//------------------------------// // P // Story: Apple Loader // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------// "Nnnngh... mmmfnnngh... hnnnnngh!" Spike sweated and panted, his aching hands gripping the wooden handles on either side of him. "Spike Wikey?" Rarity craned her neck from the seat of the little rickshaw behind the dragon. "Are you doing quite alright?" "Oh... n-never b-better!" Spike wheezed as he pulled the rickety cart up the hill to Sweet Apple Acres. "It's my pleasure... t-to do... anything for... you... R-Rarity...!" "Ah, well, in that case, would you mind going a bit faster?" She sipped on the straw of a lemonade glass and leaned back under her parasol. "I enjoy the gentle breeze that a swift trip makes against my cheeks." "Nnngh... r-right... gentle breeze coming r-right up!" Spike hissed and wheezed. "Hey... uh... Tw-Twilight? Not an emergency... b-but... hngggg-h-how much further do we have to go?" "We're here!" Twilight said as she trotted briskly through the front gate to Sweet Apple Acres in front of the two. "Wow, you smell all that fruit in the air? Applejack must be busy with the latest harvest!" "Oh, curses." Rarity pouted, forelimbs folded. "And here I hoped that she'd be trying out my gift instead." "Now, remember, let me start out the conversation," Twilight said. "You'll get your chance to express your feelings to Applejack, but first I want to be sure that—" Twilight stood dead still, suddenly silent. "Hmmm?" Rarity winced from her bandaged leg as she sat up in the rickshaw. "What is it, Twilight?" "Do... do either of you hear that?" "You m-mean the sound of my heart v-valves collapsing?" Spike wheezed. "No, it..." Twilight grimaced. "...it almost sounds like a freight train..." Her eyes twitched. "...rolling off the tracks!" The ground shook beneath them with the force of a tremorous earthquake. "Aaaaaiiie—Uhhh-Aaaaaaack!" Rarity flailed and squirmed in a panic. "We must dive for cover! Spike! Quickly! Find a ditch!" "I am a ditch!" he whimpered. "Everypony, brace yourselves—!" Twilight dashed over and covered the three in a protective purple bubble of magic just as the earth around them threatened to split in three places at once. Thud. Thud. Thud! Thud! Thud! THUD! THUD!!! A hulking mass of metal and apples skidded to a stop, halting just inches from the flinching trio. SCRKKKKKKKK! The mechanical quadruped wobbled, housing veritable mountains of apple baskets brimming with the juicy crimson fruit. The vehicle's hydraulics hissed steam while a greasy, sweat-stained mare rested in the heart of the steel riggings, bearing a blissfully stupid grin. "Howdy, my little ponies!" Applejack panted and panted. "Whew-weeeee! It's a great day to be alive! Y'all reckon?! Darn if I ain't a sweatin' mess, but I sure am livin' it up at the same time!" She wiped her brow—accidentally making the machine slice the air above her companions with a bone-crushing metal limb. FWOOOOSH! A concussive wind knocked Spike—yelping—off the road and into a cluster of bushes. "Whoops?! Heheheh..." Applejack chortled, relaxing lazily against the inner cross-bars of the loader. "Sorry for the unexpected salute there, girls. It's just that this clunker and I think alike, if y'all catch my drift." She guffawed pleasantly. "Eh heh heh heh!" Rarity was curled up inside the rickshaw, wincing and whimpering to herself. Slowly, Twilight stood up, brushed herself off with her wings, then glared back at Rarity. "She 'loathes' the gift, huh?" "Eheheheh..." Rarity sweated nervously. WREEEEE! With a mechanical squeal, Applejack was suddenly grinning in Twilight's face—the whole titanic weight of the bent machine reeling above them. "Good afternoon, Twi!" Applejack beamed, teeth bright. "What's up?!" "Uhhhh..." Twilight trembled in the whirring behemoth's shadow. "You are... apparently." She gulped. "Why ya lookin' so glum, Princess?! T'ain't like you! Got a special report to write about friendship or somethin'?" "I'm... certainly dr-drafting one in my head right now." "Awwww." WHIRRRR! Applejack leaned the loader back. "How about some fuel for the fire, huh?!" WHUMPPP! She slammed a full basket of fruit down in front of the alicorn. "Eat up, sugarcube! Have as many as you want! It's on the house!" Only now were Twilight's hooves touching back down from the basket's earth-slamming. "Uhm... thanks, but no thanks, Applejack. I-I couldn't rob you of your harvest—" "HAH!" Applejack's cackling voice reverberated