//------------------------------// // Life and Times of Winning Dashies // Story: Yaerfaerda // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// "Whoah, cool!" A prismatic pegasus flew up to Rainbow Dash. "You look just like me!" "Dude!" Another flew up. "You look just like me!" "D-dude!" Another. "You and you look like me and the other me!" "Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" Two of the pegasi tackled each other, rolling across the supply station with a series of grunts and voice-cracking yelps. They knocked over barrels full of metal tools while the other Rainbows gathered in a circle, whooping and chanting. "Awesome, a fight!" "Awesome, a fight!" "Awesome, a fight!" "EE?" Josho grumbled. "Yeah, old st-stallion?" "I did quit the booze months ago, right?" "I hope so..." "I hope so too." FWOOOSH! Another pegasus flew into the group and hovered before Eagle Eye. "Hey, Twilight! Lookin' spiffy!" Fwooosh! "Yeah! Nice shield, Twilight!" Swisssh! "Why's your muzzle so freaky looking, Twilight?" "Uhhhhhh..." Eagle Eye nervously backed away from the grinning pegasi. "Wh-who's Twilight...?" "Nnnngh..." Rainbow Dash hovered beside Roarke, face-hoofing. "Why me...?" "Because..." Roarke spoke underneath her helmet. "...if they all chose to impersonate a breeder like Zaid, the mountain would have imploded by now." "No, I get why they're all 'me!'" Rainbow exclaimed. "When I dethroned Chrysalis, I gave the zap to every brood on this plane! But..." Rainbow grimaced. "Why aren't they—y'know—in default?!" "H-huh?!" Eagle Eye flashed her a weird look. "You know... default!" "Rainbow, they're changelings, not plastic molds!" "You sure?" Josho droned. "You're pretty good at making Ebon melt." "Josho... tch..." "Say, uh, not to be a sore llama, but..." Winree hopped into view on steaming leg-braces. "What's a changeling?" "These are, ya woolie talking penis," Josho grunted. "You've been harboring a bunch of secret bug-eyed shape shifters and you don't even know it." "Hah!" Winree grinned with twitching eyes. "You mean these fuzzy wuzzies?! Since when has something so cute been so deceptive?!" "He's really starting to annoy me," Rainbow Dash grumbled. "Is that so? I'm only now beginning to warm up to him," Roarke droned. Rainbow glared aside at her. "You must be eating this all up, aren't you?" "Not necessarily," the metal mare said, staring at the group of wrestling, cavorting rainbows. "However... hmmm... that could swiftly be remedied." "Ugh... That's it!" Rainbow marched straight forward and stomped her hooves. "Everypony! Listen up!" Every doppelganger froze, locking eyes on Rainbow's figure. "You've had your fun, but it's time to ditch these frozen spittakers and own up to who and what you really are!" Rainbow hovered high to the metal ceiling. Her voice resonated, rattling icicles and clumps of frost in the torchlight. "Months ago, Queen Chrysalis—your 'mother'—lost control of you and every other hatchling across the globe! For some changelings, this meant new and unprecedented freedom! For others, this meant having to sacrifice their lives to patch up the nasty stuff Chrysalis had set into motion! Now... you guys are in a pickle of your own, but you don't even know it! Not that I blame you for picking such an awesome form to shape-shift into, but game over! You gotta wake up to who and what you really are! These llama dudes have enough on their hooves without having to deal with—" "Pffft! What are you talking about, dude?!" "What are you taling about, dude?!" "I'm Rainbow Dash, and I'm awesome!" "I'm Rainbow Dash! I'm awesome!" "There ain't nothing awesomer than me but me!" "Nopony's awesomer than me!" "Listen!" Rainbow sputtered. "I'm trying to tell you that you've made a huge mistake! I'm flattered—really! But you gotta change into—" "I'm awesome!" "Awesome!" "Awesome!" "Awesome!" "Dang it! Cut it out! You... rrrrrrgh!" Rainbow Dash pulled at her mane. "Snkkkt—Heeheeheee!" Eagle Eye fell against Josho's side, giggling so hard that tears squeezed out of his eyes. "Ohhhhhh ho ho ho ho this is too rich!" "Don't encourage them," Rainbow growled. "Why not?!" Eagle Eye grinned. "They make for a great role model! Don't you think?" "Hey, Rainbow," Josho spoke with a smirk. "No biggie, but any chance we could stack them all together from end-to-end? I wanna see if there's a pot of gold beneath the hundredth mare's flank." "I am the real Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow snarled while the stallions giggled. "Hey... uhm..." Winree leaned in to Josho, grinning twitchingly. "Any chance I-I could steal that last one? We're short on more than just oxygen up here, not that I'm complaining. Heeheehee—" He spontaneously choked and wheezed. "Perhaps if you appealed to their logic," Roarke spoke up. "Used something to convince them that you