//------------------------------// // Chapter One: Diagnosis // Story: Sweet Irony // by AssertiveFluttershy //------------------------------// Horse M.D looked up from his patient files with a grim expression. “Pinkie I have some good and bad news.” Pinkie looked quizzically back at him. “I'm still getting the shudders. Oo-o-oh, oo-o-oh.” Her tail twitched spastically. “You see? There it is again. Whatever the bad news is it can’t be that bad, my Pinkie Sense is telling me the worst hasn’t happened yet. So tell me the bad news first Doc I can handle it!” Horse just stared at her and the idea of such a belief that she could predict anything with a ‘Pinkie Sense’ “There's nothing in this world that can't be explained, eventually, and that ‘twitch’ is your body shutting down due to Type 1 Diabetes. After a few dietary changes with exercise you should have little to worry about. Oh and there will be the insulin injections you will have to take at least five times a day.” Pinkie did not seem fazed at all. Horse continued. “You are going to have to count carbohydrates for everything you eat. Starting off we will need to keep you on a lower carbohydrate diet to make sure we get things in control. Before you eat anything you will have to test your blood sugar on a monitor and record your readings in a log book along with the amount of carbohydrates you will be eating. A good meter reading is anything from eighty to one hundred and twenty. The nurse will explain more later.” Pinkie seemed to be listening and chimed in with a question. “I will have to count carbo-what-drates?” Horse looked at her with no amusement. “Carbohydrates, everything you eat prepackaged will come with a nutrition values chart on the back and for any unpackaged foods we have a book here listing the carbohydrate values. The book should have most foods in it but if there is any question we have a nutritionist on staff that will be more than willing to help. Now we want you to limit you to three meals a day of exactly fifty carbohydrates. This is more carbohydrates than most ponies but you seem to lead a very active lifestyle with parades and what not.” Horse rolled his eyes at his own statement. “So how much cake is that?” “None” “WHAAAT?!?!?!” Pinkie Pie was now showing the reactions expected for the recent news. Horse seemed pleased that something got through to her. “You shouldn’t worry. Things will get easier with time and soon you won’t miss things like cake, or candy, or cupcakes, or punch, or apple cider, or muffins, or pudding, or éclairs, or moose moose’s, or donuts, or anything that any young filly would live off of but know better than to live off of sugar.” “But Doc, I can’t LIVE without yummy scrumptious candies or cakes, I would die in less than an hour!” “Pinkie it is just the opposite. If you do eat more sugar than you are supposed to you will get really sick. You could get complications when you get older. You wouldn’t want to lose your tail or even worse a hoof, now would you?” Pinkie looked dejected and simply nodded in agreement with the doctor. “I guess not.” Horse continued, “Well we will have a nurse come in and explain how to use your new meter and to give yourself shots. You will have to give yourself one shot right before bed of twenty one units of the insulin called Flyntus. You will also need to take twenty five units of Hoofalog before every meal. The nurse will explain everything in detail so you can take good care of yourself. I will want to see you back here in three weeks to make sure everything is working out. Please call us if there is anything you have a question about.” Pinkie Pie looked up from staring at the floor with a depressed look. “Hey Doc I have one last question. What was the good news?” Horse grinned, “I almost forgot! The good news is it’s not lupus!” With that Horse M.D left pinkie in the small hospital room. Not more than three minutes later Nurse Redheart came in with a large saddlebag full of instructions and medications. After the thirty minute debriefing on what exactly Pinkie would have to do to stay healthy and happy. Pinkie signed all of her release papers and glumly walked out of the hospital. Pinkie walked through Ponyville rather un-Pinkie like. She thought to herself, ‘This can’t be too bad, I mean other ponies have to deal with this and they get along just fine. Right? I have my friends to help me through this! They will all help and support me!’ Just as she finished this train of thought she passed the town square where the Cutie Mark Crusaders were making their latest attempt at getting their cutie marks. They had entered Ponyvilles Annual Belmont Cream Pie eating contest. Sweetie Belle, Apple Blossom and Scootaloo were all tied for the win at twenty six pies each. Pinkie thought to herself, ‘I could outdo them! My record was fifty nine pies!’ Suddenly she realized she was drooling. She was fighting every urge in her body to go and show everypony how it was done. She knew the doctor said she couldn’t eat those kinds of things anymore, but how could anypony ask somepony to just stop living? Sweets were her life and without them she was not the bouncy pony she was known to be. Feeling more depressed and alone as ever she had to turn and walk away from the contest. She started humming to herself to try and pick up her spirits. She then meekly began to sing one of her favorite songs for support and encouragement. In a sad, depressed and almost on the verge of tears Pinkie sang. “Come on, everypony, smile, smile, smile. Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine. All I really need is a smile, smile, smile, From these happy friends of mine! It’s a perfect gift for me, Is a smile as wide as a mile! To make me happy as can be! Smile, smile, smile, smile, smile! Come on and smile… Come on and smile……………”