//------------------------------// // Don't Say It! // Story: Discord's Delightful Disharmony // by GameJunkie7 //------------------------------// It was just an average peaceful, uneventful, quiet...orderly...BORING day! “Oh what is a dreadfully dreary and unamused being of Chaos to do about these...doldrums that plague us of late?!” The serpentine Lord of Chaos and Disharmony bemoaned his misfortune atop a hammock of webs, spun by the polite cobweb spider in the corner of Fluttershy's living room ceiling, having sought some sort of amusement of anything at all, considering he'd been “grounded” after a recent relapse. “Oh poo...who was I to believe that mailmare was simply lost in lala-land from a recent crash, when she wished for the sky to rain muffins? Everypony got free muffins! How was that worth having this blasted limiter placed on me?” Discord tapped the gilded iron collar at the base of his long neck, which was studded with many kinds of gems, and engraved with numerous intricate runes. It was the latest and most powerful magic limiter that Princess Twilight had devised, specifically for him should he prove to become “difficult” at any time. “At least it's to my liking. Despite it's symmetry, the clashing runes and gems are oh so wonderfully disharmonious. Probably why it works now that I think of it...no matter. Now then...hm....” Discord slumped back into his non-sticking sticky hammock, wonder what he could do to liven things up a bit with his restricted magical prowess being limited to himself. In his musing, he did not notice the buttery yellow pegasus with long pink hair for her mane and tail trot into the room, her saddlebags filled for a long errand, and an irate sulking Angel Bunny on her back. “Oh I know Angel, but you still need your immunization shots from a proper doctor. Since you're the only permanent animal here, you can easily get sick if another animal comes here looking for help with their illness, especially with so many of them.” Fluttershy gently explained to Angel, who sighed and rolled his eyes, before noticing a loose and hanging small feather in his “mom's” left wing, and decided to quickly pluck it out, making Fluttershy eep. “Eep! Angel that...oh, it was about to come out? Thank you Angel, that's one less feather for me to preen. Now then, off we go.” Fluttershy and Angel left through the front door. At the closing of which, Discord finally looked down to take note of the room in abject boredom. But his eyes widened at the sight of a single, small, unassuming yellow feather just gently land on the floor. Said feather was suddenly picked up by a full-sized Lord of Chaos, who beamed at the harmless object in glee. “Oh~ how devious!” His face became sinister as his eyes narrowed, and his smile widened into a wicked sneer. “I know just what to do to both have some fun, and get some payback at the same time. Ah-ha-ha AH-ha-ha-ha-ha~!” (<^>) Princess Twilight Sparkle groaned as she fell face-first into an enormous book in her gigantic tree-like crystalline castle's private library, causing her tiara to unceremoniously fall to the floor. “I don't get it!” She shouted into the book, and bolted upright with an unhinged expression with her eyes gazing in opposite directions. “Nothing I can find explains how we pick up things! With hooves!” Twilight shouted in frustration as she looked at her right hoof. Glaring in fury as if the offending appendage had both insulted her family and denied her the knowledge of all things in existence. All whilst remaining completely silent, and angering her further with it's complete apathy to her plight. “Twilight, give it a rest! Just accept that it's magic and move on-.” Spike, the baby dragon and her faithful numero uno assistant tried to pacify her, only to stoke the flames as she turned on him. “No! Simply saying it's magic is the lazy and unexplained excuse for actually admitting it's unknown! And it's been unknown since the dawn of time! Besides, you have claws! You can't say you don't wonder how ponies pick things up with their hooves, even when there is absolutely NOTHING keeping the item held to it!” Twilight ranted as she touched her still offending hoof to the massive book, and promptly yanked it up without ceremony and shook it around in the air, as it refused to leave her nonexistent grip. “See?! Look at it! It's maddening!” Spike face-clawed, and sighed in exasperation. “Why are you letting this bother you so much NOW?! You should've even consider it since it was Discord who brought it up just to bug you in petty revenge for putting that limiter on him!” “Because it's something