//------------------------------// // A // Story: Apple Loader // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------// "Alright, girls," Rarity spoke, reclining on a pile of cushions with her bandaged leg propped up in the center of Twilight's library. "Enough is enough." She took a deep, steaming breath, her face pale and serious. "I called you all together to discuss a matter of supreme importance. There is a grave problem here in Ponyville... a problem with our beloved friend Applejack." "I still don't understand why we had to get together like this behind her back," Fluttershy said in a melancholic tone. "This feels mean and dishonest somehow." "Darling, it's for her own good!" Rarity exclaimed. "You yourself have seen the devastation she's wrought across the entire town! You've heard the stories from the mouths of traumatized ponies and foals! Foals, Fluttershy!" "Applejack hasn't hurt anypony. Not seriously." "Yes, but she's come close on several occasions, Fluttershy," Twilight said, gesturing. "I'm with Rarity on this one. We need to do something before the situation gets worse." "I take full responsibility for what has happened," Rarity said, nose upturned. "After all, the apple loader was my doing. It was my desire to bless Applejack with a gift from the bottom of my heart. Little did I know that I would irreversibly curse this town with an infernal machine gone awry!" "I dunno, Rarity!" Pinkie Pie bounced across the library. "It doesn't seem so infernal to me!" She skidded to a stop, bright-eyed. "Plus, haven't you heard all the music it makes!" "Music?! Pinkie, what are you going on about?!" "WHIRRRRR! CLAKKA-CLAKKA! WOOSH! THUDDDD!" Pinkie giggled. "Heehee! It's just like John Buckham from Led Zebra moved into town! Heehee!" "I'm afraid this is no laughing matter, Pinkie," Twilight said. "Awwwww!" Pinkie kicked a stool and slumped down, pouting. "It never is to you guys!" "I really mean it this time," Twilight said. "This thing that Applejack has gotten her hooves on is a real problem. I've seen it with my own eyes." She shuddered, exchanging a glance with Rarity. "She's wild, erratic, destructive—hardly like the Applejack we all know and love!" "You can't actually b-be serious!" Fluttershy stammered. "Believe it, darling," Rarity said. "She's even a detriment to her own family." "You mean our Applejack?!" "I'm afraid so." Rarity nodded gravely. "Why, just yesterday, Sweetie Belle was telling me how Applejack inexplicably tore a hole in the wall of the school building, then wrecked their bell! From what my little sister claims, Apple Bloom hasn't gotten a wink of sleep these last few nights. Only Luna knows what it's like over at Sweet Apple Acres, day in and day out!" "Oh, the poor dears..." Fluttershy mewled. "Deers?" Pinkie Pie blinked. "I thought they were ponies!" She gasped heavily. "Duaaaaaah Did that machine alter their deoxyribonucleic acid signatures, transpositioning their place within lateral branch of the taxonomist tree?!" "Honestly, Pinkie," Rarity sighed. "Must you?" "No, actually, Pinkie is onto something," Twilight said. "She is?" "I am?!" "I was thinking about it all last night ever since you proposed this emergency meeting, Rarity." The alicorn paced back and forth across the center of the library. "Something must have affected our most dependable friend. After all, this is not the Applejack we all know and love." "Apparently not," Fluttershy said, shivering. "Perhaps the machine's polluted her mind in some manner," Twilight thought out loud. "That apple loader runs on enchanted magic crystals. Being an earth pony, Applejack has little to no control of her leylines, leaving her completely defenseless to the side effects of unfiltered mana." "You mean that oversized toaster is frying AJ's wizard brain?!" Pinkie squawked. She pulled a random pitchfork out of hammer-space. "Down with the mechlateriat!" "Not so fast, Pinkie," Twilight said. "We have to think this through. For all we know, it might not be the machine affecting her." "Then wh-what is?" Fluttershy stammered. "It could be anything!" Twilight remarked, her face awash with fear. "A stray curse! A magic spell! Trixie getting ahold of the alicorn amulet again! Or—Celestia forebid—Discord up to his usual antics!" "But of course!" Rarity gnashed her teeth. "This calamitous situation has Discord's name written all over it!" "I can't believe what friggin' idiots you all are," cracked a voice from above. Every mare flinched. "Huh?!" Twilight twirled about and looked up, frowning. "Rainbow, that's not very nice—" "You're not very nice!" Rainbow Dash lay lazily on the stairs with a Daring Do book plastered over her face like a pillow. She lifted the tome and squinted down. "Do you even hear yourselves with these lame-flank ideas?! A 'stray curse.' A 'magic spell.' 'Discord up to his usual antics.' Pfffft! Please... couldn't you at least give Applejack the benefit of a doubt?! She's our friend! And a dang good one at that!" "She's also tearing up half of Ponyville with this stupid apple loader of hers." "Which—by the way—she refuses to get out of," Rarity added. "At all times." Twilight's brow furrowed. "Have you noticed that from your latest flights, Rainbow? Or have you been too busy dozing off?" "Hey! Don't accuse me of sleeping on the job!" Rainbow hovered above the group, forelimbs folded. "Especially when you're the ones slacking off in the friendship department!" "Us?! 