off the gold bars. "Are ya kiddin'?!" CL-CLANK! "Why, ya see these here baskets of apples I'm hoistin' around?!" "It's a little difficult to..." Twilight squinted. "...through all thirty or forty of the other baskets." "Well, this is just the peel of today's work, if y'all dun mind me gettin' all metaphoric-like." She giggled and pointed (WREEEEEE!) across the Acres. "Over there are about two hundred more baskets just like this one!" "Two... hundred?" Twilight's jaw dropped. "Applejack, when did you start bucking the trees?" Wh-Whtung! Applejack leaned back with a proud smirk. "Seven o'clock this morning." "Only six hours ago?! But—that's... that's..." "Eeeyup! The entire west field in half a day!" VRMMM-CRKK-CHTUNG! Applejack raised the apples overhead in two mammoth, mechanical arms. "And buck buckin'! I done just jumped into the Twenty-Fillieth Century!" "Uhhhhhhhhh—" "Why, I'm talkin' about this here gizmo, of course!" Applejack giggled. "The bestest, most kindest gift I ever did receive from anypony!" TH-THUD! She dropped the baskets neatly on either side of the vehicle, causing the rickshaw beneath Rarity to rattle. "It's an absolute hoot, Twilight! I can't believe that I gave technology the brush-off for so cotton-pickin' long! Sure, I was a bit fussy with it at first, but now that I've gotten the hoof of it—heheheh—it's doin' wonders for the farm!" "Really?" Twilight smiled nervously, her teeth rattling with each heartbeat. She sat in the shade of Applejack's shadow. Meanwhile, a dazed and bruised Spike crawled out of the nearby bushes. "So... I take it that you actually like Rarity's gift." "Like it?!" Vrkk! Crkkkt-Zmmmmm-Pfrtttt! Applejack struck a hoof-rearing pose, creating a miniature cyclone in the air with massive mechanical legs. "I adore the ever-lovin' fluff out of this thang! Whew!" She came back down, slamming the soil and sending Spike flying into the bushes again. "And guess what?!" "Erm..." Twilight wheezed, her voice cracking through the rising dust. "Wh-what?!" "I ain't no free-loadin' sloth like Flim'n'Flam on account of this machine, neither!" Applejack winked through the bars and support struts. "So long as a member of the Apple family is in the heart of this thang, it's still got our signature seal of quality!" "That's... qu-quite marvelous, Applejack!" Rarity said with a nervous smile. "You bet!" Applejack leaned forward. Grnkkkt! "You wanna have a taste to find out for yerself?!" "Oh ho ho ho ho no thank you. Hah hah hah..." Rarity waved a dainty hoof, smiling cheesily. "I'm quite fine. Besides, I stuffed myself with tea and crumpets at Twilight's—" Applejack reached for a basket, and Rarity flailed on the rickshaw. "—h-h-h-houssssse!" CL-CLAKK! Applejack clasped a single fruit between two massive claws and—WHIRRR—FWOOOOOOOSH!—shoved it within two centimeters of Rarity's fragile, flinching muzzle, stopping at a hair's width. "Here y'all go! Take a bite!" "Eeeeeee-eeeeep!" Rarity trembled, her body uncurling slowly as she stared in horror at the apple dangling off the titanic metal limb. With a shiver, she reached forward and took a tiny nibble. "Mmmmmm-mmmmmmmm..." She smiled in spite of her panicked sweat. "My, my, that is most heavenly and sc-scrumptious!" "Hah! I knew it! Even with all this metal, I haven't lost my touch!" Cr-Crunkkk! Applejack stepped back in the suit, venting steam and mana exhaust. "And this is just the beginning!" "Mrmmff..." Rarity gulped the apple mush down and stammered, "The b-beginning?" "Yup! I can't wait to sow the corn with this! Or paint the barn! Or feed the livestock—" Applejack gasped, her emerald eyes widening. "Duaaaaaaaaah—Hog tyin'! Land's sakes! It's like a whole 'nother horizon has stripped down to its scibbies right in front of me!" "Nnnngh..." Spike crawled out again, collapsing breathlessly in the dirt road. "Alright... she said 'scibbies.' Can we go now?" "Uhm... WOW!" Twilight gulped and levitated the dragon whelp onto her back. "Look at that! Poor little Spike is exhausted! We'd love to stay and see you do all of your... wonderful robot tricks..." She grimaced as the earth below started shaking and shifting. "... with your... new toy... but, uhm..." Twilight cleared her throat. "Uh, Applejack...?" "Y-yes, Twilight?!" Cl-Clank! Cl-Clank! Cl-Clank! Applejack was doing push-ups inside the machine, thus causing the massive loader to thrust up and down in a missionary position above the earth. "Keep talkin'! Don't mind