Twilight sat in her room, head in her hooves, when Rainbow Dash strode into the room. It wasn’t quite a stride, Twilight thought, as a dash into the room. Yet even as she realized it was a dash, to claim that Dash dashed was something of a hack to her. Twilight also realized that to define how Rainbow Dash entered a room didn’t really matter when it all came down to it. In essence she found herself subscribing to the fundamentals of existentialism. Did it matter, Twilight wondered, in the face of a void how Rainbow Dash got into a room?
Rainbow Dash had no such qualms about events and the causality of movement. She was a simple mare, who loved Socrates over everypony else. She looked grimly at Twilight, and the Librarian saw a shadow under her eyes. Dash looked like a broken mare who’d hit the
bottle hard the night before. Her mane was flustered and not brushed in the usual style. In a way Twilight knew she was going to be trouble.
“Twilight!” Rainbow Gasped, “Why didn’t you tell me you were a coach?” Twilight was stunned, and had no idea what Rainbow was on about.
“I’m sorry, Rainbow, but I have no idea what you are talking about.” Twilight was satisfied with her robotic response. Rainbow Rolled her eyes at the synthetic mare.
“Twilight, everyone knows you’re the new Ponyville Basketball coach.”
Twilight stood still for a moment. Not because she was shocked, because she wasn’t. The mare knew that was one of her many titles including Librarian, Princess, Mistress, and The Purple One. Sure, Michael Jordan had challenged her to form a Basketball team and play for the fate of Equestria. And it was a highly possible she had accepted in a stupor of ignorance.
“I... uh,” she said in another stupor, something she found herself getting into when humans came up. “This is stupid. What even is Basketball?” Rainbow Shook her head.
“I think it’s a human sport played with ‘hands’,” she said with a grimace. “Literally something, we, as ponies, have no chance to play.”
“Do you think they allow magic?” Twilight asked. Her ears twitched as she heard something behind her.
“There’s nothing in the rules that say a pony can’t play basketball at a professional level according to the NBA.” A large figure, at least eight feet tall, stepped out and towered over the ponies. He looked taller and Jordan and smiles a smile that made the two ponies feel at home even though Twilight was already home and should have felt that way in the beginning.
“Excuse me?” Rainbow Asked the strange. The two got a better look at the behemoth, a man who, in a normal situation, might be the one less than fourth member of the room. Luckily Spike was sitting in the corner, and there was a safe four people. He had a gorgeous crop of dusty grey hair atop his head, and a smile from ear to ear, as if giving good words to all who saw him.
“I’m saying of course you ponies can make a team to fight off Jordan’s evil demands of prolific Basketball offense,” The Man said. Twilight scratched her head.
“Did that even make sense?” she wondered aloud. The stranger laughed heartily, as a king might in a court of his castle.
“Of course it made sense, my little pony. I am Gabe Newell, inventor of the computer and video games. It was I that spread the light of 60fps and 1080p.” Gabe was an incredible man, his entire body rippled with muscle.
“I don’t know...,” Rainbow Suggested. Gabe laughed.
“Of course you do.”
Twilight’s eye twitched as she stared at the man. she breathed out a heavy sigh, looking straight at the man. She could see the individual chest hairs on his chest, the neck of his fashionable polo unbuttoned. If she had tried harder she might have seen through the majestic man, seeing into the universe itself, but that was something no pony dare see.
“Well....” she muttered, “you don’t exactly... look the athletic type.” Gabe frowned, and Rainbow Felt her heart break.
“No,” Rainbow Gasped. “This man can be our team leader for the team!” Gabe put a tender hand on her back, thumb comfortably close to her tail.
“No Rainbow, she’s right. Though I am a man of thick nature, I do not disappoint those who count on me. Every word I’ve said I’ve kept to... no matter what.” Gabe’s gaze turned to the window, staring almost angrily outside, as if he could see something no one else could.
“But... I guess we do need people to fill a team. And Dash’s our most athletic pony.” Twilight put her hooves to her head and grunted. “I can’t even believe this is happening again.” Gabe chuckled, and when he did his features softened, a slight smile on his coy lips.
“This is only the second time, my dear Twilight. The second time is always better.”
“And the third time?” Rainbow Asked.
Gabe shrugged. “I’m not sure.”