related to magic in a way that I: the Princess of Magic, DON'T KNOW! I'd be failing Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Cadence, Equestria as a whole as the Princess of Magic if I don't even know how we pick things up with our hooves~!” Twilight began a downward spiral rapidly into depression, as she started crying, and Spike sighed as he took out a scroll and enchanted quill to quickly write “she's having a silly breakdown again”, burn it with his breath, and idly polish his claws while ignoring the inconsolable crying princess, and shortly got a reply he burped up, and read “code banana”, making Spike flinch. “Um...Twilight...do you like bananas?” Spike asked nervously, and Twilight instantly gasped and stopped being a sobbing mess, and quickly straightened herself out, put back on her tiara and cleared her throat. “N-no. I do not, in a-any way like b-bananas.” Twilight began to sweat as she nervously looked around, hoping against hope that the sudden warning was heeded, and thus avoided a terrible fate. Of feeding Chuckles the giant ape in Celestia's menagerie. That primate loved snuggling ponies way too much, and he stank. “Ok, fine, I'll let it go....” She held up her right hoof, and glared at it in sworn vengeance, to which it was completely oblivious to. “For now.” “Alright then, I'll just-*BURP*!” Spike was about to send the all-clear to Celestia about Twilight calming down, but was interrupted by a new scroll. “What? Who's seal is this?” Spike asked as he didn't recognize the multi-colored wax seal on the scroll, which depicted a broken window. He broke the seal and quietly read the scroll before holding up a large pure white soft downy quill that was contained in the scroll, and Twilight levitated them both to herself before Spike could relay the parcel for her. “Hm...Dear Princess Twilight. This is one of my oldest creations, and one of my most held dear. You will likely see why, but as a warning; Don't Say it? What does that mean? It's just a quill.” She examined the writing instrument and even rubbed her cheek against it to her joy at it's softness. “Oh my gosh! This quill was made from such a luxurious feather-ah! No! Ha-ha-ha~ stop!” Twilight was suddenly assaulted by the downy quill, as it left her levitation of its own will, and proceeded to wildly tickle her belly. “No~! My pfft-hm-hmph! Tummy is so sensitive!” “Twilight!” Spike pounced on the aggressive writing implement and grabbed it in his claws. Making a herculean effort to pull it away from his big-sister/mother figure, who was rolling around on her back by this point. He had managed to get it out of tickling range, but the downy doom of delectable delight refused to cease it's rapid feathery brushing motion. “Geez! This feather really is-bwa-ha-ha~!” Suddenly the persistent integumentary structure turned it's efforts on to the baby dragon, furiously swiping away at the space between the fourth and fifth spines on the back of his head. “My spot! It-tee-hee-knows my spot!” “It knew mine too! This has to be Discord's doing somehow! Hold on, I'll finish reading the letter!” Twilight got the short letter back in her magic and quickly resumed where she was when the fibrous object tickled her into submission. “Ugh! He didn't specify more than “don't say it”! Obviously “it” is the word fea-um, yes. So...let's see...quill!” Suddenly the invasive writing tool stopped it's assault, and Spike panted as he tried to get his breath back. “I just have to refer to it as something other than...well, you know. It's so appealing it's easy to say...that, besides just focusing on it being a quill. So it's a word trap, clearly a juvenile prank.” “Oh you WOUND me princess!” Twilight leered up at the voice, seeing the somewhat restricted draconequus chortling in amusement as he hovered near the high ceiling of the library. “That “juvenile” prank just so happens to be one of my oldest creations! Back when I was but a tot, a fragment of what I am now. You may have bound my own personal magic, but there's nothing stopping me from pulling out the good old bag of tricks! Beings you've restricted me, I'm going to go at it old school! You're in for a big case of disharmony! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha~!” Discord swirled in on himself starting at his tail, and vanished off to who-knows-where. “I don't know whether to be relieved he's resorting to petty pranks...or terrified....” Twilight commented as Spike finally stood up, holding the offending avian appendage. “Let's put it in a sealed box Spike. Don't want to accidentally say feather-oh-wah-ha-ha! Darn it!”