lil' ol' me!" Cl-Clank! Cl-Clank! Cl-Clank! "I've been inside this rattlin' hunk of agriculture all day, and I'm just makin' sure it doesn't turn me soft!" Cl-Clank! Clank! "Even train conductors need their exercise, ya reckon?!" Rarity gulped. "Applejack—" "Heh heh heh heh!" Cl-Cl-Cl-Clank! Rarity sat up on the rickshaw, raising her voice. "Applejack, don't you think it's high time you gave that marvelous device—not to mention your marvelous self—a rest?" "And what?!" Applejack heaved and panted, smiling up through the undulating machine. "Put to waste this humble gift you've so kindly bestowed? T'ain't proper, Rarity! I think what you've given me is a real whizz-banger, and I intend to whizz-bang it to its fullest! Heheheh—" "Yes... well..." Rarity fidgeted. "Applejack..." Twilight stepped forward, only to hop back—"Gaaie!"—when one of metal limbs nearly knocked her horn off. "Wh-what Rarity's trying to say is that maybe you shouldn't let your enthusiasm get to your head! She won't be offended if you turn the machine off for... y'know... a little while!" Her eyes darted sideways. "Or a long while." She nudged the rickshaw. "Would you, Rarity?" "Oh, m-most assuredly not!" "Heh... Yer too sweet, girls." Applejack stood up tall in the machine, hissing with steam and exhaust. "But dun you worry yer fuzzy heads none! I've always been able to handle a heap of hard work! And now, with this doohickey, I can handle it ten times more! I ain't fixin' to turn this thang off until I've got the farmwork done for the next ten days at least!" Twilight shuddered. "That's... what I was afraid of." Hers and Rarity's ears twitched to the sound of a mare's voice sing-songing overhead. "Mail call!" Derpy Hooves flew in low, grinning beneath her wall-eyes. She reached deep into a basket and pulled out an envelope. "Letters for the Apple Family!" "Now now, dun wear yer wings out, sugarcube!" Applejack said. Crkkkk! She ripped the mailbox out of the earth by its post and thrusted high it into the air. Wreeeeee! "Lemme make it easier for you!" "EEEEEEK!" Derpy flinched in mid-air, hugging her mailbag and shivering. Several envelopes spilled out as she gazed in horror at the dangling lid of the box looming just before her gray muzzle. "Go on, darlin'!" Applejack squinted from the heart of the steely machine. "Slip one of 'em notes in! Yer doin' a bang-up job!" Derpy gulped. Timidly, with an inward squeak, she dropped an envelope in. "Way to go, Miss Hooves!" THUNKKK! Applejack stabbed the mailpost back inside the earth and thrust a basket of apples up in the air. FWOOOSH! "Here! Take one for the road!" "Mmmm..." Derpy nervously reached past her mailbag/body pillow and yanked an apple nervously from the bakset. "Th-thanks! You're t-too kind, Miss Applejack!" "Want some jam to go with that?!" "NO!" Derpy hollered. "I mean... eheheh... no! I'm good!" She flew backwards, teeth chattering as she stared at the machine. "I'll be even better... fl-flying the rest of my route..." A gulp. "Far away from here!" She spun and darted off—only to slam face-first into a street sign. WANG! "Euuuughhh..." With a delirious grin, Derpy fell unconsciously into a row of bushes. "Mrmmf..." Spike wheezed, slumped over Twilight's flank. "Better her than me." "Well, it's been fun!" Rarity chirped, motioning savagely to Twilight. "The bee's knees, for sure! But we must get going, mustn't we, Twilight!" "Yes! Definitely!" Twilight was already drawing the rickshaw with her magic. As Rarity spun around, she waved a dainty hoof at Applejack and her machine. "You two... erm... have fun raking the earth for its plentiful bounties!" "Hah hah hah! Yer a riot, Rarity!" Applejack waved a metal arm. Whirr-Whirr-Whirr! "I'll be sure to do that! Whatever it means!" Cl-Clank! She turned around and stormed across the farm toward her next chore ike a runaway Hydra. "Yer the best gal pal everrrrrr!" THUD THUD THUD! Once Twilight was beyond the crest in the hill, she broke into a gallop, dragging the rattling rickshaw behind her. "Ow!" Rarity winced, grasping her bandaged leg. "Ow ow ow ow!" "Rarity!" Twilight gasped over her tail. "Are you—?!" "No, Twilight!" Rarity hissed. "Don't you dare slow down!" She threw a pale look over her shoulder. "You shan't do anything but put as much distance between ourselves and that farm, pronto!" "Well..." Twilight huffed and puffed. "At l-least we now know she loves your machine!" "Yes..." Rarity wrung her hooves together, squeaking. "A little too much!"