So I am disappointed, wanted to fight with my hooves and all but nooooooo, the Author has to be a dick and make us play a card game that sends one of us to our doom if we lose, what is this? A bad 90s Comic book?
Oh whatever, let’s just rely on luck, that’s what wins us fights anyway, just dumb luck! And no I am not annoyed because I couldn’t engage in a hoof-fight!
“It’s your turn first” Bugless says to me
“Okay then” I said
I draw! And I got a 5…not too shabby!
“I got a five” I announced
“You’ll need better than that to defeat me…I got an eight!” Bugless announced
Bolty: 42
Bugless: 45
Alright, hopefully something better…all right! I got a Queen (12)!
“I draw a queen” I said
“I got a seven” Bugless said
Bolty: 35
Bugless: 33
I’m in the lead for now but this could turn around soon…hopefully I get lucky and get a strong lead.
“Lightning Bolt seems to be evenly matched in this game for now” Chrysalis said
“He’ll wipe that creep’s flank back to next Nightmare Night!” CK said
“Oh I wouldn’t be too sure, Bugless is quite a lucky fellow, this will turn around before too long” Chrysalis commented
“He’ll win trust me, and he’ll wipe the floor with you when he gets here” Firefly shouted
“We’ll see, first he has to get here and then he won’t stand a chance against me even if he does get here” Chrysalis denied the claim
“You do know revenge will not get your friend back?” I asked
“Duh! But revenge will avenge his death and serve justice for all the changelings that died that day” Bugless argued
“That was nopony’s fault but Chrysalis, she got greedy and attacked Equestria, it’s her fault truly—“ I started
“SILENCE!! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT OUR QUEEN?!” Bugless roared
“I dare, bitch! Face it! Your queen got your friend and your comrades dead due to her stupidity, had she not kidnapped me, Luna would never of known I was captured, had she any sense than she did then, she may of succeeded, you lost and you are just being a sore loser about it!” I shot back
“SHUT UP FLANKHOLE! When I win this duel, we’ll see who the loser is and it will be you!” Bugless had enough
“That’s what you think, Bugbreath!” I argued
“We’re only in the third turn, it can still turn around into your defeat” Bugless shot back
“We’ll see…now I DRAW!” I announced
Alright! A Princess (Jack)! (11)
“You go down 11” I said
“Well you go down 13 as I drew a King” Bugless announced
Bolty: 23
Bugless: 22
Again! Now, let’s see…Ace? Ah bucking Horseapples!
“Ace…” I muttered
“Ten” Bugless smirked
Bolty: 13
Bugless: 21
Ah buck! If he draws a king, I’m done for!
“There’s still time to run away back to Ponyville” Bugless said
“If you think I’m giving up then you should jump in the lava yourself” I said
“Very well, do not say I didn’t warn you!” Bugless said
“Go ahead and draw you worthless excuse of a bug” I insulted
“In a hurry to die? Fine by me” Bugless said
“Yes, Excellent Bugless! You are on your way of doing your queen proud!” Chrysalis said
“Come on Bolty! You can do it! There’s still time” CK shouted
“Anypony smell that…lava-ish smell?” Dash asked
“I think so” Twilight replied
“Oh no! Not anywhere near lava!” Fluttershy backed away
“Relax Fluttershy, we won’t go near no lava and we’ll all be right behind you for support” AJ supported
“Okay” Fluttershy smiled
About 5 minutes later…
“Oh come on! Really? A rickety bridge over lava! Who even does that?” Dash groaned
“At least you can fly” AJ deadpanned
“STILL, it’s like ponies expect ponies to walk over this safely when it looks like it’ll fall off easily, I mean wouldn’t a stone bridge do better than a rope and wooden planked bridge over BOILING lava” Dash complained
“GIRLS! We’ll do fine, just get across and Pinkie, no bouncing on it” Twilight said
“Awww” Pinkie groaned
Fluttershy looked like she was gonna pass out, Twilight look determined and Dash just hated it,
“Come on, Fluttershy! We gotta get across that bridge!” Dash said
“Um…maybe I should stay here and…eep!” Fluttershy tried to back away
“We need you and you’re going, I’ll be right behind you for emotional support. We’ll tackle this bridge one foal step at a time, just don’t look down” Dash said patting Fluttershy’s back
Fluttershy gave a breath as everypony else was across already and started across the bridge.
“Okay…don’t look down…dontlookdowndon’tlookdowndontlookdowndon’tlookdown” Fluttershy mumbled
“We’re halfway there, keep going” Dash said behind her
“dontlookdowndontlookdown…DASH! I’M LOOKING DOWN EEEEEEEEEEEEEP!” Fluttershy panicked and started turning around
“Oh for the love of Luna!” Dash facehoofed
“Can we go back pleaseeeeeeeee?” Fluttershy asks
“No, we’ll be safe” Dash replied
“But, I want to be on the side I know if safe!” Fluttershy protests
“If you don’t cross now, the poor bunny can’t be saved from the nasty monster” Dash used persuasion
“No! Not the Bunny!” Shy looked horrified
Fluttershy then galloped across as Dash followed behind as Fluttershy went behind the mound to find no bunny
“Where’s the bunny? I’ll save you!” Shy exclaimed
“There’s no bunny, Fluttershy” Twilight pointed out
“Did it already…die?” Shy asked fearfully
“It never existed to begin with, Dash lied to you to get you across” Pinkie said
“Oh…” Shy felt embarrassed
“I draw a 8” I announced
“I draw a Queen, one more turn and you’re history!” Bugless said
Bolty: 1
Bugless: 13
“Time for you demise!” Bugless said
Come on lucky draw and…
“JOKER???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I yelled
“AHAHAHAHAHA! You lose Lightning Bolt, now for your crimes against the Changelings, it’s my honor to serve justice!” Bugless said
Bugless looks a little pissed once he drew the card
“Joker as well? IMPOSSIBLE! But no matter you can’t draw the card you want and there are only 2 jokers in the deck so you lose anyway” Bugless gloated
Alright this is it! If I don’t draw a king, I’m toast! Come on Card Goddesses and luck Goddess, lend me your power and give the king so I may rescue my friends! I beg of you please!
Moment of truth…
Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeon
Six hours later…
Omeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeonomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeconcomeon
Another 500000000000 years later…
I DRAW A…I can’t look at the card
“What?” Bugless asked
It’s a….king! YEEEEEEESSSSS!! WHO’S THE STALLION? AW YEAH! WHO’S THE STALLION IT’S LIGHTNING BOLT L-I-G-H-T-I-N-G B-O-L-T MOTHERBUCKER! VICTORY DANCE TIME!!
“I-impossible! How did you draw a king? T-That mean I lose, but that’s horseapples, I never lose!” Bugless was declaring horseapples
“Well you just did” I said
Suddenly Bugless froze.
“Congratulations, Lightning Bolt or shall I call you Gavin? Splendid show! You may of defeated my luckiest minion but rest assured when you meet me, You will be pounded into a poundcake and wiped the floor with you and then shot across the planet like I did” Chrysalis took control
“Chrysalis! Release my friends at once and face me!” I demanded
“You’ll have to get me first” Chrysalis mocked
“I’ll kick your flank easily” I said
“Now, Bugless, you have failed me for the first and LAST time! Into the lava pit with you!” Chrysalis said angrily
The changeling then fell screaming into the lava pit as Chrysalis dumped her own changeling.
“Grrr… that stallion got lucky! But he won’t be so lucky when he reaches me!” Chrysalis kicked her crystal ball in anger
Enjoy the victory while you can….