couldn't possibly be part of their brood." Rainbow Dash brightened upon hearing that. With a devilish smirk, she flew in the center of the group and cleared her throat. "Hey... look alive, bozos!" Several blue muzzles tilted up to face her. "If I'm one of you guys..." She grinned and showed off the jacket clinging tightly to her figure. "Then how come I'm wearing something like this?! It's not as though the llamas had any to spare and—" The room lit up with countless green flashes. "OH COME ON!" "Hey! Awesome jacket!" "Thanks! Hey! Awesome jacket!" "Thanks! Hey! Awesome jacket!" "Thanks! Hey! Awesome jacket—!" As the doppelgangers twirled about, showing off their warm, matching outfits, Josho trotted up. "Don't sweat it, Rainbow. At least they can't mimic your pendant." FL-FLASH! "Dude! You brought your Element!" "Sweet! You brought yours too!" "Dude!" "Sweet!" "Dude!" "Mrmmffff..." Rainbow glared daggers down at Josho. "Whelp..." The obese stallion shrugged. "You're screwed." He trotted back to Winree and Eagle Eye. "Have fun with your rugby teams." "There just has to be a way to get them to recognize who they really are!" Eagle exclaimed. "Yes," Roarke murmured. "Because spontaneous existential crises have worked so well for Elma and Ebon." "I'm with Eagle on this," Josho said. "This is just too many to deal with, and we haven't got all the time in the world to spend here in a winter llama land." "Oh, it gets warmer in the summer!" Winree chirped. "Our spit actually reaches the lower elevations!" "Okay!" Rainbow slapped her hooves together. "I'm telling you for the last time, guys! I'm the real Rainbow Dash! And what's more..." She narrowed her eyes. "I can prove it!" FWOOOOSH! All of the pegasi flew up and stared the mare down. "Oh yeah?!" "Ready to put your money where your muzzle is?!" "What you've got, chump?!" Rainbow smirked. "I've brought everything on the table, under the table, and smashing through the table!" She sneered. "If any of you are really Rainbow Dash, then you can never lose at anything!" "That's for dang sure!" "Buck yeah!" "I'm the winningest pony there ever friggin' was!" "Is that so?!" Rainbow folded her forelimbs. "Well, I've got news for you! There can only be one winner, and that's me! Wanna see for yourselves?" She spat. "I challenge each and every one of you to a race!" Eagle Eye and Josho did double-takes. "Uhmmm..." Roarke fidgeted in her armor. "Rainbow Dash...?" "You heard me!" Rainbow threw her forelimbs up. "Everypony heard me!" She pointed into the thick of the blue fuzzy group. "If I race all of you and win, then that proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that I'm the real Rainbow Dash—the one and only—and the rest of you losers are just making pretend!" "Pffft! As if!" "You're so full of it..." "You're all talk and no trot!" "What's the matter?" Rainbow hissed. "You cowards?" The entire supply station went dead silent—like a grave. Every feathery body froze as if time itself had stopped. Winree glanced left. He glanced right. "PINDROP!" He slapped his knee and giggled incessantly. "Hahahaha... ohhhhhhhhh I'm so hungry." FWOOOOOSH! No less than four dozen Dashes thrusted their sneering faces into Rainbow's muzzle. "You can't call me 'coward' and get away with it!" "You wanna race?!" "You're on, bucko!" "Good! Fine!" Rainbow spun around and slid the door open to the wintry gale. "Right this way, slowpokes—" FW-FW-FW-FW-FW-FW-FWOOSH! The entire flapping herd of Rainbows soared out the front entrance, filling the interior with an ear-splitting tempest. Eagle Eye and Josho clung to each other. "Nnnngh...R-Rainbow Dasssssh!" Outside, the three llamas fell as the mass of pegasi roared over their heads, extinguishing the flames of their burning barrel. "Hey!" one Sam sputtered. "We were using that!" "Get your own mountain!" shouted the other Sam, shaking his hoof. "Just essay!" added Dave, cross-eyed. "Rainbow..." Roarke hobbled out of the supply shed in creaking armor. She stammered, "You'd better know what you're doing!" "Sure don't!" Rainbow shouted, grinning madly as she hovered ahead of the group. "Uhhhhh..." She pointed towards the western horizon. "There! See that mountain with the crooked peak?! We'll fly around that and then back! First to touch down on the llama's plateau is the winner—and the real me! Got it?!" "Got it!" "Got it!" "Let's do this already!" "Alright!" Rainbow cracked the joints in her neck. "On your mark, get set—" Sw-Sw-Sw-Sw-Swissssh! Several bodies already soared past her, spinning Rainbow Dash in the air. "Guhhh!" She gathered her balance, gasping. "Hey! You... y-you friggin' cheated!" "Heeheehee!" "Heehee!" "Haaaah ha ha ha ha hahhhh!" "Grrnnnghhh!" Eyes on fire, Rainbow rocketed after the flock of herself, slicing the snowy air in twain as she struggled to catch up to the group.