//------------------------------// // Take a Healthy Dose of WIN // Story: Yaerfaerda // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// Props crawled up into the cockpit of the Noble Jury. "Hi hi, handsome!" She smiled with flouncing ponytails. "How's Nancy handling the nips? Heehee!" "She's flying stable," Floydien muttered, turning a few dials from where he sat. "But she could use more of the zap zap from paint bucket boomer." "Mmmhmmm..." Props sipped from a mug of hot cocoa. "Y'know... is it just me, or is she needing to zap that thing more and more in shorter spans of time?" "Floydien thinks that the book no longer needs her," the elk said. "And paint bucket boomer no longer needs the book." "Yeah. Freaky." Props shivered. "What do you suppose that means?" "Floydien can't pretend to know that spit," the pilot said, suddenly leaning forward, his red eyes squinting. "East horse's destiny is... very... mysterious..." His muzzle scrunched at the sight of multiple, multiple blue bodies all surging the Jury's way. "Hmmmm..." "What is it, handsome?" He slowly reached a cloven hoof back. "May Floydien borrow blonde boomer's mug?" "Uhhh..." Props shrugged. "Sure!" She hoofed him the hot cocoa. "Thank thanks." Floydien took a sip and spat all over the windshield. "Psskkkttt!" "Ackies!" Props flinched. "Handsome?! What gives—?!" SW-SW-SW-SW-SWOOOOSH! A hundred Rainbow Dashes soared through the snowy air, rocking the Noble Jury off-center as their giggles rang through the bulkheads. "... ... ..." Props' blue eyes blinked. "Gimme th-that mug!" "Here..." Floydien hoofed it back to her. She took a big sip, leaned forward, and spat all over the windshield too. "Spkkkttt!" FWOOOOOOSH! Outside, a solid train of blue fuzz and rainbow hair soared toward the crooken mountain peak to the west. The air resonated with raspy chuckles and voice-cracking giggles. Through it all, one determined pegasus bobbed and weaved. Gritting her teeth, Rainbow Dash threaded her way through the massive flight and pulled herself toward the front of the pack. She squinted against the pelting snow, her vision foggy from the sheer distortion of air that all of the powerful wings caused. "You're going down!" one of the dozens of pegasi shouted. "Oh yeah?!" Rainbow grunted, eyes tearing. She opened her mouth again— "IN HISTORY, MAYBE!" the entire atmosphere thundered. Rainbow winced. "Celestia on a trampoline..." Holding her breath, she angled her wings, dove down, bounced off a flurry of cold air, and propelled herself upwards. She was nearly at the head of the group, inching her way past several blue bodies and shoulders and— Wh-Whap! "Gaugh!" Rainbow yelped, nearly being thrown off course. As they approached the crooked mountain, she glanced aside. "Did one of you just bump into me?!" "Pfft! No!" said one, while another— Wh-Wham! "Aaugh!" Rainbow yelped again, struggling for balance. "Knock it off! You..." She grimaced. "You cheater!" "Quit hitting yourself!" Whap! "Quit hitting yourself!" Smack! "Quit hitting yourself!" Th-Thwap! "Eeh hee hee hee!" "Hah hah hah hah!" "Rghhh... Luna's nipple!" Rainbow wheezed, shrugging off the multiple hard-contacts. "H-how could I possibly suck this bad?!" Just as she wheezed those words, the flock finally reached the crooked mountain. She held her breath, weathering the g-forces as she and all of the doppelgangers spun sharply around the jagged peak. Then, evening out, the group flew back towards Ether Point in a solid line. The air thundered from every set of wings flapping harder to boost themselves down the final straightaway. "Can't let them win..." Rainbow hissed under her breath. She felt her sweat freezing across her brow as she pushed her wing muscles to the limit. "Think about the changelings back at Amulek..." Her eyes narrowed. "I owe it to th-them...!" "They're coming back around," Josho said from the llamas' plateau. "EE," Roarke spoke. "Can you tell who's ahead?" "Uhhhhh..." Eagle Eye sighed, shrugging his forelimbs and slapping them down. "Rainbow Dash is... pulling ahead of Rainbow Dash." "This will prove to be a real migraine if she doesn't win this," Josho grumbled. "Yeah!" Eagle scratched his head and glanced at the others. "Who'll we tell who's who?" "Oooh!" Winree slid in, grinning. "We pluck their tail hairs loose and listen to who yelps the loudest!" "Creative," Roarke droned. "But no." "Say... uhm..." Winree chuckled nervously. "I-I don't suppose you have any fishsticks under th-that helmet of yours, huh?" "Shhhh!" Eagle Eye hissed. "Here they come!" "Ledo's vulva, I'm so glad I didn't bet silver on this," Josho mused. "Grnnngh... hnnngh..." Rainbow pulled and pulled and pulled herself ahead of the group. Then—on a dangerous whim—she spun around and flew backwards, facing the group. "Okay! For the last time! I'm the real Rainbow Dash! You're all are just changeling copies!" "Pffft! As if!" "It's not over yet!" "Say your prayers, punk!" "All my life, I've only ever done things the hard way!" Rainbow shouted, her eyes flickering red-on-yellow. Her pendant glowed and the ends of her mane turned stiff with static energy. "And that's the only way to show you the truth! The hard way!" With that, she twirled around and shot forward with incredible speed. "Watch and