'Slacking off?!'" Rarity gasped. "Rainbow, darling, how could you insinuate such a thing?! Why, this very meeting was established for the sole purpose of assisting Applejack with her problem—!" "And that's your biggest mistake right there!" Rainbow pointed. "Calling it a problem!" "Well, what else is it?" Fluttershy remarked. "She's been doing a lot of bad, bad things lately." "You call getting all her chores done a bad thing?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, tossing her hooves up. "You call laughing her head off and smiling every hour of the day a problem?" "Rainbow," Twilight sighed. "You have to understand, ever since Applejack got this machine—" "—she's been super friggin' happy! And who can blame her?! I smile and giggle and fly loopty-loops in the air every time I get a new Daring Do novel!" Rainbow said. "That's what you call enjoying life! Is that such a big flippin' problem?!" "I... d-don't think we quite understand where you're coming from, darling," Rarity said. "Pfft! For real? Fine! Let me ask you guys a question, then!" Rainbow planted her hooves on her hips. "When has Applejack ever had fun? Like... ever?!" Rarity opened her mouth to say something—but no words came out. She fidgeted on her cushions. Twilight and Fluttershy exchanged blank expressions. "Oooh! Oooh!" Pinkie Pie waved her hoof. "When she helped me set up Sugarcube Corner for—" "NOT when she's being a loyal and dependable pony to the whole bunch of us!" Rainbow exclaimed. Rarity pointed. "H-how about when she managed the Apple Family Reunion during last—" "NOT when it comes to doing family stuff!" "Uhm..." Fluttershy smiled bashfully, digging a hoof into the floor. "Just last month, she saved me and Angel from an Everfree Hydra by drop-kicking it in the—" "And NOT when she's kicking flank for other ponies' lives!" Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed. "Like—for real! When has Applejack ever had fun?! Just for fun's sake?! Nopony else's!" She glanced at each mare. "When has she ever had her own personal me-time just to do what Applejack wants to do?!" Dead silence. "I..." Twilight sweated, rubbing the side of her head. "I-I can't think of anything!" "My stars and garters!" Rarity's pupils had shrunk. "It's like I've forgotten a million loose threads in my Boutique all at once!" "No... f-fun...?" Pinkie whimpered, her mane straightening out. "Oh, we are such bad, bad friends!" Fluttershy's lips quivered as she sniffled. "If only we had thrown Applejack a celebration or a party all these years..." "With n-no strings atta-a-a-ached!" Pinkie bellowed, sobbing. "Perhaps all of this manic enthusiasm could have been avoided!" Rarity finished. "You get it now?" Rainbow Dash hovered lower. "This is Applejack! At least... an Applejack we've never seen before because she's never had a chance to be herself this much!" "It's so simple," Twilight Sparkle murmured. "I can't believe I overlooked it!" "So, let's stop rambling about 'curses' and 'magic spells' and look at this for what it really is!" Rainbow Dash twirled about with a smirk. "A situation where an honest-to-goodness pony needs some support from her honest-to-goodness friends!" Rarity took a deep breath. "You're right, Rainbow Dash. We've been looking at this whole situation in the wrong light. Applejack is an honest pony! She doesn't need to be rebuked for her most recent manic streak! She needs positive reinforcement!" "What she needs is somepony she trusts to be upfront with her, right?" Rainbow Dash glanced at everyone. "The solution's pretty clear-cut, if you ask me." "I concur whole-heartedly, darling!" Rarity said with a devilish grin. "There's only one thing to do!" "Right." Rainbow nodded. "We just swallow our pride, trot up to Applejack, and tell her that there's a fine line between having fun and being selfish—" "We have to find something that Applejack will enjoy more than the apple loader!" Rarity exclaimed. "Then she will surely give up the blasted thing!" Rainbow blinked at Rarity. "Buh?" "Why..." Twilight gasped. "That's a brilliant idea, Rarity!" Rainbow spun and blinked at Twilight. "Buh?!" "Yes!" Pinkie bounced up, her mane once again full and flouncing. "Yes yes yes! A fun bomb! Heeheehee!" She grinned. "We just blitz AJ with stuff she enjoys until she coughs up the heavy metal!" "But... that..." Rainbow gritted her teeth. "That's stupid!" "Absolutely!" Twilight grinned brightly. "Stupid enough to work! Thanks for putting us on the right path, Rainbow!" "Unnnngh..." Rainbow slumped in mid-hover. "You're welcome..." She bit her lip. "I think." "So, the challenge—then—is to figure out the nature of the task ahead of us." Rarity gulped hard. "Just what would Applejack enjoy? I mean... truly enjoy?" "Apples?" Fluttershy blurted. Everypony instantly glared at her. Her head drooped. "I-I tried..." "Oooh!" Pinkie bounced. "Hard work? Lots and lots of sweat? Sawdust?!" "She gets all of that already with the apple loader, though," Twilight said. "No, we have to lavish her with something bigger... more creative." "No no no..." Rarity waved a hoof. "We shan't expend all of our efforts in one go. What if we all made the wrong decision?" "Then what are we gonna do?!" Pinkie chirped. "How about..." Twilight slowly, slowly grinned. "We each try treating Applejack with a different thing? Surely—between the five of us—we're bound to find her something she'd enjoy more than the apple loader!" "But... uhm..." Fluttershy gulped, squatting low with a timid shiver. "I-I don't even know where to begin..."