The Cutie Mark Allocation Agency

by Hoopy McGee


Author's notes

This was a story that just popped into my head one day, while wondering idly where cutie marks actually came from. I started writing it with great enthusiasm, got distracted for a while (okay, a year) and eventually came back to it. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, and I hope you all enjoy the ending!

Much of the bureaucracy in this story is drawn from my own experience, having worked in a corporate environment for most of my adult life. It really can get crazy here, especially if you've got... shall we say, less than ideal management?

Just for fun, here are Tallywaddle's Rules of Effective Gnome Management:

1: Make sure some other gnome takes the fall.
2: Flattery gets you everywhere.
3: Detachment is the key to effective management.
4: Never pass up the opportunity to tell others how great you are.
5: Everygnome has his price.
6: An effectively complex bureaucracy can hide a multitude of sins.
7: Always ask for a bigger budget. Always.
8: If it works, it was your idea.
9: If it doesn’t work, it was some other gnome’s idea.
10: Make sure to practice your sincerity every day, and deploy it as needed.
11: A smile goes a long way towards hiding your true intent.
12: Use promotions to ensure loyalty.
13: The best privileges to give are the ones that cost nothing.
14: Threaten to take away privileges if productivity slackens.
15: Confidence is more important than actual expertise.
16: Get someone else to do it
17: Unpleasant tasks go to the gnomes that annoy you the most
18: Transfer the troublemakers. Let them be some other gnome’s problem.
19: If you remind them of a kindly old grandpa, they’re more likely to trust you.
20: Whatever you do, do NOT draw Celestia’s attention!


Thanks for reading, and I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

~Hoopy