learn, dudes!" Rainbow's voice echoed behind her as her body formed a vaporous pale cone of compressed air. "This... is what you call winning!" KA-POWWWWWWWW! The air exploded with a spherical flash of prismatic light, issuing outward in every direction. The dozens of Rainbow Dashes gasped—only to be blown back and knocked off balance by the sheer force of the sonic rainboom. One by one, their blue bodies fell towards the plateau below. "She did it!" Eagle Eye beamed. He hopped up and down. "The real Rainbow did it! Woohooo!" "The borealis!" Winree shrieked, his bright eyes reflecting the heavens as the rainbow glow instantly cleared the sky of all gray snowclouds. "The aurora! The aurora!" He hopped up and down on steaming leg-braces. "Sam! Sam! Take notes! Take notes!" While the other llamas scrambled, Winree paced back and forth, pulling at his face-wool. "Nnnnnngh—GOD! I hope we can somehow eat that!" Swisssssssh! Rainbow hurled down like a color-streaking missile. She ricocheted off the ground, grunted, and slid across the plateau's ice. Wh-Whump! Roarke caught her with metal-laced limbs. Cl-Clak! She retracted her helmet armor, squinting at her with thin, proud eyes. "Congratulations. You just smoked your own flanks." "Mmmmfnngh..." Rainbow rubbed her forehead as her mane slowly, slowly settled in place. "Now I know how Fluttershy felt..." She lifted one leg. "Look. Tell me... are butterflies appearing?" "You're delirious." "Love you too." Rainbow stood up on wobbly legs, her pendant still flickering. "Nnngh... ooh ra." A brief smirk, and then she blinked. "Wh-where the hay did they go?" "Don't fret, speedy," Josho said, pointing at the sky. "Here they come now." "Uh oh..." Eagle Eye helf a hoof over his muzzle. Slowly, the Rainbow Dashes descended, and each one of them had a look of worry and sadness spread across their muzzles. Within the span of a minute, all one hundred-odd of them were perched along the ledges of Ether Point. "But... b-but..." "I don't understand..." "I'm awesome..." "Aren't I awesome...?" "I... I..." "Nopony said you can't be awesome," Rainbow Dash said, pacing forward along with Roarke. With the blizzard completely eradicated, her voice carried far in the crisp, mountain air. "You just don't have it in you to be awesome in the same exact way." "I... we..." One doppelganger grimaced as its body reverted to a black shell under green flame. "We were wrong the whole time..." "Mother..." Another sniffled, its blue fuzz and ruby eyes replaced with dark gloss and glazed green. "She... she abandoned us..." Eagle Eye bit his lip. He turned to look at Josho. Josho looked back. He nodded. Holding his breath, he spun, faced west, and disappeared with a pulse of magic. Fl-Flash! "Now look..." Rainbow stepped up to one of the many changelings, tilting its chin up. "Don't be so glum! It just so happens that 'being me' is a job for three ponies: Me, myself, and I." "But... y-you've done so much good!" one wheezed. "And we..." It sniffled. "We've done so much bad..." "It was so righteous being you," another stammered, its clear eyes leaking tears. "You were the only one strong enough to face up against Mother..." "That's not true!" Rainbow grinned. "My friends wouldn't have survived the perils they did if it weren't for shape-shifters—brothers and sisters just like you—who defied what they were in the past and stood up for saving their fellow equines!" She motioned with her hooves. "And in my travels, I've met other changelings who sacrificed their all just so that innocent ponies could live! You are capable of living past what your 'Mother' made you out to be! You just have to trust in yourself and have faith!" "Faith in what?" A changeling choked on a sob. "We have no future. We don't even have a home!" Fl-Flash! Josho rematerialized with a powerful teleportation spell. A timid earth pony shivered in his grasp. "Rainbow..." Eagle Eye motioned at the pegasus and pointed at Ebon Mane. Rainbow smirked. She faced the changelings once again. "If you don't believe me, then lemme introduce you to a pony who you can believe. A pony with first-hoof knowledge about what you're going through." Eagle took Ebon's hoof. Ebon smiled at him, then trotted across the icy plateau with a brave breath. Shuffling past the llamas, he faced the many-many changelings and said, "I know a lot of thoughts are going through your head right now. I went through the same thing. All things considered, I-I still am. But... you have to believe me... you can pull through this." The Noble Jury's cook took a deep breath. Slowly, a green band of flame ran down his body, exposing a petite changeling that looked identical to the rest. The broodlings blinked, their gossamer wings twitching in curiosity. Eagle Eye trotted up from behind Ebon and nuzzled him. "Hmmm..." The changeling smiled in Eagle's embrace. He reopened his misty eyes and said, "You can find a purpose. What's more, you can find love. It's okay to be scared... at f-first... but soon you'll discover that the best thing you're capable of doing is adapting." "Adapting?" one changeling murmured. "How?" "Have a seat," Ebon said, squatting beside Eagle Eye as the herd of insectoid equines gathered around. "I think it's time we had a long... long talk..."