lazy. So, he was quickly left behind
"Hey, wait for Nikolai!" He huffed as he climbed the stairs.
. . .
Some time later, the drunk finally came upon the others. Unfortunately for him, the plant creatures that had attacked Twilight had already been defeated, and he had missed out on the action.
"Oh, you got to be kidding! Nikolai ran all the way here!" He breathed as he collapsed onto the ground from exhaustion.
. . .
"Nikolai, we did it!"
"No, mama! Nikolai is allergic to peanuts!" He screamed as he sat up.
Twilight stood next to the man that had awoken from his nightmare and grinned, ignoring his babbling. "We defeated the vines and saves Equestria!"
"Wait," Nikolai stopped her, and he began to think. "I missed the climatic part?"
"Fraid' so."
Nikolai mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, then stood. "So, did you use the 'Power if Friendship'?" He mocked.
Twilight hesitated. "Actually, yes. We did use our friendship."
"Nikolai figured," he muttered as he got up in his feet. "What now? Find the princesses?"
"Already taken care of. Equestria is normal again."
"Oh. Well, I feel useless
"You are."
"Not helping, Rainbow Hair. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go get a drink to celebrate."
With that, he walked away, whistling.
. . .
"And that's how Nikolai single-handedly saved Equestria!" He finished explaining to Berry.
She chuckled, sipping a glass of wine. "Yeah, right. I knew you were lying the moment you said the tree made you into an alicorn princess."
"You better watch out, Berry," Nikolai teased. "I'll throw you into the Gulag!"
"It's good to see you two having a good time."
The turned to see Cherry trotting over to them, a sheet of paper neatly tucked under her wing. She did not look too happy.
"What's wrong?" Berry cocked her head. Then, the realization dawned on her. "Oh shit, the wasted vodka."
Cherry nodded. "I lost 78 bits-worth. Since I know you and your 'financial habits', I'll take you up on your offer to accompany me on a trip to Stalliongrad. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"I think I'll pass. You don't need me, you got Nikolai."
"Berry," for once, the normally sweet and hospitable bartender held a hint of aggression in her voice. "I'm not in the mood."
"Fine."
"I thought you said you wanted to go to Stalliongrad, anyway."
"Yeah, on vacation."
"Well, think of this as vacation, a vacation that you're forced to take."
Nikolai chugged a bottle of cider and belched. "It's not quite the same as vodka."
"Hey, Miss Bartender!" a stallion shouted. "Could we get some service, please?"
Cherry turned and gave the table a small, polite smile. "I'm sorry. I'll be there in a minute," she turned back to the two. "Do you mind if I come at 8," it was more of a sentence than an actual question.
"No," Nikolai smiled, missing the point.
"Good. See you then."