"Hurry up, Spike!" Rarity grinned ecstatically. "I just know this fashion will win over Applejack!"
"Nnnngh... guh...!" The little dragon heaved and sweated, his scaled palms gripping tight to the two handles behind him as he trudged uphill. "What... I-I don't understand is... wh-why we couldn't m-make this in two trips!"
"Because, Spike..." Rarity glanced back from where she reclined. She carefully eyed the rattling train of wheeled carts fastened to the back of the rickshaw and dangling with over two dozen glittery outfits. "...I had to oversee the transfer of these fabulous dresses that I just made! And as you well know, Applejack's apple loader has turned into a complete menace! If my gift of generosity is as potent as it was the last time I bequeathed Applejack with something, then there's still hope that I can turn my biggest mistake around on its head!"
"H-how about..." Spike hissed, dragging his lower claws through the dirt road. "...we j-just get her a suit of armor and... g-guh... beat up the apple loader around her with a... b-bunch of sledgehammers?!"
"Because th-that would be simply barbaric!"
"Actually," a voice cracked from above. "It would be too simple." Rainbow Dash flew down, frowning. "Ah jeez... Don't tell me. Now you think it's your turn."
"I don't think it's my turn, Rainbow Dash. It is my turn!" Rarity frowned through her parasol. "I'm going to stop this maniacal charade once and for all!"
"By doing what?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the dresses. "Square dancing Applejack into oblivion?!"
"Actually, t'was my first plan, but seeing as my leg is still in a state of disrepair—"
"Darn it, Rarity!" Rainbow Dash growled. "Can't you see that this was all a horrible plan from the get-go?!"
"Well..." Rarity upturned her nose. "You certainly seemed key to play along, despite the fact! Or was that trip to Fillydelphia with Applejack just for Chyneighs Take-out? Hmmm?"
"Speaking of wh-which..." Spike glanced up at the pegasus, sweating. "Did that 'Mikey Whinniewreck' guy ever get out of traction?"
"Shuddup!" Rainbow folded her arms, frowning. "Look, I only followed your guys' plan because I wanted to be a good friend! Just like you, I didn't want to rain on Applejack's parade! But now I see I was totally fooling myself! We've all had our turns at pampering the spit outta that girl! Fluttershy took her to a rodeo! Pinkie Pie threw her a party! Twilight accompanied her to that freaky-deaky Ripley's Apples-Or-Not place...!"
"Well, there's the trouble right there!" Rarity smiled at Spike. "She wasn't appropriately dressed for any of those occasions!"
"For Pete's Sake! I'm trying to be serious here!" Rarity flew before the cart, frowning. "Don't you get it?! All we did was help Applejack have more fun! And—as if it wasn't obvious from her stupid machine shoving half of Ponyville over like friggin' dominoes—Applejack doesn't know how to have fun! She doesn't know how to have fun any better than we know how to deal with Applejack having fun!"
"Why, Rainbow Dash! What a perfectly absurd notion! After all, she's an adult just like you and me!"
"And just how does that make a lick of difference, huh?!" Rainbow Dash leaned forward. "You've seen Pinkie Pie when she gets to throw a birthday party for one of us! She goes all kaizo with mania!" Rainbow gestured. "And what about Fluttershy learning to be assertive?! Or Twilight making love to a bunch of notecards?! Or me with a chance at entering the Equestria Games?!" She leaned forward, glaring into Rarity's face. "Or you with a pair of oversized butterfly wings!"
"Erm..." Rarity squirmed deeper into the rickshaw, blushing over a nervous smile. "Yes... I-I'm st-starting to see your point..."
"I sure hope you do!" Rainbow leaned back in mid-hover. "Because this whole stinkin' game has gotta end! What Applejack needs is an honest pony telling her the honest truth!" She pointed over the nearby hills. "That stinkin' suit has got to go! It's either it or us!"
"Just give Spike and myself one last chance to give Applejack a far more entrancing alternative."
"Unngh! Rarity, for the love of Celestia—"
"Please!" The unicorn clasped two good hooves together, lips pouting. "You're loyal to Applejack! So surely you must know that if there's one remaining opportunity to encourage her fun-loving side without crushing Applejack's spirit, then surely we must pursue said option with unwavering charisma!"
"Nnnnnnngh..." Rainbow facehoofed. "Rarityyyyyy..."
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" The mare's eyes sparkled. "For Applejack's sake? She's always been loyal to us!"
"Mmmmfff..." Rainbow pulled at her face muscles and rolled her eyes back. "Fiiiine."
"Excellent!" Rarity squealed, then pointed up ahead. "We're almost there! Hurry up, Spikey Wikey! And remember! We do this just as we rehearsed!"
"Do I gotta sashay?"
"Are you kidding?! Indubitably!"
"Ohhhhhhhhh..."