A/NYeah the story is face paced but in the off time that I haven't been writing this i've been writing a self insert that is [Check it out) And finally shoutout to FlyingEagle93 for encouraging me to continue writing.
I woke up at about nine but with Rainbow sleeping with her head on my chest i couldn't get up. Nor did I want to it was time to enjoy life while I was here. I let out a contented sigh and smiled while keeping a conversation up with Wrath and Divine.
Do we have plans for today?
Do we ever have plans besides getting in some sort of trouble?
I try not to.
Does it ever work?
Touche
*Yawn* "You just needed to move me if you wanted to get up." Rainbow said rubbing her eyes
"Yeah but I just want to kick back and enjoy life for once. Instead of fighting constantly. Hmm Tell the girls to meet me at that cafe we always go to in an hour. I have some business to take care of." I said flying out the window instead of the door
Why didn't we use the door?
Why can't I equip two shields in Skyrim?
Why can't I hold all these lemons?
Why can't I believe it's not butter?
At that moment I collided with a tree. Which wasn't fun
Why don't you fly straight?
Why don't you suck my balls Divine?
I picked myself up and walked into town and a pony.
"Oh jeez man I'm sorr.........
I lost track of my sentence as I found myself face to face with a chestnut brown stallion with a mane styled like the tenth doctor's hair. I continued looking at him for a few seconds longer before saying
"Sonic screwdriver, Allons-y, Tardis, Rose, Gallifry, Daleks."
The pony looked at me for a few seconds then winked at me and hoofed me a twelve pack of coke.
"Allons-y" The pony said walking away with a grey and yellow pegasus.
I shall call him Doctor Whooves!
From the planet Gallopfray
Oh god are we nerds
Be that as it may.We are nerds with the only pack of coke in Equestria
How did he know that Coke is the best soda?
Common knowledge bro.
Damn right!
Language
Oh. Sorry damn straight
I chuckled and walked into sugarcube corner. I walked up to the counter.
"Hey Mr.Cake can I get a baker's dozen of your most popular cupcakes?" I asked
"Why sure. That'll be twenty five bits." Mr.Cake Replied
I dropped seventy five on the counter.
"No Jake I can't take that much. It would be unfair." He said pushing the bits toward me
"It's a gift Mr.Cake please accept it." I said taking my box of cupcakes
He sighed and said "Fine you win. But something has been bothering Pinkie all day can you please talk to her?"
"She's my friend of course i'll talk to her." I said walking up the stairs to her room
I knocked and heard a sad sounding "Come in"
I walked in and saw what I assumed to be Pinkie still in bed. I walked over and sat down on her bed.
"Something wrong Pinkie?" I asked
"Well I had a nightmare and it scared me. I talked to Dash earlier today and that made me feel a little bit better. But it scared me." She said crawling in my lap and curling up into a ball
"I'm apparently an angel and so it is my job to protect. But most of all I will protect you and the others from anything. So you can tell me what happened in your nightmare and I won't think any less of you."
She nodded and recounted her nightmare which involved cupcakes and Rainbow Dash. I sat there and stroked her mane to calm her down. Which I think helped because her mane re-poofed.
"So I heard you and Dashie are an item now." She said grinning
"Yeah we are. I hope theres nothing wrong with that." I replied
"Nope course no silly. GASP I should throw a party!" She started going through her closet pulling out party related materials
"Wait Pinkie I don't know how Rainbow would feel about that. So lets wait and she what she wants to do. Now we need to get to the cafe on time so we aren't late." I said
Discord's Mind
Yes I think that I can break free. All this fighting has certainly been causing some sort of chaos.
"No. I shall break from you. It is my turn to finish what you cannot." A voice said
"Who are you?" Discord asked
"I am the more malevolent version of you. I will have Equestria burn beneath my feet."
At that moment a darker more twisted version of Discord appeared outside of the statue and started walking towards the castle. A murderous fire in his eyes.
Back in Ponyville
Everypony was having a good time. Rainbow and I were congratulated on us finally getting together. We were sitting around drinking coffee and having the best cupcakes made at Sugarcube Corner. It was a perfect day and nothing could make it any better or worse. Everypony in Ponyville congratulated us much to my surprise. I thought that they might have been bigots about it but my reputation turned away any of that.
I sipped on my coffee and reflected on all that had happened in the brief time that I've been here and it made me smile.
"Hey how old our all of you?" I asked
"We are all seventeen except Pinkie who's sixteen." Twilight answered
I nodded my head and became lost in thought again. But not long after I swear to god I heard an explosion in the distance.
Are we allowed to swear to god?
I don't really care.
A few seconds later a couple of Royal Guards who looked like they had been in some serious shit ran up to us.
"Ms.Sparkle The Princess is in grave danger and requires the elements of harmony and The Guardian." The leader of the guards said
"We need to make preparations but first we need to know what exactly is going on." Twilight said
"Discord has risen. But he is killing ponies who try and stop him. It's nothing any of us are prepared for please the Princess is holding off as long as she can while she waits for Luna's reinforcements." The guard said obviously scared
"You guys go. I'll meet you there in a few." I said
I ran off to a hillside where I had buried a box many nights ago. I dug it up with my hands because I didn't have time to run and get a shovel. I pulled a black box up and opened it up grabbing my pistols after chambering the six shells into each I put them in the shoulder holsters on my current outfit. A leather jacket over a plain black shirt along with boots and a faded pair of gray jeans. After arming myself and making sure I had my sword I flew to Canterlot fast enough to make Rainbow look twice.
I was flying over the castle looking for signs of battle. The castle was on fire and missing parts of it. I knew something extremely bad was happening so I flew through the roof of the throne room.
"Oh the elements of harmony. Oh you little ponies just so scare me so much I might as well surrender." Discord teased
"You'll never get away with this Discord!" Celestia Shouted
"Oh, I'm not Discord my name is Malice and i'm here to stay. Malice said as he parried a hit from Rainbow Dash
I will end all of you. Starting with you." He said grabbing Rainbow and hurling her at high speeds at a wall. She hit the wall and slid down it not moving or breathing. Celestia and the bearers of the elements of harmony wept over her body.
WE WILL FUCKING KILL HIM. I WILL SEND HIM STRAIGHT TO SATAN!
I landed in the throne room infront of Malice and shouted YOU HAVE AWAKENED DIVINE FURY
I screamed a battle cry of rage and hate. I hit Malice head on and sent him into the wall I removed my magnum from it's holster and shot him six times in the chest. He shrugged it off and dashed up to me knocking the revolver out of my hand.
"Not so tough now without your weapon huh?" He teased
I pulled my spare from inside my jacket and shot him two times in the chest he hit the gun again from my hand.
"Having fun?"
I pulled my HP-35 from my back holster and shot him six times again. The pistol jammed so i dropped it and drew my sword.
I cleaved through his wing making him screech in pain. He grabbed me and through me through the castle walls I hit another stone wall and slid down it. I looked at my sword and had an idea Malice walked up to me and tried to attack again I knocked him back and drew my new weapon.
"Alright you Primitive Screwhead, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"
After that I shot him in the chest ripping it open. I grabbed Malice who was already regenerating and willed the evil away turning him to a horrid looking statue. His face twisted in pain and agony. I strapped the weapon to my back and walked through the hole in the wall. I walked over to Rainbow and put my hands on her not saying a word. I felt my life drain away and into her like I wanted. I stood up after that and watched my hands turn to sand.
I looked at the ponies who were watching me. "Remember me make sure to take care and live life to it's fullest." I said as my body turned to dust
I woke up in a white room that was all too familiar.
"You have alot of explaining to do my child." God said